Zoe Sugg #49 Five go absolutely nowhere, unless it's gifted

[jackolantern]

Tbf I had my baby 4 1/2 months ago and still see a consultant who refers to me as postpartum. I mean I’ve got health issues still so that might be why, but I think postpartum and postpartum period are different? Like postpartum is just literally following childbirth isn’t it? Whereas the technical ‘postpartum period’ is 3 months.

I mean regardless she’s a lazy dick with no excuses

Copied from wikipedia: Postpartum confinement refers to a system for recovery following childbirth. It begins immediately after the birth, and lasts for a culturally variable length: typically for one month or 30 days, up to 40 days, two months or 100 days. Ottie was born on August 29 2021, which is 302 days (or basically 10 months) from today (June 27 2022), so Zoe has been refering to her 'postpartum period' for at least 3 times what the word means.

Also anyone else think that Zoe and Alfie are holding Ottie a bit awkward like they don't really hold her that often? I've felt like this for a long time, but that can just be me

Two posts where I can see it a bit, can't really find a better example

I thought the marshmallow was a corncob in her hot chocolate photo

 

[fidgetjo]

Any sign of life from the worlds most boring/lazy influencer?

Nope! Nothing at all from her or even of her on other peoples accounts. Complete silence… clearly no good ads coming up.

 

[coconochanel]

God what is she wearing? I cant believe this is the same girl who used to look fashionable.

 

[cj_ii]

Poor Mark didn’t really know what to say about it did he? They were gonna watch The Witches and Zoe was like wanna see a real horror movie?? Lol I don’t have children but I guess watching your own child being born is quite fascinating to see and emotional but I can’t imagine ever wanting to watch someone else’s birthing video like even close friends and my sister! Watched one episode of One Born Every Minute once, they blur loads out and even that was too much for me

I’m the opposite, I am obsessed with birth, I have two kids. I watch every programme, listen to every podcast and I will happily listen to anyones birth story.

 

[at-the-disco]

there's no chance in hell those sofas are comfy

 

[fidgetjo]

Do you mean Holly? I can’t remember a Carrie. If it’s Holly then she got a new job and left. Can’t remember more than that!

No Zoe had a personal assistant for years called Carrie. The earliest I remember her being was in their old house as Carrie used to work in that tiny little office off the kitchen whilst Zoe was off doing random shit most of the day.

 

[coconochanel]

I wonder how that couch to 5k is going?

 

[Faten]

View attachment 1373439

Simply tragic.

Shes always so salty about it lmao!

 

[louseylou]

Someone needs to tell Zoe the post partum period is actually only 6 weeks…. Not almost 10 months on.

Also, surely her hair would have grown more than that in 10 months? I mean my sisters hair doesn't look like that and my niece is 6 months old.

 

[Lilykins]

There’s the next thread title!

I’d gladly take it

Zoe was obviously so knackered from her exercise (read - ad posting) that she hasn’t had the energy to up date her followers on how her exercise went.

 

[sparklellama]

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Oh Zoella be quiet

Also having been to a few of these… the photo is not realistic haha

 

[Bobby Orange]

I feel like Zoe I've had a bath and now I'm having a pizza

Did you watch Witches though?

 

[Lemontree04]

I randomly checked her private Insta account yesterday and I believe it had 410 posts, today it has 412. She really seems more active on there than on her main account.

 

[Fueislfs]

Love that she unwrapped it just to paint right behind it. Idiot. It's so ugly too, but I guess if everyone else has it she has to, too!

She is soooo bad for this, very anything you can do I can do better nature about her

 

[judgeydrudgey]

that desc reads like its from an utterly obsessed person.
anyone else remember their childhood to this detail or do I just lack long term memory skills?

or did she made it up to sound cool and relatable

Pretty sure she made at least some of it up. The caption is just a meme trend that was popular maybe 6 months to a year ago

 

[Bobby Orange]

Why don't her lips reach the end of her mouth line? She really looks like a Tim Burton creation.

And THOSE FUCKING SUNGLASSES. I'm not a violent person but I'd love to slap those godawful twatgoggles right off her face.

You're right. She looks like Sally from Nightmare before Christmas.

 

[cherryblossomlatte]

I follow Caroline on IG. I think she stopped working for Zoe/Zoella a few years ago. I always wondered what happened.
Zoe still follows her though.

Oh! She changed her name! Zoe still follow her and comments, she also still follows Zoe

 

[xits_jjx]

Here in France, I am picking gifts up here and there for my niece or nephew who is due in November and am able to find quite a lot of unisex stuff in bright colours and fun prints, though I am sticking to yellows, ochres, sage green, teal as I like to choose an animal theme for my niblings ( fox and panda so far), and this one has two: duck (ling)/goose and giraffe .

I’m pregnant with a boy and I’m proud to say, he doesn’t have a single beige outfit in his wardrobe I’ve also gone for lots of sage colours and animal prints.

I feel sorry for Zoe, she’s totally lost herself and has no sense of individuality. She doesn’t stand out at all. Beige like her closet and diet.

 

[Tove_drew]

Could be eBay handbags, they’ve got Anna edit shilling for them and I can see Zoe getting on board and saying “guys it’s so scary buying bags second hand... omg I feel so grown up ”.

 

[xoxoxo13]

He never smiles properly.

I wouldn't either if i had horse dentures like his