Dating after lockdown #18 Show me your c*ck and I will block

[Clickbait]

Honestly no idea! He's been consistent in his sporadic texting but when he does it's been nice ...I'm going to ponder on it the next few hours and see what I'm feeling. This dating stuff is so bloody hard!

I would say look to what your non-negotiables are from a potential partner. It seems to me that good communication should be on most people’s lists and I wonder if he fulfils this criteria for example.

Perhaps consistency is more important than frequency for you though and he may be doing this right.

Taking a more objective approach can help if you feel emotions or mixed messages are confusing your assessment.

 

[newtoyou]

message with his nan has had a fall and is in hospital.

Nooo another nan bites the dust I think I would be inclined to never believe this unless you have proof, too many poor nans have “fallen”. (Obviously not saying you should ask for proof)

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Nooo another nan bites the dust I think I would be inclined to never believe this unless you have proof, too many poor nans have “fallen”. (Obviously not saying you should ask for proof)

Loling at another nan bites the dust

 

[Belle123]

Morning ladies my dating life is starting to resemble an episode of Eastenders!
I'm hours away from joining the ' my nan has been taken to hospital ' excuse club! Mr 5'5, after a day of radio silence yesterday, responded back to my no.messages today ? message with his nan has had a fall and is in hospital. We are due to have our 2nd attempt at a coffee date tomorrow. ( He's messaged all last week saying he was looking forward to it etc)

Now he could be telling the truth? Do I wait and see if he cancels later or do I put him out of his misery by suggesting a raincheck?

I’m sorry that this guy is also not making things easy. Looks to me like you could cancel it yourself or say nothing more and watch. It may well fade out all by itself, I’m afraid. It’s not you, it’s him.

I had the whole “my Nan was unwell in the night, I’m gutted but I need to cancel the date” off a guy I was chatting to once. He’d been great up to that point, but I didn’t believe his Nan was ill. He claimed he had to go to her as he was the only one who could calm her down - clearly not even her own children, who lived much closer to her, could have that effect. What an angel he was! I feigned sympathy in case it was true, which he thanked me for blah blah blah. Lo and behold, he never contacted me again, despite him freely offering to rearrange. My conclusion was that he was either in a relationship (we’d been chatting nicely for weeks, so I’d at least been company) and he knew full well he needed a plausible reason to justify stopping short of meeting me, or he simply found someone else to date. I didn’t take it personally, wrote him off as a time wasting tosser and moved on.

Nooo another nan bites the dust I think I would be inclined to never believe this unless you have proof, too many poor nans have “fallen”. (Obviously not saying you should ask for proof)

Given my above story, this made me laugh

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

@Bagpuss7 It sounds to me like he’s laying the groundwork to cancel. I’d be cutting my losses with him and moving on to the next one. He messed you around last week when you’d arranged to meet on Wednesday and he tried to change it to Tuesday then went radio silent. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a quick coffee in the diary. He just sounds like a time waster to me.

 

[lurkingaround123]

If anyone starts going on about ill or dead relatives, friends etc I'd 100% back off. As cold as that sounds it is normally a load of rubbish. If it isn't a load of rubbish for a change, they can come back and suggest alternate dates. It is common courtesy in my opinion. If I were to ever genuinely need to cancel on someone I wanted to see again I would always suggest an alternate date, I am sure you all would too

 

[Bagpuss7]

Thank you all I've just gotten home from a nice morning out with a friend, we went to Homesense and I'm now the proud owner of some pink sparkly Easter Gonks and various other miscellaneous items I really didn't need

Mr 5'5 has left me on read since my morning message querying why his nan is having an mri ( she has broken 8 ribs and hurt her shoulder) his WhatsApp is saying he's been online so I'm done! I'm not going to message and mention the date tomorrow, in fact I'm not going to message him again unless it's out of politeness to respond to anything he might send me. He was always just a possibility and me trying to not bin men off based on height, normally 5'5 is a no for me, but if I'm being honest the fact he still hasn't said a time or place for our coffee and cake having asked me to leave it up to him to decide a place is another big indicator that he's wasting my time. Plus I've read back through our messages, apart from a few morning messages the majority are sent in the evenings - another red flag? but in my head I just thought he worked a lot of hours and I was used to the sporadic way he messaged me.

I'm not sad tbh, disappointed because him and Mr 5'7 started off soo promising. But this not the first time this has happened and won't be the last I'm sure. I'm grateful I've had you all here to talk me through things.

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine

 

[Agent Cooper]

Ray here - the feminine urge to have a new handle and all that…

Just wanted to say that I agree completely with @lurkingaround123. I’d also add that I’m personally not in a headspace to deal with such important issues as ill/dead relatives that early on. I am naturally very empathetic and work hard on setting boundaries so as not to get used as an emotional rubbish bin, and I suggest you all do the same.

I myself have just matched with a flight attendant! Our dialogue so far is him saying good afternoon, good evening and good morning in three consecutive messages. Either very desperate or very weird methinks. Will see if he has any fun stories.

 

[Radio Star]

Hi gang! I haven’t posted for a while, had some family issues and am seriously considering changing my job at the moment so had little time for OD. However, I did manage to go on a date (finally) and I felt like I just had to share.
Do you remember Mr 18 y.o.? Once he got over covid he suggested finally meeting so we went to Nando’s. I got there first and had to wait for him for about 10 minutes. Then he finally arrived, shorter than I expected but still rather handsome. Apparently he took the wrong bus and had to get off and walk instead. In fact, his face was still red from all the running when he arrived. This gave me half an ick, but I told myself not to be too hard on him.
Anyway, we got the food, I went for a double chicken burger with some fries and a coke and he said he wasn’t really hungry. He also said he was vegetarian (which he’d never mentioned before) and only got some halloumi sticks. Nothing much again, but this made me feel uneasy.
And then, as we were to start eating, he got out a small pack of Asda baby wipes and starting wiping his hands saying covid made him really germophobic. I knew that was it the moment I saw this:

I understand that’s ridiculous but I just couldn’t get over the ick. We finished the meal, and the convo was fine, but nothing too personal. In fact, he acted as if he didn’t know me at all even though we had been chatting for quite a while before the date and he was all cool, sexy and even kinda funny. I felt like he was a bit shy, but it just wasn’t quite like his online persona.
The rest of the date was okay, but it just didn’t feel like we clicked at all. No chemistry, nothing, just two strangers fumbling their ways through it. I had some errands to run later on so we parted at the bus stop. He said it was nice to meet me and went for a hug, and I kinda expected a goodbye kiss which turned out to be a peck on the cheek, and a rather awkward one at that. That is it so far, and I guess that’s... underwhelming?
I was probably expecting too much from him, so my bad, but I am a bit sad the date was never as exciting as I thought it would be. Mr 18 y.o. texted me today, so there’s still hope of a second date being better, but I don’t really know whether I should go for it.

Anyway, this is not the worst thing that could have happened and I feel really sorry for all of you who had been mistreated by these knobs or have been equally unsuccessful at dating. Spring is here, everyone, and there’s still hope! I am sure things will get better for all of us very soon.

 

[candyland_]

It’s baffling to me to read some of these ghosting stories. Just duck them off and don’t waste another second of your time wondering why they haven’t bothered their arse. The one having the surgery is a write off imo and he shouldn’t even be putting himself out there if he can’t offer more than a random text to keep you dangling.

My boyfriends grandad was rushed into hospital a few times late last year and he was constantly texting me and keeping me updated even as he rushed over to wait for the ambulance with his mum. I think he was leaning on me for support more than anything but don’t fall for lame excuses as ‘my nana fell’. It’s something they know you wouldn’t call them out on. I’ve had it before where family members have apparently died but they’ve been online the entire time only to pop up when I post a selfie or a video story. Coincidence that

 

[Radio Star]

I myself have just matched with a flight attendant! Our dialogue so far is him saying good afternoon, good evening and good morning in three consecutive messages. Either very desperate or very weird methinks. Will see if he has any fun stories.

Flight attendant sounds hot, but I kinda find it creepy when they start wishing you a good morning, a good day at work, happy Friday, a good gym session early on Maybe I’m just bitchy

 

[Agent Cooper]

Absolutely wheezing at the baby wipes story @Radio Star! I mean, I’m sorry you ended up disappointed, but it’s just too funny! I felt the same on my date when we went for a coffee and he ordered a hot chocolate Once you get the ick there is no going back, I’m afraid…Do you have any other candidates?

Flight attendant sounds hot, but I kinda find it creepy when they start wishing you a good morning, a good day at work, happy Friday, a good gym session early on Maybe I’m just bitchy

Yes, it was creepy. What’s even creepier is that he just told me he makes 700£ a month and asked for my Facebook. No thank you! He isn’t even hot judging by the pictures.

 

[Delihla]

Thank you all I've just gotten home from a nice morning out with a friend, we went to Homesense and I'm now the proud owner of some pink sparkly Easter Gonks and various other miscellaneous items I really didn't need

Mr 5'5 has left me on read since my morning message querying why his nan is having an mri ( she has broken 8 ribs and hurt her shoulder) his WhatsApp is saying he's been online so I'm done! I'm not going to message and mention the date tomorrow, in fact I'm not going to message him again unless it's out of politeness to respond to anything he might send me. He was always just a possibility and me trying to not bin men off based on height, normally 5'5 is a no for me, but if I'm being honest the fact he still hasn't said a time or place for our coffee and cake having asked me to leave it up to him to decide a place is another big indicator that he's wasting my time. Plus I've read back through our messages, apart from a few morning messages the majority are sent in the evenings - another red flag? but in my head I just thought he worked a lot of hours and I was used to the sporadic way he messaged me.

I'm not sad tbh, disappointed because him and Mr 5'7 started off soo promising. But this not the first time this has happened and won't be the last I'm sure. I'm grateful I've had you all here to talk me through things.

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine

I am sorry, as I know the thread has moved a little past this and you’ve already made your mind up, but his nana broke 8 ribs??? EIGHT??? Unless nana was in a serious car crash or is into extreme sports I’m going to say with a degree of certainty that this hasn’t happened.

 

[Bagpuss7]

Hi gang! I haven’t posted for a while, had some family issues and am seriously considering changing my job at the moment so had little time for OD. However, I did manage to go on a date (finally) and I felt like I just had to share.
Do you remember Mr 18 y.o.? Once he got over covid he suggested finally meeting so we went to Nando’s. I got there first and had to wait for him for about 10 minutes. Then he finally arrived, shorter than I expected but still rather handsome. Apparently he took the wrong bus and had to get off and walk instead. In fact, his face was still red from all the running when he arrived. This gave me half an ick, but I told myself not to be too hard on him.
Anyway, we got the food, I went for a double chicken burger with some fries and a coke and he said he wasn’t really hungry. He also said he was vegetarian (which he’d never mentioned before) and only got some halloumi sticks. Nothing much again, but this made me feel uneasy.
And then, as we were to start eating, he got out a small pack of Asda baby wipes and starting wiping his hands saying covid made him really germophobic. I knew that was it the moment I saw this:
View attachment 1110771
I understand that’s ridiculous but I just couldn’t get over the ick. We finished the meal, and the convo was fine, but nothing too personal. In fact, he acted as if he didn’t know me at all even though we had been chatting for quite a while before the date and he was all cool, sexy and even kinda funny. I felt like he was a bit shy, but it just wasn’t quite like his online persona.
The rest of the date was okay, but it just didn’t feel like we clicked at all. No chemistry, nothing, just two strangers fumbling their ways through it. I had some errands to run later on so we parted at the bus stop. He said it was nice to meet me and went for a hug, and I kinda expected a goodbye kiss which turned out to be a peck on the cheek, and a rather awkward one at that. That is it so far, and I guess that’s... underwhelming?
I was probably expecting too much from him, so my bad, but I am a bit sad the date was never as exciting as I thought it would be. Mr 18 y.o. texted me today, so there’s still hope of a second date being better, but I don’t really know whether I should go for it.

Anyway, this is not the worst thing that could have happened and I feel really sorry for all of you who had been mistreated by these knobs or have been equally unsuccessful at dating. Spring is here, everyone, and there’s still hope! I am sure things will get better for all of us very soon.

You are contemplating a 2nd date with him after all the icks ?

I am sorry, as I know the thread has moved a little past this and you’ve already made your mind up, but his nana broke 8 ribs??? EIGHT??? Unless nana was in a serious car crash or is into extreme sports I’m going to say with a degree of certainty that this hasn’t happened.

Yes and dislocated her shoulder ! I'm guessing that's why she needs an mri ?

Does anyone else use an Android phone and know how I can post screenshots ? My attach file button is white, my post reply is pale blue and my preview button is dark blue..

 

[Delihla]

Yes and dislocated her shoulder ! I'm guessing that's why she needs an mri ?

Both an x-ray and CT scan would be significantly better options than an MRI which is highly detailed ie for looking at tumours. A dislocated shoulder would also be hella low on the priorities given the risk of punctured internals. Three broken ribs would be considered possibly life threatening, but 8?? I feel he has overplayed his hand and is using terminology he has heard of and that sounds good, but he is not familiar with.

 

[unidentified]

Yes and dislocated her shoulder ! I'm guessing that's why she needs an mri ?

You don't usually get an MRI for a dislocation. I think someone is telling fibs. Where do you find these men? You seem to have as bad luck as me

 

[secretsu]

I'm a lurker here, but the "another nan bites the dust" reminded me of a guy I was seeing last year. He was a total flake who I had to chase constantly to arrange dates with and he would have vague/stupid reasons for having to cancel at the last minute.
After 2 weeks with zero contact I told him I had had enough of waiting for him (I had given up chasing at this point) I received a long message about how his world had been rocked by a close bereavement and he was so sorry for not messaging me and could I forgive him?
I felt terrible for doubting him, I told him how sorry I was was and asked who had died - it was his best mates grandfather?! As excuses go that's pretty tit .
Binned him off pretty sharpish after that!

 

[Bagpuss7]

Both an x-ray and CT scan would be significantly better options than an MRI which is highly detailed ie for looking at tumours. A dislocated shoulder would also be hella low on the priorities given the risk of punctured internals. Three broken ribs would be considered possibly life threatening, but 8?? I feel he has overplayed his hand and is using terminology he has heard of and that sounds good, but he is not familiar with.

I did wince when I read it and I'm assuming she's elderly ? But I didn't question it apart from why an mri.

I met them both on Tinder, only app I'm using at the moment. Mr 5'5 lives in the town near me so that was a positive for me as often they are miles away.. I met Mr bad breath on Tinder too!

Just wanted to add a positive, do you remember Mr Edinburgh who flew me to Scotland last year it didn't work out romantically with him but we have actually become really good friends. He was off Tinder too !

 

[lurkingaround123]

I'm a lurker here, but the "another nan bites the dust" reminded me of a guy I was seeing last year. He was a total flake who I had to chase constantly to arrange dates with and he would have vague/stupid reasons for having to cancel at the last minute.
After 2 weeks with zero contact I told him I had had enough of waiting for him (I had given up chasing at this point) I received a long message about how his world had been rocked by a close bereavement and he was so sorry for not messaging me and could I forgive him?
I felt terrible for doubting him, I told him how sorry I was was and asked who had died - it was his best mates grandfather?! As excuses go that's pretty tit .
Binned him off pretty sharpish after that!

they’re so dumb aren’t they. I had a guy once blank me for 4 days so I blocked him on WhatsApp and then on day 7 he popped up in my normal messages telling me it was his little sisters birthday so he’d had a lot on I asked what and he said going to Costco for food and being there on the day

 

[Bagpuss7]

I think we need some laughs I'm loving all the tit excuse stories!