Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[ATV2021]

Definitely! I have gone from having conversations with men who don't drive and live with their parents who ask to come to mine instead of out somewhere, even though thats what I wanted. My warped thoughts told me that if he likes me in mine he can ask me out after that which is actually laughable looking back! Now I am being asked on dates by doctors, dentists and men in the navy

Oh god, what a situation!! Some men are really just awful aren't they

Whats everyones opinion on leaving a bad date early? If someone was giving you bad vibes would you tell them that and leave, sneak out or just hold it out? In the past I have just rode it out but I don't see myself doing that anymore

I have just buggered off before because I wasn't getting good vibes at all. Luckily there was an exit by the toilet so I escaped. He then had the cheek to text me later saying he didn't think it would work

 

[lurkingaround123]

I have just buggered off before because I wasn't getting good vibes at all. Luckily there was an exit by the toilet so I escaped. He then had the cheek to text me later saying he didn't think it would work

HAHAHAHA I love when you reject a man/let them down gently and then they go off on a big tangent about how they were gonna finish you anyway and you're X Y and Z so it wouldn't work out for them. Okay mate sure

 

[Clickbait]

Whats everyones opinion on leaving a bad date early? If someone was giving you bad vibes would you tell them that and leave, sneak out or just hold it out? In the past I have just rode it out but I don't see myself doing that anymore

I would normally just be honest. I tended to try and buy the first drink if I knew I didn’t fancy them so that I could leave after a drink and not have them feeling they were out of pocket. One guy who I remember worked as an actor at the London Dungeons turned up 20 mins late despite the fact that I’d come into central London to meet him near work.

I’d made an effort - expensive dress, perfume, curled my hair, put on make-up and he looked like he’d put on clothes you reserve for doing the gardening/taking rubbish to the dump.

I’d bought a bottle of wine so stayed for the length of time it took to drink it and asked him questions about himself. Once the wine had gone I got up and said ‘it was nice to meet you, have a good evening’ and he looked aghast and said ‘why are you leaving so soon?’ I said ‘OK, I’ll stay for another drink if you can tell me one thing you’ve learned about me since you got here this evening.’ Silence.

 

[ATV2021]

HAHAHAHA I love when you reject a man/let them down gently and then they go off on a big tangent about how they were gonna finish you anyway and you're X Y and Z so it wouldn't work out for them. Okay mate sure

It did make me lol and also pissed me off a bit like OH as if he got the last word in this when I bleeping LEFT . I was like 19 at the time and it was absolute silence and u gave up trying to make conversation and just departed....quickly lol

I would normally just be honest. I tended to try and buy the first drink if I knew I didn’t fancy them so that I could leave after a drink and not have them feeling they were out of pocket. One guy who I remember worked as an actor at the London Dungeons turned up 20 mins late despite the fact that I’d come into central London to meet him near work.

I’d made an effort - expensive dress, perfume, curled my hair, put on make-up and he looked like he’d put on clothes you reserve for doing the gardening/taking rubbish to the dump.

I’d bought a bottle of wine so stayed for the length of time it took to drink it and asked him questions about himself. Once the wine had gone I got up and said ‘it was nice to meet you, have a good evening’ and he looked aghast and said ‘why are you leaving so soon?’ I said ‘OK, I’ll stay for another drink if you can tell me one thing you’ve learned about me since you got here this evening.’ Silence.

Oh thats a great line at the end there. I'll keep that in my bad witch bank

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Smells like he was hoping for a leg over this weekend then! Lol

You sound like @BunnyLebowski also, Bunny hope you are doing ok

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I messed up. I listened to advice but my brain is in overdrive. I know you all said bald guy did me a favour but the feeling that I did something wrong was haunting me. I replayed the last messages and him popping up in my mind all the time since last week. to the point where even though i tried to keep busy it was driving my brain into overdrive. I don’t have work today so dressed up and went to my shopping centre this morning but even still my brain was still going. All I wanted to know was why he blocked me so I called him at 1, He answered and said hello, I then said hi its me and he put the phone down immediately. He doesn’t even know what I want to say. I just want to know what I did wrong so I won’t do it again or at least just an answer that would help me.
I already feel really silly but I really can’t say this to my friends or my mother out loud. I’m sorry gang. I really am.
my anxiety is through the roof and my birthday is soon which is triggering it.

 

[Wowitsme]

I messed up. I listened to advice but my brain is in overdrive. I know you all said bald guy did me a favour but the feeling that I did something wrong was haunting me. I replayed the last messages and him popping up in my mind all the time since last week. to the point where even though i tried to keep busy it was driving my brain into overdrive. I don’t have work today so dressed up and went to my shopping centre this morning but even still my brain was still going. All I wanted to know was why he blocked me so I called him at 1, He answered and said hello, I then said hi its me and he put the phone down immediately. He doesn’t even know what I want to say. I just want to know what I did wrong so I won’t do it again or at least just an answer that would help me.
I already feel really silly but I really can’t say this to my friends or my mother out loud. I’m sorry gang. I really am.
my anxiety is through the roof and my birthday is soon which is triggering it.

I would just let it go, nothing he will say will help and sometimes no closure is closure. Some people are just not nice people it’s nothing you did they are just not worthy of your time.

 

[drewydrop]

@realhousewivewannabe Please don’t beat yourself about it. You did what you felt you needed to in that time so you have nothing to feel silly about. He’s a grown man and can’t even an adult conversation with you so forget him. Also just because he’s being like this and doesn’t want a relationship with you doesn’t mean you did anything wrong so don’t be going to him for answers. I’m sure you probably don’t want him anyway, it’s the classic the more someone ignores you, the more you want them, especially if you’re feeling a bit lonely.

As crappy as it feels take this is a lesson, delete his number and try and move on. I only usually lurk but isn’t he the onethat didn’t want children as he already has them? So reframe it. He’s not what you want, you won’t have the future you want with him so forget him and focus on you.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I messed up. I listened to advice but my brain is in overdrive. I know you all said bald guy did me a favour but the feeling that I did something wrong was haunting me. I replayed the last messages and him popping up in my mind all the time since last week. to the point where even though i tried to keep busy it was driving my brain into overdrive. I don’t have work today so dressed up and went to my shopping centre this morning but even still my brain was still going. All I wanted to know was why he blocked me so I called him at 1, He answered and said hello, I then said hi its me and he put the phone down immediately. He doesn’t even know what I want to say. I just want to know what I did wrong so I won’t do it again or at least just an answer that would help me.
I already feel really silly but I really can’t say this to my friends or my mother out loud. I’m sorry gang. I really am.
my anxiety is through the roof and my birthday is soon which is triggering it.

I think his behaviour is more a reflection of what he did, rather than what you did.

He lead you on and then let you down and this wasn't very nice behaviour - especially given the difference in age and life experience.
My guess is he didn't want to face his poor behaviour towards you and maybe feared that you would give him grief.

I am sorry that you have to experience this, it is not an easy situation and of course will impact you emotionally.
The only suggestion I have is self-care and maybe speaking to a therapist, but I also appreciate that this advice is not very original.

 

[BunnyLebowski]

You sound like @BunnyLebowski also, Bunny hope you are doing ok

Hey! I’m good. Been at my parents for a couple of days for a funeral….it’s ok, she was 94 and a complete cow. Still loads of free champagne and it was nice to be around people who love me…ie my parents .

I’m going to my local pub tonight but will chat more later. Got a date on Sunday and Tuesday next week but I’m not particularly hopeful for either of them….it’s more just something different to do.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I messed up. I listened to advice but my brain is in overdrive. I know you all said bald guy did me a favour but the feeling that I did something wrong was haunting me. I replayed the last messages and him popping up in my mind all the time since last week. to the point where even though i tried to keep busy it was driving my brain into overdrive. I don’t have work today so dressed up and went to my shopping centre this morning but even still my brain was still going. All I wanted to know was why he blocked me so I called him at 1, He answered and said hello, I then said hi its me and he put the phone down immediately. He doesn’t even know what I want to say. I just want to know what I did wrong so I won’t do it again or at least just an answer that would help me.
I already feel really silly but I really can’t say this to my friends or my mother out loud. I’m sorry gang. I really am.
my anxiety is through the roof and my birthday is soon which is triggering it.

I really feel for you, I have been there. We can all tell you to just leave things, forget about him or move on.
You reached out and he didn't want to talk. I imagine he was in some other woman's company.
I think you need to focus on how he has treated you and how rude he was to hang up on you or block you.
If you're going to be upset or down about it, allow yourself this weekend to feel tit. Come on here, talk to us, we will listen. But enough with the contacting, don't allow him to think you are some sad woman chasing after him.

 

[ATV2021]

I messed up. I listened to advice but my brain is in overdrive. I know you all said bald guy did me a favour but the feeling that I did something wrong was haunting me. I replayed the last messages and him popping up in my mind all the time since last week. to the point where even though i tried to keep busy it was driving my brain into overdrive. I don’t have work today so dressed up and went to my shopping centre this morning but even still my brain was still going. All I wanted to know was why he blocked me so I called him at 1, He answered and said hello, I then said hi its me and he put the phone down immediately. He doesn’t even know what I want to say. I just want to know what I did wrong so I won’t do it again or at least just an answer that would help me.
I already feel really silly but I really can’t say this to my friends or my mother out loud. I’m sorry gang. I really am.
my anxiety is through the roof and my birthday is soon which is triggering it.

Oh bless you please block him and delete all contact for your own wellbeing. That way he can't come crawling back on a whim when he wants something in the future, thinking that he can and it will make you feel even worse. You're worth SO much more than this guy and please keep telling yourself this every day even if you don't believe it .

Please trust me when I say you did NOTHING wrong here. You may not believe it now but its true. His message is clear and you may never get the answer you want from him so give it to yourself, forgive & forget and move on. The only person this is hurting is you and he's not worth it from what you've shared at all!

Get onto the naughty November challenge, still a few days left (live tonight at half 7) and you can catch all the replays too and I promise you'll feel a bit better. It's a wonderful, uplifting group of amazing women too

 

[candyland_]

I messed up. I listened to advice but my brain is in overdrive. I know you all said bald guy did me a favour but the feeling that I did something wrong was haunting me. I replayed the last messages and him popping up in my mind all the time since last week. to the point where even though i tried to keep busy it was driving my brain into overdrive. I don’t have work today so dressed up and went to my shopping centre this morning but even still my brain was still going. All I wanted to know was why he blocked me so I called him at 1, He answered and said hello, I then said hi its me and he put the phone down immediately. He doesn’t even know what I want to say. I just want to know what I did wrong so I won’t do it again or at least just an answer that would help me.
I already feel really silly but I really can’t say this to my friends or my mother out loud. I’m sorry gang. I really am.
my anxiety is through the roof and my birthday is soon which is triggering it.

There is nothing wrong with you - at all. Nothing! He is a bleep and hes the problem the old baldy duck.

 

[ATV2021]

@realhousewivewannabe the masterclass is on Monday (if not feeling the whole bootcamp) and you can sign up here :

https://www.getyoursoulmate.com/free-masterclass

 

[NoseyNiamh]

@realhousewivewannabe the masterclass is on Monday (if not feeling the whole bootcamp) and you can sign up here :

https://www.getyoursoulmate.com/free-masterclass

How many of these kind of things are you signed up to ?

 

[ATV2021]

How many of these kind of things are you signed up to ?

That's still Persia's lol just her Monday standalone workshop thing. Only done hers and Noors. The others were shite

 

[Sprottish]

I messed up. I listened to advice but my brain is in overdrive. I know you all said bald guy did me a favour but the feeling that I did something wrong was haunting me. I replayed the last messages and him popping up in my mind all the time since last week. to the point where even though i tried to keep busy it was driving my brain into overdrive. I don’t have work today so dressed up and went to my shopping centre this morning but even still my brain was still going. All I wanted to know was why he blocked me so I called him at 1, He answered and said hello, I then said hi its me and he put the phone down immediately. He doesn’t even know what I want to say. I just want to know what I did wrong so I won’t do it again or at least just an answer that would help me.
I already feel really silly but I really can’t say this to my friends or my mother out loud. I’m sorry gang. I really am.
my anxiety is through the roof and my birthday is soon which is triggering it.

Sounds like we have ALL been there! I can totally sympathise with the incessant thoughts spinning round your head even when you take all the advice to distract yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t mess up. It was just the final nail in the coffin that this guy isn’t worth your stress (honestly I know this is easy to say).

Think back to previous situations where you’ve been besotted with someone. My god I honestly was concerned that I was unhinged at one point because I was COMPLETELY and utterly obsessed with a guy I worked with and had a brief thing with. I’d do anything to cross his path. He gave me the brush off and I was devastated and cried for days. In fact I’m pretty sure I wrote about it on here (this will be a good 12+ months ago).

Now? He’s with another girl I work with. I sit opposite him (this would have been a dream come true a year ago) and I honestly couldn’t care less.

you WILL feel better and you will look back one day and wonder why you let yourself get so worked up about it.Give yourself a break though and let yourself be sad. I find the best point of moving on is when you accept that you won’t hear from them again. When you’re not checking your phone every 3 minutes praying they’ve messaged. It’s such a shift in mindset. (Let’s not go into the fact they usually crawl back our the woodwork just as you’ve accepted they’re not going to…..)

lots of love xx

 

[Sheabutter]

Ladies, I need your help. My neighbor left me a note asking me out next Thursday for what sounds like a nice date of cocktails and live music. I’m not interested in him. Please help me write a text that doesn’t hurt his feelings! I’m awkward af

 

[ATV2021]

Ladies, I need your help. My neighbor left me a note asking me out next Thursday for what sounds like a nice date of cocktails and live music. I’m not interested in him. Please help me write a text that doesn’t hurt his feelings! I’m awkward af

Ah this is a tough situation but the best thing to do is to be honest and to the point. Just kindly say you're just not interested and own your no.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Ladies, I need your help. My neighbor left me a note asking me out next Thursday for what sounds like a nice date of cocktails and live music. I’m not interested in him. Please help me write a text that doesn’t hurt his feelings! I’m awkward af

Not sure if it was you ? Did you initially like him but think he had a girlfriend?