I'm so truly sorry to anyone who's lost anyone because of this pandemic. My first loss was my Grandma in 2015, I absolutely adored the bones of her and was so so close to her. When she passed it tore right through me, she had double pneumonia which she caught in hospital when admitted for another health issue. Luckily at the end she was on very high levels of morphine so passed in her sleep at 4 in the morning. It broke my heart she was alone at that point, my Dad and Aunt saw her every single day even though mentally they could tell she had already passed on. I like to think my Grandad was waiting for her. I don't think she would have coped with this pandemic, if she had lived.
It makes me angry that the government decided peoples fates in care homes so early on. Yes it's very complicated how they could've managed the risk and exposure, it's not easy. But the lack of testing and sending people back from hospitals with staff having no access to PPE was nothing short of a tragic and fatal mistake.