Dating after lockdown #18 Show me your c*ck and I will block

[UndrTheCosh]

Hey lovelies, loving the new thread title! Not posted for a while & not sure if this is the right place for this- but after some advice/reassurance. TW- domestic abuse. I've had a bit of an evening of it- been at a friends & her boyfriends, had dinner & a few drinks. Somehow, a conversation about anal (!) has led to a massive argument between my friend & her bf- I've seen for a long time that he is very controlling and he doesn't like that I'm single and she's friends with me. Anyway it escalated to him texting her abusive messages whilst we were sat downstairs chatting as girls do. He said we were both slags & that I was telling her to talk to men & showing her cocks on tinder?! Because she was on whatsapp he thought she was talking to men- he checks when she's online. They then had a huge row, he started throwing stuff at her/me, I tried to calm it down, he called me a hag to my face etc & to leave the house- I obviously couldn't leave my friend at this point, and told him if he carried on I'd call police. He didn't stop so I ended up calling the police cos I didn't know what else to do. They were pretty tit tbh and didn't do much when they arrived- were gone within 5 mins as they said it was just a verbal argument. I'm now stuck in the house with them STILL arguing, and my biggest concern is that I've fucked my friendship up- he will never allow me round the house again, or her to go out with/see me, and I feel like I've trapped her even more in this abusive relationship I feel so so guilty/bad for calling the police and potentially making things worse don't know if I did the right thing and how to move forward with this now- I'm worried my friend will hate me for intervening So sorry if this an overshare!

I’m most intrigued about the anal discussion! What were you doing, discussing experiences?

Hi ladies, happy Saturday

Just got home from watching West Side story, was very good. Loved hearing the songs again. Was surprised that it was a Spielberg movie!!

Mr 5'7 update ...nothing, not a peep. He said he would text me to let me know he was ok but that hasn't happened soo not sure what to think tbh but I do think my gut instinct about him is probably correct

You’ve never met the man…move on and find someone worthy of your time.

 

[Bagpuss7]

I’m most intrigued about the anal discussion! What were you doing, discussing experiences?


You’ve never met the man…move on and find someone worthy of your time.

That's my cunning plan

 

[mehere]

Hello I’ve been lurking on this thread for the last few months as decided to take a break from dating but I’ve just got back into it!

Have a promising date lined up on Friday - but - I’m abit worried that it might only be a physical thing. We’ve had phone conversations where I don’t feel like he’s asking me anything deep to get to know me.. It’s been rather surface level. Also, I’ve always gone for funny guys and this guy seems to be a 4/10 on the humour scale as usually its me that’s making him laugh. It’s giving me flashbacks of my last relationship which was also surface level and ended because I felt like we didn’t connect emotionally. I know I’m completely over thinking this and I haven’t even met the guy (I should add he’s willing to travel two hours to come meet me), but I don’t want to waste my time getting to know him all week only to meet in person and realise we’re not compatible

 

[UndrTheCosh]

You’ll only know once you meet - go in with a positive outlook and hopefully you’ll get along well. No point overthinking before you have even met.

 

[mehere]

You’ll only know once you meet - go in with a positive outlook and hopefully you’ll get along well. No point overthinking before you have even met.

I’m trying but I had such an awful time of dating last year, I think the entire experience made me so jaded to the point I can’t get over it I’ve been really cut throat with my matches too - one hint of incompatibility or a red flag and I cut someone off.

 

[boobear191]

I’m a quiet lurker in these threads but guys… I have a situation .. a STICKY situation .

I’m really into my brothers best friend. Like, was his best man at his wedding best friend i shouldnt but f#ck!! HELP

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Hello I’ve been lurking on this thread for the last few months as decided to take a break from dating but I’ve just got back into it!

Have a promising date lined up on Friday - but - I’m abit worried that it might only be a physical thing. We’ve had phone conversations where I don’t feel like he’s asking me anything deep to get to know me.. It’s been rather surface level. Also, I’ve always gone for funny guys and this guy seems to be a 4/10 on the humour scale as usually its me that’s making him laugh. It’s giving me flashbacks of my last relationship which was also surface level and ended because I felt like we didn’t connect emotionally. I know I’m completely over thinking this and I haven’t even met the guy (I should add he’s willing to travel two hours to come meet me), but I don’t want to waste my time getting to know him all week only to meet in person and realise we’re not compatible

Hm, there is always the risk of not liking what you see in person...

Maybe you need to take more time off? If you are so critical before meeting your dates might turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy of truly being a waste of time. It doesn't sound like you are open to getting to know someone yet.
(Sorry, I dont intend to be critical of you or negative)

I’m a quiet lurker in these threads but guys… I have a situation .. a STICKY situation .

I’m really into my brothers best friend. Like, was his best man at his wedding best friend i shouldnt but f#ck!! HELP

Why shouldn't you?

Am I being petty if I block the ghost friend?

It is maybe a little petty, but would also be a missed opportunity to speak out and stand up for yourself.
Why don't you ask him why he suddenly didnt respond?

There might be a good explanation and it will all make sense, in which case you can save the friendship.
Or it might turn out that he was disrespectful to you so you can tell him it is not acceptable and that you are disappointed as you counted him as a friend. And then you can still block him if you really want to.

What do you think?

Good morning and happy Sunday

I haven't heard from the guy I am currently dating (I also need to find nicknames for my dates...) since Friday. I texted him this morning asking what he was up to today and he said he had to prepare some stuff for work tomorrow and wanted to meditate.
He asked if I wanted to do something and I responded that I also had a few things to do but fancied going outside in the afternoon for a bit and added that he sounded busy.
He responded by saying, yes, he was rather busy and then send another message saying: sorry.

Hm, I am not impressed. It is fine, I can entertain myself, but obviously note that he doesn't make me a priority.

 

[Greencatfysh]

I’m a quiet lurker in these threads but guys… I have a situation .. a STICKY situation .

I’m really into my brothers best friend. Like, was his best man at his wedding best friend i shouldnt but f#ck!! HELP

Sounds like a great way to meet a boyfriend to me!

 

[Kimmylookatme]

I’m assuming you mean your brother was the best man at this guy’s wedding and therefore he’s married rather than other way round? In which case I can see the issue haha but not if it’s the reverse!

 

[unidentified]

Well all of two messages were exchanged yesterday. He hasn’t replied to my last message. I’m really tempted to just say look if you’re not interested tell me, that’s fine. It’s so annoying giving we’d had such a great night chatting the night before.

 

[LaBlonde]

I haven't heard from the guy I am currently dating (I also need to find nicknames for my dates...) since Friday. I texted him this morning asking what he was up to today and he said he had to prepare some stuff for work tomorrow and wanted to meditate.
He asked if I wanted to do something and I responded that I also had a few things to do but fancied going outside in the afternoon for a bit and added that he sounded busy.
He responded by saying, yes, he was rather busy and then send another message saying: sorry.

Hm, I am not impressed. It is fine, I can entertain myself, but obviously note that he doesn't make me a priority.

morning! i do wonder why he asked if you wanted to do something but then said he was busy when you suggested plans (maybe they weren’t the plans he wanted?) have a lovely day however you spend it but i agree to note this down!

@mehere - don’t overthink before you’ve met him! doubt ultimately becomes a form of self-sabotage and online dating is really trying to judge whether you vibe in person like you do in messaging. if you keep talking yourself out of it (mentioning his humour isn’t for you, he doesn’t ask questions etc) then the date is a bust before you even go

@unidentified - how long have you been talking to this guy? did we establish anything more about the photo?

 

[SpindleWhorl]

Well I had my first ever date off Tinder last night went really well, he was really chatty and he said he felt a spark. We had a kiss and agreed to meet again next Saturday x

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Hello I’ve been lurking on this thread for the last few months as decided to take a break from dating but I’ve just got back into it!

Have a promising date lined up on Friday - but - I’m abit worried that it might only be a physical thing. We’ve had phone conversations where I don’t feel like he’s asking me anything deep to get to know me.. It’s been rather surface level. Also, I’ve always gone for funny guys and this guy seems to be a 4/10 on the humour scale as usually its me that’s making him laugh. It’s giving me flashbacks of my last relationship which was also surface level and ended because I felt like we didn’t connect emotionally. I know I’m completely over thinking this and I haven’t even met the guy (I should add he’s willing to travel two hours to come meet me), but I don’t want to waste my time getting to know him all week only to meet in person and realise we’re not compatible

As someone who had a terrible first (and last) date a couple of weeks ago, I’m glad I did because it helped me realise we are absolutely not compatible and stop wasting my time on him. Just go and don’t expect anything. If you get along, great, if you don’t, you will just know he is not the right one for you and not have the “what if” mindset later, which you might if you don’t go on this date. Good luck!

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

morning! i do wonder why he asked if you wanted to do something but then said he was busy when you suggested plans (maybe they weren’t the plans he wanted?) have a lovely day however you spend it but i agree to note this down!

You might be onto something, Ms Marple

He asked "did you want to do something" and I said I wanted to spend some time outside in the afternoon. Then he said he was "rather busy".

It was the same last week, when he also said he had things to do at home and he also asked "did you want to do something" and I said I had a nice bottle of wine at home and then he said he would come over in the evening.... Hmmmmm......

I also hadn't been to his yet as he said it was a bit "untidy". Also strange. I have known him for three weeks now, more than enough time to tidy up.
Hmmmm......

You know what I will do tonight? I will spend a couple of hours on my writing! Curious to see if I still manage to be creative.

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Well I had my first ever date off Tinder last night went really well, he was really chatty and he said he felt a spark. We had a kiss and agreed to meet again next Saturday x

Can we have more details? Where did you go, what did you do etc … I love hearing about good first dates!

 

[LaBlonde]

You might be onto something, Ms Marple

He asked "did you want to do something" and I said I wanted to spend some time outside in the afternoon. Then he said he was "rather busy".

It was the same last week, when he also said he had things to do at home and he also asked "did you want to do something" and I said I had a nice bottle of wine at home and then he said he would come over in the evening.... Hmmmmm......

I also hadn't been to his yet as he said it was a bit "untidy". Also strange. I have known him for three weeks now, more than enough time to tidy up.
Hmmmm......

You know what I will do tonight? I will spend a couple of hours on my writing! Curious to see if I still manage to be creative.

urgh - somehow i suspect that if you’d said “yes, come over” he would have magically not been busy and how long can things be “untidy”?! there’s plenty of time to sort that out by now!

that sounds like a wonderful plan! creativity never goes away, you’ll get right back into it. enjoy

 

[Bagpuss7]

urgh - somehow i suspect that if you’d said “yes, come over” he would have magically not been busy and how long can things be “untidy”?! there’s plenty of time to sort that out by now!

that sounds like a wonderful plan! creativity never goes away, you’ll get right back into it. enjoy

I'm with @LaBlonde on this one. He's sounding like one of the ones that will always be unavailable unless it involves 'coming over'. Might be worth testing the waters and seeing if that's the case. Those kind of low effort relationships only work if you are both on the same page.

 

[unidentified]

@LaBlonde we had only been chatting a couple of days so he doesn’t owe me anything. I never normally give my number out but conversation had seemed so easy. Then nothing. Haven’t been able to ask about the photo. I’m disappointed

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

urgh - somehow i suspect that if you’d said “yes, come over” he would have magically not been busy and how long can things be “untidy”?! there’s plenty of time to sort that out by now!

that sounds like a wonderful plan! creativity never goes away, you’ll get right back into it. enjoy

I'm with @LaBlonde on this one. He's sounding like one of the ones that will always be unavailable unless it involves 'coming over'. Might be worth testing the waters and seeing if that's the case. Those kind of low effort relationships only work if you are both on the same page.

Yes, I will try to find out what this is all about then then report back.

Luckily I don't feel too attached so I am not hurt by this behaviour... Maybe I already "smelled him out" last time!

 

[LaBlonde]

@LaBlonde we had only been chatting a couple of days so he doesn’t owe me anything. I never normally give my number out but conversation had seemed so easy. Then nothing. Haven’t been able to ask about the photo. I’m disappointed

it’s understandable you’re disappointed - especially when you’d obviously enjoyed chatting (apologies for asking, i couldn’t recall how long it had been!) it’s the ones that you get hopeful about that hurt. hope you’re okay, there will be more out there for you, hopefully without suspicious whatsapp photos x