How have I only just come across Mario's wee wiki page.. the cv had me in stitches. 
Keep it up lovelies 
Keep it up lovelies 
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Between Kerry Katonas and halitosis I am
Howling
Howling
tit. tit everywhere!
Looks scruffy. He doesn't even use any of that crap. Look at the bespoke Mario shelf
Jesus there's an image to start the day of the dawn
I honestly think, Maz & Didums are very platonic, poss a wee dry hump once a month but they've prob got a towel with a hole like on the handmaid's tale #ifyouknowyouknow
That poor wee shelf is hanging on for dear life. Even the furniture is depressed in that
It’s another of his safe places for sharting
In most cases, any room looks better with less stuff in it. Clutter does just magically accumulate. Mario has lost sight of what his home is for and what it looks like. Needs a major cull. And a proper haircut.
His problem is he equates having things as a show of wealth.
No matter if he lives in the Devil’s hole of Scotland as long as it’s filled with expensive shite he doesn’t need he can class himself as “wealthy”.
Sad little life
He's catfishing himself.
That would involve him having a brain. I doubt he would know what cat fishing isHe's catfishing himself.
How can they feel comfortable with all that clutter around them?!.
Heaven forbid one of his many extension cords catches fire. The amount of aerosols in that room would be catastrophic
Do Marion and Derek actually rub each others knows cos I'm really finding it hard to believe... surely Derek's out bumming others!! #bummingfort
The thought makes me wee car sick ma lovelie
All this halitosis chat is giving me a new found respect for ole Alan 
I just keep thinking of Drop Dead Fred!All this halitosis chat is giving me a new found respect for ole Alan
“She got me with the Death Breath! The Mega witch!”
You can smell the stench ma lovelies, nae debates.
I think he needs a wee glade plug in fur his gub by the sounds of it!
Or start using those wax melts as a breath freshener
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