Mmmm I wonder why slugella decided to go? Could it be because she is aware Lottie is a far better fit as a girlfriend than her manipulative self?
Zoe Sugg #11 Christmas is cancelled! Mrs Claus and Santa are staying in bed!
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She also talks much more naturally when its just her and the camera. I liked her old accent better than the one she puts on around people.
Lottie is married, isn't she? I can see Zoe deciding the past few trips has been without her so he doesn't get a say in not taking her because New York.
Lottie is married, isn't she? I can see Zoe deciding the past few trips has been without her so he doesn't get a say in not taking her because New York.
No that’s maddie I think you’re thinking of, lottie is just in a relationship with Zach (one of the boys who sucks Alfie off and tells him how well he’s doing)
Vlogmas Day 3 (2): Christmas Carols & Colonics
It's breakfast time in the Zalfie not a mansion and Zoe is eating a new thing. It's mince pie flavored porridge. It has raisins in it. Cue raisin/grape tangent. Alfie is playing kendama and making chicken soup because they don't have milk so he can't eat cereal, therefore he must eat soup for breakfast-there is no other option.
We have learned that Alfie opens his mouth when he farts- hurray.
We get to talk about the sandwich taste testing blog post and cafe nero.
Zoe liked the porridge until Alfie said he didn't and the flavor is too strong to eat a lot of, at which point she decides yes, the flavor is nice but too strong to eat more than a few bites of.
They have #couplegoalzzzz time, sat there not speaking just editing.
They are going to New York City on a gifted trip, please increase their engagement by telling them what to do while they are there and what to eat and please plan their trip for them, k thanks.
"We have to remember these calendars are for children."
Time to show you the coffee calendar I gave to Alfie.
Time to say a quote on my mirror about how being a good person is more important that being beautiful the irony of which is wasted on me.
Time to show you all the brands I'm wearing today.
We learn she calls Doc Martens "docked martens" and we hate it.
They go in to Brighton to buy more puzzle toys and talk about fudge and pickamix for way too long.
They play the puzzle games and eat together. They are VERY surprised that they are the first people to dinner. We get to learn about Zoe's favorite dinner at this restaurant and everything they have ordered.
(They have such a weird way of talking about what they are buying. Like, they have the exact same speech patterns when they are giving a makeup tutorial/talking about gifted products as when they are talking about what they decided to drink. It's bizarre.)
They sing Christmas Carols.
Alfie is cold so Zoe runs him a bath.
She is really into lounge wear, like high quality lounge wear guys.
Zoe and Mark put on accents that make me want to scream.
They watch tv together. They are just like that tv show duo. People tell them that. Tons of people tell them that guys. Loads.
They watch a vet checking on a cow and putting his arm up the cow's anoooos which is so funny they have to repeat it several times. Mark is confident they would have fun working on a farm. Zoe is realistic for once in her life and not thinking it's a good idea.
Then they finish up with a 5 minute conversation of colonics. Mark's douching habits are mentioned and the fear of people looking at your assholes.
#1 I think they need to learn that they don't need to include full conversations every single time and maybe try montages set to stock vlogging music or something to make these less horrible.
#2 I think they've seen a lot of the Zalfie break up rumors being flung about and are trying to be more coupley and apparent in each other's vlogs.
It's breakfast time in the Zalfie not a mansion and Zoe is eating a new thing. It's mince pie flavored porridge. It has raisins in it. Cue raisin/grape tangent. Alfie is playing kendama and making chicken soup because they don't have milk so he can't eat cereal, therefore he must eat soup for breakfast-there is no other option.
We have learned that Alfie opens his mouth when he farts- hurray.
We get to talk about the sandwich taste testing blog post and cafe nero.
Zoe liked the porridge until Alfie said he didn't and the flavor is too strong to eat a lot of, at which point she decides yes, the flavor is nice but too strong to eat more than a few bites of.
They have #couplegoalzzzz time, sat there not speaking just editing.
They are going to New York City on a gifted trip, please increase their engagement by telling them what to do while they are there and what to eat and please plan their trip for them, k thanks.
"We have to remember these calendars are for children."
Time to show you the coffee calendar I gave to Alfie.
Time to say a quote on my mirror about how being a good person is more important that being beautiful the irony of which is wasted on me.
Time to show you all the brands I'm wearing today.
We learn she calls Doc Martens "docked martens" and we hate it.
They go in to Brighton to buy more puzzle toys and talk about fudge and pickamix for way too long.
They play the puzzle games and eat together. They are VERY surprised that they are the first people to dinner. We get to learn about Zoe's favorite dinner at this restaurant and everything they have ordered.
(They have such a weird way of talking about what they are buying. Like, they have the exact same speech patterns when they are giving a makeup tutorial/talking about gifted products as when they are talking about what they decided to drink. It's bizarre.)
They sing Christmas Carols.
Alfie is cold so Zoe runs him a bath.
She is really into lounge wear, like high quality lounge wear guys.
Zoe and Mark put on accents that make me want to scream.
They watch tv together. They are just like that tv show duo. People tell them that. Tons of people tell them that guys. Loads.
They watch a vet checking on a cow and putting his arm up the cow's anoooos which is so funny they have to repeat it several times. Mark is confident they would have fun working on a farm. Zoe is realistic for once in her life and not thinking it's a good idea.
Then they finish up with a 5 minute conversation of colonics. Mark's douching habits are mentioned and the fear of people looking at your assholes.
#1 I think they need to learn that they don't need to include full conversations every single time and maybe try montages set to stock vlogging music or something to make these less horrible.
#2 I think they've seen a lot of the Zalfie break up rumors being flung about and are trying to be more coupley and apparent in each other's vlogs.
And to think Zoe sounded really excited about the NY trip but it can't be that exciting if it's a gifted trip and the person Alfie fancies is also going to be on that trip. Her name is not Zoe.
So much for that ring, Zoe. Better luck never.
So much for that ring, Zoe. Better luck never.
As much as alfie is a twit, its actually sad to see that hes probably just sick of her as we are, and is just wanting to let her know
Anyone else see Emily canham and her ex boyfriends video? they basically admitted the end of their relationship they'd grown to just hate each other but still filmed and kept up smiley vlogs for the fans and would have arguments on trips and be miserable but still post cute things
they aren't even that famous so I thought it was interesting how people do that for youtube, clearly dont think zoe and alfie even look like they like each other but still
Anyone else see Emily canham and her ex boyfriends video? they basically admitted the end of their relationship they'd grown to just hate each other but still filmed and kept up smiley vlogs for the fans and would have arguments on trips and be miserable but still post cute things
they aren't even that famous so I thought it was interesting how people do that for youtube, clearly dont think zoe and alfie even look like they like each other but still
I don't think he would ever give up the lifestyle and easy money. He's more relevant with Zoe than without. Plus, Zoe giving up on Vlogmas and with nothing else going on in her life, it's only going to keep going downhill for both of them. Her MH issues manifesting into a further downward spiral since she's decided doing absolutely nothing is the best remedy for her (it's not). His wandering eye... It's their properties and money that's keeping them together at this point. We will see how far that goes.
Hear me out - I think Zach and Lottie are going on the NYC trip because Zoe knows that Alfie fancies Lottie and wants to suss her out more. She will become close to her to keep an eye on Alfie.
This is like secondary school
Befriending your boyfriends friends (who happen to be girls) so she will feel like the "alpha female". It's like "look at me, I'm super nice and I've brought you on this trip to NYC. Just remember to stay away from Alfie - he's mine".
I'm so exhausted from writing that comment above - I need to lie down
This is like secondary school
Befriending your boyfriends friends (who happen to be girls) so she will feel like the "alpha female". It's like "look at me, I'm super nice and I've brought you on this trip to NYC. Just remember to stay away from Alfie - he's mine".I'm so exhausted from writing that comment above - I need to lie down
Hasn’t she known lottie for ages though? I just think it’s one of two things, 1) they’re scared to be alone with each other 2) because it’s a work trip they’ve swung bringing plus 1s as extra’s and then why wouldn’t you go to New York if it was free? You’d ride your ignorant boss for all he was worthHear me out - I think Zach and Lottie are going on the NYC trip because Zoe knows that Alfie fancies Lottie and wants to suss her out more. She will become close to her to keep an eye on Alfie.
This is like secondary school
I'm so exhausted from writing that comment above - I need to lie down
I wasn't sure if she's known Lottie for years - appreciate the correction
Lottie is his “photographer”. Needs them sick ImAgEs for the gram.
She just screams overly dependant. I really think there’s something deeper there than anxiety, hopefully her ‘therapist’ can figure it out or maybe they have already? But Zoe will continue to bury her head in the sand because it’s too scary.
Does. Not. Leave. Her. bleeping. House. Yet. Buys. Instant. ToGo. Porridge. In. A. bleeping. Plastic. Pot. Whilst. Talking. About. All. The. Ready. Made. Sandwiches. They. Buy
and nobody calls her out on it. At least Alfie seems to be using a bloody bowl.
“oh..my..god”
are we doing these lines again.....
“I mean”
she’s a bleeping 29 year old toddler talking about disguising her food with sugar whilst looking like a geriatric woman.........it’s the weirdest thing.
the fake glasses really don’t suit her.
i am glad she can manage her depression enough to be able to go to New York and make sure Alfie doesn’t shag Lottie
you little MH fighter Zoe
and nobody calls her out on it. At least Alfie seems to be using a bloody bowl.
“oh..my..god”
are we doing these lines again.....
“I mean”
she’s a bleeping 29 year old toddler talking about disguising her food with sugar whilst looking like a geriatric woman.........it’s the weirdest thing.
the fake glasses really don’t suit her.
i am glad she can manage her depression enough to be able to go to New York and make sure Alfie doesn’t shag Lottie
you little MH fighter Zoe
Since its VLOGMAS
VLOGMAS DAY 1
- the first 6 minutes are Zoe telling us shes doing a "chilled laidback vlogmas", she basically moaned how its hard to edit 2 hour footage a day
-She didn't film on the 1st Dec and said "recently I've been feeling not great mental health wise". She said "she didn't want to say that" but said she should as a Mind Digital Ambassador --- what does she ACTUALLY do for Mind? And shes forever blaming everything on her mental health. Wouldn't be surprised if she starts saying "its because I'm an Aries"
- Zoe: "Vlogmas isn't going to be twinkly lights and smiley happy faces" ---- so why does she constantly SHOW that to her young, impressionable fans?
-Zoe: "I'm gonna film if and when" --- The number 1 female UK Youtuber ladies & gents
- Zoe: "I'm Mrs Christmas" ---- the delusion of grandeur are real
- She wasn't actually going to do Vlogmas. But due to her own ego she's doing it, because her videos make people happy.
- Zoe and crew get not ONE BUT TWO FREEBIES. The National. History museum ice skating and Winter Wonderland cabin with karaoke. What a jammy git!
- Shes off to NYC next week with Alfie and probably everyone under the sun so her & Zalfie spend minimum time together
- She opens her chocolate calendar and she legit says the same line she said 2 years ago about not able to work out what shape the chocolate is. Shea so predictable
- Her smear test came back inconclusive so she got another one and she needs to change her contraception and go back in January 2020. No pregnancy for ZoZo.
- Zoe: "I'm going to sit here and watch this show and wait for Alfie to get back" -- what a pathetic existence
- Zoe and her band of merry idiots get on the train to London and act like a bunch of children
-At the National History Museum. Soppy skate together whilst Zoe skates with Mark. Alfie is nowhere until hes spotted behind Mark hugging him and Dave hugging Alfie -- pic attached as he seemed more comfortable in Mark's ass than Zoes
- They head home on the train and twatface Alfie is playing with his toy
- Zoe adds a clip of herself hugging Alfie whilst hes on his phone sooo disinterested (he was happier in Mark's arsecrack tbh)
VLOGMAS DAY 2:
- Zoe bangs on about a Christmas mince pie porridge she bought shes dying to try
- She then talks about taste testing Christmas sandwiches and is speaking to Alfie "do you know which was my fave one" ---Alfie is legit not listening and looking for food in the fridge. #Couplegoals
- Alfie then re-engage and spouts in his very Tory manner how we should order new things in restaurants instead of the same thing. Zoe did mock him "Your Mr I'll order 3 things at once because I can't decide" ---- plus you're a millionaire and don't care if you spend £15 on a meal you hated, you'll buy 2 more!
- Zoe then mocked Cafe Nero "when do you ever go to a Nero"
- Alfie had SOUP FOR BREAKFAST because they had no milk in???? These two are grown adults and can't buy milk without it going off, but she wants a baby?????
- Zoe: "Me and Alfie doing are cute little editing couple"
Alfie "it's the opposite of cute as we are sitting here not talking"
- Alfie is off to NYC with Mini, so Zoe is tagging along with Lottie and Zak
- Apparently in Zoes eyes "adulting" is sorting out accommodation a week before your flight and booking a flight for Zak (he didn't have a flight booked but I guess Zoe doesn't trust Alfie with just Lottie)
- Alfie and Zoe go down The Lanes in Brighton and Alfie buys a game and Zoe buys pick n mix. Are they 5??
- They end up at Wahaca with Zottie, Soppy and Mark. (Which I'm sure they didn't pay for because that's their new spot since Jamies closed down)
- Then head to a pub for Christmas carols
- More Mark and Zalfie embracing
- Zalfie get home and Zoe changes into her "cosys"---shes literally RUINED the word cosy
- Then they agreed to a group colonic irrigation (Zalfie and Mark)
- Mark little shady comment to Zoe
Zoe: I'm so interested to see how much comes out
Mark: Yeah because you're backed up. You eat pizza and sweets
**btw I like how her intro card for Vlogmas doesn't feature Alfie
VLOGMAS DAY 1
- the first 6 minutes are Zoe telling us shes doing a "chilled laidback vlogmas", she basically moaned how its hard to edit 2 hour footage a day
-She didn't film on the 1st Dec and said "recently I've been feeling not great mental health wise". She said "she didn't want to say that" but said she should as a Mind Digital Ambassador --- what does she ACTUALLY do for Mind? And shes forever blaming everything on her mental health. Wouldn't be surprised if she starts saying "its because I'm an Aries"
- Zoe: "Vlogmas isn't going to be twinkly lights and smiley happy faces" ---- so why does she constantly SHOW that to her young, impressionable fans?
-Zoe: "I'm gonna film if and when" --- The number 1 female UK Youtuber ladies & gents
- Zoe: "I'm Mrs Christmas" ---- the delusion of grandeur are real
- She wasn't actually going to do Vlogmas. But due to her own ego she's doing it, because her videos make people happy.
- Zoe and crew get not ONE BUT TWO FREEBIES. The National. History museum ice skating and Winter Wonderland cabin with karaoke. What a jammy git!
- Shes off to NYC next week with Alfie and probably everyone under the sun so her & Zalfie spend minimum time together
- She opens her chocolate calendar and she legit says the same line she said 2 years ago about not able to work out what shape the chocolate is. Shea so predictable
- Her smear test came back inconclusive so she got another one and she needs to change her contraception and go back in January 2020. No pregnancy for ZoZo.
- Zoe: "I'm going to sit here and watch this show and wait for Alfie to get back" -- what a pathetic existence
- Zoe and her band of merry idiots get on the train to London and act like a bunch of children
-At the National History Museum. Soppy skate together whilst Zoe skates with Mark. Alfie is nowhere until hes spotted behind Mark hugging him and Dave hugging Alfie -- pic attached as he seemed more comfortable in Mark's ass than Zoes
- They head home on the train and twatface Alfie is playing with his toy
- Zoe adds a clip of herself hugging Alfie whilst hes on his phone sooo disinterested (he was happier in Mark's arsecrack tbh)
VLOGMAS DAY 2:
- Zoe bangs on about a Christmas mince pie porridge she bought shes dying to try
- She then talks about taste testing Christmas sandwiches and is speaking to Alfie "do you know which was my fave one" ---Alfie is legit not listening and looking for food in the fridge. #Couplegoals
- Alfie then re-engage and spouts in his very Tory manner how we should order new things in restaurants instead of the same thing. Zoe did mock him "Your Mr I'll order 3 things at once because I can't decide" ---- plus you're a millionaire and don't care if you spend £15 on a meal you hated, you'll buy 2 more!
- Zoe then mocked Cafe Nero "when do you ever go to a Nero"
- Alfie had SOUP FOR BREAKFAST because they had no milk in???? These two are grown adults and can't buy milk without it going off, but she wants a baby?????
- Zoe: "Me and Alfie doing are cute little editing couple"
Alfie "it's the opposite of cute as we are sitting here not talking"
- Alfie is off to NYC with Mini, so Zoe is tagging along with Lottie and Zak
- Apparently in Zoes eyes "adulting" is sorting out accommodation a week before your flight and booking a flight for Zak (he didn't have a flight booked but I guess Zoe doesn't trust Alfie with just Lottie)
- Alfie and Zoe go down The Lanes in Brighton and Alfie buys a game and Zoe buys pick n mix. Are they 5??
- They end up at Wahaca with Zottie, Soppy and Mark. (Which I'm sure they didn't pay for because that's their new spot since Jamies closed down)
- Then head to a pub for Christmas carols
- More Mark and Zalfie embracing
- Zalfie get home and Zoe changes into her "cosys"---shes literally RUINED the word cosy
- Then they agreed to a group colonic irrigation (Zalfie and Mark)
- Mark little shady comment to Zoe
Zoe: I'm so interested to see how much comes out
Mark: Yeah because you're backed up. You eat pizza and sweets
**btw I like how her intro card for Vlogmas doesn't feature Alfie
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I actually agree with both you guys - although she has some abysmal work ethics and morals, I don't mind watching her when shes alone pottering about and chit chatting (if its actually about something and not just her her her). That is one thing I liked in her old vlogmas videos, where she's just by herself, wrapping presents and talking about the designs, or things she wants to bake, or when she visited back home and would show the landscape and talk about stuff (distant memory now, I know) - these things were actually watchable, and relatable.
The pressure she spoke about is all her own doing because she kept thinking she needs to put on a show, get bigger, be more extravagant, include more people.
I don't think she realises her viewers (not just the tween fans, even some of us more critical ones) actually appreciate the "simple" approach. I know some people here hate the garden center content, but I'd actually love if she went and just talked about plants or things she wants to do around her home with decor - but only if she went alone and it wasn't sponsored..... So I guess thats wishful thinking ha!
Gifted New York could well be the last straw for me.
And for Zoe if she hears “Alf” is trying to hump Lottie in rockefeller centre whilst she eats pizza in bed at 5pm!
I’m excited for the potential vlogs!!!
Does anyone remember for what occasion it was that Alfie came home with flowers for Zoe and had a nice dinner planned, and she flat out stated she would rather stay home? I was thinking it was her birthday or an anniversary, but I can't find anything. It was at least a few years ago.
Thank you! I got them mixed up
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