Oh yes I know someone with it. I eventually stopped being friends with her because she was an emotional drain constantly seeking validation or always with a drama in tow that could have been easily avoided had she taken the advice she asked for in the first place. She moves unsavoury men into her home in rotation from the offset, one relationship ends she will start another straight away. The type who will ask you if they have done anything wrong if you don’t answer to them straight away. Unfit mother who co depends on others, lives in her own clutter and thinks of her fanny first before anything else springs to mind. There is definitely something not quite right with this BDP sufferer I know but I choose not to be around it anymore. It’s exhausting and depressing. Quite frankly glad to see the back of it. She blames all her behaviour on her BDP like it’s some golden ticket to be 40 and behave like a horrible, spoilt, teenage brat.
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No offence taken at all. I think that’s the beauty of this thread it’s so interesting to read other people’s points of view.
I’m only 28 and haven’t drank for about 2/3 years now. When I did drink, I’d be sat in the loos most of the night feeling hot, sick, dizzy, felt miserable and always went home early. Now I don’t drink, I feel fine and can stay out all night, I’d say I’m chatty and always up for a laugh.
I find the people who claim they need a drink are the dull ones when they’re sober. “I’m not drunk enough to dance” “I’m not drunk enough to sing”. & when they’re drunk they feel like they need to make a point of “whhyyy aren’t you drinking??” & “ohh go on, just have one!”
I don’t think it’s acting superior. In my experience I’m just sick to death of people asking why I don’t drink or assuming I’m pregnant. I’m like, alcohol gives me the shits, it isn’t that deep, enjoy your wine
I think we might have the same friend
. When she's good, she's great, but she's a tit parent, no impulse control whatsoever, holds everyone on earth to an impossibly high standard while having zero morals (at least in terms of fidelity) herself and hops from one relationship to the next, always with an overlap because she can't be on her own. There is always some sort of "crisis" which is actually an entirely self-inflicted drama that everyone else is blamed for. It's a shame because she's also a kind, generous, funny person but can't seem to exist without manufacturing chaos to make herself the perpetual victim. I'm knackered just thinking about it.
So you sound like someone who doesn't know how to drink. Being sick in the toilet, thats not the aim.No offence taken at all. I think that’s the beauty of this thread it’s so interesting to read other people’s points of view.
I’m only 28 and haven’t drank for about 2/3 years now. When I did drink, I’d be sat in the loos most of the night feeling hot, sick, dizzy, felt miserable and always went home early. Now I don’t drink, I feel fine and can stay out all night, I’d say I’m chatty and always up for a laugh.
I find the people who claim they need a drink are the dull ones when they’re sober. “I’m not drunk enough to dance” “I’m not drunk enough to sing”. & when they’re drunk they feel like they need to make a point of “whhyyy aren’t you drinking??” & “ohh go on, just have one!”
I don’t think it’s acting superior. In my experience I’m just sick to death of people asking why I don’t drink or assuming I’m pregnant. I’m like, alcohol gives me the shits, it isn’t that deep, enjoy your wine
I don't need to drink to dance, or sing or get on the stage. But everything is more fun when you've had a couple of drinks. It hightens life and motivates.
But then I was a "raver" hate that term, so alcohol is my consolation prize now I'm a grown up.
Same. I'm the life and soul drunk or sober, but a drink takes the edge off my self consciousness so I'm just a bit more friendly and positive after a drink.
Some people are really sensitive to alcohol (especially East Asians) and go hot, red and dizzy when they drink. I had a Chinese friend who got "Asian flush" every time she drank so she just took class A drugs instead
.
Irish people get a bad reputation when it comes to alcohol but the English are far worse. Especially when on holiday.
See this on someone’s chart and run a mile
you’re not alone,
See this on someone’s chart and run a mile
ive just had to Google BPD\EUPD … wow, sounds like a license to be an hole.
That sounds really condescending
Alcohol can make people unwell, even small amounts of it.
I don’t know how to drink? I used to have 3 or 4 drinks over the course of a few hours and would feel vile. I’m talking hot sweats, nausea, diarrhoea. I may have an intolerance. For me, it’s not worth feeling tit over. Not drinking doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
I can enjoy life and have fun without it. Just because alcohol doesn’t heighten life for me doesn’t mean I don’t know how to do it.
People need to stop being so judgemental over us who choose not to drink.
Shakes head at Performative actions...
Sainsburys renames Chicken Kiev to Chicken Kviv..
is this going to make a blind bit of difference to Putin and his actions? I suspect not
Sainsburys renames Chicken Kiev to Chicken Kviv..
is this going to make a blind bit of difference to Putin and his actions? I suspect not
Thank you for this and the to person you quoted too. I have 3 out of 5 children diagnosed but I think the other two are autistic too, just more able to mask. It's clearly hereditary along with the ADHD which two of them have. I'm not on Instagram etc, the most I've mentioned it is on here, mainly because it's anonymous.Yes good points @maytoseptember I wanted to say something on the subject, but you expressed it much better than me.
I do think that autism can be quite hidden especially when children are high functioning, in a way they are also penalised for coping so well,(no one takes them or their parents seriously sometimes) and as you pointed out, masking traits in order to fit in, and be socially acceptable, is quite common.
I also know of all the stress that causes, I see it in my son since he started a special school he is thriving, but at home and in private, I can almost see him decompress and let go of all the accumulated tension.
I have 3 children with ASD and they acknowledge it, but they don't go on about it, or feel sorry for themselves (that's other people's projections)?
I think people forget that it's a spectrum and that every child presents differently?
I agree the stereotyping isn't helpful, and if you've had to fight to access help or a diagnosis, it can feel a bit insulting for people to infer that you're exaggerating or your children don't really have difficulties, yeah I'm not imaging it, or want it to be true so I can claim benefits or humble brag on Facebook.Also I agree that there is a genetic component to it (that I didn't know of initially until I became a parent, I later learnt that I have it myself, but I only found that out by seeing it in my kids).
Society is so behind on this .. ignorance is not bliss but added hardship.
Maybe a minority of parents become over protective or over zealous about educating people,(Been there in all honesty)....but then maybe that's because they feel better being vocal or more visible (inclusive) or acting as an advocate for their family, because society does not have a good track record of being accomodating or helpful to autistic people.
Who often were either misdiagnosed or locked away in institutions, not that long ago and let's not forget Leo kanner and his dubious theory about refrigerator mother's.
So mother's of autistic children can still feel blamed and not taken seriously, and who can blame them?
Mothers and Autism: The Evolution of a Discourse of Blame
Although now discredited, the idea that mothers’ behavior is responsible for autism lives on in the social pressure that mothers feel to save their autistic children, at a cost to both the self-blaming parents and people with autism.journalofethics.ama-assn.org
I do feel blamed as a parent but realistically I'm not at fault for my genetics. It's very clear it's passed down through generations.
Some days I feel rage about how people don't understand but other days I have no fight because I've used it on dealing with my actual life. Today is one of the latter.
I desperately wish more people understood.
You’re joking?
. It’s all getting far too bandwagony now.
Though obviously not everyone who doesn't drink, these people can duck right off. I used to work with a guy who used to come to Friday drinks after work every week and then sit there sober going "wow, you're having another drink?" to people at about 7pm and sit there looking down his nose at everyone.
If you don't like drinking, people who are drinking, or people who are drunk don't come to the bleeping pub.
Maybe it's going to be a UO but I disagree - the whole point of all this stuff is that Ukraine isn't Russia and we need to get out of the habit of using the old Russian words like Kiev, war or no war. It's just taken a war for anyone to actually do it.You’re joking?
This is a very uneducated comment. Clearly you’re lucky enough not to suffer with a chronic illness or have any loved ones who do. If you did and saw how limited it makes their daily lives perhaps you’d be a little more sympathetic.fibromyarsehole,
Must be terrible to live with someone who thinks it’s a personality trait like most do.
tell me again how many tablets you take for random pains and aches.
also, controversial,
BPD/EUPD. Not a real illness.
a lot of the time, you’re just a witchthat doesn’t excuse you’re behaviour, you’re just a bit of a witch.
I’m also stunned to see that you’re a moderator having written such awful comments.fibromyarsehole,
Must be terrible to live with someone who thinks it’s a personality trait like most do.
tell me again how many tablets you take for random pains and aches.
also, controversial,
BPD/EUPD. Not a real illness.
a lot of the time, you’re just a witch
Agreed. I have a close friend who suffers from borderline personality disorder and while I will absolutely say she's a big hole because of it
she is unwell and has a diagnosed mental illness. Her illness ruins her jobs and relationships and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's got to be incredibly difficult to not be able to control your thoughts and impulses and reactions the same way that a healthy person can, to the degree where it is actively destroying your life. It absolutely exists, but I appreciate that this is the "unpopular opinion" thread, aka the "be a head with no consequence" thread.
youll find a lot in the medical profession question both illness
not alone on this…..Some consultants hold off diagnosing EUPD because they know it effects the treatment that will be offered to the patient.
only cancer crohn's disease and cystic fibrosis in my life, one dead as a child due to the latter, and a stroke that left a family member paralysed, and a few mental health issues
again, I base my opinion on what I’ve been told by professionals and my own experiences with patients with EUPD/BPD.Agreed. I have a close friend who suffers from borderline personality disorder and while I will absolutely say she's a big hole because of it
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I
But, BPD & EUPD are mental illnesses that sit under the ‘Cluster B’ umbrella of personality disorders. People with these types of disorders struggle to regulate their feelings which leads to patterns of behaviours others describe as dramatic, unpredictable and disturbing.
Most people with a Cluster B disorder will have suffered some kind of trauma, neglect or abandonment as children. Which leads to the development of the disorder.
Not all people with BPD/EUPD are simply just a witch. And people who are simply just witches don’t always have personality disorders. (Most of the time they don’t) Mental illnesses are complex, so to suggest they aren’t real illnesses sadly invalidates the real sufferers.
I know this is the unpopular opinion thread (& most of the time it’s a laugh) but it’s really sad to see such stigma and ignorance around mental health.
Granted that cancer, chron’s & CF are all physical illnesses. (Sad to read re: the childhood death)only cancer crohn's disease and cystic fibrosis in my life, one dead as a child due to the latter, and a stroke that left a family member paralysed, and a few mental health issues
But, BPD & EUPD are mental illnesses that sit under the ‘Cluster B’ umbrella of personality disorders. People with these types of disorders struggle to regulate their feelings which leads to patterns of behaviours others describe as dramatic, unpredictable and disturbing.
Most people with a Cluster B disorder will have suffered some kind of trauma, neglect or abandonment as children. Which leads to the development of the disorder.
Not all people with BPD/EUPD are simply just a witch. And people who are simply just witches don’t always have personality disorders. (Most of the time they don’t) Mental illnesses are complex, so to suggest they aren’t real illnesses sadly invalidates the real sufferers.
I know this is the unpopular opinion thread (& most of the time it’s a laugh) but it’s really sad to see such stigma and ignorance around mental health.
As someone who does have diagnosed BPD I feel fully able to confidently say that there are many people, particularly women who self diagnose and jump on the mental health bandwagon. BPD seems to have replaced Bi-Polar as the latest in thing
I was horrified when I received that ‘label’ despite being misdiagnosed as bipolar for years. It made me feel like all my dirty secrets were out there for the medical profession and therapists to gawp at. I felt ashamed until a very kind mental health nurse who cared for me after yet another suicide attempt, attributed it to a kind of PTSD. My awful childhood experiences had warped my brain chemistry in a way that left me unable to form normal relationships. I was so desperate for love that I equated sex as love. I lost my virginity at 12 years old and a pattern of hyper sexuality followed by irrational behaviour if I was rejected haunted me for decades.
Apparently BPD issues decrease with age and I’ve certainly noticed that. Yes I can still be a witch … but can’t we all ?!?
I was horrified when I received that ‘label’ despite being misdiagnosed as bipolar for years. It made me feel like all my dirty secrets were out there for the medical profession and therapists to gawp at. I felt ashamed until a very kind mental health nurse who cared for me after yet another suicide attempt, attributed it to a kind of PTSD. My awful childhood experiences had warped my brain chemistry in a way that left me unable to form normal relationships. I was so desperate for love that I equated sex as love. I lost my virginity at 12 years old and a pattern of hyper sexuality followed by irrational behaviour if I was rejected haunted me for decades.
Apparently BPD issues decrease with age and I’ve certainly noticed that. Yes I can still be a witch … but can’t we all ?!?
The way I see it with my ex friend, she got her BPD diagnosis later in life, in her mid 30s. I am not stigmatising mental health but since she got said diagnosis she has acted a bigger hole knowing she can go “oh never mind it’s my BPD, so you can let me off”. The straw which broke the camels back was her stealing something from someone’s house (another friend of hers) it was a box of medication of all things and she was gloating about it like a cat which got the cream to me but didn’t get the reaction she wanted out of me so burst into fake tears and started blaming her BPD for being a thief. No, she just enjoyed taking said medication to get off her rocker, so her eyes lit up at finding a box she didn’t have to pay for off the street.
When people are expressing themselves here it’s not so much at all “personality disorder” sufferers itself. They’re just making an informed choice to stay away from people who use it to define who they are or act like a complete bleep to then keep blaming it on all their terrible actions or the dreaded label collectors who have seen it used as the latest trendy label and have self diagnosed. BPD patients can be quite detrimental to their friends, family or associates mental health.
When people are expressing themselves here it’s not so much at all “personality disorder” sufferers itself. They’re just making an informed choice to stay away from people who use it to define who they are or act like a complete bleep to then keep blaming it on all their terrible actions or the dreaded label collectors who have seen it used as the latest trendy label and have self diagnosed. BPD patients can be quite detrimental to their friends, family or associates mental health.
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I wondered if anyone was going to change the name of Chicken Kiev, and mentioned it the other day to my husband.
That’s almost as funny as M&S’s Little People Gems or whatever they’re calling them now.
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