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Right that’s it, it’s a date!! See youse aw ootside the Kandybar bar the morn lads. Be share to wear yer wee lanyards and nae mask so I can identify youse aw. The strawberry terts are oan me!! We can sit oan the metro steps devouring our baked goods whilst remaining fully in oor ain lanes and so forth. If anyone wishes to carry on the party we will reconvene at the shore wall where we shall snort lines of soda crystals and swig zoflo straight from the bottle.Oh can I come too please? We can do intros whilst queuing to get in by the piss stained Metro steps
Wouldn’t get much of a ride on the mushroom that’s for sureOh Derek, honey, why?! Just why
Maybe Derek likes a bumpy, toothy ride
Brilliant idea. I would love a bespoke and boujee one. But I will not with herms!!Right everyone you must all send forth your home addresses. I’m going to send all of you luvlies a Swarovski encrusted Ayrshire tattie. I have found a tattie supplier fae Mauchline and am waiting on Hermes getting back to me with postage prices. Honestly ahm just wanting to send youse aw this wee token . Nae praise to me though, ah don’t roll like that. am just over here on ma ain lane sending out free gifts to youse aw and expecting totally no praise in return
Anyone else wondering whether the Cooncil have told Deek that the place is finally being knocked down and the next to have the keys will be the demolition company?
Im
Im still in ma ain lane and saying it’s a cleaning job of some sortCan I just check that we’re all still committed to uncovering the mystery job ? Im between nightshifts and have been scouring insta comments and the SSSC register to rule out working in the care sector
Hello ma lovelies, apologies if this is posted but his wee heid is in the press again....
Awe ma luvlies al no make it. I’m isolating the noo. Loaded with the cauld but it’s no the rona thankfully but still need to isolate for 10 daysRight that’s it, it’s a date!! See youse aw ootside the Kandybar bar the morn lads. Be share to wear yer wee lanyards and nae mask so I can identify youse aw. The strawberry terts are oan me!! We can sit oan the metro steps devouring our baked goods whilst remaining fully in oor ain lanes and so forth. If anyone wishes to carry on the party we will reconvene at the shore wall where we shall snort lines of soda crystals and swig zoflo straight from the bottle.
Suits me fine to be fair I need a wee break cause I work 2 days a week know it a mean. Knackered disnae begin to describe it. Awe the auld metro. Last time ah wiz there, 1994, aye I’m that auld, and ultrasonic were playing. Started gaun tae hangar roon aboot then too. Ah the memories. The come doons. The treacherous bus jurney back tae Glasgow. Enjoy ma lovelies mwah mwah mwah
Aye of course ma luvlie - how about we meet ootside the kandybar in Saltcoats and we can bond over a sausage roll and a yum yum?
We should all get Mariofan t shirts too with @Cagayu ’s best edit surrounded by a tattie heartOh can I come too please? We can do intros whilst queuing to get in by the piss stained Metro steps
Watching Derek’s TikToks, there’s one where they do a couples challenge and the question is “who spends the most money?” and Mario POINTS TO DEREK!!!!!!!!!!! I’m floored 
(Derek CORRECTLY points to Mario!) but seriously — how much money must Derek spend? A football strip once in a blue moon, a meal deal at work, a PlayStation game here and there and his grass
supply.
It pales in comparison to Marion!!
(Derek CORRECTLY points to Mario!) but seriously — how much money must Derek spend? A football strip once in a blue moon, a meal deal at work, a PlayStation game here and there and his grass
supply. It pales in comparison to Marion!!
He’s threw a carpet down then filled the place with free shite from danyells bargain corner,
They’ll be getting recharged to renew the kitchen by the council whenever he moves out.
don’t change the fixtures or fittings Marion, so aye
They’ll be getting recharged to renew the kitchen by the council whenever he moves out.
don’t change the fixtures or fittings Marion, so aye
We will never know, ma lovelie, as the wee bawbag might well be claiming an unemployment benefit whilst doing a few bespoke hours a week undercover for cash in the strangler hand.....I’m no far away. Can youse personally deliver mine in a bespoke box?
Cause he doesn’t
It really doesIt makes more sense reading it backwards
. Its his bespoke phone ma lovelie - it types it out all in its own laine so aye. Us mere tattle tatties cannae have such phones with laines.Is his new joab writing articles for the Daily Record? Maybe his alter ego is Magdalene Dalziel
Some poor bugger on overtime correcting his illiterate ramblingsyou must be absolutely exhausted hen. 2 WHOLE days or is just wee half days? Honestly youneed to rest... get your cosy jammies and hoosecoat on hen and make yersel a bovril!! Pm me yer address and I’ll send you a cheese hamper from Arran cheeses but ask them no to include any cheese in it, maybe just half a dozen wee water biscuits in a braw hamper so you can display your wax melts (from marions range I hope). Oh I’ve fond memories of the old metro, luckily for me it was just a hop skip and a jump hame, when we even made it hame that wizAwe ma luvlies al no make it. I’m isolating the noo. Loaded with the cauld but it’s no the rona thankfully but still need to isolate for 10 days
Enjoy ma lovelies mwah mwah mwah
Never forget thon time me and ma pal (let’s just call her *laura 
) got that steaming we passed oot behind the salt cot and woke up with the butcher trying to set up his stall at the Saltcoats market they were the days. Oanyway am night shift the night ma luvlie so a cannae sit here eating muller corners chatting aw nicht when there’s lives to be saved and worlds for me to rock. You spine bright hen, tattie hearts straight tae ye doll Can you imagine one of us being at work and the boss appears and says he wants to introduce you to the new start and when you turn around you see Moira standing there in his bespoke gladrags. I would die on the spot I think.
Morning ma lovelies - I thought I would share the rest of Mazdas latest press appearance in full. 
His new Joab is clearly teaboy at the paper, and fills the gap with his bespoke bougie personality on slow news days 
His new Joab is clearly teaboy at the paper, and fills the gap with his bespoke bougie personality on slow news days
So I saw the grid post and I must say, I prefer the "before" photo 
Erm, I've never seen him referred to as the King of cleaning.Morning ma lovelies - I thought I would share the rest of Mazdas latest press appearance in full.
View attachment 275103View attachment 275104View attachment 275105
The Duke of Wipingaround maybe.one of the tattlers giving us a wee laugh!
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