What would you do if your partner did this ?

[littlepup]

I'd find it quite soul destroying if I knew my partner was having a crafty wank behind my back, especially if it was over someone else! Seems to be not much respect for you at all really

I’m really surprised someone would be upset or think it’s disrespectful for their partner to wank while in a relationship .... or think it’s ‘over someone else’ either, i’d think sometimes it’s just the urge isn’t it? I mean, at what stage on the relationship do you stop?! I’d never considered it.

The wanking wouldn’t worry me at all, especially if I’d just had a baby. I’d be super arsed off about leaving the socks & shite out & the general slobby behaviour. Rather eat sweets and crap then come to bed with me. I wouldn’t even want my OHs sweaty, dirty socks down the sofa let alone spunky ones!

I’d suggest getting a box of tissues and a waste paper basket and keeping them on/under a table next to the sofa. No excuses. If he can’t even then put his wrappers into the bin next to him then it’s a real case of disrespect and idolness and he needs to grow up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s wiping his bogies on that sofa!

 

[under the ivy]

My ex was like this (with the food wrappers) and one day I just stopped picking them up. He soon learnt I wasn’t his maid.

Rub chilli powder in his socks

 

[Loveitme]

Is he sat watching porn to get his socks all messy or just highly sexed

I have no idea

The litter for me depends on other things. My partner and I always go to bed at the same time, but he will leave socks (cum free), empty cans and bits of crap on and around the couch. Which I usually pick up the morning after. I have mentioned it before and he started picking it up, but then he got out of the habit again (his family are slobs and this is something they’ve always done and still do). The only reason I don’t nag about it is because he does loads of things for me while I sit on my lazy arse and he pulls his weight around the house in all other ways, plus he’s a hard worker, so I pick my battles and let it go.

Obviously though if the OPs partner does nothing around the house usually and is just a slob then yeah I’d be speaking to him about it.

He doesn’t do anything around the house but he is hard working in his job and he is thoughtful in other ways .
When he’s not telling me to duck off and expecting me to clean his cum socks and tit stains off the toilet

 

[monga]

I have no idea

How would you feel if that were the case ? would you take a different view of it then ( I mean not everyone has a problem with a porn addiction )it's just you said it's happening every night.

 

[Loveitme]

I’m really surprised someone would be upset or think it’s disrespectful for their partner to wank while in a relationship .... or think it’s ‘over someone else’ either, i’d think sometimes it’s just the urge isn’t it? I mean, at what stage on the relationship do you stop?! I’d never considered it.

The wanking wouldn’t worry me at all, especially if I’d just had a baby. I’d be super arsed off about leaving the socks & shite out & the general slobby behaviour. Rather eat sweets and crap then come to bed with me. I wouldn’t even want my OHs sweaty, dirty socks down the sofa let alone spunky ones!

I’d suggest getting a box of tissues and a waste paper basket and keeping them on/under a table next to the sofa. No excuses. If he can’t even then put his wrappers into the bin next to him then it’s a real case of disrespect and idolness and he needs to grow up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s wiping his bogies on that sofa!

He can go to the bathroom for a wank or get his own tissues and make sure I never know about it ,out of sight out of mind for me .Same for the food ,he can stuff his face just don’t leave it for me to clear up

How would you feel if that were the case ? would you take a different view of it then ( I mean not everyone has a problem with a porn addiction )it's just you said it's happening every night.

I’m not that bothered really .I don’t think he’s a porn addict tbh .I don’t know that he’s wanking every night ,we do have sex but the past 10 days we haven’t as our baby had been really poorly and won’t sleep

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

He doesn’t do anything around the house but he is hard working in his job and he is thoughtful in other ways .
When he’s not telling me to duck off

That last phrase implies he does that regularly. That's even more of an issue than litter, IMO.

 

[Loveitme]

That last phrase implies he does that regularly. That's even more of an issue than litter, IMO.

Twice

 

[monga]

He can go to the bathroom for a wank or get his own tissues and make sure I never know about it ,out of sight out of mind for me .Same for the food ,he can stuff his face just don’t leave it for me to clear up


I’m not that bothered really .I don’t think he’s a porn addict tbh .I don’t know that he’s wanking every night ,we do have sex but the past 10 days we haven’t as our baby had been really poorly and won’t sleep

Oh sorry I picked it up wrong I thought you meant it was happening every/most nights .I can only say if you're happy in the relationship then there's no problem everyone has their ups and downs but personally I always think it's best to tell them what's on your mind or else things just build up over time and it can make the situation worse if you feel he should be doing more tell him x

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Twice

Both recently? If so, it sounds like a pattern is starting.

 

[Loveitme]

Both recently? If so, it sounds like a pattern is starting.

Both today

Both today

I took the baby up to bed straight after and when I came down for a drink he said hello .I’ve just ignored him and come to bed

 

[littlepup]

He can go to the bathroom for a wank or get his own tissues and make sure I never know about it ,out of sight out of mind for me .Same for the food ,he can stuff his face just don’t leave it for me to clear up

No I get that, but I mean since I thought he’s not doing it, never does and you are, a bin and tissues might help.least it keeps in on one place.
I might have missed something Tbf

 

[Definitelyme]

Both today


I took the baby up to bed straight after and when I came down for a drink he said hello .I’ve just ignored him and come to bed

Im wondering if there is maybe something going on with him? If he has told you to duck off twice in one day, and that is out of normal character, along with the other things, is there a possibility that he may have some deeper issues at play? Any mental health issues which may be flaring up?

I am not trying to excuse his behaviour, however, as I think he is 100% out of line and treating you very poorly.

 

[Scorpihoe]

If he’s planning another night of snacking and wanking off on the sofa, if I were you, I’d hide all his socks and hide all the snacks in the fridge.

Except for one tub of Philadelphia cheese

So he can think about what he’s done.

 

[minskks]

The telling you to duck off is the huge red flag here. He also sounds like he has little respect for you or your home. You are not here to serve nor clear up after him. He is so overweight you worry about your sofa yet he persists in eating all the kid's treats then leaves a tit tip for you to clear up each morning. He hardly sounds a prince. I would rather be single than tolerate a man who treats you like this. You do know what verbal abuse is?

 

[PennyLane321]

Im wondering if there is maybe something going on with him? If he has told you to duck off twice in one day, and that is out of normal character, along with the other things, is there a possibility that he may have some deeper issues at play? Any mental health issues which may be flaring up?

I am not trying to excuse his behaviour, however, as I think he is 100% out of line and treating you very poorly.

I think he’s probably just mortified that he’s been called out for leaving his wank sock lying about (not an excuse for telling you to duck off either but I wouldn’t read too much into it). Also, if your baby hasn’t been well you’re probably both stressed and emotions will be heightened. Just tell him you don’t care about him wanking or eating sweets but he needs to stop leaving his crap lying about and you won’t be cleaning it up any longer

 

[BettyCrocker]

Has he always behaved like this - staying up till all hours and gorging on crap?? I don’t think it’s normal for this to be a nightly occurrence. Goring on junk food like that and staying up late sounds very like he could be suffering with depression



the wanking wouldn’t bother me. The wanking into a sock and then leaving a crusty cummy sock for you to clear up is just disrespectful and pretty gross.

 

[Loveitme]

Has he always behaved like this - staying up till all hours and gorging on crap?? I don’t think it’s normal for this to be a nightly occurrence. Goring on junk food like that and staying up late sounds very like he could be suffering with depression



the wanking wouldn’t bother me. The wanking into a sock and then leaving a crusty cummy sock for you to clear up is just disrespectful and pretty gross.

Nope not always but he has always had a habit of not eating all day then eating a days worth of food at night .He says he doesn’t like going up to bed with me early because he likes to have some time to feel like he’s been at home rather than work then straight to bed .I do stay up with him some nights but I can’t really do late nights .He used to come up to bed early with me a lot more when I was pregnant

I think he’s probably just mortified that he’s been called out for leaving his wank sock lying about (not an excuse for telling you to duck off either but I wouldn’t read too much into it). Also, if your baby hasn’t been well you’re probably both stressed and emotions will be heightened. Just tell him you don’t care about him wanking or eating sweets but he needs to stop leaving his crap lying about and you won’t be cleaning it up any longer

Yes he is definitely very worried about our baby .We’re waiting for covid tests back and he has an ear infection .If it’s not covid I think he may have a chest infection however I’m waiting to see how he is through the night and for the test results back.Partner wants to take him to a & e ,kept asking me what I thought then being pissed off when I told him so I said take him then and I got told to duck off

 

[Scorpihoe]

Nope not always but he has always had a habit of not eating all day then eating a days worth of food at night .He says he doesn’t like going up to bed with me early because he likes to have some time to feel like he’s been at home rather than work then straight to bed .I do stay up with him some nights but I can’t really do late nights .He used to come up to bed early with me a lot more when I was pregnant


Yes he is definitely very worried about our baby .We’re waiting for covid tests back and he has an ear infection .If it’s not covid I think he may have a chest infection however I’m waiting to see how he is through the night and for the test results back.Partner wants to take him to a & e ,kept asking me what I thought then being pissed off when I told him so I said take him then and I got told to duck off

What a very odd thing to tell you to duck off about. You’re literally discussing the health of your baby, it’s not like you were doing anything wrong?? He needs to respect you more!

 

[Definitelyme]

Nope not always but he has always had a habit of not eating all day then eating a days worth of food at night .He says he doesn’t like going up to bed with me early because he likes to have some time to feel like he’s been at home rather than work then straight to bed .I do stay up with him some nights but I can’t really do late nights .He used to come up to bed early with me a lot more when I was pregnant


Yes he is definitely very worried about our baby .We’re waiting for covid tests back and he has an ear infection .If it’s not covid I think he may have a chest infection however I’m waiting to see how he is through the night and for the test results back.Partner wants to take him to a & e ,kept asking me what I thought then being pissed off when I told him so I said take him then and I got told to duck off

i hope you little boy is ok.

 

[Loveitme]

i hope you little boy is ok.

Thankyou