I suppose it's like you want a friendship that grows? That's what I want I thinkThis sounds lovely. I’d think this was a ‘spark’. I suppose I mean sense of bond or connection?
This comfort is what I really like.
But I feel anxious most of the time so I suppose I would crave this.
Yes. This
Dating after lockdown #12 It’s all got a bit dark
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Yes that’d be my ideal. A friendship that suddenly explodes into astonishing levels of passion and intimacy.
Look. It happens in the movies so it must be really easy to find
ETA: duck it, if I’m being unrealistic, my friend can be 6’4”, wealthy yet not ostentatious and also very generous, well hung, good looking and fit but not intimidatingly so, funny, intelligent, and thinks I’m bleeping amazing and the hottest thing he has ever come across, oh, and hilarious. He’s amazing in bed too. Very adventurous. And likes cooking and deciding what to eat.
Just waiting for him to arrive now I’ve manifested him.
If I shout what I’ve written out into the world, that means the universe will deliver him to my front door, doesn’t it? Or is it that my neighbours will start side eying me and talking about me as having “lost it….it’s quite sad really….look at the state of her”
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Hi
I’ve been told the brightest sparks burn out the quickest and to go for the slow burners but I think there needs to be an attraction there. There’s no harm in having a couple of dates to help you decide, you don’t need to know from the first date although I will usually know if it’s a firm no.
I’ve been told the brightest sparks burn out the quickest and to go for the slow burners but I think there needs to be an attraction there. There’s no harm in having a couple of dates to help you decide, you don’t need to know from the first date although I will usually know if it’s a firm no.
yeah 100%. just letting it grow naturally and maybe just analysing a person as a person or a friend instead of sizing them up for a relationship
Maybe you're right. I guess for me, before him I thought of "spark" as butterflies in the stomach, intense physical attraction and passion, coming out of a first date and being like "I just met the man I want to marry". The intense stuff.
And it really wasn't like that. The physical attraction was there, sure, but it didn't overwhelm me. The fact that he seemed so emotionally healthy, so kind and mature, so ready for partnership was more compelling. And that was entirely down to the internal shift that had happened for me through therapy and my own internal navigating. I had more or less stopped dating at that point to do some real reflecting on my own patterns that were making me unhappy. I was tying myself in knots in my love life and in my working life and I knew I was the common denominator. I stopped and realised it was time to stop chasing drama and to stop letting life happen to me, and time to live life on my terms.
I had sort of subscribed to this idea that maybe I'll be single forever, maybe I won't marry and have kids, maybe that'll be the net result of living life my way and not tolerating stuff that makes me anxious and unhappy and sure so what? Isn't that a better way to live? Getting rid of that timeline pressure was so helpful. And then finding someone laidback and kind and not gamey or full of bs was really refreshing. I still contend that I met the best man on the planet, but I also wonder had I not taken that pause and done that work, would I have ended up with him. He's not particularly tall, he's not one of these overly confident alpha types, he's not the type that typically would've been eye-catching to me. But he's amazing and perfect for me and for what I want and need.
So I hadn’t heard from fire fighter but look wasn’t too bothered as he is so quiet and was waiting for him to organise a second date… just went into bumble and he unmatched me 
almost 5 days post date. Lol ok hun 
almost 5 days post date. Lol ok hun I like the way you are quite chilled out and laid back about dating. It’s quite refreshing to seeSo I hadn’t heard from fire fighter but look wasn’t too bothered as he is so quiet and was waiting for him to organise a second date… just went into bumble and he unmatched me
Given his profession, perhaps there's no surprise things didn't catch aflame.So I hadn’t heard from fire fighter but look wasn’t too bothered as he is so quiet and was waiting for him to organise a second date… just went into bumble and he unmatched me
That part makes me think he was waiting for you to ask him for a second dateSo I hadn’t heard from fire fighter but look wasn’t too bothered as he is so quiet and was waiting for him to organise a second date… just went into bumble and he unmatched me
If you don’t like someone after meeting them you would unmatch much sooner.Haha thanks. Honestly I thought I would get more wrapped up in the whole thing but after my LTR and the way I was treated I am so happy to wait for the right guy who will meet my needs and knock my socks off. Even though the dating pool is pretty shallow I’m sure there is still plenty of fish!
I actually laughed out loud
Yes exactly what I thought as he said to me he LOVED that I planned the date and organised everything but relationships are equal so I wanted to see if he would plan a second date to come to the party and he clearly didn’t. The date wasn’t disastrous so I just think he was too shy to ask me out. His loss!That part makes me think he was waiting for you to ask him for a second date
This is ick
The man doth protest too much
If you're genuinely nice I doubt you'd need to write paragraphs to convince people of it. People like this are always awful I watched this youtube video about it actually, was quite interesting
Did you speak at all after the date?So I hadn’t heard from fire fighter but look wasn’t too bothered as he is so quiet and was waiting for him to organise a second date… just went into bumble and he unmatched me
I think he was possibly waiting for you to make the first move to communicate but I believe you will always make the effort for what you want.
So guys went on my first date last night and it was so nice, he has asked me out on a second one. We just went for a few drinks last night so next one will be a dinner date!!
Congratulations! When is the second date?!
He messaged me after and said he had a lovely night and thanked me for coming down and I messaged back and said I did as well and it was nice to meet him. As I fully planned the first date, time, place, everything, I just thought he might plan the second and as I thought he was a little quiet that it would show some effort, but I wasn’t fussed if it faded out (which it has). Was just a little predictable haha.
Also, it’s lazy and you know he’d need instructions for the whole of your interaction/relationship. You’d have to tell him what you want for your birthday, what to organise etc etc.
I like men with some initiative and get up and go.
His obviously got up and went.
I bet he’d be a disappointment in bed too. Probably asking you for reassurance all the time.
Anyway, when is our next date (with the other man)?
Exactly and that’s how my ex sort of was. I had to plan things and tell him what I’d want for my birthday etc and I’m not doing it againAlso, it’s lazy and you know he’d need instructions for the whole of your interaction/relationship. You’d have to tell him what you want for your birthday, what to organise etc etc.
I like men with some initiative and get up and go.
His obviously got up and went.
I bet he’d be a disappointment in bed too. Probably asking you for reassurance all the time.
Anyway, when is our next date (with the other man)?
10 years was enough for a life time. Saturday! I’m excited and I also think nervous? Because we get along really well (been texting all day for two weeks), lots in common and I guess if we don’t like each other in person that will be a let down? It’s Thursday evening here in Australia so about two days until our date. Will be exactly two weeks since we matched on Bumble and we are going for casual afternoon drinks
I picked up his text this morning and suggested dinner date but he hasn’t replied yet! Id probably say next week at some point hopefully
Yay! That’s so exciting, I’m so glad you had a great first date. We love a good first date story!
I am due to go on a date and I don’t want to. He’s so nice and although I know we’re not really suited, I thought it would boost my confidence to get back ‘out there’ as well as meet someone completely different, but I just have no enthusiasm at all. I’ve been so busy and feel exhausted so just want to hibernate for a few days and get my life back under control.
why do I feel so awful about it?
why do I feel so awful about it?
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