I literally wondered am I doing it wrong is this how it’s done? Are they used to people engaging in sexual innuendos lol. I enjoy it if I am seeing someone, but it comes across as 1. Your a creep and 2. You haven’t had sex in ages lolUrgh, really? Because your favourite position is such an important question to get answered, isn’t it?!You’re right. I think you’re absolutely wasting your time to say anything to them. I wonder if it works on some women - I just can’t figure out why it’s so prevalent, so must work sometimes?!
Dating after lockdown #18 Show me your c*ck and I will block
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Definitely a desperate air from the ones that do that! I was out out last night for the first time in forever and Jesus some of the blokes just reeeeeeked out desperation. Like you’d see one overly Lynxed and gelled up man trying his tit chat on a group of girls way out of his league and just embarrsssing himself. Or they just stand and literally stare like they’re shopping.
Yes! They always think we’re ‘emotional’ for talking about feelings. I’m pretty in tune with myself and am comfortable communicating, and come across as rational and calm. I don’t like the drama generated by men through not communicating! It feels like maybe it was easier for him to push me away, but if my ex just wanted space, I wish he’d asked me. Maybe he was scared I wouldn’t want to hang around him and his issues. Just not true. I would try my best for someone I see as very much worth my time.
A time limit makes sense. I’m sort of like that about returning to dating. I’m not ready but I won’t give him forever. I think what you’re asking for is fair and reasonable. I really hope he starts bringing those barriers down with you, and starts trusting you have the best of intentions with him. It’s very hard dealing with someone who’s been hurt.
I had those thoughts too. That’s why finding threads like this helps. It’s definitely nothing we’re doing wrong and there’s no pressure to engage in the conversations. There’s sexual innuendo and outright being vulgar with some of them. I’m not prudish, but the word we’re looking for here is respect. If I sense disrespect, I’m off!
Does anyone else get the horrendous post drinking anxiety?
I know I said some stuff last night that I regret and that maybe came across as rude and uncaring but I’m possibly blowing it way out of proportion in my head! Gah, never learn. Always fun at the time then awful after!
I know I said some stuff last night that I regret and that maybe came across as rude and uncaring but I’m possibly blowing it way out of proportion in my head! Gah, never learn. Always fun at the time then awful after!
Yes it really helps knowing it happens to others too, I felt like it was me at first because two of my co workers have actually gone on dates and had normal conversations on the apps so why not me lol. Yes it feels disrespectful, what gets me is they’d have more chance if they didn’t mention it lol
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It gives off real ick vibes! They act like horny teenage boys when a lot of these men are around age 30! The shopping comment is how they treat dating apps too. Someone mentioned above it must work on some girls or they’d stop doing it surely lol
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I can see why you’d feel that, but it’s honestly the luck of the draw and not you. It’s a numbers game. It does depend on which app you’re using. You will get these sorts on all apps, I’ve experienced it on Bumble, Tinder, Plenty of Fish and Match, but my personal experience was that it was rarer on Bumble and Match.
Yes I’m going to remember that. I may try bumble when I have the energy for it again. I could feel it knocking my self esteem so going to work on that for abit first. Seems harder to meet people in real life when you don’t get out much lol
It’s hard when it looks like others are getting better results, faster. But it’s not like that. There’s no race, and no pressure. You’re no doubt a lovely person, with plenty to offer. Don’t forget that. Be discerning with who you engage with. Better to wait for a decent offer than fall into the wrong date just to say you have a date. Whenever it hits your esteem, or feels like pressure/negative, step away. Put yourself first and remember it’s a marathon, not a race x
Yes that’s very true, I’m becoming content being alone again after feeling super lonely at the start of the year. Thank you
yes I have a lot to offer, it seems these men come with the bare minimum lol. Hitting the block button as soon as the conversation feels uncomfortable lolIt's a no from me, for many reasons (and for context I used to escort so pretty well-aquainted with the tit some men will pull) and I'm also at the age now where I no longer sit back and put on the "cool girl" act for everything a guy does. "Oh, you're following OF models and viewing porn daily - no worries, I'm not like other girls so I'm totally cool with that, boys will be boys!" - you know how it goes.
As you say, it doesn't show good judgement and frankly I'd expect a man in his 30s to be using his time more productively as opposed to ogling OF girls for hours on end. I was with a guy who followed countless OF girls and it didn't make me insecure because I'm comfortable with myself, but he was addicted to porn and with that came with a whole host of other issues that ultimately ended the relationship. Insane amounts of money being spent on OF, constant anxiety and snapping because he needed his porn fix, a secret stash of nudes from girls he used to speak to from years ago (yup - be careful of who you send pics to), fake profiles on dating sites to solicit nudes, hours and hours spent looking at porn and Instagram girls. The list goes on...
It's a pretty extreme example I admit but honestly, it's just not worth it. It's very rarely innocent and "just" girls on Instagram. At the very least, ask yourself why he feels entitled to have a personalised page 3 feed in his pocket at all times and if it's something you want to tolerate - and I guarantee it will be something you end up coming to resent.
This is so well said. I am fully aware some women choose to do sex work or something similar voluntarily, but I don’t like OF because of its association with porn, which always leads to human trafficking, coercion and so on. I know men will still look at other girls, like other women, there is no way to prevent them from doing so (and no point in it), but I’d be quite concerned if my partner openly frequented OF and similar sites. Porn addiction is a real and serious issue.
Also, we might have discussed it already (and this is not aimed at anyone, just my thoughts), but Amy Dunne’s ‘cool girl’ monologue from Gone Girl sums up the ‘perfect woman’ stereotype perfectly. But just because you conform to it, accidentally or by choice, does not mean men will respect you. It’s a lot of sexist BS that has been fed to us for years because there are still more men in control of media, art, entertainment that we consume. It leads us to seek validation by appealing to men but the truth is, it’s not going to help our self-esteem. As cheesy as it sounds, we need to learn to accept, love and respect ourselves first. If you are happy in your skin and know your worth, it’s much easier to find and attract someone who will love and respect you too. Relationships might be an important part of our lives but they are not our whole lives.
@katyazamo and @Agent Cooper that's pretty much what I said to my friend and the friends who were being cool girl about it. I’m not insecure either but to feel so entitled to commodify a woman without understanding sex work and the fallacy that exists in the ‘empowerment’ trope is just… I can’t even decide on a word. It’s predatory and misogynistic and so so disappointing.
@Agent Cooper @Sandor I guess I've seen it end in tears too many times which is why I'm against it. Too many women (myself included) have the rug from pulled from under them when they discovered their partners porn addiction. In my case, my ex was subscribing to women who were one or two degrees removed from us and it was absolutely mortifying. I felt like a right mug!
Can someone browse OF with no ulterior motive? Probably. But like I say, I don't want a partner who will happily give up his time casually browsing porn (lets face it, that's what it is). I know your partner will find other people attractive and I'm fine with that, but that's where it starts and ends for me. Finding someone attractive isn't justification to go ahead and start accessing their body and everything that comes with it - and I know the OF girls are the ones putting the content out there but I expect a more from a grown man.
Can someone browse OF with no ulterior motive? Probably. But like I say, I don't want a partner who will happily give up his time casually browsing porn (lets face it, that's what it is). I know your partner will find other people attractive and I'm fine with that, but that's where it starts and ends for me. Finding someone attractive isn't justification to go ahead and start accessing their body and everything that comes with it - and I know the OF girls are the ones putting the content out there but I expect a more from a grown man.
Just had a message from this! Yeah baby ...
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Has anyone been on any dates lately?
Nope, not even spoke a guy
I’m still talking to the guy that’s not my type at alllll but I’m starting to really like him 
I’m still chatting to this guy. He called me yesterday which was completely unexpected but very nice. He is really lovely to talk to but he does mention his love language a few times and that phrase does make me want to throw up a little. He’s away this weekend but we may do something next. I haven’t been on a date in so long though I’m not sure I’d know what to do
I had my second, third and fourth date with the guy I last posted about. All going very well but he is going away on Saturday for a month so trying to not get too in the feels 
a date? *stares out window, long drag on cigarette* it’s been months since i even considered the word tbh
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