Dating after lockdown #21 More red flags than Pamplona, we don’t wanna know about your boner.

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al255

Morning all!!!!!! So my date went well, we’d met years ago so it wasn’t anything but like just meeting a friend. Anyway, he kept complimenting me and told me I need to take compliments I just get all embarrassed! He was lovely and just how I remembered him. We’d had a few gins and the night flowed, we was stood in his kitchen and he made a move on me. Told me I was a good kisser (obvs?) and then well as we was waiting for Netflix to load sparks flew, hahaha. I don’t regret it though cos I was pretty sober I don’t think it’ll go anywhere apart from FWB? We think the other is attractive but I don’t think I can see him in anything other than that capacity. He’s aesthetically pleasing but there’s just something missing. ANYWAY! I’m living my best life making up for the last year being awful.. please don’t judge me for being a whore x
 
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TillyMiffin

Personally no, especially if said in reply to the photo you sent. xx
 
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L

Losa53

So I woke up from a text message from my ex...the guy who was cheating on me when I was pregnant.
He single now and apparently has missed me and regrets everything he said and done ( saying he push me down the stairs so I'll lose the baby)
He asked me to meet him tonight!
Why planet do these men come from

I ignored his message and he phone me on a private number. It was so nice being in this position where I'm not heart broken over the situation and in a vulnerable place where I could finally say everything I wished I said back in January.
Just another reminder why I cba to date
 
Reactions: 9

TillyMiffin

Block him! Stay strong lovely
 
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square_spoon

I went down the rabbit hole of online stalking the ex last night (as in the guy I thought I would marry, hence him being ‘the’ ex instead of ‘an’ ex). Still with the woman he left me for, I dunno how they can literally roll out of one woman’s bed and into another….and have it work out! Despairing I downloaded tinder again and my my, what’s left in the 37-43 bracket round where I live really would send you over the edge

Living for your good news stories and successes girls!
 
Reactions: 11

xcyber

Love this for you! You should feel super proud. This is GROWTH! xx
 
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J

Jadejones9596

Oh i know this scenario all too well! Men have seriously unhealthy coping mechanisms. I think the best way to move on is to take some time to yourself to process what happened and learn from it. We are emotionally mature as women so we tend to go down this route. Definitely give the apps a miss for now, they are so depressing when you're in this head space. Sending love, you'll get there x
 
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BunnyLebowski

Hi Gang,

I’m back from holiday and have a date with tennis boy today. He was very attentive when I was on holiday and things got pretty steamy

Lets hope he lives up to expectations! I’ve loved hearing all your updates, this is the best , most supportive thread on the internet. Love you guys xx
 
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TillyMiffin

How bloody exciting!!
 
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square_spoon

That’s what almost makes it worse though - that he hopped from one bed to the other and made a go of it with her! I’m nearly sure the manual says it’s supposed to be a shitty relationship that crashes and burns….
 
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K

Kimmylookatme

square_spoon said:
That’s what almost makes it worse though - that he hopped from one bed to the other and made a go of it with her! I’m nearly sure the manual says it’s supposed to be a shitty relationship that crashes and burns….
Click to expand...
Haha this is how I feel about my ex’s relationship… he got with her about 2 weeks after me I’m fairly certain there was crossover and it’s still going strong a year later and I’m like WHY
 
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I

IGiveUp22

I feel your pain girls. That guy I was seeing (alright was short) but he’s still with this new girl & im still a bit like “what did she have that I didn’t” it’s rubbish
 
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square_spoon

I did meet a cute electrician who came to do some electrical work on my new flat and it was so refreshing to meet an actual human male in real life as opposed to zipping left and right on photos and bullshit headlines. I’m about to move in and we were chatting for ages - he managed to slip in ‘are you moving by yourself or with a partner…’ and I said ‘oh just me, I’m single!’ Heard nothing since but he was cute as a button and it reminded me what it used to be like before the apps And he barely charged me petrol money!
 
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TillyMiffin

Hi all I’ve been chatting to two guys from bumble, one for about a week, one for a few days. The first one lives in London. He seems ok, ferromagnetic NZ originally, good looking, no real spark though and he keeps asking me to video chat and seems a bit needy! The other one lives about an hour away, much more my type looks wise, seems quite chatty, asked if I would fancy meeting at some point for a gig. We’ll see x
 
Reactions: 8

MsCurly

Kimmylookatme said:
Haha this is how I feel about my ex’s relationship… he got with her about 2 weeks after me I’m fairly certain there was crossover and it’s still going strong a year later and I’m like WHY
Click to expand...
Do you guys remember that whole Khloe Kardashian situation with the father of her child? Apparently she was seeing him whilst he was in a committed relationship with the mother of his first child. At the time, I remember seeing loads of people say "How you get them is how you lose them" and that is usually true!

I can't even imagine why women get together with men who used them as 'the other woman' whilst they were in committed relationship. And I most certainly don't understand why those women choose to pursue a relationship with them. Cheaters usually end up cheating again, only very few people actually change.
 
Reactions: 10

square_spoon

I think cheaters spin a believable tale that the new partner laps up, and maybe there’s an element of ego thinking ‘oh wow, they’re in a relationship they’re willing to give up for ME’ In my own case she’s welcome to him in a lot of ways - I saw one of those insta inspirational quotes at the time that was something along the lines of ‘how you left her said everything’ and it really did. You think spending time with someone buys you a little respect and dignity but apparently not.
 
Reactions: 5

Sandor

I think it’s easy to fall for the script from the affair partner because everyone knows someone (sometimes who knows someone) where the affair couple were absolutely meant to be. It doesn’t make any of it ok, but it does make it possible to think you’re going to be the exception because those stories make it sound all star crossed lovers.

And I think some people like ‘winning’ so when someone in an existing relationship appears to pick them, it satisfies some need for the inner child for feeling wanted more than someone else.

I just don’t know how people find the time and energy to have secret relationships going on before you even get to the immorality of it. I like my life to be simple.
 
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Bagpuss7

As always in life and especially relationships nothing is ever that simple.. sometimes it's best not to judge.
 
Reactions: 1
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