Cleaning with Mario #38 All the lip balms in the land but his crusty lips are dry as sand

[NosyNorahh]

The fact that he now has two phones and felt the need to tell the whole of Instagram has absolutely killed me What a little Dick

 

[margot44]

Not a chance he is exempt. Can’t believe we are the only country in the world that has people who are exempt from wearing masks. Loonasy!

Boils my piss all these selfish maskless cunts taking complete advantage of the hidden disability sunflower lanyard that you can buy on ebay for fuck sake.

 

[margot44]

Just had a disgusting thought pop into my head, and if I have to suffer it, then so do you lot!

I’ll bet he squeals like a wee suckling pig looking for a teat, in bed

Have some joos ma luvlies. You’re welcome

 

[Babybail93]

Your guess is as good as ours lovelie, his excuse for getting it was that he kept missing parcel deliveries and it was a long walk to the parcel place to collect them, so he said with the ring doorbell he wouldn’t miss the deliveries anymore. I think he is just a bit thick tbh

Oh he’s definitely nae the full ticket ma lovely. Neither is Derek. I’m sure they claim carers allowance for each other

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Haaaallloooo ma lovelies!

So ahm jist back fae Castleveeetchhhy. Done a big shite when ahh got in, that bloody curry sauce always runs right through me. Noo that ahv cleared ma bowels ahm huvin a wee *points tae bottle* and Barr’s lemonade coz Derek is bloody watching the fitba *rolls eyes*

A hope youse are aw huvin a loverlie weekend and are staying cosy and safe.

Tons a love, M xxx

 

[Poptart]

HOW do his lips look that dry when he owns 186 absoluuute staypul lip balms?!

 

[MaidMarion]

I think I know where mazda is! I think him and Deek are going into love Island as a swinging couple, so are currently in hiding prior to flying out to Costa del skank Island
Mon oot a hiding manbag, we're all getting bored now!
(Cue a story of Big beak grabbing, hoosecoat clutching, fake laughing fannybaws saying how thoooooosands have messaged him asking if he is going to be on the telly)

 

[Jemima puddleduck]

My favourite part is when he won't reveal where him and Deek are off te for the day because 'there'll be a stampede of people' His actual words! Wee knobber thinks they are posh and Becks

Also when he hits himself in the face showing aff his absolut staypul Method cleaner Peppergate is the gift that keeps oon giving!

forget posh and becks, deek and beak are on tour

 

[Cleanayr]

Just had a thought loads of people are buying these to have friends round and watch the footie in the garden. Is this his version of this but just him and derek as he has no friends or garden?

 

[laynelo_]

Genuinely baffled at a couple who have so much child free time, still dumping their kids in a crèche so they can go to the gym at the same time.

Wrong thread ma luvlie? Marion would drap deed if he entered a gym.

 

[Babybail93]

What a cunt! he really thinks he’s something doesn’t he?

Now has a “burner” phone for insta stop it!!!!

 

[Poptart]

Feel like pure shit just want Mario back tbh

 

[Andioooop]

Yoohoo Marion, yer being a wee bit dramatic now hen. Dinnae leave it tae lang otherwise yer be FUHLY bald when yer come back oan. Tonnes a love

 

[Andioooop]

Hello ma lovelies, hope yis aww well. Rumor has it Marions got a boujee collab with boohooMAN. It’s called fashion ma lovelies, nae debates

 

[margot44]

Sorry ma luvlies, I couldn’t help masel, meet Mario Schwarzenegger

 

[Runforestrun]

On the dawn of days I bestow to youse owl a bran noo bespoke boujie thread!

Congrats to our esteemed tattler @Curtaintwitcher45 for the title, edited slightly to fit

As you were lads!

Quick recap of the week…

Marion is still a twat.

 

[Bestlife@60]

Fucking hell, I nearly fell of Ma seat on the bus! I thought Marionantoinnette has posted in the Metro letting us know he’s fine….. hooter pinching guffaws!!

 

[laynelo_]

Aw ma luvlies I was doing a driving lesson earlier and my instructor said “Don’t worry about the other cars stay in your own lane” and I couldn’t stop laughing Marion has truly infiltrated into every part of my life now and ruined my humour, my poor instructor was beyond confused.

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

How aw youse all ahm fine ahm on this new dayn of fablon dawn . Just been on the beg and treatit maself to some gifted shite I didnae need. I will show you all once ready back from my comma break tons aw love to you mwah mwah x

He has thick course hair my lovelie. It is definitely not thin and balding hence why he needs the dyson hair dryer

Im surprised Garnier haven't headhunted him to be a hair model with those undeniable results! Let's not forget his absolute favourite, staple, food for his hair.

Stunning results

 

[BoujeeBabe]

He's got kerrykatonacocknoseitis, not a legitimate chronic chest/lung condition - selfish bastard! These maskless, I don't give a fuck cretins either not wearing a mask because they don't believe in them or because they've bought a fake-ass exception ID from eBay really make my blood boil as I've been wearing masks since before they become mandatory and actually care about myself and my loved ones.

Pricks