My ain lane
Also why has he bought another ring light? Does he need two of everything?
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Also why has he bought another ring light? Does he need two of everything?
Three but he's been saving his ass off fur months now
A keep oan hearing and seeing the word Boujee and bespoke feckin everywhere, ma pal tagged me In a competition ooer oan the Facebook to win some tie dye clothing.. wit the duck..
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Finally the thoosands of stories have gone and I was treated to ‘bear in mend’ 
and lovely Derek’s face 
Mario is punching so much.
#FreeDerek
and lovely Derek’s face Mario is punching so much.#FreeDerek
Finally the thoosands of stories have gone and I was treated to ‘bear in mend’
#FreeDerek
I know those lovely lips !
Poor Mario! What are we expecting first - boujee new lip journee or hair plugs? His hair is receeding quicker than a low tide
Serious seven head on him. Dezza however is beaut as per usual
I'm actually starting to think Mario's kerrykatonacovid eye disorder is catchy and poor deek has got it... How else do you explain him finding Mazda attractive? I suppose we should applaud him for his public services, if it wasn't for deek Marion would of been the 40 year old virgin if it wasn't him
Talking of hair cuts, has his grown inwards during lockdown as it's literally never changed?? I doubt he's done it himself as it's too bespoke and boujee and get the feeling he's quite particular about it.
I can imagine he’s the type to carefully arrange each and every follicle to disguise the fact that his hair is disappearing faster than a spare inch of floor space in that bathroom.
Ma organisms
aye but lassies don’t forget he’s pure in the know about every aspect of beauty and hair Cos he’s been pure intae it for many many years as youse aw ken so he’s actually mair than qualified to cut hair, honest to goad he could totally huv his ain salon if he wanted tae but he just doesn’t like to be the centre of like that so he keeps his amazing hair skillz under wraps. Anyway, ma luvlies ahm away downstairs to have a midnight feast, cheeky wee rustlers burger with a pack of microchips as a chaser mwah mwah
love laugh love ma lovelies xxxxxI honestly fail to see what wee Derek gains from their relationship?I'm actually starting to think Mario's kerrykatonacovid eye disorder is catchy and poor deek has got it... How else do you explain him finding Mazda attractive? I suppose we should applaud him for his public services, if it wasn't for deek Marion would of been the 40 year old virgin if it wasn't him
In all seriousness... what does marlon actually have to offer him? Derek always seems to be buying marlon gifts, sends him song lyrics (
) and just seems generally content with his lot. Whereas marlon is a mixture of peewee Herman and somecunts mouthy aunty Senga fae the Roughest scheme in the shire. He has more Boujie bespoke rare health conditions than anyone I’ve ever known So his medical file must resemble Waterstones. He cannae string a decent sentence together and never fails to trip himself up. What a catch 
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The council has been cutting it.
Cleaning With Mario #15 toot toot Derek is a driver, give wee Mario a fiver to spent on tat, grab that cat and run as fast as you can
I’m delighted that it’s only page 33 and we have easily a dozen suggestions for new page names.
Who seen the house tour and noticed mario had the full teenage girls dressing table filled with every beauty product available to purchase on beauty bay. And poor deek has 3 or 4 wee lotions and creams sat on the radiator!?!
Surely mario could get rid of theface mists body mists and that’s free up the space for dereks face wash. Wee shame
Surely mario could get rid of the
To “Paul” who asked Martin “would you and derek like kids” where on earth would you li
Also... RIP the boujeee faux bespoke chrome phone from the living room.. Martin has clearly realised if it’s no plugged in... ITS ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS!! And donated it someone worthy of it
Ahh.... I smiled seeing Derek's face!Finally the thoosands of stories have gone and I was treated to ‘bear in mend’
#FreeDerek
#FreeDerekI've cried for most of the morning due to financial worries and relationship problems, but your post gave me a good laugh - thank you ma lovelie!aye but lassies don’t forget he’s pure in the know about every aspect of beauty and hair Cos he’s been pure intae it for many many years as youse aw ken so he’s actually mair than qualified to cut hair, honest to goad he could totally huv his ain salon if he wanted tae but he just doesn’t like to be the centre of like that so he keeps his amazing hair skillz under wraps. Anyway, ma luvlies ahm away downstairs to have a midnight feast, cheeky wee rustlers burger with a pack of microchips as a chaser mwah mwah
I honestly fail to see what wee Derek gains from their relationship?
Guys am gawn doon tae the spar if oanywan wants anything while ahm there? Am pyooor dying to get some washing up liquid from the range “happy shopper” it’s £14.65 and reminds me so much of the packaging my moustache bleaching kit used to come in circa 1986. The washin up liquid comes in the scent lemon lime and dandelion and in the colour yellah and youse aw know throughout mah jurnie how much a luv a boujie washin up liquid Cos a tell yeez eleventy billion times a week. So aye guyz, ahm takin orders! Deek will deliver them in six months when he’s past his test m lovelies mwah mwah 
live laugh love 
live laugh love 
"Ah youse this continously for 2 years on mah journey"
Do ya aye? Well your eyes must be really bad because you've actually been using fabulosa mate!
Do ya aye? Well your eyes must be really bad because you've actually been using fabulosa mate!
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