Toddler advice thread #4

[watermelon sugar]

How’s everyone’s Mother’s Day going? I’m lead on my bed watching sex/life drinking wine whilst my kids create hell downstairs. This is no doubt something I’ll regret on Father’s Day

I’ve had quite a lazy day and my boyfriend has dealt with everything but he goes to work in a minute so
I’ll have to start doing stuff when it’s Father’s day i’ll remind him i didn’t have my full day

 

[al255]

Just to add to my rant. My daughters dad said “I put things in her mind” as to why she doesn’t like going. Fuck offfffff she doesn’t like going cos it’s boring and wants to be with me

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

I know that feeling, my daughter has been the same since her brother arrived. We’ve been at home the best part of three weeks due to illness too and it’s so difficult. I think being three is a really hard age anyway without the extra challenge you have.
Could you reenact it with toys? Play hospitals and bandage their arms up, while doing it talk to them about how this happened to him and how brave he was and empathise how hard it must be with his cast. He might just need some understanding and where he’s waking up in the night it could be playing on his mind.

 

[WhatABore]

On another subject, can I get people's opinions on whether I am being a dick or not.

My sister in law turns 18 in June (there's a big gap between her and my other half). Big birthday, I get it. They've decided to hire their favourite curry house as a venue for a party, on the actual night of her birthday, which is a Thursday. Not ideal for people who have work the next day, ie my partner, who as a teacher can't just book the day off, but never mind.
They are keen for us to take 3yo miniP but I have flat out said no as it doesn't start til 7pm (her usual bedtime) and although I could be open to keeping her up a little later, I think it would be shit to take a tired threenager to a loud, noisy birthday party and I would be having a shit time trying to entertain her. Or she would just fall asleep - also rubbish.
So they then said, well can your mum have her. Bearing in mind my mum lives an hour away and also works on Fridays, I can't see how that would work. She leaves at 7am for work and doesn't drive, so I'd have to pick 3yo up at like 6am on Friday morning to bring her back home with me.
Now they are suggesting they get one of my mother in laws cousin's children, who miniP has never in her life met and I have only met once, to stay at our house to look after her. So we would still put her down to bed, then leave for the party and they would just sit in the house and make sure she's ok and doesn't wake. Am I being a dick to hate this idea?
I know it's a big birthday and she wants us there but I would much rather we just all went for lunch in the daytime or something and we treated her separately. But, if we don't go, we'll never hear the end of it, and it will be used as a stick to beat us with forever more

I personally refuse to take the kids to things that start late.
I always have been quite strict, I guess, with bed times. I won't go anywhere or do anything that puts it back any more than an hour, max.
Even more so on a weeknight.

If we do have situations like this, whoevers side of the family it is, usually attends by themselves

 

[WhatABore]

Controversial question now.
Is 2 years old young to be potty trained? He turned 2 on Saturday and the last few days he’s really mastered the potty, he’s only had one accident and that was when we were out.
I just acted on the signs he was showing me and now I’m worrying it’s early.
My Nan made a sarky comment saying ‘wow he’s young to be doing that’
🥹🥹
I’m slightly smug because he was a premature baby, he was always later than any other baby the same age and my neice was born 4 days before he was and she has done EVERYTHING first, and this is the only thing hes done before her so I’m slightly smug deep down

If he's managing it, I don't see the problem? Even if he is young or not.
My daughter was 2 years 1 month when we started

 

[Definitelyme]

How would you all feel about a practitioner telling you your three year old was being spiteful at pick-up. I asked how she meant and she was throwing toys, snatching and running through the other kids. Not her best behaviour but I wouldn’t call it spiteful.

She is really struggling atm and we’re seeing the same type of behaviour at home. The last week has been quite bad and I even went to speak to a health visitor last week who was pretty unhelpful. I’m debating whether to pull her out of going all year round and persevere this next term as she moves to a different room in September with free access to the garden.

Noooo I wouldn’t be having that at all. A three year old can NOT be spiteful. I think I would be going back to them about this as that is totally inappropriate, and I would want to know exactly how it was dealt with. I would actually ask to speak to the manager about it tbh, and ask how spiteful fits in to their positive behaviour policy.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I agree. I certainly don’t want my children to be ruled by fear at all, especially fear of death. I think that’s absolutely crazy, personally.
Never mind a 3yo had no concept or understanding of what death actually means.

It’s not death she will be afraid of. It’s her mum.

If my mum told me when I was younger I could get kidnapped I think I’d be traumatised

 

[LilyRose1234]

We semi co slept till he was 6.
He'd go to bed in his own bed at around 7pm, but then anytime from midnight he'd find himself in my bed. He knew he was able to do that, so long as he always went straight back to sleep. Half the time I didn't know until I woke in the morning.
He decided a week before he turned 7 enough was enough and he's slept in his own bed ever since.
I left the ball in his court, he knew bedtimes meant he had to start the night in his own bed regardless and he knew one day, he'd need to sleep in there all night every night but I followed his lead

This is exactly what we do at the moment. She always starts in her bed but if she wants to come in to us she can, sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t. So far it seems to work!

 

[PillowsofFluff]

We are starting potty training next week - eek

 

[pinksunsetx91]

Just need to vent
My daughter has responded to my every request today with “OH-KAAYYYYY” with a real attitude or if I, for example, ask her to get out the car “I’m already DOING it”
Like I love you you are my life and soul but also go fuck yourself

Oh I feel this I actually feel I’m debating with a mini me which is the most frustrating bit

 

[Jellybean093]

Thread it through tights or pants, you never put knickers on when you've got one leg in your jeans?

No

But I can take my knickers off while wearing trousers

You’re making more word for yourself

 

[Jellybean093]

I am lucky she sleeps from 7:40-7am + usually! She was always such a good napper too! At 2 years she was still having 3 hours naptime it was bliss…. I hate the lack of sleep and nobody can prepare you for kids at all! It’s firmly why I’m never having anymore kids but I’m glad I’ve had my one baby Parents that have more than 2, 3 kids I’m like sleepless nights are not for me lol

Ah, I have 4 kids and they all sleep through. I’ve been blessed with shit eaters, great sleepers

 

[Definitelyme]

What do I do if I have more than one child for the poll? Pick my favourite and vote that way?

desperate to know which you voted for now and who is the fave today

I don’t count 4Me as a toddler anymore though, I would say a preschooler?
I have just sneaked TMe in the 1 category, even though he is two next month

 

[watermelon sugar]

Don’t worry!!! He will do it when he’s ready. I’ve given up stressing about it. I’m going to attempt at Easter. He’s 4 in April

We’re just going with the flow. He started the week he turned 3 like two weeks ago wearing underpants at nursery and was doing ok then we all got ill last week and we sort of gave up. He was off from nursery, back this week and they are trying him again but he’s still a bit off from being ill. I’ve got a week off in April for the easter hols i’m determined to master it then I just think they won’t be in nappies for ever so what’s the point in worrying. their ready when they are ready

 

[Definitelyme]

First time posting, my almost 2.5yr old son never dances and doesn't really like to sing. He does like music(if I go to hell I'll hear green grass on repeat forever). Otherwise he's developmentally normal, just wondering if anyone elses toddler is like this?

That’s totally normal. Not all kids like to dance, not all adults like to dance. Some kids loooove it, mine would never really have been dancers.

 

[WhatABore]

Also a once a week hair washer here as my daughter screams like I’m murdering her when I wash her hair and it’s just too traumatic for both of us to do it any more often I do have a spray bottle (type that hairdressers use and sometimes use that in between to tame it, she doesn’t mind that too much as it’s a fine mist. She’s just starting to put her toes in the shower when I’m in but nowhere near actually getting a shower yet.

My next door neighbour has scared me because her 6 year old daughter still hates getting her hair washed

My 5 year old hates it.
10 year old isn't great either
As soon as a bit of water gets in his eye it's MY EYESSS I NEED A TOWELLL HELP
My partner was apparently exactly the same and his mum would wash his hair with him laying on the kitchen counter with his head over the sink until he was about 12

 

[ElektraWintour]

My husband is working and bought me a dress two sizes too big. I decided to take my daughter out which ended in meltdown (partly my thought as it was lunchtime and she was hangry)

Haha that aside I got a really cute gift she made with her childminder so I love that and my husband is ordering me a takeaway tonight so I don’t have to cook.

Hope everyone else had a better day!

 

[Jellybean093]

At my wits end with my three year old. Had a lovely day together then as soon as her dad comes home she just gets so disregulated and overwrought. Been refusing bedtime and has just pissed all over the bathroom floor. I lost my head and shouted at her, feel awful now. I’m at a loss and starting to feel really down.

Ah, I feel you. 3yo is normally a mummy’s boy and I told him I loved him earlier and he told me he doesn’t love me, he loves daddy 🫠
Also, I’m really struggling with everyone’s bed time. We have crappy blinds, which keeps them awake. This has proper thrown them

 

[Jellybean093]

Oh my word. Just sent my 3.5 year old to nursery in her pjs cos she wouldn’t get dressed, up at 6.15am and it’s been one drama after another. She refused to come down, tried to carry her and i was close to dropping her. She wouldn’t do anything. Just handed her to nursery and she’s absolutely fuming, she wouldn’t even get dressed for them. I got in the car and cried cos I was so angry and annoyed I’ve started the first few hours of my day with a screaming child who wouldn’t listen at all!

We are going through the same. Everything is no. Doesn’t want to go bed/get dressed/eat. Every morning it’s a battle with him that I end up putting him in the car while I run around getting everyone’s shoes on. He’s started to hide as well and think it’s hilarious. He’s being a bit cheeky at nursery as well, which is fantastic 🫠

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

I'm sure I read in a Sarah Ockenwell-Smith book that children truly don't understand sharing or have the same empathy adults do until they're at least 5/6. Personally I wouldn't say that's across the board as my 5yo has always been quite empathetic towards others. But I'd agree with the sharing. To be honest I know some adults that are rubbish at that too!

Just spent an hour wrestling the 2yo down for a nap. He's not quite ready to drop a nap yet but he still needs one especially if he hasn't napped on days with the childminder. But he was very grumpy about it this morning - screaming, kicking, throwing his sleeping bag about. Ended up crying himself to sleep. One of those times that makes you feel a great parent, you know Hiding in my bedroom now having a little cry as I feel like utter crap right now.