Childfree by Choice #12 I care about my life, not my death.

[Interestingbitsnbats]

Thank you all for the support.

Woke up to a nasty review on our FB page which I expected. Apparently they wanted to make the owner aware of how awful the manager behaved towards them idiots

We got lots of great reviews too, and thankfully today we only had couples and one very well behaved child in. I don’t find children appealing whatsoever, but a young boy of about 7 asking if he could order another bowl of olives was pretty cute . It seems there are children out there who don’t expect chicken nuggets thankfully.

Hope you did one of them replies saying your kids were vandalising and that's why you where asked to leave. Or just ignore it that would make them more pissed and reply to the good ones x

 

[Popcornshovel]

At a train station, and there was only 1 ladies loo (out of 3) working. So I joined the queue. Woman and her precocious daughter about 8 yrs old join the queue...the girl whizzes past everyone and goes 'this one is working mummy' and presses on the (locked) door. OK, so maybe the girl doesn't know queueing rules yet, but the mum was meekly going 'no we have to wait our turn, come back and stand here' and the girl just ignores her and bangs on the door while someone is in there. And then says loudly at the door 'hurry up, everyone's waiting'. Poor woman in there who was trying to use the loo in peace!

Classic example of half hearted parenting where they don't really stand their ground or follow through, so the kid just ignores them and runs riot.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Omg I would be mortified if any child i was with did that. Same for vandalising the restaurant. What the duck is wrong with people?

 

[Popcornshovel]

Omg I would be mortified if any child i was with did that. Same for vandalising the restaurant. What the duck is wrong with people?

They just can't be bothered to have the hassle of their kids kicking off. So they'd prefer to let their be little vandals or totally embarrass them. And then the kids get worse and worse cos they have no boundaries.

 

[Colin]

I was on a flight the other day and two large Italian families were on it, six kids (cousins and siblings I'd guess) and four adults. The adults put the kids in two rows all next to each other and proceeded to go sit several rows ahead. I know random seating blah blah but actually all of their group were seated together so I don't buy it. Obviously the kids were climbing up the chairs, hanging off the lockers etc and ignoring the flights crew telling them to sit.

 

[Rambler20]

I feel really rude now but when I go to see a friend and a ton of kids turn up unannounced it really annoys me. I felt rude leaving early and it looked obvious, but I wasn't being listened to when I was speaking anyway because baby was present. (Also crying alot) other kids running and leaping about. Then the conversation has to turn to kids and then the adults start talking in a baby voice talking nonsense. It really annoys me. My mum said, well that's life and don't be rude. Well, I didn't go to see my friends grandkids I went to see her. It also went quiet when I said bye and they obviously knew I was annoyed by the kids. I really wish I was more tolerant but I couldn't wait to get out of there.

My friend wanted me to go and visit her around the 27th of December last year rather than go out and meet up like I wanted to. Reason was obviously she had family staying there and I was supposed to whoop over the newest grandsprog. I flat out refused, I think she got the message that IDGAF and met up with me instead out of her house.

 

[prozacprincess]

Hope you did one of them replies saying your kids were vandalising and that's why you where asked to leave. Or just ignore it that would make them more pissed and reply to the good ones x

I replied with a photo of my trashed planters and the cost of replacing the plants … they deleted their review an hour later

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

I replied with a photo of my trashed planters and the cost of replacing the plants … they deleted their review an hour later

Love this for you bravo xx

 

[peachesandcreamz]

How the eff do I respond to this... Friend (who I only see 1-2 times a year cos she's such a 'look at me' type) has messaged me saying that she's pregnant with her 3rd and is about to tell everyone in a girls group chat we're in. She's said 'wanted to message you privately first as didn't know if you'd be upset about baby news'.

I think she's assumed I've got fertility issues cos I've been married for a few years now.

Now I'm pouring over previous messages in the group chat to see if I've not come across as enthusiastic enough for other girl's announcements.

A few others on the group have kids and I like to think I'm always supportive of baby news, sending gifts and cards and asking how they're feeling when they're pregnant.

@Popcornshovel what came of this??

 

[CantHoldUsDown]

Always the parents for me. Kids and their behaviour are always a product of their parents ability to discipline. I really don't know where it all went wrong. It's my generation that seem to have messed up their kids... What was so bad about our parents parenting styles that makes people not want to parent in the same way?!

Because everything that the average late Gen X-er and Millenial have experienced is somehow trauma these days Hence they avoid the same parenting style as their parents at all cost, and now we experience.. well this nonsense....

As someone with actual diagnosed C-PTSD it grinds my gears so much how everything is exhaggerated, and then used as an excuse to avoid conflict, creating absolute monsters of children.
Oh you were told No regularly as a child? Oh how awful, of course you must now never say no to your child.
Oh you were forbidden to do x, y , z? Oh you poor thing, of course you must allow your child.
Every little thing apparently was "traumatizing" and people vowed to "never ever treat my child that way". And now the whole world suffers because of it.
There is a HUGE difference between strict parenting and abuse, and there is a lot of nuance and grey area between the two. But it's much easier and less stressful / less exhausting to just give into demands than to parent. After all they are sooo tired

 

[mdizzl3]

Yep - everything now is trauma and emotional damage. One of my punishments as a kid (I’m a millenial) was having my computer password taken away until I did my homework/chores first - according to a counsellor that is abuse…my parents were abusive because they restricted my tech access

 

[whoareyouu]

I feel like screaming. All the ladies at work talk about are their kids. I feel so alienated because I can’t relate

They will incessantly complain about them but then get offended when one of the young lads in the office says that having kids sounds tit and a chore.

 

[fishyfishfish]

Got stuck next to a screaming baby on the plane this morning - only when he was passed to dad as mum had him most of the time (thank god) and was sat across the aisle with their other two. Played peek-a-boo with him (the kid, not the dad) and he immediately stopped crying. Did the same when getting off the plane and it worked again.
It’s almost like some patentes don’t try at all?! And did he say thank you?? Did he duck.

 

[KeriRhys]

I replied with a photo of my trashed planters and the cost of replacing the plants … they deleted their review an hour later

 

[Popcornshovel]

@Popcornshovel what came of this??

I replied back with 'Of course I'm thrilled for you! Congrats, how are you feeling, when's the due date' etc etc. Just kinda glossed over her assuming I'd be upset.

And she replied to that with stuff about the pregnancy. But then the next message was asking me quite personal stuff about a health condition I had a year ago and whether I'm still on meds for it. Felt a bit odd when we haven't spoken for a while!

Looking back, I'm realising that she asks very direct questions which cross a line. Like she's asked me outright about my weight and salary before, and she once asked another friend what sex position she conceived her child with! She's also the kinda person who's always centre of attention (like threw a hissy fit at someone's baby shower and got into a drunken argumentative state at a wedding).

So I'm taking her message about if I'd be upset about her pregnancy announcement as part of this pattern of behaviour. Attention seeking/being nosy about others.

 

[ot55]

I’m on holiday at the moment and I’ve been blown away by the disregard some parents have for the safety of their children.

For example, earlier today I was on a ferry where the top deck is exposed. There was a railing around the edge and lots of benches. There were signs literally everywhere saying don’t stand on the benches. Yet there were so many parents getting their kids to stand on the benches for a better photo. If the boat had moved suddenly or those kids lost their balance, they easily could’ve gone over board.

Another example. I was up the Empire State Building on the outside viewing balcony bit. There’s glass, but it only goes so high. There are signs everywhere saying don’t let your children sit or stand on the walls/ledges. Once again, so many parents just not caring and too busy trying to get the ‘perfect’ photo. I saw a staff member telling a dad off for letting his kids stand on the wall, and this guy got soooo defensive. I don’t understand how they can care so little about protecting their kids.

 

[Popcornshovel]

I’m on holiday at the moment and I’ve been blown away by the disregard some parents have for the safety of their children.

For example, earlier today I was on a ferry where the top deck is exposed. There was a railing around the edge and lots of benches. There were signs literally everywhere saying don’t stand on the benches. Yet there were so many parents getting their kids to stand on the benches for a better photo. If the boat had moved suddenly or those kids lost their balance, they easily could’ve gone over board.

Another example. I was up the Empire State Building on the outside viewing balcony bit. There’s glass, but it only goes so high. There are signs everywhere saying don’t let your children sit or stand on the walls/ledges. Once again, so many parents just not caring and too busy trying to get the ‘perfect’ photo. I saw a staff member telling a dad off for letting his kids stand on the wall, and this guy got soooo defensive. I don’t understand how they can care so little about protecting their kids.

Wow! Seems like some parents see kids as accessories (for perfect photos) and not actual people.

 

[mousey]

I’m on holiday at the moment and I’ve been blown away by the disregard some parents have for the safety of their children.

For example, earlier today I was on a ferry where the top deck is exposed. There was a railing around the edge and lots of benches. There were signs literally everywhere saying don’t stand on the benches. Yet there were so many parents getting their kids to stand on the benches for a better photo. If the boat had moved suddenly or those kids lost their balance, they easily could’ve gone over board.

Another example. I was up the Empire State Building on the outside viewing balcony bit. There’s glass, but it only goes so high. There are signs everywhere saying don’t let your children sit or stand on the walls/ledges. Once again, so many parents just not caring and too busy trying to get the ‘perfect’ photo. I saw a staff member telling a dad off for letting his kids stand on the wall, and this guy got soooo defensive. I don’t understand how they can care so little about protecting their kids.

It’s like a poster mentioned earlier in this thread (and something I’ve seen myself in real life) - parents driving around with their children ‘loose’ in the back seat of their car. Parenting has gone so far into the let-the-kids-do-what-they-want area that their safety now becomes a second thought instead of the first.

It’s crazy to me that non-parents can see that the things they do could potentially harm these children, do parents just become blind to danger?!

 

[ElectricDreams]

I've just come across this, it's a very interesting perspective on childfreeness in South Korea. As much as I am happily childfree myself, I feel quite sad reading this because I can't imagine a life like this.

Why South Korean women aren't having babies

South Korea has spent billions to reverse its low birth rate, but some say it isn't listening to young women’s needs.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[sleepflowers]

I've just come across this, it's a very interesting perspective on childfreeness in South Korea. As much as I am happily childfree myself, I feel quite sad reading this because I can't imagine a life like this.

Why South Korean women aren't having babies

South Korea has spent billions to reverse its low birth rate, but some say it isn't listening to young women’s needs.

www.bbc.co.uk

There's an enormous gap in SK between men and women - huge amounts of women are swearing off any interaction with men at all because they're so terrible there! No marriage, no children, no dating, no sex. I think we should do it here tbh based on the men in the UK...

A World Without Men

The women of South Korea’s 4B movement aren’t fighting the patriarchy — they’re leaving it behind entirely.

www.thecut.com