At risk of sounding like a ginormous twit of a human here, I rarely agree to babysit. If I wanted to spend the little spare time I have with kids, then I'd have my own.That’s very unfair to put pressure on you like that, then make you feel guilty when you can’t babysit for them. You said it was because they had taken on work, but when you have children you should make sure you have childcare arranged before you accept extra work / social invitations or whatever it is. Not be scrambling around desperately trying to find someone at the last minute.
Plus, as child free people why do we have to be doing anything else for us to say no? Sometimes I just can’t be bothered, so when my brother asks me to have my nephew I say no and don’t give him a reason. Otherwise I feel as though I’m making excuses, and why should I? I don’t have to justify how I spend my time to anybody
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Exactly, it costs a lot to put animals in care for a holiday, and childcare is expensive. My partner has a cousin who palms her kids off on different family members most weekends and just kind of cycles between them all, meanwhile she goes out on the piss with her friends. I'm not begrudging her the odd night out, but why bother having children if you don't actually want to do anything with them at weekends? I just don't understand it. She doesn't even send them off with nappies or milk or anything, so there's even more cost for the other family members when looking after them. It's really cheeky.I hope I will grow a thick skin over timeI hate saying no but at the same time makes me pull even harder in the other direction when people get huffy. I don’t ask them to mind my dogs when I’m away for a weekend so don’t ask me to mind your kids please
I feel like I know loads of people with kids who are like this.
This was something that confused me about my mum and dad - they didn't actually seem to enjoy doing kids things, spending time playing with me or my brother - going on holiday they didn't take us to amusement parks, things like that. I genuinely don't know what joy they got out of parenting or if they just had children because its what you did! Whereas my husband's family, all their holidays, days out etc were based around things to do with kids.
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I love that. Your mum prefers you to be mentally well, yes!
I'm 21 soon and I've always realised that I couldn't see myself wanting kids. I knew even as a young girl I'd never dream about having kids. When I was about 10 or 11 my mum ended up babysitting my little cousin, by then I thought no way and I haven't wavered since. I know it sounds absurd to have known so young but my opinion hasn't changed in those 10 years.
I'm like a reverse Marie Kondo where I get a lot of joy in saying no to things. I used to find it really challenging, but the more I did it, the easier it got - especially with the huffers and puffers as deep down, their response demonstrated that they knew they were taking the piss.I hope I will grow a thick skin over time
Saying no to others means I'm saying yes to me, a bit like not having kids
I had to learn the skill of saying no, no long explaining excuses why or reasons with apologies. Just simply no thanks or I am already busy.
Busy in my PJs watching Netflix and eating biscuits - is still busy time
or watching YouTube videos of my next adult only holiday 
Busy in my PJs watching Netflix and eating biscuits - is still busy time
or watching YouTube videos of my next adult only holiday Great thread! I'm not child free by choice but I'm really glad that I don't have any. Couldn't be doing with the noise, smell, expense, responsibility plus having to tell them at some point that the people they love will start to die off etc. Each to their own but I just don't understand why anyone would want to enforce another to grow up on an already over-populated planet.
Perhaps he should have had a vasectomy if he was so adamant he never wanted children though.I know it really is awful
Exactly, don't create reasons you can't, just say, 'oh sorry I have plans already'.I had to learn the skill of saying no, no long explaining excuses why or reasons with apologies. Just simply no thanks or I am already busy.
Busy in my PJs watching Netflix and eating biscuits - is still busy time
I am fortunate not to be asked to babysit, it is still a bugbear of mine when parents are never at home with their kids. What's the point of having them if you are going to expect other people to look after them. To me that suggests the child is simply a box tick.
Married
House Mini Baby Range Rover Eurgh.
I thought it was safe to return to FB after all the back-to-school pictures, but instead was a selfie of someone I know with her daughter. Her daughter was given her first detention so the mum took her out shopping afterwards to celebrate and all the fawning in the comments. Sweeping generalisation: I'm so disappointed in my generation and the lousy parents that have been churned out.
I've never been asked to babysit the benefits of having a working pattern where you can cite a late finish as an excuse.
and all the fawning in the comments. Sweeping generalisation: I'm so disappointed in my generation and the lousy parents that have been churned out. I've never been asked to babysit
the benefits of having a working pattern where you can cite a late finish as an excuse.I would have got bollocked for getting a detention, that in itself was enough of a deterrentI thought it was safe to return to FB after all the back-to-school pictures, but instead was a selfie of someone I know with her daughter. Her daughter was given her first detention so the mum took her out shopping afterwards to celebrate
I've never been asked to babysit
Cannot understand the mindset of people who think it’s cool to treat their children as though they’re their friends. It’s not doing anyone any favours.
This blurb from the end of this post made me chuckle 
A leading fertility doctor has called for contraceptives to carry warnings explaining the risk of leaving it too late to try to conceive.
'With cigarettes, you have health warnings about the adverse effects of smoking,' he explained, adding: 'You could have that on contraception.'
Which begs the question: what exactly are the adverse effects of not having children?
Peaceful nights, disposable income and a lifetime of not worrying? Something tells me that's going to be a hard sell.
www.dailymail.co.uk
A leading fertility doctor has called for contraceptives to carry warnings explaining the risk of leaving it too late to try to conceive.
'With cigarettes, you have health warnings about the adverse effects of smoking,' he explained, adding: 'You could have that on contraception.'
Which begs the question: what exactly are the adverse effects of not having children?
Peaceful nights, disposable income and a lifetime of not worrying? Something tells me that's going to be a hard sell.
SARAH VINE: Prince Andrew 'can't remember meeting Virginia Giuffre'
SARAH VINE: Prince Andrew's response to the worsening situation in the case of Victoria Giuffre - who is now suing him in an American civil court - has been to burrow deeper into his mother's skirt.
So we had the conversation again over this friend of his who’s pregnant, and I reiterated again that if it really was non negotiable (because I might not change my mind) then I’d let him go and he said ‘but it’s not as simple as that, I can’t just find any woman to have kids with, it’s you I love’ so I guess that’s kind of reassuringHe’s not the only one who would be missing out on something, I really really want to get married, to me that’s more important than kids and that is what I imagine doing rather than having kids, but he doesn’t want to get marriedSo I’m also missing out on something but I’ve decided I can live with not getting married. So if he did decide that kids were non negotiable then I’d also be angry and upset from that point of view that I’ve decided to stay with him knowing I might never get married, but he’d be leaving because I don’t want kids. Hmm maybe we really shouldn’t be together
we’ve survived lockdown, but I’ve really been thinking about the big stuff recently, I feel like I’m changing and our relationship is changing too which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but why is life so complicated??
A small rant on the topic of bad parents: the other night I got home quite late from work (11:30 ish) with my hands absolutely full of papers, laptop, some dinner etc. So I accidentally - and it really was a complete accident - let one of the doors to my building slam. And by slam, it’s a fire door, so it’s not like a huge slam anyway, it’s just slightly louder than I would’ve done on purpose if that makes sense. Cue the annoying man downstairs immediately flying out to moan that I’ve slammed the door when his kids are sleeping and have school…the same kids that he lets screech underneath my window during the work day (at 4pm onwards if I’m working from home) and were outside yelling ‘AHhhhhhHhhhHhhHhHh’ at 8am on a Sunday yesterday. Talk about double bloody standards 
Some people are utterly oblivious. I hate it when parents allow their children to screech and scream, there's playing noise, and then there's being a nuisance.
It’s the entitlement, everyone else has to be silent to suit their needs but god forbid they consider anyone else around them!
We have an ongoing issue with a neighbour opposite us. We have 2 cars, they have a car and a van. My husband is disabled - amputee, heart failure, issues with vision. If my husband DARES to park on their front they go absolutely ballistic. We have had to call the police over it before. Their reasoning - "We HaVe To GeT tHe KiDs OuT oF tHe Car" Sorry - didn't realise your 2 brattish toddlers couldn't be carried more than 150 yard. Don't mind me, I'll just get the whole shitting wheelchair out because it is too far for by hubby to walk, just so your shitting kids aren't slightly inconvenienced!
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