INSANE! What the duck is wrong with people. I bet there are more people like him in Hollywood ....
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
He's a nutjob.
If no one else saw, milk and honey said that he was horribly jealous of his male co stars, didn’t like Henry but she had met him and he’s a lovely man
An update to the Paige story on the DM says he carved the A into her pubic area. That must have been so bleeping painful.
Equally saw that he’s going to enjoy this notoriety. After all, it’s the most attention he’s ever had. I hate feeding it in that way. I really hope some kind of action is taken against him
Nothing legally will happen to him. He will say they all consented or that it was all a fantasy and he didnt do anything. Most rapists get away with it on that basis. I do think his career is dead, but that's as far as it will go, and he couldnt care less about that, I dont think. Women will still be in awe of him and do what he says until he hurts them so badly they see sense.
I saw Milkandhoneyroses. Sounds like he was jealous and possessive also, hence his dislike of any handsome male costar.
I've just learned that his mother tried to exorcise him recently, not as a child! Somebody posted a screenshot that shows it was last July or something. I'm trying to find it. Asides from his mother obviously knowing he is messed up, this in itself raises some questions about his family and the type of weirdness going on. Surely getting a psychiatrist would have been a better option? Not that he would have accepted one, maybe she did tell him to get help, who knows, but still...
edit: I found the screen shot- it was in 2020!
Anyway, I read this the other day and I thought it raised some interesting points:
I've just learned that his mother tried to exorcise him recently, not as a child! Somebody posted a screenshot that shows it was last July or something. I'm trying to find it. Asides from his mother obviously knowing he is messed up, this in itself raises some questions about his family and the type of weirdness going on. Surely getting a psychiatrist would have been a better option? Not that he would have accepted one, maybe she did tell him to get help, who knows, but still...
edit: I found the screen shot- it was in 2020!
Anyway, I read this the other day and I thought it raised some interesting points:
Last edited:
Absolutely. If someone says in an interview that they respect their wives too much to be violent towards them, it means the other women are undeserving of such respect. It's the basis of so much sexual violence, from this to the Rotherham etc sex abuse cases, to rape in wartime to general rape. It's not sexual gratification or ' kink'.Its saying that certain women or women in general are deserving of punishment because they are 'slags' or because theyve had sex with others or because they are not as 'good' as women of a different colour or race.
The Daily Mail does refer to her bum cheeks being pink. I hate that his abuse is being disguised as BDSM.
I agree with some parts of that thread but look at the language - it is wrong to want to "beat" someone during sex. "Beat" implies actual violence and harm. "Corporatised feminist anxiety" ... what? Reads to me like someone trying to defend violence and power imbalance in sexual relationships who doesn't want be associated with the fallout around AH.
I really don't see the issue with being absolutist in the view that sexual battery is wrong. I'm sure that holding firm in that view doesn't mean consenting partners can't explore dominance etc. in their sexual relationship. But a blanket view that its fine to hurt someone if they say OK is beyond fucked up.
His use of the word 'beat' was definitely an odd and bad choice of wording and it could be inferred to as meaning somebody literally being beaten to a pulp, which of course I do not agree with but that's just my view on it. Only he can answer what he meant, but what I took from it was that people enjoy BDSM or S & M and when it is done consensually, with trust and whatever is comfortable for the people involved. So maybe I missed something that you picked up on, but was my take on his post at the time. I also agreed with his stance on respect for his wife and not for the other women.
When getting into the sadomasochism aspect of it, this is where the debate starts because people do claim they enjoy it. I have very little knoweldge of BDSM or S & M myself but I knew a couple who did (he enjoyed various things, such as whipping and having big candles inserted up his butt). I also knew a girl at college who was open with me and my friends about her mashocistic tendencies and her enjoyment of pain, and she mentioned liking nails used on her and vice versa, etc.. That seems very extreme in my opinion and a couple of people questioned this and she reiterated her right to like what she wanted to like and she said she was in a consenting and mutual relationship where they both enjoyed S & M.
Is it ok for her to do that and vice versa, because sadomasochism would be classed as sexual violence. That's a good debate to have so you raise a good question, which goes into the debate of what is deemed appropriate. So it's a bit of a hard one to actually condemn the poster for when some see it as a grey area because it is consenting and maybe he is defending those who derive sexual pleasure from doing it the right to do it consenually, rather than just advocating for unwanted sexual violence. I see why you questioned it, though.
Last edited:
see all this? It makes me think of in Minority Report where they’re like “we can tell you’re going to commit a crime so we’ll lock you up now just to be on the safe side”. Like...what more do we need
I ran out of time to edit, but I wanted to add this because I know how things gets misinterpreted online -
I do not know much about S & M, although I am interested in the psychology of it and why people do it. I know those who practice say mutual sadomasochism is not the same as sexual aggression. Thus, the poster seems to be defending the practice of S & M as an enjoyment, discussing the backlash and views against it and that there needs to be a discussion about it because of the views around sex and violence.
I'm not defending it but at the same I wonder is it mine, or anyone's, right to say that two people who consensually enjoy that kind of thing are not allowed to like it because I think it is wrong? That's all. Sometimes there's nuance in people's views surrounding things, such as S & M, without it meaning that one approves of sexual violence. Again, using the words 'beat' and 'the beaten' weren't the best words, perhaps, or maybe he was trying to make a point. *shrug*
I hope that makes sense and I think it's often important to debate things because that's how misunderstanding of meaning and context happen.
Last edited:
It isn’t that they don’t make sense
It is that they contribute to the constant distraction away from his crimes with constantly having an outcry, yet again, about THEIR right to enjoy BDSM. I mean, that isn’t the issue is it? Who is saying they can’t? No one.
But people like that person who wrote the tweet thought hold on, don’t tar all of us with this brush, why don’t I make sure I put in my voice about my right to do what I want and my right to enjoy BDSM.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT BDSM. It is about horrendous crimes AH has committed against women, he just claimed he was engaging in BDSM. Those women don’t need you to explain what BDSM means to you, it wasn’t BDSM it was abuse. There seems to always be a desire to own these terms and kinks, so much so that the original issue is forgotten about because it becomes a USA gun crime/ownership debate EVERY SINGLE TIME
This is like someone using a Ford Focus to drive into a crowd of people and then all the Ford Focus owners getting mad and defending their right to drive a Ford Focus instead of the fact someone intentionally committed a crime with the car. You can drive what car you want. You just should drive it responsibly
If you are not abusing women you don’t need to step up to explain yourself. No one is asking you to.
Exactly - it was not BDSM.
The poster is not talking about Armie hammer, who is unquestionably an abuser. He's talking about the discussion around BDSM/ S and M in general. I wasn't talking about Armie either, the man is a monster. His final screenshot shows that he views Armie as an abuser who incorrectly uses the pretence title of BDSM to abuse women. Maybe some people who do practice BDSM want come out and talk about the differences between BDSM and abuse because of those who use the title to freely abuse and hurt women. That's what i thought he was trying to say.
I explain myself because people misinterpret comments and views so sometimes a disclaimer is needed. I know nobody asked me to ( I wasn't seeking permission) but I wanted to for that reason.
Last edited:
Going to discuss these tweets & not what you've said, Ophelia!
I take the tweeter's point that we should call a spade a spade and explicitly differentiate between consensual BDSM and wanting to inflict pain on someone because you don't view that person as worthy of respect. I agree that not differentiating between these two makes it harder for someone genuinely interested in pain during sex to identify a safe partner. I think that careful language or acknowledging nuance is important in public discourse about this - it's so easy to end up communicating something you didn't intend to.
But more and more people are taking their lack of respect for their sex partner, whom they may not see as an individual but as just 'sex partner' or 'woman' (both highly concerning, because this suggests they fundamentally disrespect women or any sex partner rather than that specific individual [still would be bad]) into sex. And increasingly, women and other vulnerable people are thinking it's par for the course for their sex partner to want to degrade and hurt them during sex, and more people are dying and getting hurt in sex. More people are going along with degrading or rough sex because they think they should, or out of fear for being perceived as boring by their sex partner.
When people question why men want to degrade their sex partner like this, or what it might say about women's self-esteem that they are OK to participate in degrading sex, all this stuff about "kink shaming" comes up, which in my experience shuts down the conversation. The tweeter's complaints about 'liberal touchiness and corporatised feminist anxiety around "sex positivity"' bother me because the reality is that in a world where women (many of whom fall into the category of 'vulnerable', economically and mentally, like Elaine O'Hara) are routinely hurt and murdered by men in sexual contexts, where violence against women is sexualised, we should be careful or 'anxious' around this particular strain of 'sex positivity'. It's not 'corporate feminism' to be concerned for our own welfare in a context where we are vulnerable (sex).
I don't understand how people can identify that a significant portion of men harbour misogynistic views ("men are trash!"), but somehow believe that these same men participating in rough or degrading sex are not motivated at least in part by misogyny/that we shouldn't question this. I am so done with "because X wants to, it's fine" attitude in politics - people don't accept that as an answer in addicts or those that self-harm.
Last edited:
You put that very well!
Thanks! I really care about this issue and am always trying to develop a better understanding of it. 'Corporate feminist' set me off because you'd hardly see Boohoo or your average #girlboss talking about this issue...it was just wrong IMO. Too bad I skived off work a bit too much to write this x_x
(it's been a slow day, though, thankfully!)Also, @Ophelia, just so I don't clog up the thread too much with yet another post by me, thanks for bringing this to the table. The first reaction to someone who thought they were participating in BDSM only to end up getting abused should never be, "why were you doing that in the first place" so important to discourage that. Totally understand what you mean about anxiety around commenting - I have definitely left comments and inadvertently suggested things I never meant to communicate!
Last edited: