Toddler advice thread #4

[al255]

I tried with my 3 year old and he’s just definitely not ready got a bit distressed this morning. Going to leave it few days and try again. Good luck x

I tried with my daughter august last year when she was 2.5 years old, she wasn’t ready at all. Loads of accidents and weeing more than she usually would. Tried again end of October/November and it was so easy. The difference of a few months!

 

[Definitelyme]

I don’t know if this is the right thread.
Should I be concerned that my 15 month old only has 4 teeth?

Not at all. My 3rd didn’t have any teeth until she was over 13 months, so wouldn’t have even had 4 at that age. She had a full set before she was 3. Some kids just teethe later than others. My no4 didn’t have any until he was 12 months. He just turned 2 and only has 11.

 

[ElektraWintour]

My 3yo dropped the f bomb the other day, in front of my husband because she picked it up from him he explained to her she shouldn’t use that word and thankfully she’s just accepted this and not said it again.

We’re big Bluey fans in this house so try and stick with ‘oh biscuits’

 

[Definitelyme]

If my mum told me when I was younger I could get kidnapped I think I’d be traumatised

I know! I wouldn’t tell my older kids that at the ages they are now! I honestly feel traumatised for the little girl having to hear it. Stay close or you’ll be taken. Stay close or you will die.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

At my wits end with my three year old. Had a lovely day together then as soon as her dad comes home she just gets so disregulated and overwrought. Been refusing bedtime and has just pissed all over the bathroom floor. I lost my head and shouted at her, feel awful now. I’m at a loss and starting to feel really down.

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Hi everyone, after a bit of advice. Just turned 4yo has been potty trained for about a year. The odd regression here and there and will still sometimes not quite get to the toilet in time but I’d say 99% of the time she’s fine, and she always notices and tells us when she has had a little accident. We still have her in pull ups on a night because I know being dry on a night is a hormonal change rather than a behavioural thing that can be taught. Question is, how many dry pull ups would you give it before trying without one? We’ve had two mornings in a row now where she’s woken up completely dry and goes to the toilet. She will also sometimes get up at 9-10pm and go for a wee by herself then take herself back to bed

I think they say if they're dry in the morning when they wake up for about 2 weeks, then they've probably got there. So I'd give it a bit longer. But that's fab! I mean you can always try earlier and put a protector thing on the bed and just see how it goes

 

[I’mThankyou_]

If I didn’t give her the iPad after bedtime for 15 mins she would kick off, it’s easier just to give it to her for 15 mins. Although………. We could read 10 books in the time and she would still kick off she wants one more

I'll be honest here, but it sounds like there's a power struggle. You're the mum, you're the boss, it's your way or the highway.
If she knows you'll give in she'll continue to push boundaries.
Sometimes it takes a week of being firm for them to see that mum means business and I can't get my own way.

It's a rough ride, but sometimes it's the only way.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Not to brag but mine is asleep!!! I’ve really tired him out today. We went to the park this morning and it’s quite big. We walked round it for a hour bless him. We’ve had a lovely week I don’t wanna go back to work on Monday 🥲

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you I am really angry about it. It’s not the first time I’ve had comments about her at the door. They were brushed off at our last meeting but I’m not going to let it slide this time. I’m this close to pulling her completely but god knows where she’d get a place now. She has a year before she starts school and I wanted her to get used to being away from me for a full day before then but it’s actually just making us all miserable.

I would be raging, I would be typing a letter and smoke would be coming out of the keyboard with the rage. Honestly, it’s unbelievable. Yes, she had a bad day, and had behaviours which aren’t the best, but the labelling, the comment at the door, the whole thing just is wrong.

Tbh, and I’m not in any way having a go at you personally, but I’ve never understood the "get them used to being away" thing. If they are going to struggle, they will struggle based on their personality, and so I want to keep that at bay for as long as possible, and allow them the chance to mature a bit more so maybe it’s not so much an issue rather than putting them in early. Does that make sense? I haven’t probably explained very well. But if that’s the main reason you have her in, I’d take her out.
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Oh really. What happened with you if you don’t mind me asking. This is all new to me. Should I email them outplaying my concerns and ask for a meeting or is a WhatsApp message ok? We usually use WhatsApp to talk.

I would email, and I would make it formal.

 

[WhatABore]

Those that have co slept when did you decide for them to go in their own room. Mine is unbelievably affectionate and soft. He hates being on his own!! Even if I go out the room during the day he’ll come with me to the loo or upstairs if I’m nipping up for something. He just won’t sleep on his own never has! He sleeps really well next to me so am I just creating problems by moving him. I can’t remember the last time he woke up during the night.

I can not deal with last night all the time. I know he needs to get used to it but I couldn’t settle at all and when I eventually fell asleep he woke up probs an hour later, came into our room so I got in his bed with him and there wasn’t much room obvs and I just couldn’t settle and he was tossing and turning a lot too so we went back into my bed and then he was wide awake til 3 am ish and my alarm goes off at 6 am
I don’t mind him being in my bed at all but he’s 4 now. Do I keep trying or just let him in my bed again. I’m soooo tired and cos of my job ( walking all day I do 25/27000 steps ) I can barely keep my eyes open now and I just wanna cry
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But he takes himself in there after his bath should I add so he wants to be in there just not on his own but there isn’t room for both of us hah

I think it's just down to what you're happy with. That's the main thing.
He's not going to be in your bed forever!
Some are happy to do it for a year, some until they're 10, some not at all!

 

[al255]

Grim

But yeah, that’s toddler life. They can’t take being told off, a lot of the time they simply don’t have the understanding to realise why they are even being told off.
Remove the power struggles and you’ll solve a lot of the issue. Strong willed kids (and I have some!) need to feel they are being listened to and given options. But you deciding what the options are keeps things in order.

Thank you, I’ll take what you’ve said on board!! It does help when I give her options , she’s such a stubborn and strong willed child just like me so I’ve nobody to blame apart from me

 

[JulesC]

Also a once a week hair washer here as my daughter screams like I’m murdering her when I wash her hair and it’s just too traumatic for both of us to do it any more often I do have a spray bottle (type that hairdressers use and sometimes use that in between to tame it, she doesn’t mind that too much as it’s a fine mist. She’s just starting to put her toes in the shower when I’m in but nowhere near actually getting a shower yet.

My next door neighbour has scared me because her 6 year old daughter still hates getting her hair washed

 

[WhatABore]

I’m with them tbh although obvs I know the Macarena

This is me too haha! I've never danced at a party/wedding ect. Except from my first dance at my wedding which i absolutely hated !

 

[Jellybean093]

Hi everyone! Long time lurker on this thread here but looking for a bit of advice, my nearly three year old has gone on a food strike at tea time. Won’t eat a meal but will spend the whole time asking for a snack. He hasn’t eaten tea for the last week or so and it’s getting a bloody nightmare. To make things worse, at nursery yesterday they said he asked for something early because he was hungry and now I’m stressed they think I don’t feed him, I give him the food and let him decide what to do. I try and not offer alternatives as 1) I don’t want to make another separate meal and 2) I don’t want to potentially waste another meal. Last night I did give him a bowl of rice crispies and a banana and he ate most of that but I don’t want to start doing that every night. Any advice would be much appreciated!

Nursery workers will know he is not the first 3yo to not eat. You won’t be the only parent saying this. Most of the late 2/3 yo on this thread go on food strike
Mine went through this a few months ago. He’s finally started eating better. He would eat nothing I put in front of him for dinners and his response would be ‘I don’t like dinner’ even before I knew what I was cooking. Sometimes he went to bed not eating other times I would offer him weetabix
He’s asking for dinners now, especially cheesy ham pasta, but this works as all the kids eat it
I know it’s frustrating, but it honestly is just a phase

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

That is it, sending them to struggle early doesn’t actually help at all. It just brings the struggle forward and puts it on them at an earlier age when they aren’t anywhere near emotionally equipped to deal with it.
None of mine went to anything before they started education (luckily we were able to do that, i know it’s not always possible) and my now 7yo and my 4yo both struggled. But sending them somewhere early would have meant the same struggles… just a year earlier.

I am lucky I can keep her home. I have enquired at a forest school for my son and they have a space for him for when he starts but I need to do the registration. I wish I could have sent her there but I wasn’t driving when I could have got a space for her.
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That sounds good then. She might feel better after she’s been with you for a bit at home. It breaks my heart to think of a child not enjoying nursery . Least you are wanting to do something about it. You sound like a brilliant mum.

Thank you that really means a lot. I’ve been really hard on myself recently.

 

[PillowsofFluff]

I’m just glad I have an office based job and working from home has become the norm because I think that’s the only way we’re going to manage school holidays.

I'm glad my fiance is a teacher - free childcare during the holidays!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Got mine this from home bargains today it was only like £1.70 and he loves it. Using it in the bath now and really likes it. They swim and move around

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Omg I’ve had to get the fan out for the first time. Both bedrooms are roasting
I hate summer

 

[watermelon sugar]

me and my toddler both have covid 🥲 He watched me do a test and wanted to do one and surprisingly he let me. And they both popped up positive 🥲 He has seemed fine all day then spewed at bed time. All. over. my. fresh. bedding.

 

[Definitelyme]

Controversial question now.
Is 2 years old young to be potty trained? He turned 2 on Saturday and the last few days he’s really mastered the potty, he’s only had one accident and that was when we were out.
I just acted on the signs he was showing me and now I’m worrying it’s early.
My Nan made a sarky comment saying ‘wow he’s young to be doing that’
🥹🥹
I’m slightly smug because he was a premature baby, he was always later than any other baby the same age and my neice was born 4 days before he was and she has done EVERYTHING first, and this is the only thing hes done before her so I’m slightly smug deep down

Not too early at all, all my older 3 potty trained between 2y 1month and 2y 3 months. I also am surprised at your nan, usually older people think potty training should be done younger as it used to be in “the olden days”.
And I enjoy your smugness that’s absolutely how I’d feel too!!

We still have my almost 2yo to go with potty training so I am sure all our best laid plans with the older 3 will not apply and he will be a law unto himself.