Cleaning with Mario #52 How the Hinch stole Mario’s Christmas

[coffeeislife21]

My bad week just got worse. Found out today my Nan has passed away. I’m broken xx

 

[Rayne]

Mario:

Also Mario 24 hours later:

The only explanation for this is the cloud of zoflora fumes that he was breathing in after cleaning for 4 hours Friday finally cleared lmao

 

[laynelo_]

This still makes me howl. His and His bottles for him and deek. I wonder how many times they get mixed up. Also, no amount of Oplex will solve that baldy peanut heed a yours Marion.

 

[LadyB65]

Nae sorry feelings fae me, I’ve been fucking deed aw weekend reading on here though
I can’t usually stand Hinch, but this is the best/ funniest thing she’s ever done She owes him nothing, if anything the wee bawbag owes her, he would be even more of a naebody without her? Now that he has realised that ‘oor Soph’ isnae actually his pal, maybe he will realise that there is nae need for a 40 year old man to decorate his entire bedsit at the start of November with the entire B&M stock catalogue, or have a hot chocolate station, or Christmas Eve boxes or any of the other ‘trends’ that he has wastefully jumped on!

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

This still makes me howl. His and His bottles for him and deek. I wonder how many times they get mixed up. Also, no amount of Oplex will solve that baldy peanut heed a yours Marion.

View attachment 908591

OLAPLEX?? fuck right off i am deceased You would think he was goldilocks the way he gets on with the dyson and all the product he uses. He isn't right in the head is he? MOONUNIT OF A MAN.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Stop buying mugs, the cupboards are buckling ffs.

 

[Anti-influencer]

Why would I have a phone full of pics of Mario and other weirdos from insta. I was at pizza express in Woking when all these things didn't happen. View attachment 911120View attachment 911121View attachment 911122

James & Hannah look like their carers

 

[A Wean Named Rayn]

I think he means he’ll be out for a beige spoons breakfast and then he’ll head home to get cozy with his wee Christmas Eve box and chocolate even tho he doesnae like sweet things.

Castelvecchi must be opening late on Christmas Eve. She’ll be having a beige platter of pizza crunch, chips and 2 x pickles with a can of joos. How festive!

 

[Babybail93]

I love when I’m reading other threads and I catch people writing in Marionism

I see youse!!! So aye

 

[laynelo_]

Who the fucks gawny buy a bracelet fae a wax melt company? hideous aliexpress shite.

 

[Noseybonk]

I will catch up on today’s posts now ma lovelies, just wanted to share Mr Noseybonks latest thoughts on Mazda (who he still calls Marigold)….
Him - Are you on that tattle again? Are you looking at the nosey fuck?
Me - Which nosey fuck?
Him - The nosey fuck with the nose, and voice, Marigold. Has he still got that mad tree?
Me - He’s still got the tree but he’s sulking at the moment cos Mrs Hinch didn’t visit him when she was in nearby in Scotland.
Him - Shes that woman who made you buy the cleaning shit. Don’t start watching her again, we’ve no room for more crap. Why would anyone want to visit that big nosed t&at.
Me - She makes out they are friends and Marigolds nose is fine to her cos her husband used to have a far bigger nose ***showed Mr Noseybonk a pic of Jamie’s old nose off the hinch thread***
Him - What the fuck is that. He must be rich or have a massive dick if she still married it.

And….there ends another highbrow intellectual conversation about influencers and Tattle with Mr Noseybonk

 

[Turmeric123]

He's back

 

[Pandasnooks]

I'm a bit late to the party but I get confused... why does he say he's off IG but bac on it 2 seconds later? Is he mentally challenged?

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

So the lassie he grew up with, had nights out with, sleepovers with, shared secrets and experiences with - her he falls out with and cuts out of his life for years and years. Hinch humiliates him in front of 146000 people and that's forgiven in less than 24hrs?

That's not personal growth, that's fucked up

 

[Babybail93]

I see your olaplex ma lovely and I raise you the Dyson hairdryer

Cough cough

Ring doorbell….. on a top floor flat AFTER you’ve already had to buzz up with the exterior building door

 

[Turmeric123]

Mayne H means haircut as he pays fuul rent to the cooncil which includes a wee strim wae a protractor hen

Is this what happens when the strimmer malfunctions?

 

[Blanche Hunt]

Apologies that it’s a week late but ah was listening tae some Christmas songs and this wan seemed too gid not tae abuse.

The balloon arch’s coming down
(Christmas) am watchin it fall
(Christmas) only Rendall’s around
(Christmas) Hinchy, please come home

Sophie Hinchcliffe’s in town
(Christmas) she’s no ma pal Ah wis wrong
(Christmas) her and Katie don’t want me around
(Christmas) Hinchy, please come home

You’re staying at Mar Hall
But it not like Christmas at all
‘Cause ah wis expecting you tae come here
Paisleys really nothing tae fear

Mental lights on the tree
(Christmas) ah keep saying am fine
(Christmas) you should be here with me
(Christmas) Hinchy, please come home

Ma wreath hangs in ma hall
You’re no answering ma calls
Glesga airport is oan the road past here
Maybe you’ll come here next year

If there was a way
(Christmas) that hoosecoat’s quite dear
(Christmas) gies it for Christmas Day
Please
(Please) please
(Please) please
(Please) please (please)
Hinchy please come home (please)
(Christmas) Hinchy please come home
(Christmas) Hinchy please come home
(Christmas) Hinchy please come home (Christmas)
Oh yeah yeah

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Ma lovelies, who knew Hinch not flying her broom to the bedsit would be such a divisive situation! I’m firmly in the camp of not feeling sorry for Mario. He’s a bespoke idiot and this has hopefully taken him down a peg or two. Him throwing his toys out the pram in a fit of rage then deleting it is pure comedy gold he’s a 40 year old brat.

REALLY holding out hope for a 500 dot story along the lines of: I’m abzzzolutelllyyyyy fineeee!!!!! This isnae ma life or joab. It’s just this app. So aye…..

 

[Doingitforthegramhuns]

Someone needs to remind him that this app isnae the airport, he doesnae need to announce his departure

 

[Shazzyshizzle]

Don’t know if this has been posted, took it from the Hinch thread - Katie’s mum posted this

Don’t know if this has been posted, took it from the Hinch thread - Katie’s mum posted this

Credit - legsbumsandtums