Childfree by choice #5

[judgejohndeed]

Are any of you only children? Do you guys think being an only child vs having siblings influenced your decision?

I have a couple of siblings and we've always been really close. I think that has kind of influenced my decision in the sense that I used to think I could probably be persuaded to have one child, but I really don't want to do pregnancy/birth/mat leave twice or more (and now, not even once, ha) and I wouldn't want to have an only child as it sounds like it must be really lonely (not saying that's the wrong or right choice for everyone btw, I know loads of people who aren't close with their siblings, just saying for me with my siblings being my best friends it isn't something I'd want to do)

 

[judgejohndeed]

I know I’m going to hell but I don’t agree with parent and child car parking spaces so I park in them myself (without a kid in tow of course unless you class my dog).

My partner always does this! I don't have the balls, the glares from the Mums etc

 

[Your Da Sells Avon]

You can get a local anaesthetic injection/gel or you can even get it under a general anaesthetic if needed. Next time I’ll def ask for a local it’s totally worth the momentary discomfort for 10 years of no worries. Big selling point with me is that’s it’s got no hormones. I found I put on weight and had crazy mood swings on the pill.

Yeah it’s the no hormones that’s the appealing thing. I was on the pill for about 18yrs and then decided just to see how it was without it. Have been off it a year and lost a bit of weight & I think my moods are actually better. My husband & I just use condoms at present but I guess at the back of my mind you’re worried something could go wrong with them. I’m bad with smears so I just don’t know if I could bite the bullet and get the coil.. I tried to watch a video recently on Instagram of some blogger getting one fitted and even the grimacing she was doing was making me feel weak!

 

[Jane Porcupine]

I am curious what bc you all use to prevent pregnancies? I've been on Depo for over a decade... Controversial I know! But it also is the only medication that minimizes my endo symptoms. My gynecologist and Dr are not worried about me being on it long term as they've said the "worrying" studies about bone density are very outdated. I've never had any issues on it. I'm actually so glad to never have a period . I did come off it for a couple of months and my period came back straight away and it was fucking horrible. I got so used to not having one, I would hate to have it every month. Lmao.

Same. Been on it for almost 20 years and never had any issues. I've also spoken to numerous medical professionals about the long term 'side effects' and been told the same as you. It gets a lot of hate though so I guess it's not compatible with a lot of people!

I did the same as you and came off it for a while because I'd read all this stuff about how important it is to 'be in tune with your body' and track your periods. It had been so long I'd forgotten just how vile my periods made me feel, they are so painful I actually vomit with the pain. So yeah, no thanks.

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

I am curious what bc you all use to prevent pregnancies? I've been on Depo for over a decade... Controversial I know! But it also is the only medication that minimizes my endo symptoms. My gynecologist and Dr are not worried about me being on it long term as they've said the "worrying" studies about bone density are very outdated. I've never had any issues on it. I'm actually so glad to never have a period . I did come off it for a couple of months and my period came back straight away and it was fucking horrible. I got so used to not having one, I would hate to have it every month. Lmao.

Implant in my arm. I'm on my third and love it. I get periods occasionally, but nowhere near as bad as they were - I don't pass out from low iron anymore!

 

[ElectricDreams]

I'm on the pill (desogestral). I haven't had a proper period in years, it's brilliant! Downside is I forget to take it occasionally but as my partner lives 100 miles away, it's not too much of an issue keep meaning to ask about alternatives so that I don't have to remember, but I don't want to risk having periods again and I know I might on something else.

 

[ElectricDreams]

I went to the cinema once, I can't remember what it was I went to see but it wasn't a kids film. In the row in front of us was a group of kids aged between 5-10 years old and no adult. From what I could gather there was an adult with them but she was sitting on the other side of the cinema and kept getting up and going out for long periods. Anyway these kids had every type of snack you could think of, nachos, slushies, sweets, ice cream and they hardly touched any of it, there was more on the floor than had actually been eaten. They spent most of the film getting up, running around to change seats and going to the toilet then left about 20 mins before the end. The film wasn't really appealing or appropriate for such young kids so I've no idea why they were there and why the adult wasn't supervising them. I got the impression that they were moving between screens and had spent most of the day there!

Needless to say it ruined our trip to the cinema and probably that of the rest of the people in the theatre as well.

 

[cc_2013]

We should arrange a child free meet up! I’m 25 and all my friends are starting to settle and have kids and I’m like guyyy can we not go the pub? Im near Manchester in the uk

We should arrange a child free meet up! I’m 25 and all my friends are starting to settle and have kids and I’m like guyyy can we not go the pub? Im near Manchester in the uk

Same here! I literally have zero social life and barely any nights out anymore! Can’t even go to the local pub I’m 29 and live in Yorkshire!

 

[penny1992]

Are any of you only children? Do you guys think being an only child vs having siblings influenced your decision?

Yes I am an only child. As a kid I was pretty independent and happy to play alone. I also wasn't keen on kids my own age when I was little, I found them annoying . I know plenty of childfree people that also have siblings though.

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

Had an interesting experience last night with a cab driver in the states (Boston) driving me to the airport
He asked if I had a family and I said yes my husband
Shocked he asked if I had children (cheeky fuck) and I said no I don’t want them
He told me…
I am selfish
Why would I deny my husband children
When we procreate it’s to have children so how do we stop this
That I will be lonely and regret it
And back to being selfish

arsehole

The brass neck on him!!! Does he have sex purely to impregnate someone?!

The only response to someone like this is something along the lines of "what a rude comment; what made you think that was an appropriate thing to say?"

 

[cc_2013]

I am curious what bc you all use to prevent pregnancies? I've been on Depo for over a decade... Controversial I know! But it also is the only medication that minimizes my endo symptoms. My gynecologist and Dr are not worried about me being on it long term as they've said the "worrying" studies about bone density are very outdated. I've never had any issues on it. I'm actually so glad to never have a period . I did come off it for a couple of months and my period came back straight away and it was fucking horrible. I got so used to not having one, I would hate to have it every month. Lmao.

I’m on the pill, I’ve been on the pill since I was 14 so over 15 years now. (Just realised that’s over half my life! ) I can’t even remember what it was like to not be on it x

 

[Zenchick101]

because parents don’t/aren’t allowed to/ are too scared to discipline their kids. They want to be their kids friend, so won’t say no to them. We live in such a shit world nowadays where the children are in charge. If I’d behaved like that as a kid I’d have gotten a slap, but then it would never have crossed my mind to hit either of my parents

nah I have to disagree - reasoning always worked better for me and I never hit my mum because she treated me as an actual human being. It's something else.. maybe I'm weird but I was only a brat to the parent who harshly disciplined me with no proper explanation

 

[Hellacopters]

Omg I could have wrote this myself! My husband was the same when we met, he just assumed that kids were a natural step. When I told him I didn’t want kids and he thought about it, he realised kids weren’t for him either. He now is more happy about being child free than I am! He’s always saying “god I’m glad we don’t have kids”.

Haha. Excellent

 

[Tangent Tiger]

I'm normally happy to be childfree but I did have a soppy moment earlier where I thought if I was younger I'd love to have loads of little babies with my adorable younger friend

He's in his 20s and I'm in my 40s, it must have been a funny 5 minutes!

 

[penny1992]

I've never questioned my decision not to have kids (43 now) but in the incredibly unlikely event that I ever did, that video would certainly remind me why I made that decision in the first place!
My idea of an absolute nightmare.

What a miserable existence

On the the whole deadbeat/cheating/fed up dad thing even though I’m not overly keen on my friends husband I could see why he was miserable after having a baby who is now like 3 despite him being more in favour and “pushing for it” As I can’t WAIT to get out their house to the point so hardly even visit anymore. He’s there every day with it. One snapshot of being there: the dad gets home from work at 6.30. Kids asleep. He isn’t allowed to shower as their old water tank makes loads of noise CANT WAKE THE TODDLER. Don’t go in his room HES ASLEEP!! He’s obviously not seen his son all day and leaves before he wakes up in the morning. Then my friend isn’t sure what’s left to eat as toddler wants such and such tomorrow and that’s all they had for tonight, can’t eat that, super ratty about it to the husband. My friend is in a terrible mood after being around the child all day as he’s clingy. Dad says well he can’t even go in the garden with the kid as he’s so attached to the mum he won’t leave her in the kitchen. so he’d be happy to play with him but can’t anyway he’s asleep. All 3 of us talking in whispers and tiptoeing round the house like imbeciles. The husband went to the toilet and sneezed outside the kids room. Kid wakes up . My friend went crazy about it. Shooed him off, went in and slammed the kids door. I finally made my excuses and got OUTTA THERE! It was like a secret club between mum & toddler & the dad wasn’t allowed a part of rather than an equal 2 way parent situation. That was the same guy who said to me the child had ruined their life and from that little snap shot i agreed!

Wonder how long it will be until he leaves.

 

[Tangent Tiger]

View attachment 1771527


Saw this on reddit and thought of this thread

Tempting...

 

[mdizzl3]

I also stopped playing with toys pretty early - I was a full-blown Runescape addict by about age 11, plus Playstation and Nintendo DS. I did have one of those beauty heads where you can do their hair/makeup though, that was fun!

 

[shadowcat5]

Number 1 for me but I love all of them

 

[shadowcat5]

I’m like this when I’m on holiday! I’m in Florida at the moment with my husband and we are literally eating whatever we want and spending whatever we want (within reason). We are always so sensible at home, but here we can just enjoy ourselves and do whatever we like. I feel like if I had kids I’d have to watch the money way more when on holidays!

have a fab time!

 

[ElectricDreams]

I’ve had the green man thing too! I get it that it must be mind numbing trying to train children to do literally anything, but how fucking dare they tell off a grown adult? I bet they don’t shriek at men who cross whenever they please.

When I was a childminder it was a massive bugbear of mine when I was walking the kids to school and we'd be waiting to cross a side road and the traffic would slow down and wave us across. I know they were only trying to be helpful, but it was a nightmare trying to reach the children to look both ways and wait until there was no traffic! But I never said anything, I'd just grit my teeth and thank them. Never ever happened when I was walking on my own!