Cleaning with Mario #52 How the Hinch stole Mario’s Christmas

[So......yeah]

Hey, I come from foreign lands after being recommended here by other tattler bitches. Looking forward to laffing ma heid aff

 

[Babybail93]

I WONDER WHAT WILL BE IN THEM I'M SO EXCITED

Diabetes ma lovely. They contain diabetes

 

[Doodlebug71]

Is he gonna find a dm from Hinch to meet up oan her latest jurnee to Glasgow and claim he missed out coz his ootbox wisnae delivering dms

 

[mrsbucket]

Happy Sunday hens! Make sure youse are your true self of self's on this dayn of dawn!

KEEP YOU POWER!*

*not my quote

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Did anyone see The Chase last week with a Hincher on? When Bradders Walsh asked her what her hobbies were, she said she followed Mrs Hinch and gets all the cleaning tips.

I’ve never wanted to punch myself in the face so much

 

[SuzyE]

Why would I have a phone full of pics of Mario and other weirdos from insta. I was at pizza express in Woking when all these things didn't happen. View attachment 911120View attachment 911121View attachment 911122

The size of Derek next to Hannah’s ex. He's like a kid with his dad at McDonald's

 

[menopausalmargrit]

yes I wonder?i can't believe I forgot to mention the bespoke Christmas eve box.what does Marion normally do for Christmas I remember he puts Derek to bed cause he has a few to many cherry's.Does he go to his brothers or mum&dad's?or do Marion & Derek have a wee bespoke Christmas perty of their own the suspense is killing me.

Usually down to the sisters nursing home for dinner and drinks. Marion takes several photos of said nursing home and then they are home by 8pm getting aw cosy, with one year Derek having to be put to bed. If I recall correctly Derek had to work one year so didn’t partake in a *points* lethal drink.

I am on the edge of my seat wondering what Gucci knock offs we will get this year - so far we have had a belt, wallet, sunglasses and trainers. He wore the trainers to go shopping on Boxing Day and his feet were looping the next day, wee lamb.

Now realised that I know far too much about him and I’m away to question my life (in ma ain lane of course).

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Ma lovelies, I don't know whether I'm on a wee cruise jurney or if I'm a wee air hostess.

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Mario got what he deserved. He is a selfish c!nt and is more obsessed with the validation from that app than hinch. I don't feel sorry for him. Karma on his arse.

He's sitting down and getting some class this week. He'd better be back by Christmas Eve, I want to see them in those PJ's, the sleeves halfway up their arms.

 

[Blanche Hunt]

Oh no, Marion and Deek are off out on Christmas Eve, what about the Christmas Eve boxes and jammies TBH he’ll prob get cold feet last minute and stay home and get cosy

Ah love that he’s decided he’s goin oot for dinner and needs tae ‘live life mair’ jist as big Nicola Sturgeon hus essentially telt us tae no dae that. His page, his rules though. Nothing like a new dose ah Corona and IBS oan Christmas Day

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

Just Eat tells me it’s a 1/2 Pizza Crunch, costing £3-£4.50. Pickles are 30p a go. Add the chips and you got yourself a bespoke meal for less than the price of a wax melt burner. Abzoloot bargain ma lovelies.

I need to go out and get drunk. As bad as him sat here searching for his supper on Just Eat

 

[Blanche Hunt]

Ah ken that it must be shit if he genuinely was expecting tae meet Hinch and that it must be embarrassing that he’s been so publicly patched but cmon Marion, your making it worse for yersel son. Stop greetin, dust yersel off and pretend it doesnae bother you. You’re making a tit oh yersel wae the Insta post and the sulk. You’re 38, who wants fake pals et that age anyway. And here endeth the life lesson fae Blanche. So aye.

 

[Poptart]

As if he's flounced off in a huff when we've only had 37 grid posts of candy cane lane
So many snakes on that app

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

I wish Moira would get married. That would be a good day on tattle

He cannae afford the wedding of his dreams, it would be a quick stop on the way back from the shops

Then tea at Castelvecchi, then a quick wee worm dance, then home to watch a film and get aww cosy.

 

[blocknroll]

Youse all need tae get back in yet ain bespoke laine. Mario celebrates Eastie, no Easter ma lovelies. Tons a love. Tattie hearts xx

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I think the top pointless purchase for me has to be the hot chocolate station in the colour “plywood”, for a few reasons.

1) It highlighted how desperately hard he tries to copy others’ ideas, but his version always ends up looking dog shit See also: the autumnal decor, his mouldy panelling and the laminate flooring laid in 3 different directions.

2) He KNEW it looked shit and he had to save face by leaving it in situ for 3 weeks before his fictitious “boiler leak” ruined it and it could finally go to join the cereal dispensers and the original IKEA wardrobes in the big landfill in the sky. Looking at it in the corner like:

 

[Badaboom]

OMG! I totally thought that was Maz in the suit at first

 

[Babybail93]

I was facially mauled by our dog. What. Erm...

Fucking hell. If I’d had a week like that I wouldn’t be sending that little cunt messages. I’d be on the blower to the Samaritans

 

[Babybail93]

I’m thinking he’ll come off his comma when he receives his Hinch hoose coat for free.

*stroking it with his salad fingers*
”oh my gawwwwd the quality is unreal. So aye. I love it. Such an amazing present from a brilliant friend. So aye. I am amazed my hens. So generous of her! So surprised. So aye and so forth”

 

[menopausalmargrit]

And on today’s episode of things that never happened - people running up to him in the street to say they had his dupe perfume. AS IF!