What do you want to rant about today? #5

[Catnmouse]

I'm having a medical procedure done on Monday. It's not too serious and requires a bit of sedation, but I have a few long term conditions so it's more risky for me than it would be for the average person. I asked a friend who lives near the hospital if they could pick me up afterwards (which is a mandatory requirement of having the op done because of the anaesthetic.) He said absolutely and let me know when it's happening etc, so I confirmed. I've messaged a couple more times and been ghosted. This was someone I considered a really good friend. He has occasionally been a flake for social things in the past but I really believed that he'd be there for me this time. It literally just requires picking me up and putting me in a cab to go home and I can even wait around at the hospital if the timings don't quite marry up for his schedule.

Last week I started panicking that I'd need to find someone else so messaged another friend whose dog I've looked after before. He's super clingy and requires constant attention and my own dog had to effectively be a second class citizen in her own home when I looked after this dog for an entire day. Said friend runs her own business and schedule and I know she could help if she wanted to (and I've never actually called in the favour I did babysitting so thought this would be an opportune time), but she was like "hmmm I dunno, can I check my diary and get back to you". Of course. she hasn't got back to me.

I asked another couple of good friends who I know would help but genuinely can't because of work. I can't change when the appointment is. It's quite a personal thing so I really don't want to talk about it to many people, but suffice to say, it compounds the fact that I am very single at the moment (I recently went through a breakup.)

I'm fiercely independent and I rarely ask people for help, even though I've got a couple of very serious health conditions. When I do ask people for help I really need it, and I really don't like asking.

I'm just a bit fed up, very disappointed, but sadly not that surprised. I think people have become very flaky.
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Yep I think you are right I just hate letting people down even when they don’t mind doing it to me, last mothers day I invited her to my house and I was going to make mock tails and afternoon tea. She decided she wanted to go to a diner instead and it was a 45min wait for a table and I had my toddler with me at the time. Very stressful considering that was my toddlers first time in a restaurant.
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That’s actually a good idea. I definitely need to get myself out there. I’ve waited so long to have some me time that it may even be nice going by myself.
I just hate confrontation and even though she was blunt with me I hate being like that with others. I’m a people pleaser and people take advantage of that. Thank you for your suggestions
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Unfortunately I’ve always been compromising with her. She says ohh we can do your thing next time. But it never materializes. The place she wants to go to is also 1 drive from me and almost 1 1/2hrs from her. It makes no sense as she has a newborn and my youngest has never been more than couple hours without me.
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Thank you and everyone who gave suggestions and overall for being so nice. I really needed that.

I could try call off sick. But I feel like she’d know I’m lying. I think I just need to be up front like you said. I hope she just doesn’t take it wrong way. And if she doesn’t want to go out to the place I like I’ll just go by myself

Was talking to a good friend recently about having better boundaries (I'm a reformed people pleaser.) I really can relate to what you're saying... I have a slightly similar issue to you with a friend who always wants to meet where she lives, which is on the complete other side of town an hour away. Last time I went to meet her (3rd time me going to her) she was an hour late. I texted recently suggesting a meet up, giving it one last chance kind of thing, and she suggests breakfast near her. I've said no, let's meet in the middle. Yet to hear back and not too bothered if I don't.

Put yourself first. I know it's hard but honesty really is the best policy rather than tying yourself in knots thinking of excuses. You'll feel better I promise.

 

[YourNameHere]

My overthinking. Especially getting stressed or overreacting about stuff that doesn't really matter. FFS brain just stop!
(Yes I will overthink about posting this )

 

[Spacemonkey1972]

I’m actually getting sick to the back teeth of all this. Gingerbread person ffs. Now I’m not religious, last was Sunday school when I was a kid. But the church now saying they’ll remove Our Father. Really? Why?
We were in a supermarket a few weeks ago and a woman had dropped something. A member of staff said ‘madam madam you’ve dropped this’. Afterwards a saw a supervisor take her aside and remind her you can’t say ‘madam’ any more. What in the actual fuck. This needs to stop
Oh and Nicola is an absolute bawbag

 

[Avenged7Fold]

Was out at a restaurant with my boyfriend last night and had one of the strangest experiences ever. We were there for about 45 mins having a nice night when this older couple comes in and sits at the bar. One of the waitresses came over to us and asked if we would mind moving tables as the couple (the man) insisted they sit at our table and that they were getting quite angry about it? I look over to the couple and the woman is literally scowling at me. We were both so shocked (we are both very non confrontational people) and I looked to my boyfriend to see his reaction and he didn't respond for a few seconds and then said "Well if they really want to sit here, it's not that big of a deal to us, we'll move somewhere else." He went outside to smoke and I was left with the waitress, who to be fair was really quite apologetic and embarrassed by it all. I asked if they were regular customers, because maybe they always sit at this table, she said no, I work here most nights and have never seen them before. Bear in mind there was nothing special about this table, at all, there were other much nicer tables (and lots of them, the restaurant wasn't even half full). So the waitress helps us move everything over to our new table (which was actually nicer, heh) and again is extremely apologetic (as were the other staff there including the chef), I don't know why they're being like this, etc and gives us both a glass of wine on the house. Still, it kind of ruined our night in a way because it was so WEIRD and we kept wondering why they'd singled us out and made us move?? Just a total lack of regard for us - we're paying customers too? Why are you more 'important' than us?

On the way back home we were discussing it and both agreed that the staff should have stood their ground and told the couple no, we were already sat there, if they wanted to be difficult about it they could leave. I don't think we'll ever go back now because they didn't stick up for us, but there were all really young girls working there so probably felt quite intimidated by the couple. We should have probably said no too and I'm so annoyed at myself for being such a mouse and going along with it! I was thinking about this all night after we got home, it was just so strange.

Sorry for this very rambly story lol, just had to get it off my chest. Served as another reminder that there are some really shit people out there!

If they had caused a scene, then it would probably have completely ruined your night and upset you.
Sometimes it’s better to look at the bigger picture and save yourself the hassle. It’s annoying giving in to entitled assholes, but you came out of it looking magnanimous and laidback, they didn’t

 

[Sharkfan]

I know I’ve already made one rant today but I have another. My sister has the most disgusting habits ever. She’s constantly taking food and eating in her room which isn’t too bad but she never throws anything away, not even fruit peels.

Spoiler: Talk about menstruation

The worst thing she does is not take appropriate methods not to bleed every where when she’s on her period. She’s 16, been menstruating and live with 3 other women yet doesn’t understand how to deal with periods hygienically. I’m assuming she came on over night and leaked yet instead of rinsing the blood out of her clothes she put them straight in the wash so they’ll be stained now. She also constantly gets blood on the toilet seat but gets cross of you tell her to clean it. The worst thing imo is that she’ll change pads in her room and just leave them there. The thought of doing anything involving that outside of a bathroom disgusts me. My mum thinks it’s funny how incompetent she is and told me it’s not good to period shame her, even when she’s done things like bled through onto furniture because she’s too lazy to change her pad. One time she sat on a pile of clean and ironed washing that was on the spare bed and bled on them and our mum still didn’t tell her she needs to be more away of herself when she’s menstruating. It’s disgusting and I don’t know how my parents aren’t embarrassed that they’ve raised someone so incompetent and lazy.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

I stayed with family last year both late 60s and they are the noisiest people ever.

One stayed up till 2am and there was constant coughing and sounds like she was emptying every cupboard in the kitchen and then replacing it. Then he woke up at 4am and stayed making bread! How flour, salt and yeast require 16 cupboards to be opened and closed I don't know but it was horrendous

I don't think I slept more than an hour or two the entire stay!

Sorry but you've made me laugh.
My next door pensioner wakes me up in the middle of the night to the sound of his weeing in the toilet. He must try to get as far away as he can to see what he can do aerodynamically.

 

[Melian]

Waiting for the bus last night. It was just before 9 so it was dark. Out of nowhere, someone on a scooter, no lights and dressed head to toe in black. Fine if you want to possibly kill yourself. But don't put others at risk.

 

[Pinkii]

Just started a new job- 3rd week there, i’ve barely had any training as they couldnt set up my laptop and systems properly, my manager went on holiday this week for 2 weeks. So i’ve only had time with my manager for 1 week to learn things

I now have peoole asking me many questions that i dont have answers to and getting arsey cause i can’t help as i dont have the knowledge yet, no one else i can ask as we are a small team, and what i’m meant to be doing isnt relevant to what the other 2 do.

I hate not being able to give people answers properly, its giving me anxiety as I know their queries are quite urgent too.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I know I’ve already made one rant today but I have another. My sister has the most disgusting habits ever. She’s constantly taking food and eating in her room which isn’t too bad but she never throws anything away, not even fruit peels.

Spoiler: Talk about menstruation

The worst thing she does is not take appropriate methods not to bleed every where when she’s on her period. She’s 16, been menstruating and live with 3 other women yet doesn’t understand how to deal with periods hygienically. I’m assuming she came on over night and leaked yet instead of rinsing the blood out of her clothes she put them straight in the wash so they’ll be stained now. She also constantly gets blood on the toilet seat but gets cross of you tell her to clean it. The worst thing imo is that she’ll change pads in her room and just leave them there. The thought of doing anything involving that outside of a bathroom disgusts me. My mum thinks it’s funny how incompetent she is and told me it’s not good to period shame her, even when she’s done things like bled through onto furniture because she’s too lazy to change her pad. One time she sat on a pile of clean and ironed washing that was on the spare bed and bled on them and our mum still didn’t tell her she needs to be more away of herself when she’s menstruating. It’s disgusting and I don’t know how my parents aren’t embarrassed that they’ve raised someone so incompetent and lazy.

The period stuff really is out of order. Your mum needs to have a word with her. I don’t think it’s shaming to just expect her to take others into considerstion. If she lived alone she can bleed over what she wants.

 

[slmapg]

Thick as shit people answering my emails.
Messaged company my parcel hasn’t arrived, I get appointed someone to help, first up they reply there was no items missing from my parcel when it was shipped, ok that’s great but I didn’t get the parcel, so then they ask can I send them a photo of the label on the parcel … I DIDN’T GET THE POXY PARCEL!!!!!

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

Just a short rant. I have made BAD choices since my split with husband. One involved running away from one creepy guy after a few drinks to another creepy guy. Who more or less forced me into doing a whole host of drugs (The only drugs I'd ever taken was marijuana when I was 17, and it was rubbish) then bad things happened all night. It was my fault, my responsibility and my idiocy but I still can't get over it and feel like will never be intimate again.

We sometimes do things that are out of character when we are going through or coming out of a big life change or crisis. It’s good that you’re taking responsibility for your actions, but not all of it may have been your fault. It sounds like you were manipulated perhaps and taken advantage of while in a vulnerable state. Nobody deserves that, and nobody deserves to carry that with them forever. Can you reach out to someone (therapist, dr, counseling, crisis centre, anon phone line, women’s sexual health centre are some ideas) and work your thoughts and feelings through this? You shouldn’t carry the burden all by yourself yourself.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Definitely not unreasonable to offer part time after school hours - would you need any help in school holidays too? As that could be offered too - plenty of after school term time only nannies though! Worth advertising as they can get snapped up by trained students / mums looking to fill gaps etc. Shorter hours do tend to be a slightly higher rate (at least in the south/ haven’t looked at midland rates).

Childcare.co.uk is one you get many part time positions posted, also worth joining a local Facebook forum / mums page if they have them where you are?
Another one is search ‘midlands nannies’ or ‘nannies uk’ on Facebook and there should be a fair few pages for potential employers & nannies alike.
Worth googling midlands nanny agencies and enquiring with a few- they will add on fees though so keep that in mind (not sure how much and may be worth it for you if it’s doable).

Definitely not asking too much - plenty of special needs trained nannies or even TAs who would apply!
I hope you can find someone as it will make life so much easier for you!

Thank you! You've made me feel like it could be vaguely achievable.

I'm very down today. The silly thing is their dad works from home but won't rent somewhere he can have the kids to visit properly or stay (he currently rents a room in a converted old people's home that had a shared kitchen and bathroom on each floor).

His behaviour is deliberate and I'm trying to just ignore it and just get on with it butbhes now started to turn the children against me.

I've tried so hard to keep things neutral with them. I've never said anything bad about him directly to them and I've reassured them he loves them etc but one overheard me on the phone saying something negative and he's making out I'm saying this stuff to them. I'm not! I've tried so hard to make sure they know he loves them and that my issues are not their problem.

I'm so tired of this crap. Being with him was grim but this is awful. Not worse but awful in a different way. Sorry I've just blurted that all out.

 

[Avenged7Fold]

I get so angry that people stranded in hospital through no fault of their own but due to a broken social care system that has not been fit for purpose for decades are called "bed blockers"...how dehumanising and cruel.

This country does make me sick with the total lack of humanity we seem to have adopted as a way of life.

I’m a carer, and I briefly worked for one care company who had about 50 carers. Loads of my clients just wanted a cleaner. I didn’t do 22 different care modules just to bleach peoples toilets. If every carer just did care, and left the housework to cleaning companies, there would be loads of carers to actually do the thing they have trained for like giving medication, using hoists and all the other stuff.

 

[littlewonder]

I’ve almost done a piss laughing after reading that . So noisy you can tell their lack of hygeine. Now that is bad lol

I’ll never eat at other people’s houses now that I’ve been subjected to this knowledge without my consent

maybe he’ll take the hint if I post this through his door

 

[Deeznutslol]

Talking about dogs I follow this holistic help for pets group on Facebook just to see the dumb people on it. It’s like a cult. They advise Epsom salt bath soaks and rutabaga cleanses for basically everything. Even things that obviously need surgery they advise it doesn’t.
A few examples one person posted their dog got hit by a car and had a hernia so it’s stomach is in it’s chest but don’t worry it doesn’t need surgery just give it a soak and some vitamins.
One of the worst posts I saw was off a kitten with a leg that was probably already dead from injury and needs amputation. This guy said to wrap a poultice around it. Eventually the owner (she’d found the kitten with the injury) took it to a rescue but only after the dead foot had fallen off! She even posted a picture of the foot after it fell off - the rescue ended up amputating more.
This guy also said on another post an ear can grow back and advised someone on what to do to make it happen.
How can people be so stupid. It’s not just this guy he has followers to post the same things on posts on his group but he is the main guy.
If anyone recommended a vet they get told off and banned for a while/blocked. This page has 35k followers.

It’s a slippery old slope when people start rejecting science and modern medicine in favour of what they read on facebook and social media unfortunately

 

[Rxt156]

I have a friend who I've noticed more and more lately does not really care about listening to other people.

When I'm telling him about my day at work, or a trip I've been on etc I can literally see he is isn't listening and as soon as I'm done speaking immediately jumps in with something only vaguely related but that clearly he wants to talk about. Its tiring and feels so one sided.

Uhhhhhhhh I hate these types of people. Loads of them about unfortunately. There’s no way to get them to care more about others. They are best off in the bin. Save yourself for someone who cares about you.


I don’t have a rant really. I’ll come back later when the husband is home I’m sure he’ll do something lol

 

[Deeznutslol]

Read the news after I saw your post, apparently the police detained all of them but they also can't be sure? It says one of the breeds was Leonberger, it's a hunk of a dog. That many dogs is a pack, no way one dog walker could have controlled them all. Terrible tragedy...

Perhaps an unpopular opinion but every single one of those dogs need putting to sleep immediately… a woman has been killed, no chances can be taken.

 

[lilyannrose]

My neighbours are having an extension built.

Their builders have been using a drill/ jackhammer since 8.30 constantly. It's being used to take down their outhouse, which is attached to the opposite side of their house from me. I'm separated from that by 4 rooms and yet it feels like the drill is in the bloody room with me. My desk is vibrating!

My neighbours renovated their flooring a few years ago and it was a living hell. Starts at sometimes before 7am, going on until after 10pm. It was non-stop for what seemed like most of that year, because I think they did some other projects as well. I had at least one mental break during it.

I accept that sometimes work needs doing to maintain a house but the hours and duration people work without a care in the world for anyone around them subjected to the noise is a problem.

We live in a cul de sac so we told everyone before our works began. I apologised if trade vans blocked their access (they did - many times), and told them to speak to us with any concerns. It was very important for us to remain on friendly terms. I know how quickly these issues can escalate into all out war!

This is what I like! I don't understand people bragging about not warning or apologising when it takes zero effort to do so and costs nothing. Just a little sign that you are aware of those around you can go a really long way to fostering good will.

 

[flutternutter]

Right this is horrible but I'm f*cking SICK of my husband. I swear it's like caring for someone with special needs. He doesn't retain ANY information so I basically have to mother him, did you remember your tablets, have you wiped your arse type situation.
He's misplaced something and he is literally walking room to room just standing in one spot looking.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Literally everyone apart from my nearest and dearest is working my last nerve this week and people are so rude!!!! Why people so unhelpful and unfriendly? I’ve never known anything like it.
I can’t go into specifics because, god it’s every fuckwit under the sun right now I wish I could have wine!