Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season š
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Let's move on from this topic as it's been said and getting disruptive - Please read our rules and why they're important
Deep breaths everyone 
I'm ignoring it all now and as bagpuss said, no rehashing! Not letting nothing bring down my vibesDeep breaths everyone
Had a disco nap earlier and now I am SO awake I'm browsing ebay, which is a dangerous game lol
Damn what did I miss this time? 
Dating in a nutshell
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Hey Neighbour, Thank you so much for the kind invitation. This sounds like a fun evening and I am very flattered that you thought of me. I do am not available for any dates though, and therefore must decline your invitation. I hope you will have the opportunity to ask someone else to join and have a wonderful evening. Have a great weekend, Your Neighbour
This is just what I was looking for. Thank you
How well have you actually known him up till then?
If I had any part in making think you did something wrong towards him then I apologise. My wanting you to take responsibility was to see he showed you who he was, he behaved badly and hypocritically before he blocked you when you didnāt agree to send naked photos or have sex with him, and you still kept engaging with him for more confusion, hurt and upset.
I donāt understand why you would automatically jump to the conclusion that you did something wrong, and God forbid that you would need to apologise or learn from him what it was. He is the one in the wrong here and he bloody well knows it hence blocking you. I donāt even know you darling, but if I met his man in the street I would tear him a new one for the way heās behaved towards you.
I do understand that attachments arenāt always logical though, women can still be in love with their abusers although I would wager itās a fearful coercive love that they feel they canāt escape from.
I donāt think youāll get the truthful answers from him youāre searching for because his honest answer will show him up to be a lying, sleazy sex pest and heād rather not admit that because he wants to believe he is Mr. Nice Guy who holds car doors open and gives people hoodies when theyāre cold.
He may have moments where he is charming but I wouldnāt say theyāre altruistic acts - heās playing a character. The other side of the coin is someone who messages you when he hopes youāre a little drunk and your guard might be down to flatter you and get you to send photos of your naked body. Is that the behaviour of a respectful Prince Charming?
Please try and change the narrative on this ālove storyā even if it means you realise you were taken in by him. We have all been taken in by sweet words and token gestures and ignored the actions.
I hope you feel better about it soon and have a fabulous birthday! You are so young, you wonāt get this time back - please try and enjoy it and not let an opportunity to party (particularly after the last few months) go to waste. Sending a virtual hug x
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Always beautifully said
Also @realhousewivewannabe do something amazing for you on your birthday I used to expect so much from others and it never materialised (and I'd be giving so much on theirs like planning things etc) so as of 2022 I'm not. I've planned to take myself to The Ritz for afternoon tea and then a weekend to either Portugal or Majorca and I'll have a bloody amazing time (even if I'm scared but hey I did NYC alone so I'm sure Spain will be fine
). Tell yourself daily that you're amazing because you are @Thank(space)you how have you found the NN week?
OK so I haven't had a great weekend and I have been thinking about my ex the narc and I have been feeling sad that he is happy with his new partner. He still messages me from time to time to say he misses me yet he is still with her.
I know who she is so I had a look at her social media and I ended up going down a rabbit hole.
The narc told me she just split up from her partner the end of last year but was still living with him.
But i stumbled on to the ex social media and, wait for it!! There's lots of recent pics with her and him looking very loved up.
The narc stays away from social media so wouldn't know this .
I'm in shock. The narc thinks he is so smart yet she is completely playing him.
I know who she is so I had a look at her social media and I ended up going down a rabbit hole.
The narc told me she just split up from her partner the end of last year but was still living with him.
But i stumbled on to the ex social media and, wait for it!! There's lots of recent pics with her and him looking very loved up.
The narc stays away from social media so wouldn't know this .
I'm in shock. The narc thinks he is so smart yet she is completely playing him.
Could it not be that she is back with her ex?
Sorry you are feeling sad. How do you know he is happy with the new partner? Does he tell you? If so that is insensitive and cruel. Heās also playing mind games telling you he misses you.
Iāve been in a situation where someone I really liked had a gf but he would tell me he loved me. It was horribly confusing.
Some of the dates of the pics matched the period the narc was with her .
The day she contacted me to say she was seeing the narc and she felt I should know about it , there was a pic of her and her ex taken the day before and others just a couple of weeks later.
The narc messaged me last week about some business we have to sort out (finances) and he mentioned he was still with her but things were rocky.
Oh i know all this, he knows how to play me so well. In my head I think they are happy but he has said they are going through a rocky patch so obviously not that happy.
He's horrible, I know that. But I think it was so mean for her to contact me to tell me all about her and the narc when she knew she was hurting me (she went into way too much detail) yet she had a boyfriend all along. I just knew there was something not right about her. I remember telling the narc that I wouldn't be there this time when it ended but I also warned him that she was going to hurt him. He laughed and said no one could ever do that to him
Sorry, I know I sound like a ridiculous teenager.
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So do you know this woman? Or she found out your name from him and decided to contact you as his ex to let you know they were now dating? For what purpose? To act as a āback off witchā or to tell you because she was worried he would try and see you both?
She sounds as twisted as he is. They suit each other.
When you say you told him you wouldnāt be there this time when it ended what do you mean? That you split up before because he decided the grass was greener and then you took him back?
I know youāre still in touch for financial reasons but is there any way you could get a third party to deal with that for you? I really think having any contact with him including receiving his āmiss youā texts is a bad idea.
Me and him had an odd 'relationship' that I can't really explain properly. I vaguely knew about her from him but when she contacted me I was still seeing him. She made out she was contacting me because she was concerned I would get hurt but by then end of the conversation it was clear it was a back off witch warning.
I told him I wouldn't be there for him this time when it ends because were were in each others lives for over 4 years and there was other people but we always ended up back with each other.
He was a narcissist and he broke me d
so many times but we did share some crappy connection that meant we always ended up together again. So toxic!
The financial thing is due to be settled in two weeks, so after that I am cutting all ties.
Her boyfriend seems to work away most of the time, so that's probably how she gets to see the narc.
Imagine she purposely set out to hurt me just so she could have a bit of fun with the narc. I'm in shock someone could do that. I know the narc is at fault. But her behaviour has really got to me.
I told him I wouldn't be there for him this time when it ends because were were in each others lives for over 4 years and there was other people but we always ended up back with each other.
He was a narcissist and he broke me d
so many times but we did share some crappy connection that meant we always ended up together again. So toxic!
The financial thing is due to be settled in two weeks, so after that I am cutting all ties.
Her boyfriend seems to work away most of the time, so that's probably how she gets to see the narc.
Imagine she purposely set out to hurt me just so she could have a bit of fun with the narc. I'm in shock someone could do that. I know the narc is at fault. But her behaviour has really got to me.
Dangerous game darling. I had to cut ties with my narc exā¦.yeah it took me 5 years of on / off. It hurts like duck but right now I do not need to know who heās seeing or what heās doing. I mean obvs yeah, Iād give away
my dignity for one more nightā¦.but NO. JUST NO. Iād like to say that Iāve got to the place where Iād rather be happier on my own..I wont lie, Iām not there yet. But I will beā¦
The thing is, I know if I called him he would be here in no time, he has made that clear.Dangerous game darling. I had to cut ties with my narc exā¦.yeah it took me 5 years of on / off. It hurts like duck but right now I do not need to know who heās seeing or what heās doing. I mean obvs yeah, Iād give away
my dignity for one more nightā¦.but NO. JUST NO. Iād like to say that Iāve got to the place where Iād rather be happier on my own..I wont lie, Iām not there yet. But I will beā¦
But I know he is with the new girl because she is much younger and he decided he now wants a kid which is not something I can do.
It's all messed and if I'm honest I am glad I am away from it all.
But he does suffer with mental health issues and I think something like this could really affect him so of course I am worried about him now.
What a night
Sorry lovely people, I will be fine tomorrow- Status