Toddler advice thread #4

[Jellybean093]

13 year old daughter who struggles daily with anxiety. Our relationship was at rock bottom for years because I struggled in the early days with her. We are ONLY getting back on track now. I’ve missed so much of her life being angry at her all the time for doing ‘normal’ toddler/kid things
Kids are sent to test us

 

[moimoi]

Hello all! I haven’t posted in these threads for a while, my kid is 2 next month somehow, but I need to rant somewhere, so I apologise.

I quit my job last year as I wasn’t ready to return (they were dickheads and I’d rather spend my time with my son) and fortunately, my husband earns enough.

My toddler started nursery a couple days a week at 18 months, so I’ve been looking for a job since then, got to the final stages to a few of them but haven’t been successful. Anyway, I’ve been feeling really shit and borderline depressed about this, and I’ve had a few comments from people (men) that have made me feel even shitter.

Brother: ‘You not got a job yet?’ Me: ‘yeah, being a mother’ Brother: ‘Easiest job ever.’

Dad: ‘You got a job yet?’ Me: ‘No.’ Dad: ‘Lazy sod.’

A dad who lives local: ‘Any luck on the job front, or are you just chilling?’

What do I say back to these twats? Has really put in perspective how little people (men) think of mothers.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Oh they were very, very wrong! Sure even myself I’m all happy smiley lovely colleague at work all day. I get home and I’m so grumpy

I mean she gets her attitude from me 100%

On a less woe is me note.. I only passed my driving test in October and haven’t had much chance to practice as new baby in January. Today I drove over to the next town and parked in a very busy car park and took both kids to the splash park. Currently sat in the shade while she has a splash around.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I should’ve clarified I had all intention of cooking their dinner afterwards time just got on with me trying to sleep that there wasn’t the time to cook what id planned

alls good, they’ve had weetabix with banana, toast and yoghurt and a bath and they’re happily reading books on the bed

But you having a nap shouldn't come before cooking them food? That should be first.
Do you not have a partner who could've cooked something filling whilst you rested. I understand the exhaustion but cooking a meal would always come before anyone else's needs.

Sorry I don't think you'll get the understanding you're looking for here..

 

[Definitelyme]

Leaving a kid in nappies when they are dry because they can’t be bothered to change wet sheets is awful. There are mats you can put on a bed or even get a waterproof bed sheet
And if Mini A is having accidents while on holiday not wearing a pull up, chances are she’s not dry at night and has one wee a night


ETA - my 3 year old wet the bed 3 nights in a row last week. Not sure why, but as we had mats it was easy to change and stick a wash on. Never would I put him back in nappies

I agree. Not wanting to change wet sheets so using pull ups? That’s horrendous. Wet bed accidents are an occasional part of parenting young children.
One of my pet peeves is people who have kids and cannot be bothered to do the basics to look after them or moan about every aspect of normal parenting.

 

[ElektraWintour]

Don’t you just love the days where you can’t win

We’ve been to a toddler class, she’s moaned.
We came home, she moaned.
We’ve been outside, she’s moaned.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Hello. I have a friend who got a little girl who was a prem and is comng up to 3 years old. Her daughter weights 2 stone 4 lbs as of yesterday (she weight her every Saturday) friend is freaking out as thinking daughter is overweight everyone saying g oh she a heavy one isn't she. I bet your over feeding her (she isn't trust me the kid eats all fruit veg as good size meals as junk food on weekends) if people don't stop it's going to set her bulimia off. Her daughter is a solid child. As being from when started soilds. Plus the kid is strong she pulled her mum over who is strong herself and was a solid baby herself. I told her the kid is fine. Don't worry she a.toddler all under 4 year olds have extra weight on them but it drops when schools start. So can someone on here tell me she is panicking over nothing.

It’s such a shame a child can’t be a child without someone commenting on her weight!!
when mine broke his arm they weighed him before his op and the doctor said he is the weight of a 7 year old. He’s 4🫠.( He’s one of the tallest in nursery). But then said he isn’t over weight though. He’s just tall and quite stocky. He is also very strong

it’s a bit sad she is weighing her every week that can’t be good for the both of them. She sounds like a healthy child she shouldn’t listen to other peoples comments.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I’ve said it twice to her. It’s not a common occurance no harm done. She’s not going to grow up to be an anxious mess cos two times at 3 years old I’ve told her not to run off or go near the road cos it’s not safe and I’ve been drastic about the wording when I’ve told her in less dramatic ways and it doesn’t get my point across.

But how can you be sure no harm is done?
Unfortunately sometimes they just don't understand the point, because they're too young and it's down to you to continue to teach them until they do understand

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I made a mini mistake at work on Saturday after my rubbish nights sleep with LO when I couldn’t keep my eyes open and a customer complained so got called into managers office. Not sure what Is going to come of it but it has ruined my day.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Prob wrong thread to post tbh as it wasn’t my toddler disturbing me it was my 6 yo who really does know better. Oh well, home straight and we can have an early night. Could sleep standing up right now lol

Yeah I still wouldn't expect any child to know better. If they're hungry they're hungry. Especially after swimming it uses an awful lot of energy. I'd just crack on & get everyone an early night and a filling tea.

 

[al255]

Just wanted to come on and say thank you for all the advice about our routine needing to change!

So tonight I did bath etc , ipad as usual then books in my bed instead of hers. I made it very clear to her that at 7:30pm she had to say goodnight to the books and I put the books in the spare room & the door locks so there’s no way she’s getting them, she said goodnight to them and then I told her we had to be quiet or else the books would wake up.

She walked to her bedroom and kept telling me to shush then got in bed, we had cuddles and kisses and that was it..”Goodnight mummy I love you”.. no tears, no drama, no shouting..!

I hope it continues for us …!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Thank you, I’ll take what you’ve said on board!! It does help when I give her options , she’s such a stubborn and strong willed child just like me so I’ve nobody to blame apart from me

Just seen this on fb

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

I agree. I certainly don’t want my children to be ruled by fear at all, especially fear of death. I think that’s absolutely crazy, personally.
Never mind a 3yo had no concept or understanding of what death actually means.

It’s not death she will be afraid of. It’s her mum.

I can still remember learning about death when I was about 5 and my grandad died and I became obsessed and used to cry myself to sleep so many nights terrified that my parents or I would die. I think topics like that if not approached gently can really affect young children.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Omg my toddler chats shit at bedtime anything from 30 mins- an hour and a half I just know full well to not expect a quick bedtime. Even when he’s not napped all day he’ll start telling me how cars have wheels and he likes blackcurrant jam

 

[JulesC]

This is absolutely what my daughter has chosen today. She ended up in our bed and kicked me most of the night so we’ve already done 6 on this list and it’s not even 7am yet. Pray for me please, going to be a lonnnnnnnng day

 

[JulesC]

I know this is a divisive subject and I’m not trying to start a debate but I just want to say that I spent the bank holiday weekend potty training my daughter who is 3 years and 8 months, it took her two days to get it - it was so much easier than I thought it would be. Yes I’m sure there will be accidents here and there but I just wanted to reassure anyone who is thinking of or has left potty training to later as it sounds like I’ve had a much easier time with it then my friends who did it earlier. Her nursery told me a few months back that they didn’t think she was ready yet - they’re all different and don’t feel like it’s a race to make sure they are potty trained by the time they are 2 or whatever xx

 

[Definitelyme]

I don't know if it's right but I've always explained they're adult words
I've not told them off, just calmly told them. And they've not repeated them.
We've only had it on a few occasions and me and my partner swear, him more than me

We do this as well. Just say it’s not a word for them to use, and that’s that.
I swear far too much. And my kids don’t at all. My 4yo did say “tough titties” the other week though, which is not something I ever say so I’ve no idea where she got it?!? It’s not a common phrase here at all.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Is it 3 years and 4 months they get their next jabs?

Can’t even remember. Something like that. You will get a letter you don’t need to make an appointment before they contact yiu
---
So I hardly ever take mine shopping. Only unless i have to. I usually get Asda delivered but I can’t really afford that anymore. Anyway I took him to Asda and Aldi this morning thought I’d get it out the way. Asda he was fine then Aldi he wouldn’t hold my hand wouldn’t push the trolley like he usually likes to do. So I put him in the bottom he wouldn’t sit he kept wanting to run off down the isles so I kept hold of his hand all the way round he was kicking off shouting and trying to sit down almost tripped me up at one point. And I could feel eyes on me but just kept my head down and chucked anything in my trolley ( I spent 40 quid barely got anything to make a meal ) then this woman came out when I was in the car park and said she thought I was amazing at handling it I’m doing an amazing job and people are too quick to stare and judge. Then I got in my car and cried

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My little one has finally got his EHCP. I think I am going to cry with relief

 

[Definitelyme]

I think this is the case as the feedback this morning was that she had a really positive day and being really helpful with tidy up etc. and had time in the garden. I think that she went to a point of over compliance and self restraint and let it all out at home ‍

It is definitely true that they can be great all day, and the hard work that is for them exhausts them and when they are safe with you it all just explodes out of them. And that is so hard, because we get all the rubbish, and it feels like you never get your lovely child x