Toxic friends

[Tinkerbell cat]

Oh wow. I'm so so glad that you're away from him. You've done the right thing! Oddly enough, your story resonates with me a lot but with an old friend with benefits. I have BPD and social anxiety, he used me for money,sex and abused me. He got me into drugs as well when I hadn't touched more than weed at that point. He would openly say he was a sociopath. I didn't think he was serious because I'm also a bit gullible. He hated me going on dates with other people and would do anything to sabotage it. Some of the stuff he did is far too triggering to put on a forum. Yet when I called him out for doing the same thing, it was my bpd making me paranoid I'm also disabled as well and this guy belittled me and my uni degree constantly, saying similar things to make it look "good for the uni to be diverse."

I really hope you're doing well now


Oh wow. For other people to mention what she was doing as well! I really don't get people sometimes, I'm glad you're away from ber now x

Your old friend with benefits sounds a lot like my ex, well I call him an ex but we only knew each other a year and saw one another on and off. I’d say we were a couple for about all of a month. I’ve mentioned him on here quite a few times.
He was always belittling me, always making out I was the problem.. he would constantly moan about everything from his friends to his work but if I ever had a crap day and wanted to talk about something he wouldn’t wanna know. He would block, unblock me on Facebook, WhatsApp etc... he deleted me off Facebook once because he saw I’d liked something but hadn’t responded to his text. He only ever wanted to see one another on his terms, if we did meet up it would be probably once every 4-6 weeks and even then he would make out it was a burden. It would always be me going down to him and only ever be for a few hours as he was just so set in his ways and his routine. I really liked him but the pub, football trips and everything else was his main priority and god forbid I have a problem with that. We just clashed constant and I was his punchbag. He then told me one day he was single, and he could do whatever he wanted so I made a decision to accept that, I stopped chasing him, I stopped running after him, I stopped being his emotional punchbag and I walked away. I took time out to sort my head out, eventually got myself into a good place again, moved on and met someone. Ofcourse my ex decides then he wants to make a go of it!

That wasn’t the end of it though. He’s a narcissist, so naturally just makes fake emails/social media etc to watch what my partner and I do, to slag me off and call me a fat mess, huge thunder thighs, my family hates me, everyone hates me, I’m disgusting.. the list is endless but it’s relentless and nobody else would put up with it, I have done though because of how much he drained me I just felt I deserved it all... but he’s someone else’s problem now.
How someone can think it’s okay to treat another human like crap and make them feel so controlled is just so wrong be it a partner or a friend. It doesn’t matter. Nobody has the right to control anyone. It’s narcissistic and toxic. Xx

Definitely - my partner didn't ever get into conversation with her as he found her too needy I'm wondering whether or not I should even bother mentioning the Mother's day tag bit at all, or if I should just use the "it's not you, it's me" approach for an easier life lol

I'm not worried about sending the message. Just the aftermath of it all really

Don’t worry about the aftermath. It’s not your concern once you send the message and block her. You’re putting yourself first. I think it’s so not on that she would consider contacting your partner too, that’s just too much in my eyes. It’s very unfair to you. You sound like a really lovely, caring person OP... I’m sorry someone is making you feel this way. Its wrong but well done on making the first step in getting some serious breathing space. You’ll feel so much better within yourself x

 

[Definitely Maybe]

Good luck @Creep , sending positive vibes

 

[Base2019]

I hope it went ok tell your partner to block her too

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

My proposal for a message to this difficult friend:

"I didn't mean to upset you at all and think it's a bit much to be upset because I tagged my mum in something once the other day. Having a full on conversation with someone and tagging someone in a post is completely different to me. It just feels a bit suffocating that I'm even having to justify that at all really. If I'm being honest, this feels far too claustrophobic for me at the moment and therefore it is best if we take some time apart from each other and let our contact rest for now."

 

[Clairer86]

Oh wow. I'm so so glad that you're away from him. You've done the right thing! Oddly enough, your story resonates with me a lot but with an old friend with benefits. I have BPD and social anxiety, he used me for money,sex and abused me. He got me into drugs as well when I hadn't touched more than weed at that point. He would openly say he was a sociopath. I didn't think he was serious because I'm also a bit gullible. He hated me going on dates with other people and would do anything to sabotage it. Some of the stuff he did is far too triggering to put on a forum. Yet when I called him out for doing the same thing, it was my bpd making me paranoid I'm also disabled as well and this guy belittled me and my uni degree constantly, saying similar things to make it look "good for the uni to be diverse."

I really hope you're doing well now


Oh wow. For other people to mention what she was doing as well! I really don't get people sometimes, I'm glad you're away from ber now x

How are you feeling today? Im sorry you have also been through something similar, and it does sound like we share a lot of stuff. So im glad (well not glad but i hope you know what i mean) that you will understand what i mean about my 'friend' being my "favourite person" and how invested us Borderline Superheros can get with our favourite person! So for me to completely cut him out of my life was massive! Never in a million years did i think i would be able to do it, but honestly i didnt even miss him! I certainly didnt yearn for him. It literally felt like a huge weight had been lifted, and it felt so good!
Im doing much better now, im currently going through a depressive episode so thats been awful but things seem to be looking up. I even did some exercise this week, and i didnt got straight back to bed as soon as i dropped my kids off at school. Thank you for asking after me when you have got all this tit going on. You are a lovely person. And if you ever want to chat about anything then you can always pm me. Sometimes its frustraiting being a borderline- everyone thinks we are manipulative and nasty, when in actual fact we are the most loving, loyal, and caring people out there.
I hope you have plucked up the courage to tell your 'friend' and remember you have nothing to feel bad for. She is toxic and you dont need her in your life xxx

 

[dillydallywally]

I think as you get older you realise some people can just be tit, and who your true mates are. I’ve been trying so hard with a certain friend for years and it’s like I don’t get what I do or don’t do, I get such mixed messages I’ve literally no idea if they like me or hate me, then sometimes when I see them they’re lovely?! It’s so draining and I’m so over it. The problem with this person is that she’s marrying into my husbands family so I now can’t get away from it. Maybe this person treats all her mates this way, I don’t know, but I feel like when someone doesn’t reply or gives you mixed feelings or just makes you feel negative in any way, cut them out. Life is too short and there are so many amazing people who are so caring and kind, if someone acts like they don’t care, believe them. I honestly think in a situation like that the only way is to completely cut them off for your own well being. In my situation for example I’ve tried for years and still am none the wiser so I give up!

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

How did you get on Op, has she been bothering you or has it all been ok. Hope you’re ok x

 

[Creep]

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated. I sent her a message yesterday, and to my surprise she hasnt replied at all. She saw it right away too! I expected her to fly off the handle

 

[dillydallywally]

So many people are toxic game players it’s unbelievable! It’s the ones who pretend they don’t care too.. when they really really do. Much better without them!

 

[Butterfly444]

Our friends are similar - I really want to tell her I don't want to be friends anymore but I'm scared of the drama or if she tells things that I've told her to other people etc. I feel trapped I hope she doesn't bother you no more x

 

[Creep]

Our friends are similar - I really want to tell her I don't want to be friends anymore but I'm scared of the drama or if she tells things that I've told her to other people etc. I feel trapped I hope she doesn't bother you no more x

This is how I feel too! I ended up essentially playing the "it's not you, it's me" because she already knows there's a lot going on in my life at the moment. I wish I was a bit more ballsy and just say things how they are but as much as she's hurt me, I couldn't do it back xx

 

[GirlLondon]

Hey there!
Any update on your friend?
It's a very similar story to mine. It was a school friend and she was toxic as in she would not LISTEN to me or she would ask for my advice, ignore it and then want my sympathy. She didn't like hearing truths and so there was no point in me telling her that I just didn't want to be here friend anymore. We have known each for about 25 years. First, I tried to do what you did but the ghosting just wasn't working. In the end, I had to send her texts because I blew up. I wasn't nasty. I was very direct and just stated that our paths are different and I feel our friendship has outgrown itself and it was time to just move on separately and I wished her the best. Of course, she wouldn't accept it and kept trying to call me and I ignored. She left a couple of nasty voice mails. Then kept trying to call. I had no choice but to block her. Then she called on a different number and left a voicemail from that. I had to block. She finally gave up. Her behaviour proved my point that she was a toxic person and couldn't accept any criticism. I felt so much better after that!!

 

[Creep]

Hey there!
Any update on your friend?
It's a very similar story to mine. It was a school friend and she was toxic as in she would not LISTEN to me or she would ask for my advice, ignore it and then want my sympathy. She didn't like hearing truths and so there was no point in me telling her that I just didn't want to be here friend anymore. We have known each for about 25 years. First, I tried to do what you did but the ghosting just wasn't working. In the end, I had to send her texts because I blew up. I wasn't nasty. I was very direct and just stated that our paths are different and I feel our friendship has outgrown itself and it was time to just move on separately and I wished her the best. Of course, she wouldn't accept it and kept trying to call me and I ignored. She left a couple of nasty voice mails. Then kept trying to call. I had no choice but to block her. Then she called on a different number and left a voicemail from that. I had to block. She finally gave up. Her behaviour proved my point that she was a toxic person and couldn't accept any criticism. I felt so much better after that!!

Hey! I sent her a message and to my surprise, she didn't reply despite reading it right away. I was expecting her to blow up on me! My friend was like yours, always wanting advice on stuff which is fine but then never took it. I'm quite practical when it comes to my advice (for other people, myself is different lol) but after a while it got draining when it was the same stuff. I felt awful really but I would just say a very generic "oh no" or "that's not good" when she wanted my sympathy for the same thing for the thousandth time. She wouldn't listen to my either on my troubles and would always spin it back to her.

I'm glad she left you alone in the end! It certainly showed her behaviour when she couldn't handle your boundaries

 

[Creep]

So I have an update. I've been told via a mutual friend (ish, I only know this person in passing tbf) that my toxic ex friend has spun the narrative of the lie she created, the one that almost ruined my relationship and made herself the victim. For starters, I'm angry that she's sharing such information with another person when I told her in confidence. But now I've been painted as the bad guy when it was her who caused all of this.

I'm trying to rise above it and be the bigger person. It has made me feel confident in my decision to cut her off but jesus christ I'm so angry.

 

[GirlLondon]

So I have an update. I've been told via a mutual friend (ish, I only know this person in passing tbf) that my toxic ex friend has spun the narrative of the lie she created, the one that almost ruined my relationship and made herself the victim. For starters, I'm angry that she's sharing such information with another person when I told her in confidence. But now I've been painted as the bad guy when it was her who caused all of this.

I'm trying to rise above it and be the bigger person. It has made me feel confident in my decision to cut her off but jesus christ I'm so angry.

Best thing to do is to keep calm and carry on. EASIER SAID than done, I know. She is either trying to get a reaction from you so that you contact her and isn't handling the rejection from you well, or she feels guilt and trying to convince herself and others that she was victim.
If you don't have any mutual friends, then you really needn't worry. If you do then your real friends will know the truth without you having to explain. And it was also a bit weird that she was contacting your partner?? I hope you both blocked her.

 

[Creep]

Best thing to do is to keep calm and carry on. EASIER SAID than done, I know. She is either trying to get a reaction from you so that you contact her and isn't handling the rejection from you well, or she feels guilt and trying to convince herself and others that she was victim.
If you don't have any mutual friends, then you really needn't worry. If you do then your real friends will know the truth without you having to explain. And it was also a bit weird that she was contacting your partner?? I hope you both blocked her.

I ageee, I'm rising above it and just carrying on. I think she did that knowing it would get back to me, maybe in hopes of me saying something, I don't know. But no, apart from that one person we don't have any mutual friends so much easier that way.

She used to contact my partner regularly while we were friends. She did it a lot back when we first got talking and I genuinely thought she fancied him lol. She'd then message me things like "I've just had a good chat with *partners name*" when she hadn't lol it was a brief conversation they had in passing. Any chance she had, she mentioned him. But then she started messaging him when I didn't reply for like an hour because you know, life. Stating how concerned she was because I hadn't replied when in reality I was at work. It was all too much!

 

[moosesauna]

Does anyone have any experience with a friend like this? I'm beginning to think that my friend is quite toxic and I'm not sure what to do I'll write my story below

I've been friends with this person for about 2 years now, I think I made a thread here a while ago about it. But to sum it up, she is quite intense with messages and I just shrugged it off as wanting a friend.

These last 6 months have been rough. I found out that she made up a huge lie and stuck her oar in which almost destroyed my relationship. I caught her out yet she apologised but threw my partner under the bus at the same time. I never usually confront people but I did with her. I asked if she didn't mention the subject anymore because it's a sensitive subject anyway but she ignored that. Anyway, I gave her a second chance but requested time as what she did hurt me plus there were quite a few things happening in my life at the time and what she did was the final nail so to speak. She didn't give me the time despite asking in several ways, hounded me several times a day and even messaged my partner loads about it. I will admit, it made me dig my heels in a bit because I just felt like she wasn't respecting my decision.

She's always been quite a self centred person I guess. Again, shrugged it off because I was the person she spoke to about everything. I was ready to speak to her again, I put something like "Hey. Sorry I've not been around, there has been a lot going on" and straight away it was "I've got so much to tell you" and she went straight into talking about herself. Didn't even ask me once how I was, she never does. It took her a matter of hours, to mention the subject I asked her not to. It's something she did a lot of despite me asking her not to, it feels like she was almost goading me to react.

Everything feels like a competition with her and it always has done. I excused it at first because I know that people use their experiences to relate, as I do that too. But it's a case of if I've been to Tenerife, she's been to Elevenerife if that makes sense? It made me not want to say anything about myself, because saying something like "I've got a cold" I'll be told that she has "the worst flu ever" sort of thing. It's quite draining and I felt like I was constantly supporting her (which I happily do) but didn't get it back. I don't expect anything back at all but surely it goes two ways? She flies off the handle with me if I criticise her and turns it back on me and makes me feel guilty. I will be honest and say that I don't always handle things the best, so perhaps I didn't word it very well or something.

I've made the decision to cut her off. I've never cut a friend off before, friendships in the past would gradually fizzle out. I struggle with confrontation and social anxiety so this isn't easy for me and I'm constantly second guessing what I'm doing. So I'm not sure what to do. With the way she is, I don't think no contact would work. But straight up telling her would cause more issues too. I'm limiting contact at the moment while I figure out what to do but I don't even know if that is right anymore. I just feel suffocated really.

I don't know if the word "toxic" is too strong for her, I always just thought that she was lonely really.

Does anyone else have experience with a friend who is similar?

Yes!! I had a flatmate & friend who was exactly like this - right down to the over-competitiveness about everything (mostly food-related, which was pretty difficult for the both of us). It's great that you've made the decision to cut her off, and I hope that you find someone else who's more mature and kind!

I ageee, I'm rising above it and just carrying on. I think she did that knowing it would get back to me, maybe in hopes of me saying something, I don't know. But no, apart from that one person we don't have any mutual friends so much easier that way.

She used to contact my partner regularly while we were friends. She did it a lot back when we first got talking and I genuinely thought she fancied him lol. She'd then message me things like "I've just had a good chat with *partners name*" when she hadn't lol it was a brief conversation they had in passing. Any chance she had, she mentioned him. But then she started messaging him when I didn't reply for like an hour because you know, life. Stating how concerned she was because I hadn't replied when in reality I was at work. It was all too much!

Yikes, I'm really sorry that happened to you - it's horrible of her to make out like something's going on in order to make you worry!! Best to block and go cold turkey on all communication with her, unless you've done so already :/

 

[LadyGarden]

I've skipped the entire thread so sorry if what I'm saying has already been said.

Your OP resonated so very strongly with me; I've been going through pretty much the same scenario except that this person has been my friend for over 30 years.

My dad died last year in pretty traumatic circumstances. Due to COVID restrictions I had to deal with everything myself (funeral, probate, selling the family home, the impact on my children etc. etc. etc.). My toxic friend thought it was appropriate to phone me repeatedly (always drunk and hysterical) to tell me about something going on in her life. I explained time and time again that I wasn't able to deal with her situation as well as deal with my own trauma but she simply ignored my requests and ramped it up. She was 100% 'me me me' and didn't care about what I was going through. In the end I had to cut her off for my own mental health because she was totally disrespecting our friendship.

I got back in touch with her after a while but the cycle of self-interest is kicking off again with her. She's very manipulative and can even turn one of her apologies into some form of of emotional blackmail ("I'm so sorry for what I did BUT I only did it because life is so VERY tough for me me me"

It's exhausting, I dread her phone calls because she's usually drunk and full of self pity. Friendships are supposed to be a two-way thing but for many years it's been a one way street with her and that doesn't make me feel valued in any way.

Yes, these people are toxic, emotional vampires.

(now off to read the rest of the thread)

 

[Bobbleowl90]

I was going to start my own thread for this but figured this existed and it can go here, but it is quite lengthy.

Some users will have seen me post previously about a friendship circle I was having issues with. This was a few weeks ago and I’m really, really struggling to come to terms with it.

There were three of us. I introduced the other two to each other and they weren’t friends before I introduced them, so I was always the one who organised things etc. I introduced them as I was getting married and they were both my bridesmaids so I wanted them to be friends. All was well until about six months ago really. Friend 1 (who I have known the longest) just suddenly stopped liking anything I put on social media. We got married abroad (they ultimately weren’t part of the wedding due to covid) and she didn’t even like all my wedding photos. My hen do was cancelled and they didn’t make any effort for the “pretend” hen do that I had. It was crap. No photos were put online but a week later friend 1 went for drinks with other friends she barely knows and it was plastered all over social media. It made me feel crappy, like I’m not worthy or something. Maybe it’s me being paranoid, I don’t know. We had a group chat and when my husband and I went on honeymoon, it was around then that anything I said in this group chat, it just got ignored. But they would both speak amongst themselves but ignore me.

Constant little digs - I used to let my baby fall asleep on me and put him down in his cot. Friend 2 would drive her baby in the car every single night then transfer to bed. To me, that’s the strangest of the two methods. But friend 1 would question me in the group chat as to why I did it that way, but act like driving a baby to sleep was completely normal. I bought my wedding ring and sent a photo and got told it wasn’t nice and she preferred plain ones. Because hers is plain. I booked an outdoor meal in an igloo type tent for my babies first birthday and got told it was rubbish. I had my covid vaccine and got told she wouldn’t have it even if she was offered it.

Friend 1 hates her job. I love mine. She began a volunteer role but told friend 2 it was a paid role. She had already told me it was voluntary. Friend 2 suggested she quit her job now as she had another but she let her believe she had two jobs and two wages. I could have said something, but I didn’t.

I arranged to meet friend 1 one day and she stood me up. I had printed some interview papers for her especially. I rang her and she didn’t answer so I went back home. She told me it was too cold and she couldn’t wait any longer for me. I had arrived on time. A few days later she asked if she could collect the papers from me and I said I had binned them. “I would never do that to a friend” was her reply and she made a big deal in the group chat of friend 2 husband dropping them off for her instead. Whenever I asked to meet up with friend 1 she was always “so, so busy” or seeing other friends. She always made a point of how she was seeing so and so this week and how she had so many friends.

It was my birthday and we always, always buy cards and presents. This year I got nothing. Absolutely nothing. Two weeks later it was friend 1 birthday and she got a card and a present off friend 2. That really, really hurt me.

I asked friend 2 to meet up and she said we can’t because of covid. Yet a week later she met friend 1. They asked if we would all like to meet a week later and I said yes. Nothing got mentioned and I assumed it wasn’t happening. But low and behold that day, they had met and plastered it on social media. I had had enough so I asked why they had met and they said they didn’t think I was going. We haven’t spoke since.

I’m really struggling. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I’ve been pushed aside and forgotten about. Since then, they tag each other in everything on Instagram. I know it’s for my benefit and to make me feel like tit but it’s working. I don’t want to be friends with people like this but it’s really damaged me. Friend 2 I met because our husbands were best friends since kids. Her husband hasn’t been in touch with mine for weeks now either. I have gone to bed for the past month and just cried. It’s effecting my relationship and I feel like I’ve been thrown back to high school as something very similar happened to me back then too. I never thought it would happen again in my 30’s. Friend 2 owns a business and I noticed she is now friends on Facebook with my hairdresser and commenting on her things. I honestly now want to cancel my appointment with my hairdresser. My husband says I’m being daft, but they’ve effected me in a way I didn’t think was possible to damage me so much. I don’t understand why somebody would want to hurt me so much and I don’t know what lies she is telling people as to why we don’t speak no more.

I have a couple of other friends but not loads. These were my “best” friends and I feel so hurt and destroyed.

Sorry it’s long and thanks if you’ve read it all. There’s probably loads more to add but I’d be here all night.

 

[Happyvalley]

I was going to start my own thread for this but figured this existed and it can go here, but it is quite lengthy.

Some users will have seen me post previously about a friendship circle I was having issues with. This was a few weeks ago and I’m really, really struggling to come to terms with it.

There were three of us. I introduced the other two to each other and they weren’t friends before I introduced them, so I was always the one who organised things etc. I introduced them as I was getting married and they were both my bridesmaids so I wanted them to be friends. All was well until about six months ago really. Friend 1 (who I have known the longest) just suddenly stopped liking anything I put on social media. We got married abroad (they ultimately weren’t part of the wedding due to covid) and she didn’t even like all my wedding photos. My hen do was cancelled and they didn’t make any effort for the “pretend” hen do that I had. It was crap. No photos were put online but a week later friend 1 went for drinks with other friends she barely knows and it was plastered all over social media. It made me feel crappy, like I’m not worthy or something. Maybe it’s me being paranoid, I don’t know. We had a group chat and when my husband and I went on honeymoon, it was around then that anything I said in this group chat, it just got ignored. But they would both speak amongst themselves but ignore me.

Constant little digs - I used to let my baby fall asleep on me and put him down in his cot. Friend 2 would drive her baby in the car every single night then transfer to bed. To me, that’s the strangest of the two methods. But friend 1 would question me in the group chat as to why I did it that way, but act like driving a baby to sleep was completely normal. I bought my wedding ring and sent a photo and got told it wasn’t nice and she preferred plain ones. Because hers is plain. I booked an outdoor meal in an igloo type tent for my babies first birthday and got told it was rubbish. I had my covid vaccine and got told she wouldn’t have it even if she was offered it.

Friend 1 hates her job. I love mine. She began a volunteer role but told friend 2 it was a paid role. She had already told me it was voluntary. Friend 2 suggested she quit her job now as she had another but she let her believe she had two jobs and two wages. I could have said something, but I didn’t.

I arranged to meet friend 1 one day and she stood me up. I had printed some interview papers for her especially. I rang her and she didn’t answer so I went back home. She told me it was too cold and she couldn’t wait any longer for me. I had arrived on time. A few days later she asked if she could collect the papers from me and I said I had binned them. “I would never do that to a friend” was her reply and she made a big deal in the group chat of friend 2 husband dropping them off for her instead. Whenever I asked to meet up with friend 1 she was always “so, so busy” or seeing other friends. She always made a point of how she was seeing so and so this week and how she had so many friends.

It was my birthday and we always, always buy cards and presents. This year I got nothing. Absolutely nothing. Two weeks later it was friend 1 birthday and she got a card and a present off friend 2. That really, really hurt me.

I asked friend 2 to meet up and she said we can’t because of covid. Yet a week later she met friend 1. They asked if we would all like to meet a week later and I said yes. Nothing got mentioned and I assumed it wasn’t happening. But low and behold that day, they had met and plastered it on social media. I had had enough so I asked why they had met and they said they didn’t think I was going. We haven’t spoke since.

I’m really struggling. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I’ve been pushed aside and forgotten about. Since then, they tag each other in everything on Instagram. I know it’s for my benefit and to make me feel like tit but it’s working. I don’t want to be friends with people like this but it’s really damaged me. Friend 2 I met because our husbands were best friends since kids. Her husband hasn’t been in touch with mine for weeks now either. I have gone to bed for the past month and just cried. It’s effecting my relationship and I feel like I’ve been thrown back to high school as something very similar happened to me back then too. I never thought it would happen again in my 30’s. Friend 2 owns a business and I noticed she is now friends on Facebook with my hairdresser and commenting on her things. I honestly now want to cancel my appointment with my hairdresser. My husband says I’m being daft, but they’ve effected me in a way I didn’t think was possible to damage me so much. I don’t understand why somebody would want to hurt me so much and I don’t know what lies she is telling people as to why we don’t speak no more.

I have a couple of other friends but not loads. These were my “best” friends and I feel so hurt and destroyed.

Sorry it’s long and thanks if you’ve read it all. There’s probably loads more to add but I’d be here all night.

I feel so sorry for you, you have been treated terribly by them and I can tell how hurt you are. I think at this point you have nothing to lose by asking them both outright what it is you have done to them for them to cut you out in this way because you can’t understand what’s happened. It will either give them the opportunity to air their grievances and maybe you can get to the bottom of it or it might just confirm your fears that they are cutting you out.

They are basically bullying you and it’s very hurtful. I know it’s very easy to say when you have so much history and you said not many other friends but it truthfully sounds like you’re better off without them. That will take you a long time to deal with and come to terms with. But you will. Ask yourself do these people make you feel good about yourself? Do they act like they care and respect you? Do they deserve your friendship? Would they be there at the drop of a hat if you needed them, no questions asked? I think if the answer is no and they make you feel so terrible then they are not friends and it’s not worth fighting for.

The only consolation is honestly I’ve seen this type of behavior before. There will be a point when they turn on each other. It will happen. It may take time but karma will happen. You know how capable they are of treating people like this, trust me they’ll do it to each other at some point. Stay strong, it will get easier and there will be a point when it doesn’t hurt as much.