I agree, it is impossible to talk about anything positive and then say "... priviledge" I would love to have children and don't, and I do find it awful seeing people on social media with their children etc, but at a certain point you do have to accept that you need to be able to live in society and feel difficult emotions.... just my opinion though. There are times when I look at some things on social medial with "trigger warnings" and just wonder how people cope tbh
Sorry mods for going a bit OT
I’m so so sorry, my heart goes out to you.
I agree with you. I think trigger warnings (with some exceptions - perhaps eating disorders as I know part of the disorder can be feeling the need to compete, or sexual abuse) don’t do people any favours. It is not possible to completely avoid pain. I think learning to come to terms with the source of your pain is more helpful in the longer run.
I think a lot of it as another poster has touched on is the use of language. For example, my dad died years ago. I have long ago come to terms with it, I do have flashes of pain & regret. But a Father’s Day trigger warning doesn’t help me personally. I don’t have a father anymore when lots of people still do but that is what it is. What seems preferable is acknowledging that Father’s Day might be painful for some but I don’t feel that’s strictly necessary either.
Instead I think we should try to focus on general on being decent and kind to one another. Also, we need to acknowledge that life isn’t fair, and also that racism and discrimination exist. If I was a white person living on the breadline I wouldn’t want to be lectured by upper middle classes white girls that I need to acknowledge my “white privilege”, the use of the word “privilege” is insulting when addressing someone who has no experience of actual privilege. I get the point that they won’t suffer discrimination because of their skin type, but it they’re suffering enough anyways maybe just leave them alone or they’ll start to resent you.
So totally agree with the points raised earlier. Tacking on the term "privilege" to everything just shuts down the conversation and excuses everything. It's kind of the same with the term "problematic." It's so overused by the people who use it that it doesn't really mean anything. I saw that one of Venetia's besties is pregnant (Lottie Murphy) - I wonder if all her friends getting pregnant (she has mentioned that in a couple of YT videos) has sparkled a lot of her thoughts around fertility.
I agree I think a lot of the problem is language. The way V said that she hasn’t heard of “fertility privilege” before. I’d say she has heard or could think of the points raised before but just not the label. A lot of the points seem perfectly valid, but I don’t know if the label helps in any way. It was a conversation between two middle class white women who have a middle class experience of parenting & infertility. I follow Jody Day/Gateway Women and for whatever reason I find her so much more engaging, she also uses some labels like “pro natalism.” Elizabeth Day seems like a women who is understandably caught up in grief and anger. I’m not sure I’d recommend it as listen for anyone struggling.
I hope Venitia isn’t dealing with fertility issues. She seems quite anxious at times,