Cleaning with Mario #38 All the lip balms in the land but his crusty lips are dry as sand

[Very Cherry]

@menopausalmargrit ma lovelie, am nae good at keeping gifts secret and am excited to show you what i bespoke designed for you. I hope you like it.

 

[Nellyellie]

I think this post will get me VIP status… only right it’s on Mazdas page. Anyone care to join me for a tapas and joose

 

[Bestlife@60]

jeez, there’s more skin than hair. He needs a duster not a Dyson!!!

 

[Boooooujie]

What in the name of tattie hearts and stovie farts is that all about he sounds so rude, may as well just off said fuck aff and leave me alone, get back in yer ain lain and leave me to have ma jooos in ma hoose coooaaat

 

[mrsbucket]

"So many of youse have asked how I manage to stay so brave and noble keeping youse all safe from covid but ma joab is ma joab and if youse want to put me furward for a knighthood that is your business ma lovelies nae debates on ma page."

Yea right Mario Fictional messages don't count. He is so full of his own self importance

 

[Maggie28]

I think we should all celebrate @menopausalmargrit anniversary with a bespoke Mario high tea, followed by a bespoke smell the wealth cheese board. Followed by lashings of mumosa.
All on a tapas table from Danyell’s. We shall clink glasses, (purchased from B&M) on the exact time margrit joined Tattle. While wearing a non flammable housecoat, that we clutch while wiping tears away of pure joy, that this thread brings us.
But before the celebration’s can begin, we will all nip round to Mazda’s and do our hair using his Dyson hairdryer. Pat under our eyes with some bespoke cream.
Have a spray of dettol, or Tesco’s own bathroom spray. Mixed in with the fresh scent of cat shit.
Hopefully by then we would have had Mario’s bedroom wardrobe journey.
Love this thread, I wonder when Mario reads it if he laughs, oh well I do. That’s all that matters.

 

[margot44]

We’re going on a comma journey ma luvlies, hold tight

 

[menopausalmargrit]

I see the attention seeking wee ballbag isnae back as yet?

Excuse me ma lovelie, this is noo ma thread. Noo sit doon and get some class!!!

 

[laynelo_]

These idiots like Marion faking their exemptions for wearing a face mask actually discredits those who are TRULY exempt and makes it more difficult for them. Not to mention, there are plenty of people who could be exempt but still chose to wear a mask. He deserves to catch covid the horrible wee twat.

 

[Babybail93]

So Moira will be rising like a Phoenix?

This shit is embarrassing. I always forget he is actually a 38 year old man!!!

My 15 year old daughter wouldn’t pull this bullshit.

Grow up hen!

 

[Bunnykins]

If he has lost his joab at the polis stashun ma lovelies than thank fuck he’s financially secure with tunsa savings! The buckled ikea wardrobes are stuffed with cash notes and nawt Deek’s pot stash or marion’s Wax melt collecshun at all!
He’ll be be fiiiiiine! Absoloootely fiiiiiine!
Keep spining bright

 

[Babybail93]

Just had a disgusting thought pop into my head, and if I have to suffer it, then so do you lot!

I’ll bet he squeals like a wee suckling pig looking for a teat, in bed

 

[Alexlilz]

Watching his stories from last night "I love a laugh aye, that just shows how well you all know me"

Who doesn't like to laugh?! Who ever thinks "Christ noo, I bloody hate laughing"? Fuck off

 

[TheFabFader]

Ma lovlies, I think I know what’s happened. Wee Deek has put his fut down as the Euros are on for the next month and he’s intending to enjoy the fitba while getting baked. He’s no time for Marion’s nonsense and Marion has taken a huge huff.
Derek is moving into his ain lain and we have radio silence Win, win all round.

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

Like two phones Marion we need a two member collaboration thread title with these lovelies. It’s perfect

After that video someone posted the other day

Twae phones McKnight but lips that look like shite

Thread title surely has to be ‘abazalootly D’agostin’ ma lovelies

so aye

Twae phones McKnight but lips that look like shite abazalootly D’agostin

 

[twilightgarden]

FFS the wee dick couldn’t help but show off his 200 inch projector again. Fuck off Maz you ugly scrote.

I googled it as football is way oot ma lain and D’Agostino is a footballer. So the chances are his dad is wearing it for the footballer, not his sharpie eyebrowed beak nosed eagle of a son.

 

[Bestlife@60]

@menopausalmargrit Ive got youse a luuuuvly face mist…… oh, hang on….. sorry it’s fabulosa room spray!!!!! Make sure you shut your eyes hen, you’ll be fine
not end up like a Nikita!!

 

[BishBashBoss]

The fireplace must’ve fell on tap a him.

Derek was probably supervising it that night

 

[Anti-influencer]

Two-Phones-Mario is a fanny pass it on

 

[GimmeGimmeGimme]

Just had to comment on this thread.
I've been reading along for a fair few days now and I can honestly say I've never laughed as much as I have at all your comments.

Funniest thread on here