Comically vague. Where Mariooo....in Scotland? I know a nice place in Sri Lanka.
How much can you afford to spend???
Comically vague. Where Mariooo....in Scotland? I know a nice place in Sri Lanka.ON THE BEG!!
Came on here to see if anyone had seen it. Couldnt paint a red neck on that man. Absolutely no shame! Hope no where replies and he has to jump onto groupon like the rest of us!!!ON THE BEG!!
I’m done.Melv is harshing my buzz. The funky gibbon doesn't work for silent pictorial stories.
Instead I am invoking the legendary David Attenborough's dulcet tones and applying my own narrative.
The lesser spotted Melvin is indeed a rare species found only in a small territory in the west coast of Scotland. Notoriously often of poor general health, this unremarkable creature retreats to its hole whenever possible venturing out only when work and foraging for food and tat is strictly necessary. Parasitic in nature, the Melvin places a huge strain on local economies, environment and mating partner and unlike other rare species, nobody is particularly interested in conservation protections.
Identifiable by its uniquely hexagonal shaped head, sparsely covered in hair, it should always be approached with caution when outside of its safe place. Easily spooked and given to dramatics, it will lash out at perceived danger by breaking out its natural defences which include, but are not limited too, wild finger gesticulations, head wobbling and furious lip synching. It avidly avoids foods of nutritional value preferring instead anything beige or salt n vinegar flavoured and is wildly attracted to strong perfumed or chemical scents and anything shiny. Should you happen upon the Melvin unexpectedly and walking away in the opposite direction is untenable, it is recommended that you feign admiration, ask it nicely for a selfie or give it something (anything really) for free before slowly but determinedly backing away.
A more concentrated study of this creature was considered before being rejected as not remotely interesting enough.
and so forth.
Derek...question ... what does Melv keep in the wee cupboard in kitchen
I read that in the voice of mario from mario brothersI think Mario is the type to catch you looking at him in the store he works and come rushing over to you saying “aye your right it is me mario”
The cooncil owe him so why can't they shove a few Dreamies thru his busted letterboxHe cant leave the cat tho
I just feel sorry for the poor fucker who would need to give him a massage. Could have even go to a spa with his exzeema. I messaged him ages ago about if offering advice as I’ve struggled really badly with it and through the years have found amazing products that have really worked for myself and others. He was so condescending saying that his was really bad (Basically much worse than mine although he had no clue how bad mine was)and he wouldn’t be trying any of the stuff as he can’t just try new things. He has dry bloody skin. There is no way he has it with all those cleaning products he uses plus some of the cheap make up and shampoos etc.Let's be realistic here, anywhere with a fuckin bath would be a spa break for Melv. He could really push the boat oot and take a wee (gifted) bath bomb and so forth. So aye
He could chuck the cat in the attic and the cat can eat the rats and Mazza can go on his free spa break. Two birds. One stone.The cooncil owe him so why can't they shove a few Dreamies thru his busted letterbox
Orrrr...... Maz could go in the attic and let the rodents nibble his exzeemah, like them fish that sort manky feet out.He could chuck the cat in the attic and the cat can eat the rats and Mazza can go on his free spa break. Two birds. One stone.
He's so proud of it aswellEvery time he posts a photo of that kids mirror I buckle! It’s the worst looking thing I’ve ever seen!
Oh sh*t!! The cat!! Lol poor rayyyyynHe cant leave the cat tho
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