New thread to talk about being childfree by choice.
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Anyone else here watch love island yesterday? For those who didn’t, the couples had to look after those realistic robot baby doll things that scream and cry and need looking after. It looked awful!!! And this might sound harsh but watching the guys who were super paternal gave me the ick
Hearing guys talk about how many kids they want is one of the biggest turn offs for me. Unless the answer is zero
Hearing guys talk about how many kids they want is one of the biggest turn offs for me. Unless the answer is zero
Yes, had to keep muting it as that sound goes straight through me. Definitely would’ve dunked mine in the pool tbhAnyone else here watch love island yesterday? For those who didn’t, the couples had to look after those realistic robot baby doll things that scream and cry and need looking after. It looked awful!!! And this might sound harsh but watching the guys who were super paternal gave me the ick
Hearing guys talk about how many kids they want is one of the biggest turn offs for me. Unless the answer is zero
Jake when he was saying he wants either 2 or 5 kids because if you have 3 you might as well have 4 and if you have 4 you might as well have 5… righty-oh well when it's your vagina you can decide what you 'might as well' have coming out of it mate! I didn't like him anyway but now I really don't like him!Anyone else here watch love island yesterday? For those who didn’t, the couples had to look after those realistic robot baby doll things that scream and cry and need looking after. It looked awful!!! And this might sound harsh but watching the guys who were super paternal gave me the ick
Hearing guys talk about how many kids they want is one of the biggest turn offs for me. Unless the answer is zero
It’s the worst episode every year for me, can’t stand it. Last night’s was particularly bad for all the reasons you say - the crying was just so loud, and those lads going on and on about all the kids they wantAnyone else here watch love island yesterday? For those who didn’t, the couples had to look after those realistic robot baby doll things that scream and cry and need looking after. It looked awful!!! And this might sound harsh but watching the guys who were super paternal gave me the ick
Hearing guys talk about how many kids they want is one of the biggest turn offs for me. Unless the answer is zero
I think it was Liam saying he wants a girl who’ll be a “princess” and two boys to look after her… ffs 
Ugh yes, their comments were making my skin crawl 
like how they said they couldn’t wait to have a ‘mini me’ they could dress up
In other childfree discussions, I’ve seen people mention that a lot of men just want the ‘Kodak moments’. In other words all the ‘special’ moments you’d see in a Kodak ad, like blowing out the candles on their first birthday cake, teaching them to ride a bike, sending them off to their first day of school etc. But they don’t actually want to deal with any of the real tit that comes with having a child. And I really agree. It’s easy for these men to say they want 5 kids as if it’s nothing…but the reality
like how they said they couldn’t wait to have a ‘mini me’ they could dress upIn other childfree discussions, I’ve seen people mention that a lot of men just want the ‘Kodak moments’. In other words all the ‘special’ moments you’d see in a Kodak ad, like blowing out the candles on their first birthday cake, teaching them to ride a bike, sending them off to their first day of school etc. But they don’t actually want to deal with any of the real tit that comes with having a child. And I really agree. It’s easy for these men to say they want 5 kids as if it’s nothing…but the reality
I worked with a man who had two grown up boys with his ex and was with a younger woman who didnt want kids really (not sure if because she was childfree or 19Ugh yes, their comments were making my skin crawl
In other childfree discussions, I’ve seen people mention that a lot of men just want the ‘Kodak moments’. In other words all the ‘special’ moments you’d see in a Kodak ad, like blowing out the candles on their first birthday cake, teaching them to ride a bike, sending them off to their first day of school etc. But they don’t actually want to deal with any of the real tit that comes with having a child. And I really agree. It’s easy for these men to say they want 5 kids as if it’s nothing…but the reality
) anyway he was trying to tell her how great it'd be if they had kids because he loved being a dad and she'd get lots of time to herself cos he was still involved with some football team his kids had played on or something so their kids could join WHEN THEY WERE ELEVEN. So she has to grow, birth and raise kids she doesn't want for 11 years and then she'll get Saturday afternoons off 
Well indeed - I’d wager they’ll have their Kodak moments but the second there’s any actual parenting to be done it’ll be a swift handover to the mother, while they bask in the glory of all the compliments about what a great father they areUgh yes, their comments were making my skin crawl
In other childfree discussions, I’ve seen people mention that a lot of men just want the ‘Kodak moments’. In other words all the ‘special’ moments you’d see in a Kodak ad, like blowing out the candles on their first birthday cake, teaching them to ride a bike, sending them off to their first day of school etc. But they don’t actually want to deal with any of the real tit that comes with having a child. And I really agree. It’s easy for these men to say they want 5 kids as if it’s nothing…but the reality
There's some research that supports this. A lot of fathers do the 'easy' stuff that will probably make good memories in the future while the mother has the full responsibility for the child and those 'good' moments are overshadowedIn other childfree discussions, I’ve seen people mention that a lot of men just want the ‘Kodak moments’. In other words all the ‘special’ moments you’d see in a Kodak ad, like blowing out the candles on their first birthday cake, teaching them to ride a bike, sending them off to their first day of school etc. But they don’t actually want to deal with any of the real tit that comes with having a child. And I really agree. It’s easy for these men to say they want 5 kids as if it’s nothing…but the reality
Generally, when people talk about their kids as if they're 'mini-me's just really turns me off. Makes children sound like some sort of accessories
This is what I always think when my boyfriend says he wants kids…do you really want kids or do you want a perfect idealised life with kids? He gets stressy when I bring up the possibility they might be difficult or have a disability and says I’m overly negative but I’m just realistic. After two weeks he’ll be back to work and I’ll be left holding the baby quite literally!
Do you have pets? Can you get a robot baby?
No pets and to be honest I really don’t even want to try with a fake baby
Just hand him the robot baby and go away for a week! It'll be left in the shed or something after about an hourNo pets and to be honest I really don’t even want to try with a fake baby
Oh my God! This reminds me of my ex-boyfriend
We were together for close to 2 years and both talked about not wanting kids. I was so happy that I finally had a partner who saw eyes to eyes with me. Then all of a sudden he talked about having 4 kids. I was shocked about the 180 so I asked him to babysit his brother with me to see if we could manage. Thank God I realized that it was not for me. But it still angers me that he thought that I should just pop out 4 human beings as if it was nothing
Men do not realize the physical and mental impact that a pregnancy has on a woman. Let's not forget to mention the countless women who are single mothers even though they have a partner.
I recently found out someone I know is pregnant, the baby was a happy accident (I don’t know what the correct term for this is - not planned? But she’s happy about it, not throwing shade here at all) and they’re moving city to buy a house. But the partner wants to carry on commuting to this city, so he’ll be doing well over an hour there and then again back in the evening. She’s already said she’s worried that she’ll never see him and she doesn’t want to be stuck alone with the baby all the time. It makes no sense to me people like this tbh, he’s obviously not going to be there and she’s already saying she’s not going to be happy about it? I feel vicariously nervous for her tbh
I love that we are on the second thread !
Ooh, I didn't know this was here until I saw it mentioned in another thread - going to go back and read the first one in a minute.
I'm in my mid 40s and knew from about 5 that I didn't want children - I have a very clear memory of a friend being really excited because she was allowed to go and see their neighbour's new baby that evening and I just couldn't understand why that was remotely interesting. I've never had a maternal urge in my life and 2 dogs, 3 horses, a flock of sheep and a husband is quite enough to be looking after without adding children into the mix!
I'm in my mid 40s and knew from about 5 that I didn't want children - I have a very clear memory of a friend being really excited because she was allowed to go and see their neighbour's new baby that evening and I just couldn't understand why that was remotely interesting. I've never had a maternal urge in my life and 2 dogs, 3 horses, a flock of sheep and a husband is quite enough to be looking after without adding children into the mix!
Living the dream
I’ve noticed when mum leaves kids with dads at work it’s all “oh, don’t mind the noise, I’m daddy day care today… *interruptions* “kids, get these sweets and go play with your iPad, your mum will be home soon”…” but women will be on calls with a child hanging off them and are not even distracted.
I think you’ll enjoy the section of the first thread where we discuss what we did with dolls that poor unsuspecting but well meaning people bought for us when we were children
I've just got to the bit in June where someone asked about getting their tubes tied - I managed to get it done on the NHS in my late 20s, which I'm immensely grateful for and I don't think would happen now, I'd get fobbed off with a Mirena. I started asking my GP at around 23 for a referral, got refused, kept asking every six months when I had to go back to see him to get my prescription for the pill, and after four or five years of this the GP who took over from him when he retired got fed up enough to refer me. I then saw two different gynaecologists, who weren't very happy about the idea and eventually said that if I'd agree to attend a couple of sessions with a psychiatrist for evaluation then they'd do it if he agreed. So off I went to the psych, who had somehow got the idea that I wanted my entire womb and ovaries removed, so I spent most of the first session explaining that wasn't the case, and then in the second session he said he wanted to hypnotise me to see if there was some lingering childhood trauma that meant I didn't want kids. He failed to put me in a trance and was so annoyed by this that he sat on my notes for six months, refusing to hand them back to the gynacology side of things. In the end I wrote a really annoyed letter to the Primary Care Trust in charge, which ended with 'I understand that everyone is concerned about me making a life-changing decision at a relatively young age. But a 17-year-old getting pregnant and deciding to keep her baby is also a life-changing decision at a relatively young age and she doesn't have to work her way through two GPs, two gynaecologists and a psychiatrist to be allowed to make that decision.' I had an invitation for a pre-op assessment four weeks later. Best thing I ever did.I think you’ll enjoy the section of the first thread where we discuss what we did with dolls that poor unsuspecting but well meaning people bought for us when we were children
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