Oh my god what an awful person to do that! Do they think it’s like a switch? Soon as a wedding ring is placed on our fingers we suddenly change our minds and wants kids?! I’m glad things are going well for you now, but that must have been awful
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I think it's cause in society marriage and kids go hand in hand. So to want one and not the other is seen as 'bizarre'
ETA: We'll add that to the list of things we're not supposed to bother with if we don't have kids:
List is now as follows: disney, christmas, halloween, nutrition and (now) marriage.
THIS!!! People at my office joke about it all the time, how I'm "hardly in the office" (when I'm actually the only full-time office based person here, funnily enough). I did a short 4 day break to the US and people were shocked, "you're ALWAYS off somewhere!!"....yes?? That's what I like to do with my time and money?I can relate! I almost feel like I have to play down or feel ashamed of my multiple holidays a year. I don't want them to think I'm showing off or rubbing it in
That’s exactly what he thought! Worst thing is we had been friends since we were 11 and he had been part of my life when I ended relationships with people who wanted children, he just ‘knew’ marriage was the thing that would make it different. His family were absolutely furious with him, he moved away and rarely sees them, and now decades later he’s single with no kids
I didn't get married until after we'd been together 20 years and I'm too old to have kids
I'm now that person though goes on at people who've been together forever and "doesn't need a piece of paper" to seriously think about getting married or a civil partnership, having seen a close friend go through trying to sort their life out after their partner died and having no rights at all because they just co-habited, it really shows how much easier that bit of paper can make things at such a stressful time.Sorry if this is slightly off-topic, please send me away if so but hopefully you'll see the link here!
I am childfree and single, I live alone and am very happy with my lifestyle. If I meet someone some day, so be it, but I don't feel like I am missing anything in my life (a pay rise wouldn't hurt). I have a great group of (childfree) friends, we holiday together regularly, I am close with my family.
Recently, my Dad was talking how he hopes to retire soon - which of course I fully encourage, he's worked for 44+ years. However he made a comment that he wants me to be "settled down" first (i.e. with a partner that can 'look after' me??). I said to him, what if I never get into a relationship? I'm content with the people I have in my life. He said "I will always be here for you", which is lovely of course, but it made me a bit uncomfortable as now I feel a pressure that he won't be happy retiring until I am "settled down"?
I'm sure others here have also experienced comments from their parents about their lifestyle choices. I'm just hoping I can convince him I am just fine!!
I am childfree and single, I live alone and am very happy with my lifestyle. If I meet someone some day, so be it, but I don't feel like I am missing anything in my life (a pay rise wouldn't hurt
). I have a great group of (childfree) friends, we holiday together regularly, I am close with my family.Recently, my Dad was talking how he hopes to retire soon - which of course I fully encourage, he's worked for 44+ years. However he made a comment that he wants me to be "settled down" first (i.e. with a partner that can 'look after' me??). I said to him, what if I never get into a relationship? I'm content with the people I have in my life. He said "I will always be here for you", which is lovely of course, but it made me a bit uncomfortable as now I feel a pressure that he won't be happy retiring until I am "settled down"?
I'm sure others here have also experienced comments from their parents about their lifestyle choices. I'm just hoping I can convince him I am just fine!!
We’d been together five years when he proposed & 7 when we got married. I think it was a good move for us for the reasons you have listed.I didn't get married until after we'd been together 20 years and I'm too old to have kids
I just wanted things to be simple if anything did happen to one of us.
That is lovely to be fair, although I can see why you might find it a little over bearing, but maybe he’s just old fashioned? My dad doesn’t give a hoot whether I’m alive or dead, let alone care about my security & happinessSorry if this is slightly off-topic, please send me away if so but hopefully you'll see the link here!
I am childfree and single, I live alone and am very happy with my lifestyle. If I meet someone some day, so be it, but I don't feel like I am missing anything in my life (a pay rise wouldn't hurt
Recently, my Dad was talking how he hopes to retire soon - which of course I fully encourage, he's worked for 44+ years. However he made a comment that he wants me to be "settled down" first (i.e. with a partner that can 'look after' me??). I said to him, what if I never get into a relationship? I'm content with the people I have in my life. He said "I will always be here for you", which is lovely of course, but it made me a bit uncomfortable as now I feel a pressure that he won't be happy retiring until I am "settled down"?
I'm sure others here have also experienced comments from their parents about their lifestyle choices. I'm just hoping I can convince him I am just fine!!
My mum kept saying “you won’t have anyone to look after you when you’re old”. Thanks mum, nice to know you birthed a daughter so that I can wipe your ass in old age
There’s a single by choice thread on here somewhere as well!Sorry if this is slightly off-topic, please send me away if so but hopefully you'll see the link here!
I am childfree and single, I live alone and am very happy with my lifestyle. If I meet someone some day, so be it, but I don't feel like I am missing anything in my life (a pay rise wouldn't hurt
Recently, my Dad was talking how he hopes to retire soon - which of course I fully encourage, he's worked for 44+ years. However he made a comment that he wants me to be "settled down" first (i.e. with a partner that can 'look after' me??). I said to him, what if I never get into a relationship? I'm content with the people I have in my life. He said "I will always be here for you", which is lovely of course, but it made me a bit uncomfortable as now I feel a pressure that he won't be happy retiring until I am "settled down"?
I'm sure others here have also experienced comments from their parents about their lifestyle choices. I'm just hoping I can convince him I am just fine!!
Perfect, thank you!!
No problem! It might help you to get help/advice/support from both childfree and partnerfree people who have had family worry about them for either one, or both, of those things.
Are you living in a country where women are expected to "settle down"?I'm sure others here have also experienced comments from their parents about their lifestyle choices. I'm just hoping I can convince him I am just fine!!
I grew up in France but now live in Ireland and no one cares about your relationship status.
Additionally, a parents' opinion on one's life choices is only viewed as important when it comes to minors. I have a great relationship with my mother but I can't imagine taking her opinion to heart when it comes to something which only affects my life.
What next to the list? Sex? Well what's the point if its not for making kids?
For a few years now I've been going to a safari park (like Longleat) for my birthday with my Dad, and I've been told by numerous people that it's "weird" because it's "for kids"
I would bleeping love someone legitimately to tell a childfree person they wouldn't bother with sex if they didn't have kids. I would bleeping love itWhat next to the list? Sex? Well what's the point if its not for making kids?
It's animals!!!!For a few years now I've been going to a safari park (like Longleat) for my birthday with my Dad, and I've been told by numerous people that it's "weird" because it's "for kids"
Will add safari/zoos/animal parks to the list as well. Shall I just go the whole way and add aquariums too as they are basically the same and probably 'for kids'?
I must be really weird then. I go to Chester Zoo as often as I can with just my husband!For a few years now I've been going to a safari park (like Longleat) for my birthday with my Dad, and I've been told by numerous people that it's "weird" because it's "for kids"
We moved quickly at the beginning but got engage after 7 and married after 12. We had a small personal wedding but it was more for legalities as his family are crazy and I was not legally his next of kin.I didn't get married until after we'd been together 20 years and I'm too old to have kids
I want to go to lego land, I hate the idea that it's weird but at the same time do not care. We went to the Jurassic World exhibition last week it was great.I must be really weird then. I go to Chester Zoo as often as I can with just my husband!
What next to the list? Sex? Well what's the point if its not for making kids?
From what I can see it's people with kids who aren't having sex instead of us childfree people, as all I hear from my friends with kids is that they're constantly exhausted or they have x amount of kids sharing their bed every night. One of my friends is still breastfeeding her almost four year old. She has two others as well, the eldest is eight and she and her husband have been in separate beds since the eldest one was born as she had them all in bed with her due to breastfeeding and her husband ended up in the spare room.
My ex SIL had bored everyone solid telling us that she HAD to get pregnant as soon as she got married. She got married in September and was pregnant by October. She told me they didn't have sex on their wedding night or honeymoon as there was "No point as my ovulation period in September had already passed so I didn't bother"!
Me and my husband do the same! We are members, it’s a lovely place for a walk & a picnic and then we sometimes go to Cheshire oaks after for a meal!I must be really weird then. I go to Chester Zoo as often as I can with just my husband!
We’ve been slagged off loads for it. I don’t think kids appreciate zoos personally!
Last time I went to the zoo with my niece and nephew, they just wanted their tablets the whole time!
There is a farm place near me which has banned adults going by themselves incase they are paedos
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