Bit in bold: this is what people suffering from Limerence believe. They become infatuated with someone and that person's every interaction from then on is seen as something deep and meaningful. The person might say 'take care now' as someone leaves the pub/café and the other person sees that as a confirmation that they care about them. There was a long-running thread on Mumsnet (yes, I know) where posters discussed their stalking their Limerence Objects and it was all very bizarre and disturbing, so much so that Mumsnet deleted the thread and banned the posters. It wouldn't surprise me if Martha was one of them.
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What I remember him saying was that he felt sorry for her and feels that he can relate to her in certain ways re mental health.. He said that she was unwell and had empathy for her. This is partly why he kept putting off reporting her, and why he took her home from the bus stop at 3am..
I don’t believe that makes her a victim though, I’m wondering what she’s a victim of in Gadds situation?? I agree with was a victim of her childhood, but that’s not Gadds fault…
I feel this is probably what happened. He gave her a free cup of tea as he felt sorry for her and this ignited something in her, someone cared about her probably for the first time in a very long time. It seems maybe as a child she didn't feel much love or care and he showed her a small gratitude and she clung onto it. Because he didn't want to upset/enrage her he kept offering small gestures of care - getting her inside after she spent days in the bus stop for example (although this may have been dramatised). Also it's petty much human nature to care about others too, even if they are horrible at times. They probably did have a complex relationship, who doesn't? She also probably found it hard to distinguish a platonic relationship from a romantic one.
For example, I have a male friend who calls me beaut. If I read into it too much I'd think he was into me; he's not. I know that. But someone like Martha would take that at face value.
Delusions of grandeur also come to mind re FH after catching up on all her statuses.
For sure, tale as old as time. My radar for spotting them is usually pretty good (sadly, it’s had lots of practice!).
It won't help people calling her a lawyer when the law society confirmed that she was never a lawyer and never even trained as one, back in the year 2000 and she certainly has not been since.
Having a law degree does not make a lawyer there is alot more to it.
She in her poor mental state believes it and others write it as if it's fact and she has latched onto it over and over
One of the guys at work always says 'hiya gorgeous' when he sees me. He definitely doesn't fancy me, he's married and his husband is far more gorgeous than me
But I could see how someone naïve and inexperienced in ordinary social interactions could misinterpret a greeting like that as 'OMG he loves me!'
this! some people super maldaptively daydream about these things. i worked with a girl once who (any time we went for a team meal) would be convinced that the waiter/barman whoever was being flirty with her when they were usually just being a standard chatty hospitality person. but something in her was always like omg this guy is so into me! didn’t you think that guy was so flirty towards me?!
like you say, it makes sense that someone like martha would take all of these small acts of empathy as “evidence” of caring on a much deeper level and i suppose it’s sadly too easy to spiral from there, especially with her other issues.
Cluck Cluck 
And even if she has a CPN, my experience of a very similar person is that there is no treatment really. In my case the person was even sectioned briefly and that wasn’t enough, they swiftly challenged the section and were released (funnily enough, also a “former law professional”!)
I respect your POV and see where you’re coming from but I do see him as a victim I just don’t see him as being the only victim or only a victim (iykwim) I feel it’s a clash of personality/vulnerability and dysfunction. I’m going to stop yapping on but the fact he says she’s in his past and he isn’t concerned the show would trigger her again had people thinking she’s dead. So what happened? What has changed so much that he no longer fears her stalking? She doesn’t look like she’s changed, so has he? Asking why she went after him as opposed to someone else or why he went along with communication isn’t blaming it’s just looking to understand the dynamics.
I really believe her unpleasantness is part and parcel of her MH conditions. I’m bowing out because I want to have a laugh at her but I can’t unless she turns out to be a really resilient old battle axe. .
- Sent from my knocked-off TonePhone
I hadn't heard of maladaptive daydreaming before, but having read up on it, it describes how someone can go from fantasising about a relationship with someone, to actually believing they are in a relationship with them. Celebrities who have been the victims of stalkers for example - Harry Styles bought a homeless person some food, and that led to a horrifying series of events for the poor fella.
Harry Styles’ stalker admits breaching restraining order | The Independent
it’s an interesting thing! i used to get it (to varying degrees) as part of my ocd (not, i should stress, in the same way as stalking someone more about just daydreaming in general) and i guess you can see how the lines blur between fantasy and reality, especially for someone like martha whose “reality” maybe wasn’t a particularly nice place for her to be.
i suppose it’s more potent with a celebrity (especially with the current stan culture) because it’s easy to pretend you “know” them or that you have a connection with them. i always think that taylor swift sometimes plays a dangerous game with this but that’s maybe for another thread!
With respect, I didn't claim to. I just do not think you get to dictate how someone should respond to trauma.
I have the same mindset as you and i've been through the ringer in life. Very sorry to hear everything you've been through. And I also don't agree with people that wallow. But I don't think Gadd is wallowing. I think him making this show is him moving forward. This might be his way of releasing his emotions and getting through the trauma. He's made somehting positive out of his traumatic experinces. Yes, the response that's happened since the show isn't ideal for him or "Martha," but I don't think that should take away from the original message.
She is 100 PERCENT reading here
She has posted a lot, I’m not sure how we would ever keep up, 22 posts in the last 2 hours
Put her name in fb and press ‘posts’ hers are the first to come up. She’s relentless.
Allegedly an open secret in the comedy industry that it's his old producer GR
She is relentless. I’ve read so many of them in one go that I now automatically read them in her accent.
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