What do you want to rant about today #8

[PartTimeNoseyWitch]

I am absolutely sick to death of weird fucking “friends” and feeling like I’m constantly being anally shafted with no lube or a part of some kind of study to see how far someone can be pushed before they snap. The particular group of “friends” I naturally distanced from a few years ago due to a bit of weirdness and no support when I had a very traumatic split from an ex who I’d spent half my adult life with, at that time I’d supported them through similar literally dropping everything some evenings to go and make sure they were ok, when it came to me it was crickets, even when I asked (and I never ever ask) if someone could pop round as I’d be on my own for a few days because I couldn’t face leaving the house they were “too busy” (at this point no kids or particularly demanding jobs). Luckily I managed to find a new group of friends who actually wanted to go out and do stuff and were more positive, outgoing and uplifting.

Anyways my old friends did keep in touch after I buggered off in parts although the first couple of years we hardly spoke and would invite me (sometimes) to their Birthdays etc. I decided that maybe I was being too harsh and had perhaps twisted what happened and got it wrong. Last year I was asked to be a bridesmaid for one of them which I was a bit confused by as we’re far from close and I was asked face to face in front of others so I didn’t really know what to do other than say yes but then came the inevitable hen do and wedding anxiety as I didn’t really want to get fully wrapped up in the group again. A few weeks ago I paid hundreds for the hen do (including the brides costs which was split between the few) and went out for one of their Birthdays which cost me £200 and it was my Birthday last week and one of them didn’t wish me Happy Birthday at all and the other just posted it in a group chat we’re in which was a bit casual considering I’m meant to be their bridesmaid (we’ve all known each other for 20 years so they all know my Birthday and would’ve seen others wishing me hbd on socials). Now I don’t think at all that friendship is about counting pennies or favours but I just feel like I’ve been used to boost numbers on occasions where friends lack because they haven’t evolved past high school and I think it’s rude, I feel like nothing has changed from the first time I was friends with them and this may sound weird but I feel like I get treated in a lesser way and if I react then I’ll be the big bad wolf (which has happened before). I was also extremely upset by the way one of them used a racist slur and when I expressed my distaste the rest of them downplayed it. I sit and rack my brains about if it’s a me problem but I think I am quite self aware and you can’t deny seeing others get better treatment than you. I don’t have these problems with my other friends. Anyways just wanted to write it all down and get it off my chest. I look forward to seeing out the bridesmaid commitment (which I dread but will put on a brave face) and then completely distancing and moving on with my life. I absolutely need to learn to say no instead of being scared to be painted as a villain.

 

[Rxt156]

Men that make plans willy nilly without a second though for their child but I can’t even have a piss without arranging childcare

 

[Thank(space)you]

I've had a long, stressful day with my child. I wish I had more of a support network. I wish my daughter's dad would help either by having her more since he quit his job, or by getting a new job and helping financially. I'm just so fed up of doing everything on my own.

 

[Mamacita]

My bloody child I say child, he's in his 20s although currently having a toddler tantrum so child is appropriate).

He is doing a 350 mile drive tomorrow in my car, returning on Sat. This is fine, no issues with him borrowing it (his car is not suitable to be driven that far) except...I just checked the tyres when I went out on a break to walk the dog (not my dog, I dogsit for a friend once or twice a week) because I thought this was sensible before a long drive, and I know he won't do it, and there is a split in the tyre. It's clearly not a full split as the tyre isn't flat but I don't think driving 350 miles on it is sensible especially as my car has no spare tyre.

We have a great local tyre place to us but it closes at 5pm. I have the dog until 8pm today and am also working.

So I said to him either he can take it when he finishes at 4.30 (we both WFH), I can give him the money - response was 'No I'm not taking it'.
Or I will take it at 8am tomorrow which is when they open (he is leaving here at 9am). His response to that was I'll need to be there well before 8 as there will already be people waiting there then.

I've told him if the tyre isn't replaced he's not taking my car, and he's currently banging and crashing around (deliberately) in his room because this has annoyed him.

I can't take it this afternoon because a) I'm meant to be working and b) he won't look after the dog.

Definitely stick to your plan to not give him the car if he's not going to take it to change the tyre!!!

 

[qwikti]

Feel like I’m here complaining about a friend an awful lot (a sign I should take maybe?…) - but I really am sick of women who think of themselves as being a girls’ girl (all the ‘women supporting women!!’, ‘no pickmes!!’ etc) but when it comes to responding to achievement in someone close to them, you sense a real envy in them. Because they’ve carved this image as being ‘women supporting women!!1!!’, they won’t be your bitchy put you down type, but they will really act cold, distant, and shut off from you once they see you performing well.

I guess girls supporting girls is just a fun idea until it’s time to actually show a friend that you really do care that she’s been working hard, even if you’re not up there with her. Just think it’s a bit sad tbh, because I see it as such a weird approach for a self professed feminist. I should think female achievement would be something to celebrate, instead of giving such a cold reaction that I feel awkward and don’t want to discuss the fruits of my labours any more.

Does anyone know what I mean? Surely it’s not just me?

 

[emmer_moans]

I submitted my dissertation today....85% complete and I'm heartbroken

It was supposed to due tomorrow, it even says "16th May", but then the supervisor emailed everyone at 1pm, which is an hour after things are usually due....to tell us that it was supposed to be handed in today by midday and not tomorrow and if it wasn't handed in by 5pm then it would be capped at a pass

I am absolutely devastated and grieving I have worked hard for three years and now this. I had my last little bit planned out to finish tonight then I'd get a good night's sleep something I haven't done for two nights and look over it in the morning to submit.

But iv had to submit it today instead and I'm so angry and upset, I was supposed to be happy about this final piece of work. Now I don't even want to look at the grade or go to graduation.

Can you complain to your department admin manager and your Programme Director/ Head of Studies? Bringing the deadline forward doesn't seem right. I would encourage you to raise it, especially if other students do too. Universities will have internal procedures and appeals etc. I am so sorry this has happened to you. I work for a university so I know there will be people you can raise this with. If there's a student voice/ union of students contact you can also liaise with, it's worth a try and they can help press the issue. I really would not let this go unchallenged, a deadline should remain a deadline (unless it gets extended, it should not be brought forward).

 

[Vangirl]

People standing on top of you in a store! I know covid restrictions aren't a thing anymore but I didn't hate the 6 feet apart thing!

 

[LydiaDeetzHat]

the humiliation and continual bafflement that is job applications.

My maternity cover temp role is coming to an end. I am really keen to stay on with my employer who is a large organisation. The pay is poor compared to external roles but it's a great place to work and there are other factors) Via a new pooled recuitment system (that is itself flawed and poorly thought out - thats for other posts) I have had a number of interviews recently. As you are an internal candidate they require hiring managers and teams to give feedback. Each and every bit of feedback I have been given is spurious at best and utter nonsense at worse.

Role 1 - you didnt know enough about the department - a. you really don't need to know anything about the work to do the role as all these roles are PA positions where you mostly do email and diary management b. my Line manager used to work in that department so i gave them a full 5 mins on what they do at the interview

Role 2 - You could clearly do the job, gave strong answers and excellent examples but we went with a dynamic external candidate. So what they are telling me is though they thoughts I was excellent candidate who could clearly do the job, they despite being desperate for staff went with someone who will have to take at least 6 weeks to gain security clearance and is unfamiliar with company systems,, software, policies and processes(our company is a place where it can take months if not years to get used to/learn everything. Even people who have been there years are still learning. Rather than pick someone who can hit the ball rolling without any training etc

Role 3 - I used too many buzzwords and didnt give enough examples. 1 the question where I didnt have an example was asking about when I had had a time in my role with this company where I had received negative feedback . I havent had one - probably because I am good at my job!! but i gave a good account of what I would do if that scenario happened. 2 the use of buzzwords is SO not me I think they have me mixed up with someone else or who have a weird definition of buzzwords. Everyone who has ever metme would tell you thats not my style nor how i speak

There is something weird going on here. Despite doing equivalent role at the company for almost a yr now for an executive who is pretty senior level and having no issues regarding performance or anything else (in fact performing better than person I am covering for in some instances) I am deemed not good enough to do that same role in other departments. I am what a lot of people would consider old ie over 40 and somewhat less than average in the looks department and this is something that I have suffered in all my career (long story but i have barely had a decent or long term job and can never get permanent contracts that last( have had perm ones but in those I was made redundant/bullied) It's becoming pretty clear that as in the past, hirers like me on paper until theinterview.I work very hard on interview questions. prep, skill and ways to perform well/showcase your talents and be successful at interviews. Neither myself nor my Line manager who is also my mentor can remotely understand why these people are finding fault and rejecting me and I can only assume it is ages/looks basis,. I am the same person they attracted to on paper - justwith an ugly face. That isnt even customer facing anyway,

 

[Delia Smith]

When you go for lunch with a fussy eater friend and they start picking out the lettuce / tomato / whatever from their sandwich or wrap and put it in a sweaty mayonnaise lump on the plate. Makes me feel really sick for some reason.

 

[Captainmouse]

Horses ... they should most definitely should be kept in a field and not ridden slowly on a busy road.

Horses legally have a right to be on the road, that’s why they pay no tax and cars do. We would rather not be on the road, especially with arseholes who don’t know the Highway Code, but unfortunately due to building etc a lot of bridleways etc either no longer exist or have been invaded by greenlaners or trailbikes

 

[prozacprincess]

I’ve noticed tractors slowing traffic on single carriage ways at rush hour! I think they have all day to get onto the road, why do they decide to join the road at the busiest time of day.

Farming is a 24/7 job and often time sensitive, they can’t just stop going to and from farms and fields just because you want to get home from work

 

[BaxterBillions]

Barking dogs. I have a dog but fuck sake people who leave their barking dogs outside. They in turn set off other dogs who were happily sitting outside and before you know it it’s like a dog choir

I fucking can't stand barking dogs all day. My mum used to let her dog bark its head off whenever it felt like it. We used to get into rows about it and I'd tell her that it'll be pissing the neighbours off but she carried on ignoring it regardless...until she got a letter from the housing association about it threatening her tenancy and she shat herself!

Honestly, some dog owners are so entitled it's unreal.

 

[BaxterBillions]

My friend said something which the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get.

I'm a single mum, work part time in a very demanding job, my mental health isn't the best & I work really hard trying to cook, clean, parent my child, exercise daily etc. I also have a chronic illness which I'm on chemotherapy for.

She and her partner don't work, and have 4 kids.

I told her I got offered a free counselling course which I was interested in, but I don't have the time to do it.

She went on a massive rant about how I do have time I'm just lazy and unmotivated etc.

I'm bloody exhausted, and yeah if I wasn't working I'd definitely do the course but once all is done at the end of the day I just want to relax. She just doesn't understand how vastly different our lives are and why I don't have the energy to put in to getting this qualification.

You need to get a new friend. How someone who doesn't work lecture someone who does about laziness is beyond me.

 

[Piff paff puff]

The thoroughly miserable old hag who recited at me words seen on signs at the beach "don't feed the seagulls as they may become aggressive" as I threw some bird seed at the seagulls.
Ok first off bitch, don't tell me what to do.
Secondly I know this and I don't care
I could tell she wasn't even arsed about them she just wanted to whinge at someone.
I just threw a ton more bird seed on the ground and at her feet as she walked by

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

Mentally draining days making you question all your lifes choices and you know there's no way out

 

[Hollie Day]

I haven't even left home yet and already I feel like I need another shower

 

[Lonette]

my late father who apparently had to be talked into putting me his only child in his will

Fathers seem to cause so much emotional damage to so many of us.

Mine was never there much, never told his parents they had a grandchild and stuff and in the end he officially disowned me when I was still pretty young because he couldn't hack my existence. He didn't want to pay child support so he decided I wasn't his. I had to have a DNA test, the date of which happened to fall on my 13th birthday and I'm certain the entire thing played a big part in the massive mental health issues I went through during my teens and still deal with today.

Might not still be here if not for my mum, who did everything she could to make up for being a one parent family. Also had wonderful maternal grandparents too, thank goodness.

 

[HoGi]

Sorting out my husbands clothes for holiday and he has to try on every single item before it goes on the "to pack" pile.

Even clothes he wore 2 days ago that have just been washed

 

[emmer_moans]

Acknowledge how you feel without labels. You don't sound crazy and I don't think you did anything wrong if you're no longer close.

I think it just becomes a numbers game when paying for dinner and drinks. I had the exact same feels when I saw my friend's story yesterday about my old best friend who also got married yesterday in Manchester. We were in a group of 5. The other four do keep in contact. I only keep in contact with 1 person out of the 4, but she gives me updates on the others even though I don't ask.

I haven't spoken to the bride in almost maybe two years so didn't exactly expect an invite. In fairness she did send a message after we hadn't spoken in three months, but because of my own stuff I didn't reply back to her "how are you?" .

Thank you. I haven't exactly kept in touch, I think it was seeing the picture with them all and not me when I hear none of the others in the group are that close anymore. Oh well, like you say, I'm acknowledging the feeling and I'll get over it. That's a downside of social media sometimes, seeing photos and old memories crop up.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Bleugh life just feels so mundane and pointless at the moment