If he got the excel/Kelly Rowland reference I would happily hand him my heartI just joined in with his bants and said do you want me to message you on Microsoft excel for true 90s rnb video vibes and he got the referenceI’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Because I was ready but I’d eaten it would make things awkward if I did go because we planned to eat so I assume he’d be hungry.
i was trying to avoid my usual people pleasing ways so I thought it best to not go today, as it’d show I don’t have a boundary in terms of plan making, and that I’m happy to be kept on the edge which I am definitely not. Sunday is a reasonable amount of time away I suppose to judge the situation from how we message.
At the time it was weird but instead of them anxious butterflies or ‘spark’ I normally get with fuckboys, my mentality was firmly that I deserve better. Now following his explanation all I can do is give the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn’t do anything else weird
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I've been a lurker for ages. I've gotten out of a long term relationship that was bad for a long time. Anyway met a guy on Tinder and we really got along,spoke for 3 days and then had a late night and impromptu meet up last Wednesday and had sex. We then met up Saturday and slept together again and Sunday we went for a walk,had lunch out together and the inevitable sex. Do I sound like a slapper?
We get on so well. Have loads in common. Like freakishly so
the only problem is it feels like I'm always the one that instigates seeing eachother because the sex is off the scale good 
Do you guys think I should let him ask first? (To be fair to him,he did as about Sunday) I find myself holding back from making plans with friends because I want to see him but think it would be good to make him think I'm not bothered?
We get on so well. Have loads in common. Like freakishly so
the only problem is it feels like I'm always the one that instigates seeing eachother because the sex is off the scale good Do you guys think I should let him ask first? (To be fair to him,he did as about Sunday) I find myself holding back from making plans with friends because I want to see him but think it would be good to make him think I'm not bothered?
If you’ve met 3 times and one of those times he suggested it, it doesn’t seem like it’s a problem? Are you perhaps looking for a bit more of a romantic, structured date where he makes the plans and asks you out?I've been a lurker for ages. I've gotten out of a long term relationship that was bad for a long time. Anyway met a guy on Tinder and we really got along,spoke for 3 days and then had a late night and impromptu meet up last Wednesday and had sex. We then met up Saturday and slept together again and Sunday we went for a walk,had lunch out together and the inevitable sex. Do I sound like a slapper?
We get on so well. Have loads in common. Like freakishly so
There is nothing to say that it can’t happen, although in my experience men prefer to go with the flow and make less effort post the guaranteed sex phase
Honestly, I would say make plans with your friends - it is good to not be too available at the start. It shows you have a life outside of him which will stop him freaking out should it start to feel it’s getting too serious too quickly.
Feel a bit disappointed today, Swiss guy wants to visit in SPRING which is so far away and suggests he can't be that into me really.
Hi ho, it's back on Bumble I goooo!
Hi ho, it's back on Bumble I goooo!
Firstly, no you’re not a slapper. Women can have sex for sexs’ sake. First date sex is absolutely ok just like not having first date sex is ok too.I've been a lurker for ages. I've gotten out of a long term relationship that was bad for a long time. Anyway met a guy on Tinder and we really got along,spoke for 3 days and then had a late night and impromptu meet up last Wednesday and had sex. We then met up Saturday and slept together again and Sunday we went for a walk,had lunch out together and the inevitable sex. Do I sound like a slapper?
We get on so well. Have loads in common. Like freakishly so
secondly, I tend to instigate all the plans with the person I’m seeing but he’s trying to be respectful of the fact I’ve got a child and my times a bit weird at the moment until I move and do 50/50 with my ex. However, if I say ‘hey, I’m child free on x or from y to x’ he’ll turn around and say ‘cool, let’s do this…’ and if I invite him out/to mine etc he always says yes and never flakes. So while in a perfect world it would be nice for him to ask as it would indicate he’s missed me and wants to see me, his actions show it anyway.
My only caution for you is to see this as fun and not get too ahead of yourself in terms of the future - you’ve come out of a bad breakup so embrace the fun and the here and now.
But don’t you dare judge yourself for having that fun in the here and now either!
Yeah I guess you are right. I am an over thinker. In some ways I would like a bit more of a structured date yeah,so it's about more than just the sex. I really want to have sex with him obviously but don't want to seem to availableIf you’ve met 3 times and one of those times he suggested it, it doesn’t seem like it’s a problem? Are you perhaps looking for a bit more of a romantic, structured date where he makes the plans and asks you out?
There is nothing to say that it can’t happen, although in my experience men prefer to go with the flow and make less effort post the guaranteed sex phase
Honestly, I would say make plans with your friends - it is good to not be too available at the start. It shows you have a life outside of him which will stop him freaking out should it start to feel it’s getting too serious too quickly.
I have now arranged to go to the Cinema on Sunday night with a friend. I think that if he doesn't mention or ask to see me at the weekend by Wednesday/Thursday I might just say I am busy all weekend, because as you say he might not make the effort as he knows I'm keen to see him.
Thanks for the advice
That was great advice and you have a good plan there. You are defo not a slapper…..I’m jealous .
I have a date tonight. We have FaceTimed so I know he’s legit. He’s driving 1 and a half hours to meet me and he’s not drinking. I said….that’s a hell of a lot of effort for not much fun. He said, if we get on we can arrange drinks another time.
He‘s very attractive but he’s 54 so he might be desperate!
.I have a date tonight. We have FaceTimed so I know he’s legit. He’s driving 1 and a half hours to meet me and he’s not drinking. I said….that’s a hell of a lot of effort for not much fun. He said, if we get on we can arrange drinks another time.
He‘s very attractive but he’s 54 so he might be desperate!
Honestly before him I had had one sexual partner. Then with my ex I didn't have sex for a year and now in less than a week I've become some kind of sexual vixen! Honestly it's bleeping amazing the connection we have. You know when you are just near someone and you can feel it?That was great advice and you have a good plan there. You are defo not a slapper…..I’m jealous
I have a date tonight. We have FaceTimed so I know he’s legit. He’s driving 1 and a half hours to meet me and he’s not drinking. I said….that’s a hell of a lot of effort for not much fun. He said, if we get on we can arrange drinks another time.
He‘s very attractive but he’s 54 so he might be desperate!
TMI but we went for a walk and explored some bunkers and the tension when we where in there
I'm sure you are a gorgeous woman! If he was desperate he could find someone more local? Just see how it goes. Good luck! I hope you have a wonderful time
Does he live quite far away Bunny? Might that be a problem if things progressed in terms of time to spend together? I wouldn’t worry about him not having fun - he’ll be meeting you, that is reward enough for the journey! Also some people prefer not to drink on datesThat was great advice and you have a good plan there. You are defo not a slapper…..I’m jealous
I have a date tonight. We have FaceTimed so I know he’s legit. He’s driving 1 and a half hours to meet me and he’s not drinking. I said….that’s a hell of a lot of effort for not much fun. He said, if we get on we can arrange drinks another time.
He‘s very attractive but he’s 54 so he might be desperate!
and actively seek out non-drinking activities (not for me!) Hope it goes well, you deserve someone decent after the last few
ends xThanks darling. Anyway, he’s just messaged saying there‘s been a duck up at work and he’s gonna be working late, so please can he reschedule to Thursday or Friday…..hmmm what do we think? Plausible I suppose.
People! I need help. This isn’t dating but it involves my ex and I don’t know what to do. I’ve mentioned him on here before. Toxic relationship and fucked me up in so many ways. We have a child together so I’ve never been able to break away from him. Anyway, he’s with someone else - they’re buying a house together and she’s having his baby in February. He’s just sent me this. I want no part of it or him but I want to tell her. Should I? 
Ignore it or say something along the lines of you have broken up, both moved on and you will only talk to him about your child.People! I need help. This isn’t dating but it involves my ex and I don’t know what to do. I’ve mentioned him on here before. Toxic relationship and fucked me up in so many ways. We have a child together so I’ve never been able to break away from him. Anyway, he’s with someone else - they’re buying a house together and she’s having his baby in February. He’s just sent me this. I want no part of it or him but I want to tell her. Should I?
Why stress her out? It’s not the time.
He’s obviously just got a touch of cold feet and trying to run back to what he knows, he would only get back into your head and then run back to her.
I don’t want to stress her out. At all. Woman to woman though. No?! I had messages from an ex of his when I was 5 months pregnant predicting what he would do. I wish I’d taken heed. Bloody head so he is.
Oh that’s infuriated me! He’s written it as if he’s being entirely reasonable 
Don’t open the can of worms by telling her - just make your boundaries clear. Even a simple ‘This is entirely inappropriate’ would be enough - shutting it down without giving him anything he can use against you.
Don’t open the can of worms by telling her - just make your boundaries clear. Even a simple ‘This is entirely inappropriate’ would be enough - shutting it down without giving him anything he can use against you.
I’d tell her. I’d want to know if it was me.
Why am I worrying about being harsh?!?!
That's classic negging right there. Making you feel as if your complaints aren't vaild and you're overreacting.Waaah I have such a weird situation!
I had a date arranged with a guy this evening, we’ve been speaking today but the conversation ended like this. (For context we’ve realised we both live in the same apartment building, but I’m not wildly taken aback by how it’s ran and I also didn’t want to steal the tv stand to take to my new house)
How confusing! I know i could’ve messaged and asked what time or where etc, but I am not going to because I think it’s common courtesy if you invite someone out, that you do that part. It doesn’t matter to me if we don’t speak again, I guess I’m just posting to say is this normal behaviour?
I’m annoyed because I’ve been out of the house all day at work and then I was dealing with a gas issue at my new house and I still managed to come back home and put a bit of make up on. I also didn’t buy any food because we were meant to go for a meal so now I’ve just sat eating beans on toast with my full face of slap on
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Sorry I am being very nosey, but why do you have a phone for him?
Because he was abusive in texts etc. so I had a separate phone/email etc. for him to contact me, it was a way of maintaining boundaries. I’ve only just unblocked him after a year on my main phone (I sound like a drug dealer!) as things had been consistently settled.
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