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Lmao it’s soooo bad. I had to reread the first sentence twice before I figured out what she was trying to say.From the excerpt of her book;
"after dreaming a love done passed away unexpectedly"
"Love done"There's a typo in the FOURTH sentence!
She left school at 16. It’s no wonder why she lacks social skills and education most people have by her age.
What is "love done" supposed to be?
Loved one?
ohhh god. I’ve been trying to figure out what that was meant to say for ages. I thought it was almost like hillbilly talk ‘love done passed away’
Half time now- it's ok, but it seems a bit slow and most of the jokes aren't really landing. Fester/Wednesday/Lucas are a lot better than the previous run (in my opinion, their acting is 100% better). I paid £25 for the ticket and I wouldn't pay more than £30. The songs are good fun and sung really well too.
I don't mean to be rude, but why would you choose to read a book by her? I'm genuinely interested.
That's how people know it's her when she joins forums to defend herself by pretending to be one of her fans. She just can't help herself.
She's so goddamn wordy it's insane.
Eye rolling hard that she’s named a character ‘Joanie’I just read the first bit of her new book. OMG it’s bad. Really, really bad.
Oh no has she actually?! Very subtle.Eye rolling hard that she’s named a character ‘Joanie’
Waiting for the cringey descriptions of what Joanie's wearing:Eye rolling hard that she’s named a character ‘Joanie’
'Joanie walked into the room wearing a dress that made her look like a sexy librarian who could make you a cocktail - now only £40 on the website!'
Does she only go to shows she’s been in?
Well she was with her friend Scott Paige last night I think I saw and he’s in it isn’t he so assumed when she said she was going to the theatre it would be to see him. Fair play to her going out and keeping busy it will be good for herDoes she only go to shows she’s been in?
Just spat my tea out laughing at this post.
I’m now reading the whole thing with the accent of Ruth from Ozark in my head. Lawwwwwwwreeeeeelyyyyyyyy
Oh and an oxygen tank, cos blimey those sentences are loooooonnngggg.
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Someone warn the Chitty cast that she's on her way....Does she only go to shows she’s been in?
Lmao I didn't even pick up on that. Naming a character after her flop collabEye rolling hard that she’s named a character ‘Joanie’
. She can't write a book without inserting herself into every aspect of the storyHey now, be fair, maybe the character is an old timey prospector. "Love gone done passed me away dangnabbit, I do love me sum gold but it's aint half chilly at night"From the excerpt of her book;
"after dreaming a love done passed away unexpectedly"
"Love done"
I may have to buy the book simply to see how bad it is.
Done got me a goofball jig, and a Smiffys wig
Also I had a skim through the excerpt and gave the first paragraph my best attempt at a rewrite, I spent all of five minutes on this but it was quite a fun exercise, I suggest you all give it a go (see my attempt at improvement below:
"There was something about the small hours of the morning, something in the still and silence that cleared the mind. Call it the clarity that came from the fog lifting from yet another bad dream or call it the blessed quiet that came from the soft snores that drifted from Joanie's room, but five o'clock in the morning was Lorelai's sweet spot. The sharpness from her nightmares dulled to mere gruesome echo, but the tiredness from yet another broken night's sleep yet to settle in her bones.
At five o'clock in the morning all Lorelai needed was her notebook and her favourite pen. When she was once again chased from her dreams they would always be found on the worn old kitchen table. With pen in hand Lorelai was free, she could slip into any world, weave any tale. At five o'clock in the morning, Lorelai was free. "
"There was something about the small hours of the morning, something in the still and silence that cleared the mind. Call it the clarity that came from the fog lifting from yet another bad dream or call it the blessed quiet that came from the soft snores that drifted from Joanie's room, but five o'clock in the morning was Lorelai's sweet spot. The sharpness from her nightmares dulled to mere gruesome echo, but the tiredness from yet another broken night's sleep yet to settle in her bones.
At five o'clock in the morning all Lorelai needed was her notebook and her favourite pen. When she was once again chased from her dreams they would always be found on the worn old kitchen table. With pen in hand Lorelai was free, she could slip into any world, weave any tale. At five o'clock in the morning, Lorelai was free. "
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