Cleaning with Mario #78 Rats in the attic, snakes oan the app, a bespoke bedsit full of crap

[ScottishMammy92]

Hullo ma lovelies
Been without a phone since Tueaday...darling husband tried to throw it to me at the side of the pool (smell the wealth) and missed and it smashed into aww wee bits. New LCD and screen and I'm back in business...I've bloody missed yees aw!

Finally caught up and I've cried with laughter aw night! This bespoke page never fails to have me clutching ma beak!

Anyone else think companies just send him aw wee broken bits and claim its a bespoke order just for him? Probably wee dents and wee bits missing fae aw the shite he's opened today. How much shite can ye throw behind a couch before you've got 2ft of living room left and nae where tae sit? Deed

Huv a feeling there will be a wee bespoke wooden cocktail tree in that wee space he's cleared on they bespoke vinyl solid oak worktops. That or a wee bespoke wooden stand for his velveeta-tizer machine. Mazzas Hot Shart Choclit Station.

Bet he canny wait tae fill aw they bespoke hard ceramic in the colour grey bed pans wae his favourite criss and joos.

Anyway ma lovelies I'm away tae get aw cosy aff the heat ae ma sunburn. Tonsa love and tattie hearts tae yees aw

 

[Babybail93]

Look at this ugly face.
That's his shitting face, so aye.
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People say he looks in his 20’s apparently?

State of it

 

[SuzyE]

Oh feck off Mario. Like you really care how people are, you self centred bastard

 

[Maggie28]

I can’t cope with this prick! I tapped along his Trillion dots and let the wee man speak and to be fair to him, he is glowing. Not a healthy glow, more of a high blood pressure glow.
I can’t listen to him, he is king prick of the gram and the only thing he will ever influence me to not shop anywhere he recommends.
I’ll get back in ma lane, thanks for making me laugh.
This thread is the perfect pick me up after a shit day at ma job!

 

[DollyTheLamb]

“Home stylist” ma fucking hole!!!! It’s aw free gifted shite and plastic tat from homebargains.
Delusional beaky mutant!!!

 

[SuzyE]

Sensible, pfffttt he doesn't know the meaning of the word

And showing off that new starbucks cup you're just so wasteful and thick, be sure no one visits you to see it. Imbecile

 

[Eeyore147]

Naw hens, i canny believe cunts lit is live amongst us. If youse thought Maz and his autumn shite wis bad then a certain wee ‘Juls’ on tiktok (IYKYK, dunno if am allowed to actually say) has got her Christmas tree up loonballs the lot a them. View attachment 1554818

Absolutely no words seriously it’s still the Summer Holidays - just! Going by the décor she’s obviously a Hinch hun too

 

[teaandgoss101]

Has he made space on his worktop for the gin tree he was after?
its quite obvious Deek brought him nothing for his bday or all these things would have been here on his actual bday

His gin tree would only need one branch ma lovely

 

[Babybail93]

Ahhh ma lovelies, that wee red coat takes me back to simpler times in his Debenhams days when he used to go on jaunts oot to the local working men’s club with the old birds from Rocha John Rocha and Star by Julien Macdonald.
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That fucking hair! It looks like he’s had a patch shaved fae brain surgery and it’s just started tae grow back!

We know he doesn’t have a brain though, so that theory is oot

 

[Milfordcubicle]

You have to have stuff to look forward to. We’ve just done two weeks in a foreign land (smell the wealth) and my real anxiety kicked my arse the whole time…..but my teenage kids had the BEST time and we saw some amazing things and did some amazing things (climbing mountains, swimming in rivers, lots of animals) in a few weeks we are going to bottomless brunch for old mister cubicles birthday. I have invited some of his old school mates from a different county as a surprise and it’s gonna be FUN! These are lads staring down the barrel of their 60’s but fun times keeps you going!
I have shopped to soothe self in the past and it doesnt work. You just have clutter to clutter your head worse. I have recently bought a Chanel perfume cos I bloody love it but one will do. I feel great every time I wear it and don’t feel the need to have 85 perfumes to choose from as they will just go off.
he is gonna be an old man in that dusty crusty bed sit wondering what the hell happened and where his life went. I went to home bargains earlier and was horrified by all the Xmas tat. I will pullthe same old tattered box of devs out of the loft (no rats or bespoke squirrels) and throw them at my (fake as can’t afford real anymore at £40 odd quid) tree.

 

[Hyacinthsquash]

THREE dress coats and scarves.. where the fuck does he plan on going in them hens

 

[mrsbucket]

He’s definitely trying to jump on a band waggon. I have complex MH issues and suffer with panic attacks, would I ever go on my Insta and tell everyone - erm no and I have hardly any followers. All these ‘new issues’ do we suspect PIP is due for renewal

As always he is late tae the party. Mrs Hinch has been faking panic attacks since 2018 so that's another insta trend he is behind oan.

I tried to watch the dots of doom but he was like a broken record stuck on repeat so I hud to skip them. Attention seeking little rat.

 

[muscadet]

Rest day ! What is he resting from

Overspending

 

[Caw1982]

Oh fuck off now

Ma lovely. He must be.
Imagine... if we're NO even the actual trolls.
Shartin is...
and there's a whole bespoke parallel universe tattle that he created.

He could be an actual parody account.

I'll swerve back into ma ain lane noo and pour masel another glass of sweet pinot

I genuinely thought he was a parody account when the group chat sent me to his page .

 

[Johnnoijones]

Another total random purchase we have never seen again but do you remember the projector he bought for 'cosy' movie nights?

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Rayn the wane ain’t living her best life she is bored shitless. She cannot access outside to explore and hunt like a normal cat, she doesn’t have any toys or stimulation to keep her entertained like a house cat. She literally has nothing. Like them goldfish you see in a bowl with just water and naething else. Selfish bastard Marion.

It's that wee cat I feel sorry for. Our cat is a house cat but has the run of the whole house, two cat tree's with hammocks and little things to keep her entertained, window beds, etc. The amount of money he wastes on pure shite he could buy a decent cat tree and put it behind the sofa so Ryan the cat can sit in it and look out the window. Suppose it just doesn't fit his shitty decor to have one

I hope one day the cat shites on his face. So aye. My post my rulezzzzzzzzz

Think he just bins most of it. He'll lie and say its been given away, but there's just no way.
Wasteful little shit should be made to look at and count up the cost of every item they didn't need, really need, he'd get a shock.

There is something not quite right going on in his head my lovely.

 

[Curtaintwitcher45]

Look wit ah stumbled upon this morning at 7am trotting off to ma FULL TIME joab. Morias wee clit will be taking a pounding the night hens, I bet she’s absolutely frothing, the little freak

Only joking loveies, we all know autumn is nothing but content for him. It’s the content that gets him dripping like a broken fridge and so forth. Mwah

 

[Doingitforthegramhuntake2]

Ma lovelies, have just caught up after ma actual full time joab that’s not this app taking over my life again. Anyway, I wanted to let yis all know that in ma bespoke team meeting the other day, the words ‘stay in ya ain lane Jane’ tumbled out ma mouth before I knew what wis happening

 

[mrsbucket]

Looks like me and Marion might be aff work at the same time… Youse wouldnae believe me if a said it was ma Maw a was goin tae London wae!!

Margrit is taking Mario up the London Eye, pass it oan...

 

[JoeExotic]

I’m Scottish through and through but jeeezzzz even I can’t keep up when he’s talking, how must the rest of the non Scot’s think when watching him ! Actually embarrassed for the slang and speed skating voice! No wonder no one wants to work with him, great advertisement that would be! Cringe.com No wonder Sophie didn’t visit him she didn’t have a translator. Sort yourself out MARIO