Well that was the worst tap wank I ever did see - queen of the night my arse ..... so aye
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I’ve just watched the “boy wonder” highlight and I’m actually raging the way he went on at Derek for using the Jo Malone hand wash in HIS OWN HOUSE. I would have slapped the daft bleep silly if he’d spoken to me like that!
Also his singing makes my ears bleed and he takes himself far too seriously
Also his singing makes my ears bleed and he takes himself far too seriously
hopefully, Rayn will be going to piss on his cleaned surfaces.
Anyone with pets (apart from Melvin) knows that to a cat ammonia smells like cat piss
Anyone with pets (apart from Melvin) knows that to a cat ammonia smells like cat piss
I've just noticed his jo malone highlight actually says "joe" lol
Aw ma lovlies, the Corona has hit the shire. Pray for oor mario, that he doesn't go doon for a visit an get it so we don't have to suffer 40 million 'am no well' stories 
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Updated:Aw ma lovlies, the Corona has hit the shire. Pray for oor mario, that he doesn't go doon for a visit an get it so we don't have to suffer 40 million 'am no well' stories
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I wish he hadn't blocked our colour-blind friend, they could've warned him and told him to gargle zoflo as a precaution
Have they been blocked ??!!
Got the info from here @Johnnoijones , hope they're not blocked tho.
Of course? Do you not display your cleaning products and hoover in your living room? Im thinking of buying two bottles of fabulosa and covering them in swarof-skee crystals, one of each window in my living room ma lovelies. Ill have the most boujeeee living room there is.
Its awrite ma lovelie dont you worry yoursel aboot oor Marion.... he's no even been doon to see his poor dad after his stint in the hospital so i doubt he will take the notion to just nip doon for a random visit. Anyway he's safter where he is surrounded by his chemical fog, that bleep will be immune to everything so long as he stays within the confines of his plush palace. so aye, and so forth, he's fine ma lovelie, absolutley fine.Aw ma lovlies, the Corona has hit the shire. Pray for oor mario, that he doesn't go doon for a visit an get it so we don't have to suffer 40 million 'am no well' stories
I'm having an insta break at the mo but just wondering if young Mario has been #gifted any bejewelled, bespoke antibacterial hand sanitizer yet? 
Amazed he hasn't found someone to bedazzle it for him so he can be like "Hinchy" and Khloe Kardashian
The vimtovirus hasn't hit his part of the Shire btw, closer to mine unfortunately.
Please put on your grink robes and pray for me
@kikinibamalam
Coronavirus is practically in my back yard. If I fill a fake Gucci shoebox with a sph2onge and some AvaMay wax melts and courier them to you at the shrine via Herms, would you be so kind as to flash the delivery driver and lay my offering down on the shed floor?
I know I'm not a small business, but I'm hoping St Melv can fit me in for a saving
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I am furiously polishing the vanity table of dreams, while lip synching random Whitney songs into the mini mirror. If I polish hard enough St Melvin will appear and dowse you in Fabulosa my childAmazed he hasn't found someone to bedazzle it for him so he can be like "Hinchy" and Khloe Kardashian
The vimtovirus hasn't hit his part of the Shire btw, closer to mine unfortunately.
Please put on your grink robes and pray for me
@kikinibamalam
Coronavirus is practically in my back yard. If I fill a fake Gucci shoebox with a sph2onge and some AvaMay wax melts and courier them to you at the shrine via Herms, would you be so kind as to flash the delivery driver and lay my offering down on the shed floor?
I know I'm not a small business, but I'm hoping St Melv can fit me in for a saving
The hand wash is “just for show” but he doesn’t mind his guests using it. His new books are just for show. I hope his guests aren’t looking to read them. He is some wa*ker
Thank you for ministering to me in my hour of need. Due to the national shortage of hand sanitiser gel, I am self isolating in a manky hoosecoat, eating only beige foods and cleaning ma flairs at regular intervals. I'm doing all I can to help maselfI am furiously polishing the vanity table of dreams, while lip synching random Whitney songs into the mini mirror. If I polish hard enough St Melvin will appear and dowse you in Fabulosa my child
Hope we're not gonna get a handwashing tutorial with him foaming his JOE Malone up whilst lipsyncing Happy Birthday bleeping twice!
Erm, well....oh yes, the rats.What guests?
Rub some eye gel in hun, after ripping out 99% of your eyebrows.Thank you for ministering to me in my hour of need. Due to the national shortage of hand sanitiser gel, I am self isolating in a manky hoosecoat, eating only beige foods and cleaning ma flairs at regular intervals. I'm doing all I can to help maself
I’m with you on the Coronavirus, it’s close to my home aswell! Hopefully Marlene will come a knocking with some disinfectant help some gals out!Amazed he hasn't found someone to bedazzle it for him so he can be like "Hinchy" and Khloe Kardashian
The vimtovirus hasn't hit his part of the Shire btw, closer to mine unfortunately.
Please put on your grink robes and pray for me
@kikinibamalam
Coronavirus is practically in my back yard. If I fill a fake Gucci shoebox with a sph2onge and some AvaMay wax melts and courier them to you at the shrine via Herms, would you be so kind as to flash the delivery driver and lay my offering down on the shed floor?
I know I'm not a small business, but I'm hoping St Melv can fit me in for a saving
Will the febreeze not leave water marks on a couch of that material?Well done marion, you're kicking it out of the park cleaning..... dusting around everything on your hideous sideboardpleased to see he has started killing off the new sofa with his febreeze
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