Since its VLOGMAS
VLOGMAS DAY 1
- the first 6 minutes are Zoe telling us shes doing a "chilled laidback vlogmas", she basically moaned how its hard to edit 2 hour footage a day
-She didn't film on the 1st Dec and said "recently I've been feeling not great mental health wise". She said "she didn't want to say that" but said she should as a Mind Digital Ambassador --- what does she ACTUALLY do for Mind? And shes forever blaming everything on her mental health. Wouldn't be surprised if she starts saying "its because I'm an Aries"
- Zoe: "Vlogmas isn't going to be twinkly lights and smiley happy faces" ---- so why does she constantly SHOW that to her young, impressionable fans?
-Zoe: "I'm gonna film if and when" --- The number 1 female UK Youtuber ladies & gents
- Zoe: "I'm Mrs Christmas" ---- the delusion of grandeur are real
- She wasn't actually going to do Vlogmas. But due to her own ego she's doing it, because her videos make people happy.
- Zoe and crew get not ONE BUT TWO FREEBIES. The National. History museum ice skating and Winter Wonderland cabin with karaoke. What a jammy git!
- Shes off to NYC next week with Alfie and probably everyone under the sun so her & Zalfie spend minimum time together
- She opens her chocolate calendar and she legit says the same line she said 2 years ago about not able to work out what shape the chocolate is. Shea so predictable
- Her smear test came back inconclusive so she got another one and she needs to change her contraception and go back in January 2020. No pregnancy for ZoZo.
- Zoe: "I'm going to sit here and watch this show and wait for Alfie to get back" -- what a pathetic existence
- Zoe and her band of merry idiots get on the train to London and act like a bunch of children
-At the National History Museum. Soppy skate together whilst Zoe skates with Mark. Alfie is nowhere until hes spotted behind Mark hugging him and Dave hugging Alfie -- pic attached as he seemed more comfortable in Mark's ass than Zoes
- They head home on the train and twatface Alfie is playing with his toy
- Zoe adds a clip of herself hugging Alfie whilst hes on his phone sooo disinterested (he was happier in Mark's arsecrack tbh)
VLOGMAS DAY 2:
- Zoe bangs on about a Christmas mince pie porridge she bought shes dying to try
- She then talks about taste testing Christmas sandwiches and is speaking to Alfie "do you know which was my fave one" ---Alfie is legit not listening and looking for food in the fridge. #Couplegoals
- Alfie then re-engage and spouts in his very Tory manner how we should order new things in restaurants instead of the same thing. Zoe did mock him "Your Mr I'll order 3 things at once because I can't decide" ---- plus you're a millionaire and don't care if you spend £15 on a meal you hated, you'll buy 2 more!
- Zoe then mocked Cafe Nero "when do you ever go to a Nero"
- Alfie had SOUP FOR BREAKFAST because they had no milk in???? These two are grown adults and can't buy milk without it going off, but she wants a baby?????
- Zoe: "Me and Alfie doing are cute little editing couple"
Alfie "it's the opposite of cute as we are sitting here not talking"
- Alfie is off to NYC with Mini, so Zoe is tagging along with Lottie and Zak
- Apparently in Zoes eyes "adulting" is sorting out accommodation a week before your flight and booking a flight for Zak (he didn't have a flight booked but I guess Zoe doesn't trust Alfie with just Lottie)
- Alfie and Zoe go down The Lanes in Brighton and Alfie buys a game and Zoe buys pick n mix. Are they 5??
- They end up at Wahaca with Zottie, Soppy and Mark. (Which I'm sure they didn't pay for because that's their new spot since Jamies closed down)
- Then head to a pub for Christmas carols
- More Mark and Zalfie embracing
- Zalfie get home and Zoe changes into her "cosys"---shes literally RUINED the word cosy
- Then they agreed to a group colonic irrigation (Zalfie and Mark)
- Mark little shady comment to Zoe
Zoe: I'm so interested to see how much comes out
Mark: Yeah because you're backed up. You eat pizza and sweets
**btw I like how her intro card for Vlogmas doesn't feature Alfie