Just watched her latest video. I haven't watched her videos for over a year now and tbh wasn't even aware that she'd moved out of London. I noticed a huge difference in her. She used to smile a lot!!! She barely smiles in her videos now. Something seems off. Also, I stopped following her on social media because she does a lot of body checking and I found it quite triggering. Don't get me wrong, I love Venetia, but I'm just worried.
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She looks sad 
She used to constantly smile and even when she was talking about stuff like the climate or fast fashion, it didn't feel like it weighed her down as much as it does now. I wonder if it's just because her online presence has grown so much on IG and TikTok and there's more pressure. Even the music she chooses for her vlogs has changed - so much less upbeat.
She used to constantly smile and even when she was talking about stuff like the climate or fast fashion, it didn't feel like it weighed her down as much as it does now. I wonder if it's just because her online presence has grown so much on IG and TikTok and there's more pressure. Even the music she chooses for her vlogs has changed - so much less upbeat.I mean she barely posts on youtube anywya does she? I think she needs to do something as a career that revolves less around social media tbh, it just seems to give her anxiety
I work for an environmental NGO anf it's quite common for my colleagues to get burn out/anxiety from having to keep up with all the news and focus on these scary issues for so many hours a week so I can see how that could be getting her down as her content focuses so much on this. It's great she highlights these issues but I hope she can find some balance if it's affecting her mental health, there's only so much any one person can do. Plus I imagine being an influencer and being on socials/the comparison that comes with the job doesn't exactly help.
She talks a lot about switching off socials at the weekends but maybe even that isn't enough to help her.
She talks a lot about switching off socials at the weekends but maybe even that isn't enough to help her.
She looks so gaunt it’s worrying
Oh my goodness, I wouldn't have recognised her here. Can't help but think that the baggy clothes are her attempt to hide it, too
That is actually shocking.
I used to love Venetia so much back in the day, her head/body ratio looks really worrying.
I used to love Venetia so much back in the day, her head/body ratio looks really worrying.
Her head now looks too big for her body.
This is worrying.
This is worrying.
On her instagram she said she was going on BBC Radio 4 show You and Yours - I have also been on this show and did not get paid.
How does she pay her bills???
How does she pay her bills???
I like her, it’d be hard not to I think. But I just watched her latest video and the way she said “fertility privilege” as a new privilege she hadn’t heard & basically must embrace asap irked me. Probably moreso because I listened to the podcast. I very genuinely think that infertility is one of the hardest things anyone can face. I understand that Elizabeth Day feels highly emotional about her own struggles. But it annoyed me when she said that she wants parents to acknowledge that they wouldn’t be without their children when having a moan. The truth is that some people regret having children & some people realise that they aren’t cut out for the responsibilities of parenthood, some people have financial & mental health issues or just plain can’t cope. I dislike the constant talk of “privilege” because it shuts down conversations. Does the poverty striken 16 year old in the council flat who gets knocked up also suffer from “fertility privilege”.
I also find the people that won’t shut up about privilege are often the most privileged of all. Venitia’s greatest privilege isn’t her whiteness, it’s the fact that she’s bloody rich. She can afford to do a fun job chatting about her passions & hobbies - reading, cooking etc, and clearly someone is keeping a roof over her head while she’s doing it and has done for years.
I do admire her for trying & I do think she genuinely cares about the causes she speaks about. I also hope she is ok.
I agree, being born lucky you can have children isn't the same as being born lucky you are rich/white/ in a rich country.. I think the term "privilege" will start to lose its meaning if we are not careful. Soon it will end up with absolutely everything being considered a privilege, moving away from the real sense of it
I just saw her Instagram story - tucking that long dress into jeans, that must be so uncomfortable! And yeah it always annoyed me how much she talks about privilege, like she isn’t?!
I do like her but at the end of the day if she wasn’t as financially privileged as she is she wouldn’t be able to do what she does. It’s easier to talk about white privilege than acknowledge that.
Elizabeth Day I’m a bit hmmm about. I want to cut her some slack as she’s had such a hard time on her fertility journey. She comes across a bit entitled or something. I agree with a lot of what she says eg I think scan pictures must feel like a punch in the gut, and I think baby showers are unnecessary. One thing she said I didn’t agree with that parents talking about parenting being hard has gone too far. I think “gin o clock” is a bit silly but I think Elizabeth is viewing things from the perspective of her own grief - parenting is hard and people should be able to talk about it without having to constantly declare they are lucky to be parents. That said, I defiantly wouldn’t have a moan about parenting to a friend struggling with infertility, that would be inappropriate & grossly insensitive. Elizabeth didn’t feel the need to acknowledge that the conversation she & her friend were having was about a middle class experience.
Anyways sorry for the aside!
I agree, it is impossible to talk about anything positive and then say "... priviledge" I would love to have children and don't, and I do find it awful seeing people on social media with their children etc, but at a certain point you do have to accept that you need to be able to live in society and feel difficult emotions.... just my opinion though. There are times when I look at some things on social medial with "trigger warnings" and just wonder how people cope tbh
Sorry mods for going a bit OT
So totally agree with the points raised earlier. Tacking on the term "privilege" to everything just shuts down the conversation and excuses everything. It's kind of the same with the term "problematic." It's so overused by the people who use it that it doesn't really mean anything. I saw that one of Venetia's besties is pregnant (Lottie Murphy) - I wonder if all her friends getting pregnant (she has mentioned that in a couple of YT videos) has sparkled a lot of her thoughts around fertility.
What did she discuss around fertility privilege? Can't be bothered to listen and don't have the time!
I’m so so sorry, my heart goes out to you.
I agree with you. I think trigger warnings (with some exceptions - perhaps eating disorders as I know part of the disorder can be feeling the need to compete, or sexual abuse) don’t do people any favours. It is not possible to completely avoid pain. I think learning to come to terms with the source of your pain is more helpful in the longer run.
I think a lot of it as another poster has touched on is the use of language. For example, my dad died years ago. I have long ago come to terms with it, I do have flashes of pain & regret. But a Father’s Day trigger warning doesn’t help me personally. I don’t have a father anymore when lots of people still do but that is what it is. What seems preferable is acknowledging that Father’s Day might be painful for some but I don’t feel that’s strictly necessary either.
Instead I think we should try to focus on general on being decent and kind to one another. Also, we need to acknowledge that life isn’t fair, and also that racism and discrimination exist. If I was a white person living on the breadline I wouldn’t want to be lectured by upper middle classes white girls that I need to acknowledge my “white privilege”, the use of the word “privilege” is insulting when addressing someone who has no experience of actual privilege. I get the point that they won’t suffer discrimination because of their skin type, but it they’re suffering enough anyways maybe just leave them alone or they’ll start to resent you.
I agree I think a lot of the problem is language. The way V said that she hasn’t heard of “fertility privilege” before. I’d say she has heard or could think of the points raised before but just not the label. A lot of the points seem perfectly valid, but I don’t know if the label helps in any way. It was a conversation between two middle class white women who have a middle class experience of parenting & infertility. I follow Jody Day/Gateway Women and for whatever reason I find her so much more engaging, she also uses some labels like “pro natalism.” Elizabeth Day seems like a women who is understandably caught up in grief and anger. I’m not sure I’d recommend it as listen for anyone struggling.
I hope Venitia isn’t dealing with fertility issues. She seems quite anxious at times,
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Finding myself not wanting to look at Venetia's stories anymore, which is a shame because I enjoy the fashion sustainability content
But each time I see her she appears thinner. It's highly triggering to me. I'm feeling myself getting jealous she seems to be losing weight so frequently - which is a huge red flag for my own disorder.
Hope anyone else feeling the same looking at her stories is doing okay
But each time I see her she appears thinner. It's highly triggering to me. I'm feeling myself getting jealous she seems to be losing weight so frequently - which is a huge red flag for my own disorder.
Hope anyone else feeling the same looking at her stories is doing okay
So sorry you are feeling that way! Definitely take a break, it's not healthy for most people to look at- let alone those struggling with a disorder. I hope taking a break makes you feel betterFinding myself not wanting to look at Venetia's stories anymore, which is a shame because I enjoy the fashion sustainability content
But each time I see her she appears thinner. It's highly triggering to me. I'm feeling myself getting jealous she seems to be losing weight so frequently - which is a huge red flag for my own disorder.
Hope anyone else feeling the same looking at her stories is doing okay
I feel the same sometimes, I want to unfollow her cause I get so triggered and feel like she body checks a lot. I can’t believe how thin she is right now- what is going on?! Anyways, I’ll stay getting triggered for now because it confronts me with my own issues, and I do enjoy her sustainability messageFinding myself not wanting to look at Venetia's stories anymore, which is a shame because I enjoy the fashion sustainability content
But each time I see her she appears thinner. It's highly triggering to me. I'm feeling myself getting jealous she seems to be losing weight so frequently - which is a huge red flag for my own disorder.
Hope anyone else feeling the same looking at her stories is doing okay