cocochino
Chatty Member
I feel you! I'm 37 and I never found someone, it just never happened for me. I've never been married or had kids, but I'm honestly fine being single. Everyone else has a problem with it though. Society feels sorry for me and that's what I struggle with the most because people think my life is sad, when it really isn't. I'm trying not to care so much about what other people think.Thank you for sharing Cee (and lcd)!
Personally speaking, I too have this nagging fear of being single forever, because I genuinely can’t seem to find someone who fits me well. At the same time as I get further and further into med school/residency, I’m losing all the free time that I previously had to socialize… so I get where Niomi is coming from.
That being said, it’s so incredibly comforting to hear from other women who have been through this phase of life… Everyone has their own unique set of challenges, and we all make it through somehow
It’s only unfortunate that Niomi is in this rut of desperation with men and isn’t doing any work to improve her situation
I was in some awful abusive relationships when I was younger and I never want to go back to that. Being single is peaceful. As long as I have love from my family, friends, and pets, I'm perfectly happy
Coldfeet
VIP Member
Off topic BUT the accommodation scheme for Ukranian refugees worked!!I'll be hosting a couple, bombed out and sheltering in Poland. Started the UK Government sponsorship online and all done by 3am UK time. They just have to get the governnent invitation letter and can then fly in.
Mum passed away Feb 1 st and I changed her hospital style room back to new and cosy. If this works out she'd be so happy to know we could give sanctuary.
They will LOVE Cassie
Mum passed away Feb 1 st and I changed her hospital style room back to new and cosy. If this works out she'd be so happy to know we could give sanctuary.
They will LOVE Cassie
Attachments
Julie Shmoolie
Member
girls, I just wanna say thank you for such a great daily entertaining content! I'm from Ukraine and I'm like in a constant state of stress, so I come here to laugh (and cringe a lil) 
As for Niomi, I have like 0.000001% of sympathy left. She has all time in the world and a lot of money to self-reflect, self-educate and do the therapy. Instead she does this privilege ignorant mess.
As for Niomi, I have like 0.000001% of sympathy left. She has all time in the world and a lot of money to self-reflect, self-educate and do the therapy. Instead she does this privilege ignorant mess.
Lovemeabitoftea
Active member
The difference between class and crass
DeviantMuch
Member
Before i forget, next thread title suggestion:
Niomi Smart #34 No mask in sight, can't quarantine right, fake dating forky out of spite
Niomi Smart #34 No mask in sight, can't quarantine right, fake dating forky out of spite
sitkx
VIP Member
Alright my friends! 
In an effort to put you in a merry mood and to jingle your bells, I begin my ridiculous analysis of our darling Dimbob's VLOGMAS series!
Disclaimer: For legal purposes, this is all for fun's sake, please don't take me seriously and definitely don't take me to court. And yes, yes I do have a lot of time on my hands right now. What about it??
VLOGMAS 2015
(for continuity I will start with the oldest available year, although she only did 5 videos for that vlogmas. I will be putting all the youtube links into a Spoiler box, so that they don't take up so much space. Context: It was during this time that she broke up with Marcus and very happily moved out to a new flat).
~ We begin with frizzy blonde Niomi once again, accompanied by her little tiny saber tooth, yet to be fixed
~ She says menacingly, "I'm not going to be doing Vlogmas every day. I will be doing Vlogmas twice a day", which is already a great start to a chaotic and messy influencer career and constant editing mistakes
~ Niomi shows us her porridge, which, Shock! Horror! has more than 6 blueberries in it. But don't you dare think for a second that Niomi did not dilute her almond milk with water to save 5 calories (she did).
~ She will be going to Soho house, she informs us, no doubt intoxicated with the thought of meeting a posh rich man, who she will be able to dominate and starve. "Soon", she thinks. Legend says that a shiver ran down Joey's spine in this very moment.
~ "I've started doing this thing where I put a big dollop of jam in my porridge!", she says, as the camera shows what looks to be a teaspoon of jam smudged across a centimeter-thin layer of oats.
~ Niomi tells us she won "Most Inspirational Lifestyle Award" from InStyle. I'll give you a minute to digest that one, take your time
~ Eventually, she tunes in from the InStyle pre-party and says, "We've all got our vlog cameras out! I can't concentrate, I can't talk!" Niomi laughs insincerely, failing to realize that she is not letting other people talk or concentrate. Of course, what the plebs don't realize is that she is entitled to their time and they must remain silent while she vlogs, lest they want their peanut butters taken away.
~ "Too many conversations going on right now, TOO many conversations" sternly scolds Niomi, pretending to be a first grade teacher at an elementary school. Careful Niomi, you don't want to show your controlling personality quite yet, you're going to need that later!
~ She informs us she didn't have time to eat dinner, and instead ate a ready-made soup. "This is all that's left of it, I ate it ALL", she waves around a cardboard package of the soup and we are meant to be shocked. Wow! She ate an entire single-serve plate of soup! It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it.
~ Niomi then proceeds to show us a box of food from Planet Organic and recites exactly what quantities of which foods she consumed, in case you needed more proof of her obsessive control issues. "I've eaten two of these, i've had three of these" and so on. "I don't know when to stop eating, I keep going until I can't manage anymore", she lies. "I really need to put this away, otherwise I will keep eating those cookies", she smiles maniacally, as her internal organs cry from malnutrition.
~ We get a brief I-don't-feel-Christmassy-I'm-not-like-the-other-girls rant and she finally signs off.
End of Vlog 1
~ Niomi starts off the second vlog telling us she's doing "some kind of talk at some kind of conference", which is a sign of a great conference speaker. She asks her assistant, "where are we?" The first step to giving a great speech is not knowing what the speech is for or where you're giving it.
~ We then get a segment of Jim introducing a managing director of a company as the CEO, only to be corrected. Serious question -- does ANYONE in the Brit Crew have any competence?
~ Niomi says "lovely" about 158 times in this vlog. I quote: "sooo lovely to see [Big Tezza] out there [Florida], it's such a lovely place...I'm going out to meet her at the Savoy, which will be lovely". (2:30-2:51)
~ She spends like 3 whole minutes telling us she looks like a poodle and just how CrAzY her hair is, all while obsessively touching it every second:
~ She arrives at the Savoy to meet Big Tezza, who I am the #1 fan of. Big T looks as lovely as usual, sporting her finest and biggest jewelry. It is the Savoy, after all.
~ Niomi then walks to an ice-skating Yewchewb event at the Natural History Museum to have a passive-aggressive encounter with another star, Tanya Burr (actress-extraordinaire). If you want to cringe into the next dimension, watch 5:28-6:30. Prepare for endless insincere smiling and facetious exchange of pleasantries. Here's Niomi pretending to give a shit about not being invited to hang with Tan and Zoe ("I was busy as well. I wouldn't be able to do it anyway", she says angrily):
~ We then watch Niomi and Jim ice-skating and holding hands, while Tarn stands awkwardly on the stands (literally LOL). Tanya comments menacingly: "I think Niomi looks the most pretty she's ever looked", which might be code for "I'll kill you if you don't stop flirting with my man", I'm not sure.
~ As Niomi and Jim skate away from Tan (into the sunset), this is how I imagine Tan looked at them:
~ Niomi then records herself skating up to Jim and Tanya, Jim clearly having just gotten a scolding for pretending to be Niomi's boyfriend. Niomi comes up to Tan and says "are you jealous, Tan?" referring to her not being able to skate, but really meaning something else. You can tell by Jim's face and Tanya's grimace that he's in big trouble:
~ Niomi decides to taunt Tanya just one more time for good measure, so she holds hands with Jim yet again and does a little romantic skating pose
~ After a long night of making Tanya mad, Niomi is finally in a cab heading home. "It's such a good time seeing Jim!...and Tanya.." She says (with a manic gleam in her eye). She's finally feeling Christmassy, she tells the camera. Dear reader, all it took was ice-skating with Jim as Tanya looked on. Ah, classic!
End of Vlog 2
Okay besties, now I gotta go cook some honey garlic tofu for the fam
In an effort to put you in a merry mood and to jingle your bells, I begin my ridiculous analysis of our darling Dimbob's VLOGMAS series!Disclaimer: For legal purposes, this is all for fun's sake, please don't take me seriously and definitely don't take me to court. And yes, yes I do have a lot of time on my hands right now. What about it??
VLOGMAS 2015
(for continuity I will start with the oldest available year, although she only did 5 videos for that vlogmas. I will be putting all the youtube links into a Spoiler box, so that they don't take up so much space. Context: It was during this time that she broke up with Marcus and very happily moved out to a new flat).
~ We begin with frizzy blonde Niomi once again, accompanied by her little tiny saber tooth, yet to be fixed
~ She says menacingly, "I'm not going to be doing Vlogmas every day. I will be doing Vlogmas twice a day", which is already a great start to a chaotic and messy influencer career and constant editing mistakes
~ Niomi shows us her porridge, which, Shock! Horror! has more than 6 blueberries in it. But don't you dare think for a second that Niomi did not dilute her almond milk with water to save 5 calories (she did).
~ She will be going to Soho house, she informs us, no doubt intoxicated with the thought of meeting a posh rich man, who she will be able to dominate and starve. "Soon", she thinks. Legend says that a shiver ran down Joey's spine in this very moment.
~ "I've started doing this thing where I put a big dollop of jam in my porridge!", she says, as the camera shows what looks to be a teaspoon of jam smudged across a centimeter-thin layer of oats.
~ Niomi tells us she won "Most Inspirational Lifestyle Award" from InStyle. I'll give you a minute to digest that one, take your time
~ Eventually, she tunes in from the InStyle pre-party and says, "We've all got our vlog cameras out! I can't concentrate, I can't talk!" Niomi laughs insincerely, failing to realize that she is not letting other people talk or concentrate. Of course, what the plebs don't realize is that she is entitled to their time and they must remain silent while she vlogs, lest they want their peanut butters taken away.
~ "Too many conversations going on right now, TOO many conversations" sternly scolds Niomi, pretending to be a first grade teacher at an elementary school. Careful Niomi, you don't want to show your controlling personality quite yet, you're going to need that later!
~ She informs us she didn't have time to eat dinner, and instead ate a ready-made soup. "This is all that's left of it, I ate it ALL", she waves around a cardboard package of the soup and we are meant to be shocked. Wow! She ate an entire single-serve plate of soup! It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it.
~ Niomi then proceeds to show us a box of food from Planet Organic and recites exactly what quantities of which foods she consumed, in case you needed more proof of her obsessive control issues. "I've eaten two of these, i've had three of these" and so on. "I don't know when to stop eating, I keep going until I can't manage anymore", she lies. "I really need to put this away, otherwise I will keep eating those cookies", she smiles maniacally, as her internal organs cry from malnutrition.
~ We get a brief I-don't-feel-Christmassy-I'm-not-like-the-other-girls rant and she finally signs off.
End of Vlog 1
~ Niomi starts off the second vlog telling us she's doing "some kind of talk at some kind of conference", which is a sign of a great conference speaker. She asks her assistant, "where are we?" The first step to giving a great speech is not knowing what the speech is for or where you're giving it.
~ We then get a segment of Jim introducing a managing director of a company as the CEO, only to be corrected. Serious question -- does ANYONE in the Brit Crew have any competence?
~ Niomi says "lovely" about 158 times in this vlog. I quote: "sooo lovely to see [Big Tezza] out there [Florida], it's such a lovely place...I'm going out to meet her at the Savoy, which will be lovely". (2:30-2:51)
~ She spends like 3 whole minutes telling us she looks like a poodle and just how CrAzY her hair is, all while obsessively touching it every second:
~ She arrives at the Savoy to meet Big Tezza, who I am the #1 fan of. Big T looks as lovely as usual, sporting her finest and biggest jewelry. It is the Savoy, after all.
~ Niomi then walks to an ice-skating Yewchewb event at the Natural History Museum to have a passive-aggressive encounter with another star, Tanya Burr (actress-extraordinaire). If you want to cringe into the next dimension, watch 5:28-6:30. Prepare for endless insincere smiling and facetious exchange of pleasantries. Here's Niomi pretending to give a shit about not being invited to hang with Tan and Zoe ("I was busy as well. I wouldn't be able to do it anyway", she says angrily):
~ We then watch Niomi and Jim ice-skating and holding hands, while Tarn stands awkwardly on the stands (literally LOL). Tanya comments menacingly: "I think Niomi looks the most pretty she's ever looked", which might be code for "I'll kill you if you don't stop flirting with my man", I'm not sure.
~ As Niomi and Jim skate away from Tan (into the sunset), this is how I imagine Tan looked at them:
~ Niomi then records herself skating up to Jim and Tanya, Jim clearly having just gotten a scolding for pretending to be Niomi's boyfriend. Niomi comes up to Tan and says "are you jealous, Tan?" referring to her not being able to skate, but really meaning something else. You can tell by Jim's face and Tanya's grimace that he's in big trouble:
~ Niomi decides to taunt Tanya just one more time for good measure, so she holds hands with Jim yet again and does a little romantic skating pose
~ After a long night of making Tanya mad, Niomi is finally in a cab heading home. "It's such a good time seeing Jim!...and Tanya.." She says (with a manic gleam in her eye). She's finally feeling Christmassy, she tells the camera. Dear reader, all it took was ice-skating with Jim as Tanya looked on. Ah, classic!
End of Vlog 2
Okay besties, now I gotta go cook some honey garlic tofu for the fam
“Il just have to put... joe’s feel new tea...
back”
Whispers....
forever
Right I need to stop watching
stop
back”
Whispers....
forever
Right I need to stop watching
stop 
sonnenschein8
Active member
Good luck Verity 
Attachments
CallItAsItIs
Chatty Member
ALERT ALERT ALERT: FIVE MORE PICTURES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT, FIVE MORE PICS ARE DOWN!
graceanatomy
Chatty Member
Hahaha her latest post about her changing the song... I love how their sense of humour is THAT basic that to them that was the silliest and funniest thing she could have ever done, so much so it needed its own Instagram post and to be described in minute detail. Absolute BANTS niomi!! have you never told a joke before or seen a "prank" play out? Lol
have you never told a joke before or seen a "prank" play out? Lol
Shutterbug99
VIP Member
She is truly insufferable now. Writing down self-help book recommendations for the dude on the desk. I know I would have told her to fuck right off, lol!
She definitely sees herself as an enlightened being who exists on a higher plane above all others now just because she got naked and did psychedelics at a festival. Ugh. She's the worst!
Note how she said she had to go and pay for their luggage. I just know Lordon doesn't pay for a single thing. He's totally using her and she's too stupid to see it. Also, she totally deserves him at this point!
She definitely sees herself as an enlightened being who exists on a higher plane above all others now just because she got naked and did psychedelics at a festival. Ugh. She's the worst!
Note how she said she had to go and pay for their luggage. I just know Lordon doesn't pay for a single thing. He's totally using her and she's too stupid to see it. Also, she totally deserves him at this point!
irvinelane
VIP Member
Niomi:
Also Niomi (back in March):
Also Niomi (back in March):
sydneybarrett
Well-known member
It's funny how us tattlers - with just her insta stories and few yt videos - were able to tell she hates her new house. Her fake ass friends too busy kissing her ass to see the obvious. Nims you don't need to pay clairvoyants to figure out your life, just come read this thread instead; we've done all the work & we won't even charge you #gifted
Fernweh.Cheetah
Active member
WTF 
How to unseen this post?!?
Edit : look like this comment is already gone
glad I got it before she deleted it
How to unseen this post?!?
Edit : look like this comment is already gone
glad I got it before she deleted it
Last edited:
palmer
Chatty Member
All new accounts created this week, with a total of 5 posts exclusively on Niomi’s thread, trying to “play the devil’s advocate,” demanding evidence, or better yet, wondering why Niomi isn’t a model ()... all this in the exact moment when Niomi’s getting the most backlash she’s perhaps ever got. Hmmm 
Wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same person under all these accounts. Dimbob, shit is not going to get fixed by sending one of your relatives on this forum. Stop being a trainwreck, stop being so offensive to your followers, start caring about people other than yourself, and maybe things will start looking up for you. You’re only adding fuel to the fire with your behavior right now.
)... all this in the exact moment when Niomi’s getting the most backlash she’s perhaps ever got. Hmmm Wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same person under all these accounts. Dimbob, shit is not going to get fixed by sending one of your relatives on this forum. Stop being a trainwreck, stop being so offensive to your followers, start caring about people other than yourself, and maybe things will start looking up for you. You’re only adding fuel to the fire with your behavior right now.
Pundertaker
Chatty Member
I'd say that I need a hobby, but frankly, I quite enjoy this hobby