cleaning with mario : Most liked Posts

Mr Margrit is so horrified in Marions latest haul that he’s declared that we are not putting a tree up this year and what we would spend in electricity plus a bit more we will donate to a local childrens charity. Just when you think you couldn’t love someone anymore.

I was a bit like, what?, be we are either working or out over most of the festive period so we will see many Christmas trees whereas some kids won’t see one.

Sorry for the soppy post but I think my stone heart has just melted!!

Hello ma lovelies, I'm in my wee hospital room the noo, and I just noticed the slippers Mr Best has bought me, has a wee label saying "cosy" on it. It's giving bespoke wintum vibes. So aye.
I noticed that the pauper of paisley has been pounding the pavements, the day and so forth.

Ferguson said:

Ma lovely we absolutely DO NOT need a visual of this.
Am still traumatised from ya previous work
Absolutely NAE DEBATES
So aye

Click to expand...

Sorry ma lovelie, I cannae help it.

Thanks all for your lovely messages, you are all the best bunch of bastards ever, honestly, you don't realise how much you've distracted me from everything going on, in the last 2 years. I appreciate you all. Tonsa love and tattie hearts to youse all.

The mdf sign. What in all the fuck that's holy. A 39 year old man with his Instagram handle, above his dressing table. Wearing pumpkin pj's and getting into his pumpkin bedsheets. World's gone pissing crazy. That man is an absolute basket case. He needs to be in assisted living with a warden on the door.

Am going in with a thread suggestion ma lovelies because fuck it treatit maself

“Cleaning with Mario- autumn tat galore whilst debt collectors bang on the door”

he is no well.. all you lovelies have me thinking in investing in a ninja though a might treatit maself (nae with tax payers money cause I work more than 3 hours a week)

Those candle holders proper wee Willy winky vibes
“Wee stinky minky
Shartin’ thru the flairs
Nee upstairs or doonstairs
In his shitehole
Shutting’ aw the windees
Cozeee as can be
Ma working week is dun
On Tuesday at half past 3”

Am back with the receipts ma lovelies. I’ve understood the assignment and so forth.

Mario’s response to Hinch’s snub:


Crawling back up her arsehole a day later:


The other home account doing him dirty (it’s a smaller account so don’t want to compromise their security hens)


Katie’s mum throwing shade:

So a wee birdie telt auld Blanche how it really went the day

*Marion downloads App*
Marion: Hello? It’s me Mario. Is there anyboady oan the other side that wants tae talk tae me?
*silence*
Marion: Natalie hen, it’s Mario. Dae ye want tae talk tae me?
*silence*
Marion: Fur fucks sake, is there anyboady oot there that wants tae talk tae me?
Voice fae doonstairs: Go fuck yersel Bruno
*Marion squealing*
Marion: DEEK, DEEK DID YOU FUCKING HEAR THAT? A WUMAN JIST SPOKE TAE ME OAN THIS FUCKING APP!
Deek: saying whit?
Marion: Ah don’t ken, sounded like “Its yersel, Mario”. Who the fuck wis that?? Am fucking feart, get that app deleted.
*a few hours pass. Marion hears a noise oot in the communal stairway and like the noisy basturt he is, he runs tae the peephole*
Marion: oh ma fucking god, there’s a fucking robin et the door Deek. A robin, it’s a sign. It’s a sign fae the wuman talking tae me.
*Marion opens the door tae the robin*
Robin: Hiya, Ave got a message for a *checks paper* Martin McKnight? The message says “Mario, gees peace and stop using the dead for content. Sincerely, the entire deceased community.” Gid day tae ye, ya fud.
*The robin flys off* “whit a fucking dive this place is, gates ah fucking hell the cheeky prick”

Martin’s wee visitor has offered an exclusive interview with tattle.

Babybail93 said:

That cringe Boxing Day where he took a picture of the fake Gucci’s on his way home on the McGills bus saying some shite about fashion is pain

Click to expand...

You are a nasty troll, it wis a train so get back in yer lain hen! Mazda built Gucci fae the ground up!
As av said before they look closer tae a pair a Lonsdale’s than they do Gooochiis but Paisleys very own Gok Wan knows aw the best fashion trends so who am a to judge so aye.

Blanche Hunt said:

Ah couldnae find it oan his grid, ah think he’s maybe deleted it after we aw laughed at it

Click to expand...

Fear not ma lovelie!

Fired up reface cos bored and reasons.

Feeling beautiful, so aye. Its what I wanted, purely for me and so forth.

nosy-nora said:

So the person who had the unfortunate altercation with maid marion needs to go to the newspapers “Scottish mrs hinch granny bashes in home bargains” fucking publicly tarnish the scatty nosed bastard all over so people can really see him who who he is.
Sorry I used the words granny bashed just thinking of a headline I genuinely do feel sorry for your gran and livid at that scrote and dickhead deek

Click to expand...

Shes the toughest woman I know and its been really hard for her accepting she needs more care and to use the walking aids. It's a battle usually to get her out and about because she takes longer to walk around and needs more breaks. It was a nice night last night so I said come on I need to grab some toiletries anyway let's go down to HB it'll be nice and quiet (we got there about 6ish and it closes at 8) and he's honestly lucky she can't run because a few years ago oor Betty would have put him on his arse

I mentioned it to the girl on the tills and she said oh is he the hinching guy? He's got a brass neck he asks for discounts to show thr store on his Instagram and we've told him no thanks that'll be why he doesn't story out and about because no one knows who he is to give him discounts.

I almost didn't recognise him at first he filters the absolute fuck out his stories. He looks grey and sweaty like he's going to have a heart attack any minute.

His Instagram persona is just that. When he's a socially tone deaf, borderline racist, horrible and rude wee prick really.

Mario hobbling into his next DLA assessment like

Are we about to go oan a holistic medicine jurnay? Mario cures his ails wae muthur erf n that

i knew I recognised him from somewhere….

Marion - surprised at people overspend and buy into a commercialised holiday we celebrate.
Also Marion - spent £3k on Candy Cane Lame for a commercialised holiday we celebrate.
He’s no right. Also the sight of him possibly unclothed in the padded cell bed is enough to make me bring up all my Easter eggs this early of a morning!

"It's how far you've come not how far you were"

*Not ma quote
*Not anyone's quote because it doesn't make sense

Did he cook them onion rings on one of his wax warmers? Fuckin’ell!