TTC #9 Your worth is not determined by your fertility

[Cloak]

Period now six days late, but definitely not pregnant. So beyond frustrating! This means we tried at completely the wrong time.

I felt kind of PMS-y day before yday, still nothing though.

I have increased dose of Sertraline (SSRI) though from 50mg to 100mg just before Xmas and am now reading that that can cause changes to menstrual cycle— including missing a period altogether. Ugh!!

the other option is that it was just stress or something. Or an unsuccessful implantation.

I wish I had a digital display on my belly so I could just find out wtf is going on in there

 

[Jasminexx02]

Spoiler: Pregnancy Test

Hi all, just to give an update, the two yesterday were definitely positive but I’ve taken 4 tests with my first morning wee and they’re all definitely negative so I fear I may have had a chemical it’s still very early obviously but I’m feeling really upset about it, I let myself get too excited yesterday. Top two tests are the ones from yesterday, bottom 4 are from this morning

.

 

[Jasminexx02]

Spoiler: pregnancy tests, loss

Hi again all, so after numerous negatives this morning I’ve just had two faint positives again and my head is just all over the place. So confused, I’ve been crying all day thinking I had a chemical, still think I could have done but I’m just not sure, had a gp call who said it’s too early to tell and to wait until my period is due at least and tbh if I’ve learned anything from all of this is that, after this cycle, I am NEVER testing before my period is due ever again

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Someone take me away in handcuffs. I just rechecked my tests from this morning and there are faint lines. I know, they’re probably evaporation lines. But Jesus take the wheel

Ahhh I hope they were positive!!!

 

[LifeOfMog]

Feeling slightly gutted at the moment - we are not actively trying, but also not actively preventing since October last year (if that makes sense), got news yesterday that someone close to me is 3 weeks plus whilst still on the pill.
This time last year, we really thought we'd have good news but still nothing yet

 

[ASAnigel]

Currently waiting for AF to arrive (should be today or tomorrow). I’ve made peace with not being successful with it this month but I’d really rather my confirmation to come from AF arriving rather than the disappointment of a BFN - is that weird? I know they both mean the same thing.
Unfortunately I’m due to work tomorrow, I can’t do my job if I’m pregnant so if AF doesn’t turn up when she’s meant to then I should really do a test in the morning, purely because there is a (very small) chance I could be, but I don’t want to because I know the answer, but I’d hate to potentially cause damage if a miracle has happened.

Ugh, I feel like I’m going mad over here!

 

[Jasminexx02]

Thanks guys, think I'm gonna leave it a couple of days and test again

 

[Scorpihoe]

I find my fertile window so much more frustrating than the TWW. During the TWW I tend to be able to forget about it all for the most part and don’t get antsy to test etc but in my fertile window all I think about is DTD and the timing of it all. Long lustful stares across at my partner while he’s just trying to watch the telly ffs. Then if I’m not feeling up to it I get really annoyed with myself.

The TWW is the most painful bit for me. I get a random twinge in my stomach and I’m like is this it??? Conception? Implantation? I get a bit of nausea and I think “hmm definitely morning sickness!”. The most bizarre symptoms and I’m thinking I’m 100% pregnant I wasted like 8 pregnancy tests last month, testing at 7DPO I was greeted with a BFN every time

 

[Jasminexx02]

I’m pretty certain I’ve had duff tests or a chemical pregnancy if I can even call it that, I’m 14DPO now according to my tests and still getting such faint lines. I’m literally googling obsessively to see success stories after faint line. AF is due tomorrow. I’m just so enraged that we have to go through SO much and then even when you get 4-5 faint lines on tests it still means nothing?! How on earth are we supposed to cope with this. I’m only 6 months in to trying “properly” and I’m so so down about it. Lying in bed in the dark now, I can’t face trying to do normal things today.

I’m so sorry it’s heartbreaking. I don’t want to get your hopes up because I know it doesn’t help but I did read some people saying they were still getting faint lines even day 14/15 and it was fine but I think it’s also best to prepare yourself for just in case equally because going from being hopeful to heartbroken is a huge fall xx
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I’m bleeding today two days after period was due and I’ve decided I’m gonna take a month or two away from TTC as two chemicals in a row has just mentally killed me off more than I would’ve ever expected. I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and I hope that by the time I’m back as many of you as possible might have moved over to the pregnancy thread instead. Sending you all so so so much love, the loveliest group of people on tattle xx

 

[Meg78]

Guys I’ve woken up to some light brown spotting/discharge (sorry TMI!), I’m 10dpo. Is this normal? I have no idea what it is? I’m googling and some say it’s implantation bleeding, some say it’s nothing, some say it’s before my period comes. But I’ve never had this before a period, I usually get brown blood after a period. Thank you x

Could be any of those three, sadly no way for us to know on here, you’d need to test to check for pregnancy or wait for shark week to appear. Have to say though if you get pregnant your first week here I want to know which leprechaun you hit up for good luck

 

[Meg78]

So frustrated, I’m CD15 and had my peak this afternoon, I’m NEVER this early, I’ve had a shorter luteal phase for ages, so obviously I’m super excited and clamber into bed only for husband to announce he’s feeling a bit off and he’s not up for it tonight. I do understand that if you’re unwell then sex is the last thing you want but oh how I wish it could have been any other night! I think if we tried tomorrow night it might be too late? Out before we had a chance this month

 

[Elisha97]

Someone I know has a baby that’s not even two WEEKS old and the whole pregnancy she posted about wanting to go out and get drunk etc.. she’s out in a different city dressed up and drinking without the baby tonight (after dumping her on various relatives and carting her about) and I’m trying so hard not to be hurt by this or apply the situation to myself as I would have given the world to still be pregnant and have a baby

 

[Keera]

I live away from my parents and in laws and as we agreed to try in August/September I naively was convinced I would be telling them all the happy news once I travelled back for the holiday period. Now obviously that’s definitely not going to happen and all it’s like an extra disappointment.
They know we want children, not that we are trying but I still feel the expectation of news whenever we visit.
Does anyone just be up front that they are trying to stop the comments and nudges from family? Or just grin and bear it?

 

[Greencatfysh]

I’m 12 or 13 DPO depending on which app I use and negative on a 10mi/u test. Counting myself out now, I don’t think there’s anything there. Annoying as our usual DTD schedule got interrupted by both of our parents being EVERYWHERE for the whole of Christmas and New Years, so i don’t think we did it enough. Ygggggghhhhh. On to the next one!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I think AF has turned up. I took a peek at the apps and they both reckoned I would have a period about now. I’ve had horrible PMS and have been spotting, but if this is my period it’s the lightest I’ve ever had. My period normally just arrives, there is no warm up spotting. It’s CD 29 or thereabouts. No idea if I ovulated in this cycle as I ditched it all for some Christmas excess. It’s definitely not implantation bleeding or anything like that, MrDragName and I haven’t even had the time for sex all cycle .

I don’t know if I’ll put TTC on the back burner for a bit or not. I’m thinking of changing jobs as I’ve hit the limit of my tolerance for my current role. Honestly, I hit it about a year ago but I’ve been soldiering on but my final straw came at the end of last year and I spent all of Christmas thinking about how I was totally done with the place. There’s no enhanced maternity in my current job so I wouldn’t be giving that up, but obviously you have to be in a new role for a certain amount of time before you even get SMP, far less any enhancements. We’ll see. I applied for a job that pays more than double what I currently get. If I somehow actually got it, I could just save half my wages and sack off any enhancements and live off the savings if I did get my BFP . Maybe we could not try but not prevent, it’s not like trying has been going that well!

 

[Bingobango]

Been a bit MIA but been given the date for our fertililty appointment. Nervous about it and all it could uncover.
I don't normally but I also spotted the day before my peak in ovulation so I'm holiding my breath that it means something...I dunno. Trying not to get to caught up in it all again.

 

[RoseyThorney]

10dpo and I tested this morning. My nipples were burning all night and my boobs feel so engorged. Big fat negative. So fed up. If I get another BFN tomorrow I’m just giving up and having a drink tomorrow night.

 

[Elisha97]

Long time reader first time poster! We’ve been actively trying ttc for a few months now, I was on the pill for 10 years and been off it for a year! My best friend came off her pill 3 months ago and announced to me last week that’s she’s pregnant after one month of ttc, of course I am over the moon for her and so excited, but I can’t help but feel absolutely deflated and upset that it hasn’t happened for us yet - dare I say a little bit jealous, am I an awful person for feeling like this?! Just needed to get it off my chest somewhere!!

nope I feel that. It’s so frustrating when you do everything right and yet others seem to do it with such ease

 

[DMD12345]

A good friend of mine came round yesterday to tell me she's pregnant after a few months of trying. I knew she was TTC and would probably fall pregnant quickly a she did with her first child, so it was to be expected and I really appreciate her sensitivity in telling me privately but it doesn't make it any less painful after trying for so long and confiding our struggles in her

 

[Elisha97]

Spoiler: Test

can’t stop shaking, I had what I think are lines this morning. It’s 4 days before my period. What do people think please?

thank you

edit 2: thanks for your help @User767676 i managed to get the spoiler over the picture too by manually typing!

any thoughts if you feel able would be so appreciated xx

 

[littlepup]

Spoiler: Pregnancy Test

And back to positive this morning, what is going on 🫠 I’m exhausted View attachment 2578162

Did you do the digital yet?

Spoiler: TW loss

it’s even harder as this is our first month really trying after our loss, which happened in our first month off of contraception and when we only had sex once. So everyone says how easy it’ll be to conceive again. Serious mindfuck.

Comments like this can be really unhelpful. It’s like the “at least you know you can get pregnant”. People are trying to be positive but it gives you more feelings of failure if it doesn’t happen fast.
After 4+ years of no luck I fell quickly upon trying again. “Super sperm”, “Just look at her and she gets pregnant” comments. Then well over a year later I’m in pieces wondering what I’m doing wrong, if my body is past it, everyone saying “you want to hurry up and have another if you’re going to” as though you can snap your fingers because you’ve had one already.
Plus no one seems to understand the difference between conceiving and sustaining a pregnancy.

There certainly are positives in conceiving quickly but please don’t let it add additional pressure or expectation 🩷