Dating after lockdown #18 Show me your c*ck and I will block

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I found this quite a lot with dating - because I’m polite and would ask questions etc. I would carry the date and at the end I was meh whilst they had love hearts in their eyes because I’d made them feel like they were the centre of attention.

This is so true! I have this problem too, and I’m not even that extroverted. You sound like a fun and engaging person @TillyMiffin, do you think it’s possible that you just take the whole workload of the date on yourself instead of taking turns and having them do the talking? Next time maybe just try stepping back a little and see how he tries to entertain you. Have you heard of emotional labour? It explains a lot.

Mr. GES just messaged me saying he was out drinking with his friends and that he was sad I wasn’t there 🥲 I’ll buy that, I think. But what would you ladies say? Given the circumstances, chances of us meeting IRL are rather slim, unlike these of him meeting a lovely German girl back home…

 

[UndrTheCosh]

Do you think you might be flogging a dead horse with the GES, Raymond?

 

[LaBlonde]

Mr. GES just messaged me saying he was out drinking with his friends and that he was sad I wasn’t there 🥲 I’ll buy that, I think. But what would you ladies say? Given the circumstances, chances of us meeting IRL are rather slim, unlike these of him meeting a lovely German girl back home…

is he back home permanently? if so raymond then i think you might have to sadly accept that this is a maybe right guy but wrong circumstances situation. a long-distance thing is really hard and he must appreciate that when he’s saying these things to you. is there any chance of him returning to the uk?

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Do you think you might be flogging a dead horse with the GES, Raymond?

In a way, yeah 🥲 I know for sure I won’t be going to Germany anytime soon, I don’t expect him to hop on a plane just to see me either. It might have been different if we got to meet, but he had COVID and then had to rush back home.

is he back home permanently? if so raymond then i think you might have to sadly accept that this is a maybe right guy but wrong circumstances situation. a long-distance thing is really hard and he must appreciate that when he’s saying these things to you. is there any chance of him returning to the uk?

He said he will try his best to return as he is unhappy about having had to leave early, but who knows really, he might just be saying that to sweeten the pill. The political situation in Europe isn’t very promising either Obviously there is nothing long-distance as we have never seen each other in real life…but he keeps on talking about how he would like to. I mean, nothing would have made him say this if he didn’t like me? I feel like I’m just imagining things to make myself feel better at this point.

 

[TillyMiffin]

I think you’re someone who can get along with people easily, talk to them on a personal level and find ways to connect, things in common etc. Those are great qualities and things men find appealing - particularly men who might be a little more introverted and want someone else to take the lead.

I found this quite a lot with dating - because I’m polite and would ask questions etc. I would carry the date and at the end I was meh whilst they had love hearts in their eyes because I’d made them feel like they were the centre of attention.

I think I’m right in thinking you’re not looking for an introvert and you’d like someone who is a bit more extroverted or at least a better balance. Just take that forward in your future picking.

You have come on leaps and bounds since December when you somehow allowed yourself to be steamrollered into nearly letting an almost total stranger come round for Christmas! Plus you’ve bounced back from a love bomber. Learn from the negatives and if you’re not enjoying it take a break.

Ah thank you! Yes I agree, feel like a bit more myself lately and I know more about what I want. I wouldn’t get into that Christmas situation again, it was ridiculous I think I need someone a bit more like me in their personality, intelligence, humour etc. xx

 

[LaBlonde]

Ah thank you! Yes I agree, feel like a bit more myself lately and I know more about what I want. I wouldn’t get into that Christmas situation again, it was ridiculous I think I need someone a bit more like me in their personality, intelligence, humour etc. xx

it’s great that you’re feeling more yourself tilly, and that you’re setting clear expectations on what you want. clickbait is right that you’ve grown so much, i know you’ll find someone worthy

 

[TillyMiffin]

This is so true! I have this problem too, and I’m not even that extroverted. You sound like a fun and engaging person @TillyMiffin, do you think it’s possible that you just take the whole workload of the date on yourself instead of taking turns and having them do the talking? Next time maybe just try stepping back a little and see how he tries to entertain you. Have you heard of emotional labour? It explains a lot.
I haven’t but I’ll look it up. Yeah I wa

Mr. GES just messaged me saying he was out drinking with his friends and that he was sad I wasn’t there 🥲 I’ll buy that, I think. But what would you ladies say? Given the circumstances, chances of us meeting IRL are rather slim, unlike these of him meeting a lovely German girl back home…

it’s great that you’re feeling more yourself tilly, and that you’re setting clear expectations on what you want. clickbait is right that you’ve grown so much, i know you’ll find someone worthy

thank you! Like I’ve said lots of times I really value everyone’s input on here. Came to moan about Jack Monroe and found you lot!

 

[TillyMiffin]

I’ve found it. The worst dating profile EVER.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Reinstalled the apps in a fit of ‘I have nothing to lose’ optimism. Saw this beauty first thing (that’s a guy, at least according to his profile):

To my horror, I must have accidentally swiped right as he has just messaged saying hi

 

[unidentified]

This reminds me of a game I used to play with a friend. Tinder top trumps. We would each find the worse pictures/profile and then send to the other and whoever got the worst one won

 

[Belle123]

My ex messaged me first thing to check in with me that I’m ok, after no contact since we broke up a couple of weeks ago. Probably breadcrumbs, so won’t change anything. He’s still on the dating app, so I’m guessing he had a lonely moment? Who knows!

 

[unidentified]

My ex messaged me first thing to check in with me that I’m ok, after no contact since we broke up a couple of weeks ago. Probably breadcrumbs, so won’t change anything. He’s still on the dating app, so I’m guessing he had a lonely moment? Who knows!

Urgh that’s so crappy of him. Sundays are often the hungover horny moments

 

[Belle123]

Urgh that’s so crappy of him. Sundays are often the hungover horny moments

He’s not ever been like that with me, but I agree with the point generally that some are like that. I know his head’s in a mess because of his divorce, so I don’t know what he wants… but I doubt he’s testing the waters for any sincere reason.

 

[Delihla]

He’s not ever been like that with me, but I agree with the point generally that some are like that. I know his head’s in a mess because of his divorce, so I don’t know what he wants… but I doubt he’s testing the waters for any sincere reason.

Head’s in a mess because of a divorce, texting his ex…and on dating apps to drag someone else into the mess…of course

 

[Belle123]

Head’s in a mess because of a divorce, texting his ex…and on dating apps to drag someone else into the mess…of course

I know. I’m very peeved he’s learned nothing, and appears to think it’s ok to bring another innocent person into his tit

 

[princess279]

Have been lurking on this thread for a while again now, haven’t posted for a good while! Had a few meh first dates this year, decided to change up my filters, go for someone younger and not my usually type and had a good one Friday night! Cocktails, food, more drinks, few tipsy kisses and got home at 2:30 He’s planned a dinner for Wednesday night and won’t tell me where, just to meet him after work. Fingers crossed for some positive vibes this time round

 

[unidentified]

He’s not ever been like that with me, but I agree with the point generally that some are like that. I know his head’s in a mess because of his divorce, so I don’t know what he wants… but I doubt he’s testing the waters for any sincere reason.

Urgh! Why do they never learn

 

[Belle123]

Urgh! Why do they never learn

Indeed! He needs to do the work on himself and stay away from the bloody apps… but why face up to and feel your feelings (which now includes a breakup on top of the divorce) when you can bury them in meaningless interactions with strangers

 

[Wowitsme]

I’ve found it. The worst dating profile EVER.

I don’t even get the point of it. It’s more of an advert for female fighting

 

[Captainmouse]

thank you! Like I’ve said lots of times I really value everyone’s input on here. Came to moan about Jack Monroe and found you lot!

Plenty of content there!