Alfie Deyes #7 Joe Sugg's sister's boyfriend/housemate

[Alightened]

To Alfie.......

 

[thenomad]

Can I just ask, when you guys say stuff about Alfie loving Mark, what is the joke? Is it that he has more chemistry with Zoe's best friend than with her? Or is it that he's gay?

Yes, that he has more chemistry with Mark than Zoe it seems.

It was in one of the Bruges vlog where he was making heart eyes at Mark when Mark was speaking. It could have been before that too but I’m a bit lazy to go digging so if anyone can recall other specific examples that would be great.

Image courtesy from @GossWhore

The other half of the joke being Alfie will fancy anyone who is not Zoe. Aka Lottie, some random IG model, the wall, a random stranger, random stranger’s horse, etc. Taking in account answers he’s given about his future with Zoe like his interview with Marcus Butler, when he and Zoe filmed a couples Q+A, or his vlog where he drew his future without Zoe (quite recent).

 

[cuzisayso]

So he went to the beautiful Iceland
With some amazing cameras that most people can’t afford
And the only pictures he has to show for it

ARE 6 PICTURES OF HIMSELF!!!!!!
(Taken by other people)

Wowwww crazy content bro

you were so right, we all weren’t ready to get blown away like this
With that blank stare, trying to look interesting by either doing his best model pose or just holding an expensive camera (but no pictures to show for it)

So he not only let other people help him film, and he needed like 6 people to edit his vlogumentary for him
They also had to take the pics on this holiday?
Why was he even there?
He could’ve just stayed at home with a cheeky little Nando’s and let his friends go
What a waste of space

 

[Youtubegossip]

Ok so..
1. How does it take months to test out a kendama
2. What the heck is “seshing” a kendama

SESHING... you know.... those big Friday night seshes with the boys. Savage nights where they catch the kendama over and over. You’ve not lived until you’ve seshed a kendama

 

[Youtubegossip]

not gonna lie I have a thing for Alfies dad and it continues now that I know he studied in Oxford

Imagine studying at Oxford and then having a son who’s as thick as Elf

 

[sitesorestrictive]

I've said it once and I will say it again. Using drone footage DOESN'T TAKE ANY SKILL. Sure it makes things look cool but a 6 year old could shoot slow mo drone footage and it would look the same.

These people aren't "filmmakers." They're spoiled white rich twats with so much money they can afford to buy nice cameras which, once again, ANYONE can use to get a high quality photo.

 

[cuzisayso]

That mini ad he’s doing
Is all about “electric” driving and being soooo good for the environment and all ..... *eye roll*
(First of all they have like 4 cars amongst the 2 of them.. non of them electric)
But anyways..
he is being flown out to Shanghai, Rotterdam and now New York in an Airplane
3 different flights to 3 completely different parts of the world.. (and that’s just for this goofball!!! I can only imagine how many people/youtubers mini is paying this for)
All to discuss how we all we “regular” folk need to buy a electric mini cause we need to be more environmentally friendly
.... makes perfect sense..........

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

Daft hat and Futureself merch. Someone else is filming it AND someone else has edited it? What did he actually do then?

Zach has blisters.

There’s a kendama.

“It’s cold right now” no shit Fraggle. You fucking dickhead. You have a (merch) hoody on and half a hat. Of course you’re cold.

The Drone footage is fucking amazing I would’ve watched 35 minutes of that and Ben.

Omg he bought the outerwear there. Course he didn’t take anything but the fucking merch. GIFTED!!!!!!!! OMG. Then they played cards with the merch cards.

They keep saying “don’t even worry” after shit like ‘landing’ the kendama. It’s infuriating.

“Shall we get the images boys?” Fuck off. You’ve gone for photos. That’s LICHERALLY it. You absolute idiot. You’ve relied completely on Ben and your film guy.

It’s no different to any other vlog format?

Ridiculous is his new thing. I hate it. Just as much as LICHERALLY. Lost count @Alightened cos I hated it so much.

Some RIDICULOUS comments from Frag:

-It’s just hit me. We’re licherally in Iceland. UGHHHHH!!

-Right now we’re legit on a glacier.

-I’d love an ice sculpture in the house ... if it didn’t melt.

-Today’s a chilly one, for sure.

-This is literally the most ridiculous beach we’ve just found

THE END WITH THE CREDITS. I CAN’T COPE. Was the film guy mentioned?

 

[GossWhore]

- So the bucket list was a sponsorship from Pokemon????
- He did his parents bucket list. He COULD of picked a subscriber. But guess that's too much effort
- Their parents list: Working with animals for the day
- Alfie Dad went to Oxford at 17 to study Zoology!!!! Then you have Alfie?? Jeeez!
- Alfie then realised it was more his more bucket list than his Dad (Guess that's why hes not that excited. Plus probably leaving his house at 7am by his dumb sons idea wasn't the best start of the day)
- Lool Alfie and his parents had to clean the poop up in the animal reserve -- he better give his Dad his adsense!!! He was NOT happy.
- Alfie parents apparently only put the reserve as they "didn't want you thinking we were out for a trip"
-- they should of put the sleeper train to Scotland they ACTUALLY wanted to do

-13:55 a wild Morgan is spotted. He lives!

- Alfie: "leaving my mum and Dad to do the rest of the cleaning....I jumped in a jeep to learn more of what they do" --- HOW FCKING CHEEKY. He legit roped his parents into this bs then goes off to "educate himself" aka not help clean

- Alfies mum: I wonder what Alfies doing?
Alfies Dad: sitting in a jeep somewhere having a sandwich and a coffee

- Alfie said he wanted to give his parents the "reality" but he couldn't even do a whole day working in reality. How pathetic.

- He then ends the video saying we should all write a bucket list.
Alfiestole quote "Its so easy for years to pass by and for you not to think about these things and work on making them happen. Don't let that happen to you. Go and achieve them" ---- the grin at the end pissed me off as you can tell he feels hes REALLY imparted wisdom

 

[StephenTJackson]

Alfie's recent search history:
How to get more likes on Instagram
Places in Iceland
McDonald's in Iceland
Beanies
How cold is iceland

You missed one

Where to buy a coat in Iceland?

 

[thenomad]

He will travel the world to avoid ZoeView attachment 54421

How much you want to bet he will break or lose half of this and a week after he’s back beg on IG for replacements.

Also, this looks like a fire hazard waiting to happen. I would pay good money to see his Future‘a Elf merch catch on fire while Alfie tweets asking his two fans how to put a fire out “leave a comment down below”.

 

[Horatio]

I think saying he makes mediocre content gives way too much credit. He licherally makes lame copies of what he's seen others do while simultaneously thinking he's an amazing creative genius that's changing the world.

Little things he does are infuriating and show how he's never had any real issues in life. Like how he actually screams and makes such a big deal of the landrover being too hot / cold (delete as applicable for the time of year) while he sits with the engine idling waiting for it to heat up / cool down.

Yes agree, he just never gets any better. Watching the new vlog all his ghastliness seemed clearer than ever. He’s ripping off Casey neistat when he started vlogging... but SO badly. It’s kind of more frustrating because he can’t even mimic talent convincingly, yet he has all this success. His mundane time lapses, the way he’s tried to play about with the speed and sync music to it as Casey popularised in what 2016? Anyway it was just so poorly done, no heart, no skill, no innovation. (To confirm it Casey uploaded a really lovely video today. But more to the point he has developed through about a dozen editing styles since the one Alfie is trying to ineptly to copy.)

It also occurred to me how bland his personality is, though he’s got so used to being watched it’s given him a false sense of how interesting he is.

Not to mention the time change. Wow I needed a new paragraph for discussing how ludicrous he is with that stuff. Every time the clocks go back or he takes any trip to Europe and jumps an hour or two ahead he acts like he’s just flown to Australia. Alfie it’s in your head if it “feels so much later” than 8 o clock and no one really cares that that’s the time - because it’s nine. An hour. It drives me crazy how he patronisingly explains to the audience, twice a year, exactly what mad thing has happened with time and why. And I mean really explains...

“It’s currently like 8pm? now but it literally feels like 11pm because the clocks went back. So it’s only 9pm. But it’s actually 8pm.”

We aren’t ready for this-sick-content, guys.

 

[gloriouscheesecake]

Lol... just lol.

.

he looks absolutely fucking RIDICULOUS!!!!

 

[cuzisayso]

Elf just jumps on whatever is ‘trendy’ and the thing at the moment. And currently that’s her. Same with the plastic and stuff, i don’t believe he genuinely gives a shit, it’s more to appear that he does

Wasn’t he just blasting a waitress/company on his stories for giving him a plastic cup while dining in?
Because single use plastic is soooooo wrong gaissss

And what is he promoting now?
Oh wow those Nero drops sure seem to all 4 come INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED ..... IN PLASTIC!!!
FOR SINGLE USE!!!

But swipe up gaisss

 

[Youtubegossip]

Pulled from Zoe's thread and time stamped for you guys. Watch Alfie trying to try to convince his girlfriend she should dress more street. He eventually concedes and says he is "happy with her outfits but... could use a bit more street wear". Zoe is absolutely not having it.

Boyfriendoftheyear material right here: saying her hair smells like sewage (in Zoe's vlog) while also trying to change how she normally dresses. What a great start to November for Zoe. It couldn't be more obvious Alfie is not into her anymore.

I’d have told him he should wear more ‘adult wear’, sort his ringworm out, go and see a proper dentist, get rid of his nose trail hair, and all of his toys.... oh and have a personality transplant. And then he’d maybe be ok

 

[Youtubegossip]

I would love Alfie for once to follow through on having the best content/content of the year/whatever other adjective he wants to stick to his mediocre videos. He said his Italy video was going to be amazing and it really wasn't. He promised us the content of the year and it still hasn't happened. He bought a halfpipe that he never used himself. We never saw the after results of his 90 day challenge. He bought expensive equipment for his podcast that floundered and never became a podcast. It goes on and on.

I think he brought that art book to be edgy. Probably thinks it's so kewl there's omg! bewbies!!! on the cover. I guarantee the pressed boobs art in their bedroom is something Alfie bought or convinced Zoe that they should get it. I don't think he's doing it to intentionally hurt Zoe more so than to show off he has an expensive book (one that wasn't gifted to him). Much like the Range Rover they drive, a car they absolutely don't need but drive for the status despite Range Rovers being notorious for having lots of issues and being high maintenance. These two are very much into showing off all the items they buy or own even if it's only used once.

Either way, their getaway is going to be spend 99.9% indoors and ordering food. Zoe is saving up her strength for when they go away for Christmas. She can only be away from her beloved couch for so many days.

The problem is he’s such a twat he actually believes that Italy video was outstanding.

annoys the shit out of me the way he tries to do his intro likes Casey Neistat now by setting up the camera then walking over to it to intro the video.

alfie is pathetic, he paid for a skate ramp, got his mates to paint it and hasn’t skated on it ONCE. That was bought simply so he could try and push his MERCH as a skate brand and pretend he’s into skateboarding. I could walk around with a skateboard under my arm, doesn’t make me a skater.

His gormless gummy laugh clap makes my skin crawl. I’ve never know someone think they are as special as Alfie and have licherrrrallly nothing going for them

 

[QuietQuistie]

New here, but I've found my people at last! For ages I've watched this group of people in bewilderment and wondered wtf? Alfie is the worst though, the travel video showed nothing about what using that app would be like for normal people, since he got free upgrades; I thought he was all about the environment but 2 flights in 2 days? And I know this is old, but a t-shirt and baseball cap at the Ivy? Is it not the posh place I thought it was?

 

[QuietQuistie]

Total twat in a tiny hat

I've been singing this to myself to the tune of postman pat all day, I can't stop!

 

[StephenTJackson]

Bum butter ? I don’t even want to know !

Something him and Mark Ferris use together. I think the rest of us call it lube.

 

[Blerghhhhhh]

Cause he's a total twat!

Total twat in a tiny hat