Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[HeyBabes]

I had 2 children on my flight today, one was 2 and the other 11. The 2 year old kept standing on its seat during turbulence, I told the mother that he had to be sat down, and she just snorted “ugh I’m trying!” Huffing away. it was a 2 year old, you’re an adult, sit the kid down! Don’t moan to me if it breaks it’s neck when it goes flying into the overhead panel during a bump.
The 11 year old was travelling with their mum too, I ask the kid if she wants a chocolate, she doesn’t even look at me or give me a response, the mum says yeh she’ll have one, so I hand the kid one, not even a thank you or acknowledgement. Most parents then tell their kids to say thank you, no not this one.
Theres some really useless, crappy parenting about nowadays

 

[Eggsandbeans]

We have someone coming back to our team after a very long mat leave. She's sent an email saying she's looking forward to coming back and introducing us to her 'new little best mate' who is 'the best thing ever' and she 'could talk about him all day every day!'. With no less than TWELVE photos of the kid.

I hope I don't get sat next to her next time we're in the office.

Bet you all got told last minute she was intending to even come back too.

 

[Jane Porcupine]

Bet you all got told last minute she was intending to even come back too.

Correct!

 

[Millais]

One of my neighbours is reading a bed time story to his sprog so loudly that I can hear it from my own bedroom “WHERE COULD SHE BE? IS SHE HERE? IS SHE THERE?” Well if you need to know the location of various women, one’s about to batter your door down and kick you in the balls so hard you’ll never have another brat to read to.

 

[mdizzl3]

Ugh, I got into a debate with my manager’s manager about how one of the (many) reasons I don’t want kids is that it’s sexist from start to finish - the woman has to go through massive physical trauma, always seems to develop a stronger bond with the kid because of 1 year v.s. 2 weeks maternity leave and breastfeeding, and usually seems to end up the primary caregiver and sacrificing their career more. For example I know dozens of women part time, who gave up work or never worked, with rubbish pensions and no promotion in 10 years. Every big company has a senior board of mainly old men. I don’t know any men who work part time or don’t work at all. I know dozens of women who run themselves ragged while their husbands are deadbeat dads who spend more time at work, with the lads and pick up new weekend hobbies. He basically said it’s a figment of my imagination, I’m projecting my own emotional damage from my bad parents (bleeping rude) and it’s “their choice” to go part time and for his wife it “made sense”. Yes but if that choice is driven partly by hormones, societal messaging and expected gender roles then it’s not much of a choice is it? Like when people say it’s their choice to get lip filler - it is, but if you lived in a society that didn’t place a woman’s value on looks and didn’t constantly bombard you with messages saying thin lips are ugly/mean/a problem to fix, you likely would not have made that choice. Choices aren’t made in a vacuum.

Nice to be mansplained by an old white man that sexism doesn’t exist and I’ve made it up!

Oh and on breastfeeding and women being tied to the baby, he said it’s fine because you can pump if you want to go out. Using a machine to suck out bodily fluid from yourself so you can go to a party for a few hours, while your partner can live exactly how they were before? I’m sorry but I’m going to give all that a swerve. Maybe I should have been born as a man lol, these things you’re expected to do as a woman and “get on with” (like ripping your vagina in half without pain relief in order to become a carer) just sound horrendous to me.

 

[shadowcat5]

it’s not really a woman’s choice though is it because you can’t just waltz back to work after giving birth. It “made sense” for his wife to be at home because she was the one who did all the bleeping work to bring the child into the world in the first place.

side note but I bleeping hate when men comment on tit they know duck all about, especially when it pertains to women’s bodies and/or safety.

 

[Anne1448]

Ugh, I got into a debate with my manager’s manager about how one of the (many) reasons I don’t want kids is that it’s sexist from start to finish - the woman has to go through massive physical trauma, always seems to develop a stronger bond with the kid because of 1 year v.s. 2 weeks maternity leave and breastfeeding, and usually seems to end up the primary caregiver and sacrificing their career more. For example I know dozens of women part time, who gave up work or never worked, with rubbish pensions and no promotion in 10 years. Every big company has a senior board of mainly old men. I don’t know any men who work part time or don’t work at all. I know dozens of women who run themselves ragged while their husbands are deadbeat dads who spend more time at work, with the lads and pick up new weekend hobbies. He basically said it’s a figment of my imagination, I’m projecting my own emotional damage from my bad parents (bleeping rude) and it’s “their choice” to go part time and for his wife it “made sense”. Yes but if that choice is driven partly by hormones, societal messaging and expected gender roles then it’s not much of a choice is it? Like when people say it’s their choice to get lip filler - it is, but if you lived in a society that didn’t place a woman’s value on looks and didn’t constantly bombard you with messages saying thin lips are ugly/mean/a problem to fix, you likely would not have made that choice. Choices aren’t made in a vacuum.

Nice to be mansplained by an old white man that sexism doesn’t exist and I’ve made it up!

Oh and on breastfeeding and women being tied to the baby, he said it’s fine because you can pump if you want to go out. Using a machine to suck out bodily fluid from yourself so you can go to a party for a few hours, while your partner can live exactly how they were before? I’m sorry but I’m going to give all that a swerve. Maybe I should have been born as a man lol, these things you’re expected to do as a woman and “get on with” (like ripping your vagina in half without pain relief in order to become a carer) just sound horrendous to me.

I don't even understand how people like him have a partner?

Some women really pick the worst men out there. Can you imagine living with this guy and deciding to procreate with him?

The shackles that some women are willing to put on themselves

 

[Pebbleybeach]

Ugh, I got into a debate with my manager’s manager about how one of the (many) reasons I don’t want kids is that it’s sexist from start to finish - the woman has to go through massive physical trauma, always seems to develop a stronger bond with the kid because of 1 year v.s. 2 weeks maternity leave and breastfeeding, and usually seems to end up the primary caregiver and sacrificing their career more. For example I know dozens of women part time, who gave up work or never worked, with rubbish pensions and no promotion in 10 years. Every big company has a senior board of mainly old men. I don’t know any men who work part time or don’t work at all. I know dozens of women who run themselves ragged while their husbands are deadbeat dads who spend more time at work, with the lads and pick up new weekend hobbies. He basically said it’s a figment of my imagination, I’m projecting my own emotional damage from my bad parents (bleeping rude) and it’s “their choice” to go part time and for his wife it “made sense”. Yes but if that choice is driven partly by hormones, societal messaging and expected gender roles then it’s not much of a choice is it? Like when people say it’s their choice to get lip filler - it is, but if you lived in a society that didn’t place a woman’s value on looks and didn’t constantly bombard you with messages saying thin lips are ugly/mean/a problem to fix, you likely would not have made that choice. Choices aren’t made in a vacuum.

Nice to be mansplained by an old white man that sexism doesn’t exist and I’ve made it up!

Oh and on breastfeeding and women being tied to the baby, he said it’s fine because you can pump if you want to go out. Using a machine to suck out bodily fluid from yourself so you can go to a party for a few hours, while your partner can live exactly how they were before? I’m sorry but I’m going to give all that a swerve. Maybe I should have been born as a man lol, these things you’re expected to do as a woman and “get on with” (like ripping your vagina in half without pain relief in order to become a carer) just sound horrendous to me.

Some women can’t pump, some babies won’t take a bottle

 

[candyland_]

I’m a mum to a teenager but I agree with most of the posts on this thread

I really dislike other kids. I’ve been around a lot over the years and 99% of the time horrible kids behaviour is down to the parents not bothering with them. They don’t teach them to behave, they never eat properly and they live on iPads.

 

[HeyBabes]

My workmates have finally (after 9 years) accepted I don’t want kids, so now they’ve changed from “when are you having kids.” To “ when are you getting married.” mr heybabes and I went on hols just before Xmas and coming back to work in Jan it was constant “did he pop the question?” “Did he put a ring on it?”
Whats this obsession with harassing people about what they should/shouldnt be doing with their lives?

 

[whocarez]

My workmates have finally (after 9 years) accepted I don’t want kids, so now they’ve changed from “when are you having kids.” To “ when are you getting married.” mr heybabes and I went on hols just before Xmas and coming back to work in Jan it was constant “did he pop the question?” “Did he put a ring on it?”
Whats this obsession with harassing people about what they should/shouldnt be doing with their lives?

Yes! why should it bother them if your partner give you jewellery.. My guy has made more real promises worth more to me than any sheet of paper and change of name.
But people still don't understand that we're happy the way we are.
I hope they butt out for you real soon

 

[Saddlesoap]

I’m a vet nurse and I had a lady visiting for an appointment with her cat this morning. She brought her little girl in with her (I’d say around five years old) who spent the entire consultation screaming she was bored when I was trying to talk. The mum made no effort to tell her to be quiet, she just said if she waited a bit longer she’d give her some sweets?! Why are parents such pushovers these days? I would’ve never dreamed of interrupting my mum as a child if she was talking to another adult, especially a professional like a doctor/nurse.

I managed to distract the screaming brat with some cat toys and then the woman asked if I had kids. I said no and she was like “why not? You’re great with them!” Firstly, intrusive much? Secondly, I’m fairly sure there’s more to parenting than waving ping pong balls at them?

Haha as if you're in this thread as well. We definitely should be mates IRL

I hate kids in my consult room. If you have to bring them, fine, but tell them to sit down and shut up. I had a teenager-ish once totally freaking out that I was injecting the animal (a vaccine) and how she was *terrified* of needles. No you're not love, or you would have waited outside, you're attention seeking.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

My workmates have finally (after 9 years) accepted I don’t want kids, so now they’ve changed from “when are you having kids.” To “ when are you getting married.” mr heybabes and I went on hols just before Xmas and coming back to work in Jan it was constant “did he pop the question?” “Did he put a ring on it?”
Whats this obsession with harassing people about what they should/shouldnt be doing with their lives?

People are rude and nosey! Depending on what country people live in and their own personal situation marriage can have many benefits, I think all committed couples in England should be married/have a civil partnership. How many couples do I tell they should get married? None! I never ask if people are engaged after holidays or special occasions, I never give advice I’m not asked for, I never tell people how to live their lives. Your life, your business!

 

[mdizzl3]

Yes! why should it bother them if your partner give you jewellery.. My guy has made more real promises worth more to me than any sheet of paper and change of name.
But people still don't understand that we're happy the way we are.
I hope they butt out for you real soon

Yep - as a married woman, I actually I think I chose the decision for the wrong reasons. I wanted a dress/party/to be centre of attention and also come from a country where it’s the norm to get married early and if a man spends years with you without proposing he’s a timewaster! In TV shows from my country the average time between a couple meeting and getting engaged seems to be 5 episodes Obviously now I think this is bollocks but at 23/24 I believed it and slightly pressured him into proposing. I don’t regret it now but our relationship would be no different if we weren’t married.

If I had another partner I wouldn’t bother - it’s hassle and money for what? So you have contractual obligations to each other? I’ve just been given a sum of money from family and I’m keeping track of what I’m putting into the house because I wouldn’t want half of it gone in the event of a divorce.

Oh and diamond engagement rings were literally a marketing campaign from DeBeers as they had loads of (at the time) worthless diamonds to sell!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I have the opposite problem. Everyone I worked with just made me feel down about my wedding in the lead up. Constant comments of “I’ve done some daft things in my life, but that wasn’t one” and “it all ends in divorce anyway, it’s a waste of money”.

even now I’m married I’m still getting similar things. I must say I didn’t go on about my wedding, people would bring it up and make these comments, it wasn’t me talking about it all the time!

I got married because I never had a family growing up, I never felt like I belonged anywhere and when i met my now husband, it felt right for us to be a family and to be married.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

I have the opposite problem. Everyone I worked with just made me feel down about my wedding in the lead up. Constant comments of “I’ve done some daft things in my life, but that wasn’t one” and “it all ends in divorce anyway, it’s a waste of money”.

even now I’m married I’m still getting similar things. I must say I didn’t go on about my wedding, people would bring it up and make these comments, it wasn’t me talking about it all the time!

I got married because I never had a family growing up, I never felt like I belonged anywhere and when i met my now husband, it felt right for us to be a family and to be married.

Sounds like they want to be married and are trying to convince themselves they don’t! Happy people are happy for people

 

[Princesst]

I think a lot of people just love to find issues with what other people are doing or not doing because they’re so unhappy in their own lives. When I worked in an office environment that was 99% women I was totally unbothered by everyone around me and their kids and husbands/partners/lives. Could not care less. So it made me a weird alien novelty to them so would get questioned on EVERYTHING I did. I felt bad because I was actually happy in my relationship and being child free I didn’t have anything to moan about that would satisfy joining in their hatred of their partners and obsession with their kids/grandkids

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Sounds like they want to be married and are trying to convince themselves they don’t! Happy people are happy for people

Yeah I think they are probably quite bitter to be fair. All of them in their 50’s, one of them has been divorced because her ex left her for another woman and the other one has 6 kids with nearly all different dads and a series of failed relationships. The second one is bitter about everything though

 

[HeyBabes]

People are rude and nosey! Depending on what country people live in and their own personal situation marriage can have many benefits, I think all committed couples in England should be married/have a civil partnership. How many couples do I tell they should get married? None! I never ask if people are engaged after holidays or special occasions, I never give advice I’m not asked for, I never tell people how to live their lives. Your life, your business!

For me personally marriage is a sore point, I was in a 10 yr relationship with my ex, who told my family he was going to propose, then 3 months later left me for someone else. I’ve been with mr HeyBabes for 5 years now, I want that sort of commitment, but I’m terrified of the same thing happening and ending up heartbroken again

 

[Pebbleybeach]

For me personally marriage is a sore point, I was in a 10 yr relationship with my ex, who told my family he was going to propose, then 3 months later left me for someone else. I’ve been with mr HeyBabes for 5 years now, I want that sort of commitment, but I’m terrified of the same thing happening and ending up heartbroken again

That’s completely understandable. Past trauma will affect decisions like that. I was married to someone who on our honeymoon sat me down and told me he lied about being childfree because he ‘knew’ that when women got married they changed their minds and wanted kids and so I shouldn’t be scared of telling him I wanted them now because he wanted them too and when should we start. I was VERY scared to get married again after a marriage that lasted less than 3 days and I spent my whole honeymoon after my second wedding on edge!

Because you do want to get engaged again, I hope one day you’re able to.