Alfie Deyes #7 Joe Sugg's sister's boyfriend/housemate

[cherry198]

People who do these vlog recaps deserve a special place in heaven for their efforts

If he wanted future self to be a stand alone brand he could have released it without his name being attached to it at all and just let it run off it’s own merit but he damn well knows nobody gives a shit and it’s only his last 50 fans who want to buy his merch.

Anytime children get brought up you can practically cut the tension with a knife.I’m actually going to have to watch this vlog purely for Alfie’s reaction to this alone

 

[Jelly Bean]

Alfie COULD make a thing all about showing his woodland, how he is using that to create woodland habitats for creatures, planting more trees and making it a sustainable woodland for the future.

But we know he has actually forgotten about his woodland and doesn’t care about it, and there is probably still that mattress there gone mouldy and disgusting because I don’t recall him taking it away after using it for that one night. Of course the mattress was #gifted aswell.

So agree re the woodland. One of the few things he has purchased that isn't useless but obviously wasted on him. Even if he only filmed four times a year as a introduction to a season. He and Zoe are obsessed with all things autumnal so what could be nicer than seeing autumn arriving in your own woodland. What an amazing privilege. I tweeted him once as a wildlife charity local to him were looking for a safe private woodland to rehome two rare owls (the organisation would monitor them so no responsibility for AD). No response of course.

 

[Alightened]

 

[StephenTJackson]

Hahaha Alfie gives us bants for days. The gift that keeps giving

Someone in the pub mentioned him last night and my boyfriend was like ‘don’t get her started on that wanker’

I’ve got a Twitter friend who is a big fan of Zalfie and Mark, and likes YouTubers in general. I tweeted one comment about not liking saffron on Strictly, he replies telling me not to say mean things about YouTubers. It’s only because he is my friend that I didn’t launch into an endless tirade about how bloody awful Zoe and Alfie are.

 

[Laughingforlife]

Thread title.

Alfie Deyes #8 My Pointless Life - A memoir

 

[Youtubegossip]

Didn't he say his audience is older and not teens?

He also said he’s not a Tory and definitely doesn’t live ‘in a fucking mansion’ so I wouldn’t go by what he says

He could have easily have taken them to South Africa to a proper reserve to work and experience - Alfie as usual does what takes the least effort, and let his parents do the shit jobs. He's so selfish it really is unbelievable - Zoes latest instagram stories theres one card on the mantlepiece - guessing that was her anniversary card to Alfie?

Absolutely gobsmacked he posted that photo thing on his insta as if he'd bought that for Zoe and it turns out it was HER gift to him - get rid of this little wet wipe Zoe ffs

 

[pineapple9]

Yes Alfie, that’s nice. What a clever boy to tell us that story. *pats head*

Don't worry about that plastic lid on that single-use cup, because Elf has a reusable straw at home, remember?? #environmentalist

 

[Youtubegossip]

Been in Italy all day and realised none of them have plug converters so can’t charge their equipment and instead of getting off his ass and going out to find one he’s asking his fans where he can get one.

such. A. Prick.

Can’t ask, or google it himself, he’s got to get that question box on insta for the interaction

 

[comment on life]

He really is absolutely awful. Even if it was meant as a joke..... If my boyfriend of SEVEN YEARS said this (even in jest) I would seriously be reconsidering the relationship! Poor Zoe!

 

[Laughingforlife]

Alfie's recent search history:
How to get more likes on Instagram
Places in Iceland
McDonald's in Iceland
Beanies
How cold is iceland

 

[pineapple9]

Can't believe Alfie doesn't know the fucking Mount Vesuvius that killed thousands of people. Surely everyone knows about that particular volcano, since it is pretty much the most dangerous volcano in the world because there are so many people living nearby? He is such a dumb fucker, at least educate yourself before visiting a specific location!

 

[navybluewolf]

Nahh I don’t think Alfie will do anything for their anniversary. He probably couldn’t book S Club 3 in time.

We all know Alfie ONLY does something extravagant when it also benefits him (aka boost his engagement on his sm). All for the ‘gram.


It’s all the pancakes and banana loaves Zoe has been feeding him. All simple carbs and tons of sugar as well as Alfie looking at himself in the mirror more so than actually working out. Those pounds add up quick!

I’m wondering if Zoe is trying to make Alfie chubby on purpose so no one else can have him and then when his looks have gone he will finally propose?

Yeah he's at that age now when the youthful metabolism starts to slow down. The mid twenties trough. I don't think he had any looks to start with, I honestly don't know how Zoe ever shagged him, with a bag over his head maybe. Gifted of course.

 

[cuzisayso]

Total twat in a tiny hat

New thread title XD

 

[Just-opinion]

His work ethic is so fucking laughable. I know this has been mentioned a hundred times on here, but I cannot stop thinking about how a) he fills his day because he never seems to do anything except play with his stupid toys and complain about how long the editing takes him and b) how he never ever be able to survive in a normal 9-5 job with your boss breathing down your neck because you don't meet your monthly goals. Hell, he would be fired in less than a day. Only reason for his wealth is being in the right place at the right time, plus all the attention because of his sister Zozeebo.
And that alone brought him MILLIONS.
Fucking hell!

I can't remember who it was, but I was watching a YouTube video yesterday and whoever it was was saying how laughable it was that vloggers make out filming and editing a video to be so hard and time consuming. She mentioned doing a full time law degree and manages to do her own background research, filming, editing and uploading on time - and these vloggers with editors and teams behind their vlogs/videos with little-no research/thought going into their videos are "struggling" to do it.
Imagine thinking editing a 20 minute video once a week and getting paid millions was a hard life

 

[boredjess]

It's licherally a rectangle

 

[pineapple9]

My god, what's his problem these past weeks? Always throwing out digs at Zoe. If you're so sick of your girlfriend, grow some fucking balls and leave her already! It would honestly be so good for her, too.

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

He buys Zoe the wrong size shoes. Has done a few times apparently.

Sitting in his pants and blurring it out in the edit.... I assume cos he’s so super savagely family friendly.

Says LICHERALLY again and again.

Zoe has fake glasses on again.

Zoe mentions autumn lurgy.

Zoe can’t draw stars but she did an art A level.

Alfie is a scruffy bastard though, isn’t he? His hair makes me die inside.

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

Seal with dentures. This is him when he does that fucking laugh.

 

[Horatio]

Why is this what, 3 day trip to Iceland a “vlogumentary” rather than a video? What makes it different than any of his other videos?!
The pretentiousness is ludicrous. And he’s stolen the name from Shay Carl’s thing from years ago, which, though a car crash in its own way, actually suited its title, being a documentary about vlogging. God this boy needs a slap.

 

[lola_goss]

His insta story... oh do fuck off Alfie.

“Really excited to take a few days fully off work” (even worse, it actually says OF work but I’ve corrected) YOU DO NOT WORK. You piss about doing whatever takes your fancy and can’t even be arsed to finish projects that you’ve committed to.

Also Zoe looks unhappy as fuck in that picture. Bet she’s thrilled that he’s taken shit loads of camera equipment with him for a weekend “fully off” work anything to avoid spending quality time together.