cleaning with mario : Most liked Posts

Have the Hotel reeeeeally filled the mini fridge for him??? Or is it standard practice that they put stuff in it then charge for what you've used when you leave? 🥸

Oooo here I um! Am away tae celebrate ma threed title! been plannin it aw week tae! First by uppin ma capital one credit limit and gone tae the shoap fur sum Taytos and dilutin joos, Ribena mind pure bespoke nane eh that watered doon pish. Might even get masel some babybels, gie myself the chronic Duke of argyles but fuck it Tons a love and YOLO!. You'll find me oot the morra night at the dakota up to ma 3 pubes in pure lethul cocktails askin the reception at Dakota if they've goat any pillows fur sale, I mean Al promote them an aw that but I'm not a big influencer and never want tae be. So aye an so forth. Back in Yer laines ya overtakin basturts Smell the wealth and I don't care, cause if I did care and stoapped carin I'm a different person and you'll aw know aboot it.

Fucks sake! There is so much to unpack with the latest treat!

Pipe cleaner legs in 60 denier

Slippers you get at the spa with the plastic bottom

The chunky knit fleece cardigan hoosecoat

The elf ears

The NOSE!

The hair that looks like a 3 day growth after my husband has veeted his baw bag!

Fucks sake Mario!

The Ballard of Maz and Deek

I have a tale, a tale to tell
About match made in heaven (or could it be Hell)
A match between Mazza and Deek bless his heart
Nothing could sully or tear them apart.
Now Deek had a little boujie abode
Set in a cul -de -sac off a main road
When Mazza first seen it he squealed out in glee
'My very own dolls hoose for lil old me'
I'll paint it all grey and fill it with tat
Ill falbon the worktops and Febreze the cat
Now poor old Deek did not have say
He's a sensible lad who just stayed out the way
As long as he got his regular weed
He was happy as Larry stoned off his heed
Now Mazza was greedy and a true narcissist
He thought I need freebies I'll write me a list
So when his friend Hinch became a sensation
He thought 'I want to have that much adoration'
So 'Mario' was born and his Huns they did follow
His antics and fuck ups and lies they did swallow
His atrocious lack of spelling and grammar
Was totally eclipsed by his beauty and glamour
Maz says his Dyson that blows out hot air
Is the best thing to happen to his one single hair
He loves a wax melt of five, six or seven
All burning at once they stink to high Heaven
But as much as us Tattlers think he's a pain
No one could hate him as much as poor Rayn
She looks at him with a look of despise
And clearly would love to claw out his eyes
We all think that Rayn wishes him dead
But until that time comes she'll just piss on his bed.
Wee Deek we all love and have so much affection
We can't wait for his new life in witness protection

twilightgarden said:

He’ll think he’s back in his aquarium again! 🤿

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I‘ve just seen this photo of Melv sitting on his crapet rearranging his wax melt collection (again)

Purple Rayn

He's started packing for next year's trip, I cannae deal.

Yes Mario, it is I, Shrekssister, who has followed and unfollowed you several times in the last hour and has watched all your stories as a non follower. And I'm still unblocked, capesh!?

Here we go again, illiterate warblings and hard of English once more

CAPESH

He's turning into a parody of himself

Looks like he's got his internet blackout sorted so that's gid

Wow. His delusional arrogance never fails to astound me.

"Don't pressure yourself to have a home as clean as mine, or have your shit together like me"

Are you actually OK hun?
You're in a damp, mouldy run down bedsit, with shit door handles and grubby skirting boards.

Shit together? You're scamming the benefit system, have no real friends, never get invited anywhere.

The only reason you have a partial roof over your mis-shapen head is because you've cuckooed your way in to the home of someone with learning difficulties.
Does it make you feel good knowing you've completely taken over his flat, and spent all his petty cash on yourself?

Hard of morals
Hard of an OCD diagnosis
Hard of invitations to concerts

Hola freaks, Mr Best is on a pergola journey the noo, so I've been busy being project manager, making sure it's bespoke and extremely adult. It's really stressing him out as he's building it from the groon up (not ma quote)
So I thought I'd be helpful and quote Marion to him. I telt him "if you're depressed, just always try your best" it didnae go down well, he's extremely hard of patience. I reframed masel from telling him his passions are not my passions.
As for the plump poisonous pixie, imagine spending a whole weekend, weeding out the few followers he has. How sad and pathetic.
Waste of a life
No bath
No garden
No back door
No friends
No money
No penis
He's no fur me.

Hens, mind when he did his grand hair reveal fae his appointment with Nathan?
Newcomers, this is REAL it was the 'after' pic showing off his new hair don't also.

Shrekssister said:

Welcome tae all the new lovelies tae the 99% snakes oan this app club. The holiday was a particular highlight for us OGs oan here but stick about because he's genuinely like this all the time. Ask us anything, gies us the chance tae reminisce about the highlights

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There’s many things that make this the best thread on Tattle, but the cunt women on this thread really are so welcoming to everyone and everyone is so happy to help newbies get to ken what’s going on. Worth your gold in weight.

Hi hens, new thread in time fur the post holiday come doon #takemebaaacckkk

Thanks tae oor baby gurl @Rayne oor wean fur the fab new title. Holiday boaby, wit mair dae youse need, also.

Summary of last thread, gruesome twosome went oan holiday, OOTD, wee Deek wi his karate moves and sales of Tena lady hit the truth thanks tae the 99% of wummin cunts oan this vile app.

Keep tattling!

This cannot be real life ???????!



Utterly screaming and so forth

Derek, not a single thought in that head also.

Been treatit the day with dos OOTD’s

Babybail93 said:

I just can’t explain how happy this wee holiday has made me it’s like he’s read everything we predicted and has done ALL OF IT!

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I know hen, it's uncanny.

Scottishmammy said:

Always been an water baby?! You’re a 40 year old man! And never once have you mentioned swimming or went swimming in your bespoke Instagram journey the nonsense that he spews is insane.

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Excuse you hen but he and his man titties took a dip in Johnny’s bespoke inflatable hot tub. That makes him an actual mermaid.

Feck off!. They've actually packed their cups

Ferguson said:

@hopethishelpsallthebest do you'se have time to give oor Marion lash extensions please?
Also x

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Marion cannae afford lashes hen, he blew all his petty cash on badges! Affronted!