i should say, for all my facetiousness, that i’m really feeling my lack of options at the moment
i talk a big talk about being happy single, and i mainly am, but i can’t help wondering what’s wrong with me at this point. my mother found a lovely pocket watch of my grandfather’s last week and said to my dad “you can wear it if [lablonde] ever gets married” and then a sad little laugh. i feel for her that a lot of her friends are shopping for their mother of the bride outfits right now and i just can’t give her that experience.
also, if someone knows of a secret club where all the decent men in south wales are hiding themselves then please let me know because, wow.
Hey Twin
I think it is ok to allow ourselves to feel low every now and again. Of course it would be great to be inundated with dates and proposals, but there is nothing wrong with you / us. It is what it is.
The more special someone is, the harder it is to find a match that is deserving
Your mum shouldn't have acted this way. It is fair enough to long for the "mother of the bride" experience, but on the other hand - maybe you would have liked to have an older/younger brother / sister that you didn't get, or would have liked to grow up bi-lingual etc.
It is not as if you are withholding this from her out of spite. And will know that.
Maybe you both could do something else that is nice and feels special.
I think this secret "decent men club" had its most recent meeting on a ship that sunk.
I also learned today that they guy I had been dating most recently has an ex-wife in Columbia and will be flying out to see her over Easter. They divorced years ago, but have an on-off relationship and still see each other three times a year when he visits her for various weeks (he is a teacher, so has enough time off). They own a finca and two dogs together.
I had asked him about the dogs as they are on this WhatsApp profile and he said they are in Columbia where he has a finca, but this was on our first date and he didn't say anything else and I didn't want to probe too much given we had just met and then forgot about it.
Somehow I trusted that if there was anything to tell me then he would tell me, especially as he is such an avid reader of books about Buddhism and philosophy and mediates twice a day - I figured he was honest and straight forward. Obviously not.
He tried to give me the "you didn't ask" spin but I didn't buy it, obviously, and said that I felt he had withheld it from me.
And he agreed, he said he didn't know how I would react and also agreed that he should have told me, at least before we had sex. He asked me how I felt about it and I told him that I didn't mind someone having different interests to mine (something he had brought up in the past), but that I felt that the values should be similar and that for me honesty and integrity was very important.
He mentioned that he felt the same way and typically was straight forward - but talk is cheap, so I didn't comment.
He then asked what we should do, whether he should post me the book I had lent him and I said that he could keep the book and that we could still stay in touch but that I felt it would be better for me to date other guys.
Just now I got a text from him with another apology, saying that I didn't deserve it and thanking me for my "great" reaction.
I think I could react in such a cool manner because of all of our experiences on this thread. "Oh, your shagging your ex-wilfe in Columbia in all the school holidays? Bring it on! I heard worse!"
You gotta laugh. Cupid on his pink cloud must be laughing his axx off.
