I’m petfree and I often get asked if I have pets after I’ve been asked if I have children and I get the same reaction from not wanting pets - why? How could you not want pets? They change your life? It’s unconditional love! EtcThis, but also having pets. It's like you HAVE to be caring for something to prove you're not a monster.
The job thing is really annoying too. My husband's sister is one of those who only ever wanted to be a mum and can't understand a different point of view. It's better now, but in the early years she'd always open a conversation with me with 'how's work?'. I'm not at all career minded and had never given that impression but it was literally like she couldn't think of ANYTHING else to talk to me about.
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Sorry to buck the trend, I’m an auntie/god mother and I genuinely love it. My nephews and nieces are more or less grown up mostly anyway. But i did love spending time with them. I also work professionally with children and their families too 
so yeah I don’t have an issue disliking children.
HOWEVER I still don’t want my own! I’ve seen very different people try to manage parenthood and urgh absolutely not for me. It’s much harder than many claim.
so yeah I don’t have an issue disliking children.HOWEVER I still don’t want my own! I’ve seen very different people try to manage parenthood and urgh absolutely not for me. It’s much harder than many claim.
I'm so glad to have this as a safe space. On holiday with my niece and nephew. I love them but I don't like spending lots of time with them. It's boring, they screech, cry and every single thing revolves around them. They are generally good kids and can be fun in small doses but I hate it when they get plonked on my lap, pulling at my hair, my necklace, my earrings. Legs and arms flailing. Children frighten me and stress me the duck out. I don't know how to act towards them. I feel such a horrible person saying this.
You're absolutely right, it feels like often we have to justify WHY our life is better without kids and the reasons we dare to be content with the day-to-day. It's definitely something put more on women - if we're not the world's best Mum, then we better be the world's best employee or do something big and momentous worth forgoing motherhood. The pressure is insufferable.
Also.....I already have a whole human to look after - me! I need to feed myself, wash myself, get myself dressed, motivate myself to sit through another meeting at work, teach myself new things, force myself to socialise, look after my mental well-being. It's so funny to me that parents have this "what do you do with all that time" slogan, as if there isn't ALWAYS things to be doing!
I had an auntie who wasn't really part of my life until I became an adult because she wasn't comfortable around children. It was just accepted in my family and I actually ended up having a nice relationship with her once I was an adult, but not quite the "normal" auntie/niece relationship.I have two nephews but I don’t consider myself an Auntie. I’ve never even bothered to go over to meet them and the oldest is 14I simply don’t like children and I’m comfortable with that.
I'm much more comfortable with my nephew now he's older and can entertain himself, I have actually had him in mine on wfh days when my sister needed a babysitter - me on my laptop working and him playing computer games all day.
I have an aunt who doesn’t like children, she’s irritated by them, she’s fine if they behave like adults though. So if you sat nicely and spoke nicely and was clean and tidy and played quietly or read she didn’t mind but shrieking, whining, mess, noise etc wouldn’t be tolerated. She’s one of my favourite aunts, actually all the kids loved her! She spoke to us like we were adults, we were given the same food as the adults etc and we all behaved so well when we went to her house.
my favourite aunt was exactly like this too! and now I'm turning into her
My sister has got it into her head that I looove auntie time with her two smalls (4 and 8) who are very noisy, annoying and quite badly behaved. I find them incredibly tedious, but don't have the guts to tell her.
Love this safe space. I don't want kids at all but imagine having a BOY 
like a disgusting smelly ten year old you can't relate to. At least girls are kind of cute and thoughtful 
like a disgusting smelly ten year old you can't relate to. At least girls are kind of cute and thoughtful I’m tired of seeing “if you don’t like being around screaming children in public you evidently want women forced to stay at home and not allowed to participate in public life” arguments. You are the one who thinks women exist to be mothers so spare me the faux-feminism
I don’t care if kids scream, I care when they scream unchecked. At least try and teach your child how to behave in public which is a very important life skill, needed for events, school and work. Teach them the park is for running wild and screaming and Tesco is for walking nicely and using inside voices to chat. That’s what my mum did and I’m not traumatised by having to behave nicely in certain places.
But telling children not to scream is bad apparently because "children just aren't built to sit down and be quiet!! Stop trying to force them to be like adults!!!!!!"
It does bother me when parents let their children do something actively dangerous in public e.g. a common one I see is letting them use scooters in the supermarket or on a busy road. If the child doesn't like being told not to use the scooter, well then, will they like being in hospital?
until they get older, once they get into their teens they are a nightmare...Love this safe space. I don't want kids at all but imagine having a BOY
my mother (parent of two girls) would agree
to be fair, and based on the conversation we had about gender roles and how women are assumed to be more maternal/nuturing, i don’t think it’s really helpful to assume girls are “easier” than boys because they’re gentler or stereotypically more thoughtful tbh. it does everyone a slight disservice
My objection to the screaming is that if a child is screaming for help, they might get ignored because it's become such a common noise. I have so many screaming, shrieking and shouting teens walking past my house on their way to and from school that I've started to ignore it, whereas I used to look out of my window because it genuinely sounded like someone might be in trouble. A teacher friend told me that their school has a strict 'no screaming' rule in the playground because of this - they don't want to become immune to screaming in case it's being done for a good reason.
Does anyone else’s decision not to have children stem from fear of having a child with disabilities or additional needs? So many children in my extended family have autism and I don’t know enough about it to say that it’s genetic, but I know for certain that I would not cope with a child who has additional needs. I have no doubt that parents of children with additional needs love their children very much but their lives look so difficult and unhappy.
If I could guarantee that my child would be physically healthy and able-bodied, without any additional needs then maybe, maybe I would consider having one, but the society we live in, and government we have is not supportive or capable of supporting anyone with extra needs and I can’t bear the thought of bringing a child into this kind of world.
I don’t think I’ve worded this very well and I truly don’t mean to offend anyone, I’m just clumsily trying to describe where my fear of having children comes from.
If I could guarantee that my child would be physically healthy and able-bodied, without any additional needs then maybe, maybe I would consider having one, but the society we live in, and government we have is not supportive or capable of supporting anyone with extra needs and I can’t bear the thought of bringing a child into this kind of world.
I don’t think I’ve worded this very well and I truly don’t mean to offend anyone, I’m just clumsily trying to describe where my fear of having children comes from.
I just don't want children, not for any real reason. However, because I wouldn't be able to cope with a child, never mind a child with any additional needs at all, I (and I'm sure my potential children) am really happy and grateful that I don't want children because there is obviously always a chance of any child I have having additional needs and it wouldn't be fair for that child to have me as a mother.
I wonder if people with children that have life limiting disabilities get asked who will look after them when they are old?
As I always say, I'm still on the fence but this is definitely a big fear. Wouldn't say it's the main reason though.
This is one of my big concerns, especially as I get older.
I always imagined I would have kids, but a dad with dementia and the pandemic delayed us even thinking about it, despite being married 10 years this year, owning our own house and a decent job each.
I'm now mid 30s and my husband is 43. I know risks for autism etc are higher with older parents, including older dads.
2 of my nephews have severe autism (one has the non-verbal, incontinent, will never function in society type) and the chance of this, as well as potential complications in birth that can lead to disablement it terrifies me.
This plus learning how little maternity pay I would get, plus the extortionate nursery fees, made me realise I value my life/lifestyle far too much to welcome a "normal" child let alone one that would need additional support.
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